I Love To Go A Gardening
Growing Our Life in Northern Michigan
Spring Greening
The weather is getting warmer. We still have cool days, but both the daytime high and the nighttime low temperatures are higher.
We’ve had rain for several days and the forecast predicts rain for several more. When I took Hannah for her daily walk, I noticed this morning’s heavy rain had caused erosion in the driveway. I slid dirt in the small gullies with my foot to fill them in. When we first moved to our house in 2015, erosion had made huge knee-deep ditches alongside the driveway–and across it in a couple of places. We were able to stop the erosion at the sides of the driveway by filling the ditches in with gravel/dirt and by building small rock dams and planting vegetation to slow the rush of rainwater down the hill. However, we can’t build dams or plant things on the actual driveway itself, so we always have to fill in the little gullies after a heavy rain.
With warmer temperatures and rain, the world is becoming greener. The green haze of new leaves is growing more pronounced every day. EJ started planting early crops in his vegetable garden a few weeks ago. Soon I will have to start working in my herb garden. I think we need to get the screens in the windows soon, but we haven’t done it yet. Next week–if it stops raining–I plan to mow the lawn for the first time this year.
Our two little Buff Orpington chicks are growing very quickly. I talk to them whenever I go into the bathroom and chuckle when they look at me through the door of their cat carrier. I’m hoping I’ll be able to get the chicks out to the coop before they outgrow the cat carrier. Our coop is a 12 x 10 shed. Inside it, we have two dog houses and a fancy coop; the adult chickens like to roost on their roofs. When the weather is warm enough and the chicks are big enough, I will shut them inside the dog houses so they and the adults can get used to each other before they mature enough to join the general population.
In early April our son went back to his job on the Great Lakes bulk carrier. They were on their first trip of this year’s shipping season when they hit a large buoy (it looks like a small lighthouse). It caused major damage and most of the crew was sent home while the ship was repaired. I thought it would take a long time to repair, but surprisingly the crew was called back to the ship last week. The ship still has a big dent in the side. I really hope it’s sea-worthy. Or should I say “Great Lakes-worthy?”
While onboard his ship, JJ ordered his Dad and me some books that he thought we’d enjoy. He ordered me a beautiful Lord of the Rings book containing sketches that JJR Tolkien himself had drawn. He knows LOTR is my favorite book. He bought EJ two books about Great Lakes ships. The LOTR book and one of the ship books arrived today; the other is on the way. JJ was hoping his ship would be mentioned in the book, but it wasn’t. Maybe it will be in the second ship book? Regardless, it will be interesting reading about the ships we see passing on the live-stream channels on Youtube.
I can’t wait to delve into my beautiful book, but I’m going to make myself wait until I finish the current series I’ve been reading by C.J. Sansom about the medieval lawyer at the time of Henry VIII. I just started reading the fifth in the seven-book series.
History
It appears that Spring is here. The weather is warming, but still gets chilly so I alternate between coat, jacket, and even just a sweatshirt. Tiny buds are forming on the lilac bushes and some of the trees. I’ve been watching the bluebirds building a nest in a birdhouse. Now and then I see a crow carrying a mouthful of material for its nest. A couple of days ago I heard and saw a big flock of sandhill cranes flying overhead. We have kicked the chickens out of the garden and EJ has begun planting early veggies. However, I know that Spring is fickle so I’m not yet willing to trust that it’s here to stay. For example, this was the weather on April 15, 2019–and we’ve had snow during April in other years as well.
Even when April is nice, we have a slight chance of frost into June. So I’m making myself wait until next month before I start working in my herb garden. I am tempted, though, to put the screens back in so I can open the windows on nice days. If I do that, we will get a snowstorm for sure.
Our two little chicks are growing. They are still little and downey, but every day they are a little bit bigger and a tiny less downey. Sometimes they chirp at bedtime and Hannah Joy gets upset so I have to shut the bathroom door and turn on the fan so she can’t hear them. I took this video of her a few days ago: Hannah and the Chicks.
EJ and his friend wanted to attend an event near us last weekend so EJ drove to his house–a 2 hour drive–in the car we had borrowed from him while our truck was being repaired. Then when he left for home the next day (he spent the night here), he just drove his car home. It was an easy way to get his car returned to him. Otherwise, EJ would have had to drive to his friend’s house in the truck while I followed in the car. I’ve endured enough “hellish drives” that I don’t look forward to long drives.
