“Really Most Sincerely Dead”

The last time I wrote was on July 16th when I was dancing with joy because the computer repair shop informed me that my laptop was fixed and we could go get it.

We drove to the shop on Thursday morning. After we got it home, I spent hours happily working and playing on my laptop, rejoicing in its quiet new fan and new keyboard. On Friday afternoon, the laptop suddenly turned itself off and refused to turn back on.

On Monday, we took my laptop back to the shop. The man who I handed my computer to tried unsuccessfully to turn it on. He said, “This is weird.” Trust me, those are not words you want to hear from a repairman. He said that he’d check all the components to see which ones weren’t working. The next day he called to tell me that he believes that the motherboard had died. They do not fix laptop motherboards. (JJ told me later that desktop motherboards can easily be changed out, but laptop ones can’t.) To quote the munchkin coroner in the Wizard of Oz, the shop “thoroughly examined her, and she’s not only merely dead, she’s really most sincerely dead.”

The good thing is that unlike a previous repair shop, this shop did not charge us an additional bench fee when we took the laptop to them the second time. They also took out the new fan and keyboard and reimbursed us so we did not have to pay for items we never used. They downloaded all the information from its hard drive onto an external hard drive that they gave to me in a box. They told me that if/when I get a new computer, they can download the information from the external hard drive into the new computer for us so everything will be restored to what it was. I carefully took the external hard drive home and put it in a safe place, feeling as if I am a hero in a fairy tale or science fiction story, safeguarding the life force of my dear friend until it can be resurrection in a new body. When that will be, I cannot say.

Meanwhile, I am deeply mourning the loss of my laptop. EJ is generously sharing his laptop with me, but it’s not the same as having my own. I am always aware that I am merely a guest on his computer. I can’t use the laptop whenever I want because if EJ is on the computer, I am not. When EJ and JJ are both on their computers, I felt at loose ends, cut off, disconnected. I can’t say, “Hey, look at this interesting article or cute cat video” and send it to EJ. I can’t change computer settings so they suit me perfectly. I don’t have my bookmarks or my photos or my screensaver. I don’t have a large screen that is easy on my eyes. I felt restricted so it’s difficult to write.

Each of us having our own laptops spoiled me.

I miss my computer more than I can say. Excuse me while I go cry.

Sob.