What is a hellish drive? One happened when we lived downstate. EJ was working 2nd shift in another town. I think it was 30-45 minutes away. He called me in the middle of the night to ask me to pick him up because his car was very low on gas and he didn’t think he could make it to a gas station. I don’t remember why he was low because we’ve always been very good at keeping the gas tank filled. I bundled baby JJ in the car and took off. Only my car was very low on gas too. EJ reassured me that I could stop at a gas station along the way. Imagining running out of gas on a cold winter night in the middle of nowhere, I prayed and prayed that I’d make it to the next gas station, but each gas station I reached was closed. Then there was a detour because of road repairs and I had to drive several miles out of my way. It was a horrible journey, but I made it to EJ (Thank you, God!), and we were able to drive to an open gas station and fill up our vehicles. This wasn’t the only hellish drive–and I don’t even think it was the worse–so I don’t look forward to long drives. It was a relief that I didn’t have to be involved in returning our friend’s car.
I have spent the last year reading through Terry Brooks’ fantasy series. I’ve never actually counted them, but I think there are around 30 in his series–some of which I own and others that I borrowed from our library. I like fantasy because they are about battles between good and evil, which makes them metaphors for life. I just finished all the Terry Brooks series and I began a series written by C.J. Sansom. I discovered this author last November when I bought four of his books at our library’s used book sale. The books are part of his seven-book series about a lawyer during the time of King Henry VIII. Sansom is a lawyer and historian and his interesting novels are filled with historical accuracy.
Although it’s not necessary to enjoy the novels, I looked up the historical people and events mentioned in the books to give me background context. I find that it deepens my enjoyment. Looking up a name mentioned in one of the books–Blaybourne–led me to information about an actual conspiracy, which led me to read about King Henry VIII’s wives, which led me to read about Tudor kings, which took me back to reading about Plantagenet kings…and I’m still not finished. When I finish with the Plantagenet line, I might go back in time to read about their ancestors–or maybe forward to post-Tudor history. And then there is history connected to other countries through marriage, policies, or war, including my own USA. I’m not completely ignorant about British history, but there are so many Henry’s, Richards, Edwards, etc., that it gets confusing after a while–especially when there were numerous relatives trying to seize the throne. I think that American leaders are simpler to keep track of. (Most of the English royalty was very messed up and corrupt, but I think many of our politicians are too.)
I enjoy reading well-written historical fiction and researching the background behind them. In school, history is always taught as a bunch of dry facts, but my Dad often took our family on vacations to historical places and my Mom taught me that history is the stories of the people who lived during those times. “Today’s events are tomorrow’s history.” Often in reading historical novels, I learn things I didn’t know before. I follow many historians at X/Twitter and just this week one of them posted that during the Middle Ages, 97% of English art was destroyed. This is something that C.J. Sansom vividly describes in his novels.
I’m thoroughly enjoying Sansom’s series. I will borrow the books in the series that I don’t own from the library–and then start on his other books.
The Most Dangerous Time Of Year
This is the most dangerous time of the year. Sometimes we can overcome the danger but yesterday the danger engulfed us and we succumbed to it.
The day started out innocuously. The sky was blue with white fluffy clouds lumbering across it. We had a quiet morning, drinking coffee as we chatted together. When the coffee pot was empty, we got in the truck and drove to our local library to pick up the book I had ordered. Michigan has an interlibrary loan system called “Melcat.” We can order a book from their website and a library within the state that has it will send it to our local library where we pick it up and later, after we’ve read it, we drop it off and the library sends it back to its origin. I’m currently reading through all the Terry Brooks series and the librarians know me and call me by name. I told EJ, “It’s better to have a library where everyone knows my name than a bar like in the television series, ‘Cheers.'” Whenever we go to the library, we always check the used books for sale on the cart in the hallway. We found one book to buy there yesterday.
We returned home and put bags of items to be recycled in the truck and drove to our county’s biggest town, which is small by most standards. We dropped off the recycling and then drove on to the auto parts store where EJ bought bulbs for the truck’s headlight, which had gone out. We had a nice chat with Kirk, who worked at the store and helped us find what we needed.
Then it was on to the farm store. I needed poultry feed and wild bird seed. EJ wanted to buy seeds for his garden.
Walking into the farm store is when our day turned dangerous. This is when we succumbed to weakness.
We walked into the store and heard chirping. It was Chick Days, the season when farm stores have stock tanks filled with various types and breeds of live chicks for sale. Chick Days began several weeks ago and whenever we went to the farm store, we enjoyed looking at the baby chickens, ducks, and turkeys without temptation. They are SO cute. If you’ve never gotten to a farm store during Chick Days, you are missing a treat. Anyway, on THIS day as we watched the tiny chicks we got to talking about how we’d like to have a breed of hen that is prone to going broody and is a good Mama. We want to raise our own chicks. We conversed with store staff about broody hens. But we left the store without any chicks.
Whew! We escaped. We totally escaped.
But the idea of a broody hen breed wormed itself into our minds. It was like the temptation Frodo Baggins faced with the One Ring. We talked about chickens all the way home. When we got home, I went to my computer to research which breed was broody AND winter hardy. For no reason. Just because I was interested. That’s all. I found two breeds and told EJ about them. He liked the Bielefelder breed, which somewhat resembled our New Hampshire and Rhode Island Red flock. I thought Buff Orpingtons also sounded good. EJ called the farm store to ask if they had any. For no reason. Just because he was interested. That’s all. They were out of the Bielefelders but had some Buff Orpingtons that they would hold for us to pick up. EJ decided to buy one but I suggested two because one by itself might get lonely. As the Good Book says, “Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?” (Eccl 4:11)
We drove back to the farm store. As an employee was putting our two in the box to take home, I really wanted to tell her to put in two more because of “chicken math.” Chicken math is when you walk into a store intending to buy a few chickens (or none at all) but walk out of the store with several more chickens, a few ducks, and a turkey or two. It was a terrible internal struggle. I sweated. I closed my eyes. I clenched my lips tightly together so no words would come out…and we walked out with only two chicks.
I put our new chicks in a cat carrier, which I placed in the large bathtub in our master bedroom until they grow big enough and the weather turns warm enough to put them in the coop. (We have a separate shower stall so putting the chicks in the large bathtub doesn’t prevent us from getting clean. LOL.)
This is why this is the most dangerous time of year for us.
We’ve only had New Hampshire and Rhode Island Red chickens, which are beautiful reddish birds. The roosters have teal-colored tail feathers. I really like my “Reds” but I’m also looking forward to having a new breed. In my brief research, I learned that Orpington chickens adore attention and are very gentle. They are very cold hardy so they do well in our Michigan winters. They’re wonderful egg layers and mothers and tend to go broody, which is what we want. They were originally bred in 1866 by William Cook. They are thought to be a cross between Minorcas, Langshans, and Plymouth Rocks. Cook intended his chickens to be a dual-purpose breed (for eggs and meat) but he also had a third goal: breeding a chicken that could be sold in London without looking dirty. The first Orpington breed was black to hide the soot and dirt of the city. A few years later, the Buff Orpington (America’s favorite) was introduced.
3 A.M.
This is EJ first week back on night shift. We don’t mind whatever shift he’s on–both have advantages and disadvantages. It just takes a little time to adjust to new schedules. For example, we’ve changed our biggest meal of the day to lunch instead of supper. I also have to adjust to EJ not being home in the evenings. Hannah Joy and I’ve been going to bed just after I get the chickens shut in the coop. They go into their coop at sunset, which right now is about 8 p.m. Hannah dozes next to me under the blankets while I read until EJ messages me during his lunch break at 10 p.m.
With medical expenses from EJ’s stroke last September and our truck recently needing expensive repairs, he has decided to work as much overtime as he can to pay off these and other bills. He would have worked more overtime before but he really didn’t feel all that great. But now says he feels better than he has in a long time.
We have a geo-thermal heating unit, which doesn’t use propane or electricity. It pulls heat and coolness from the ground. If the outside temperature is below 20, then it switches to using our auxiliary propane furnace. Last week the temperature was in the 30’s, but the auxiliary heat turned on. We normally have our thermostat set at 67 degrees. The indoor temperature dropped to 62 degrees even when I turned the thermostat up to 70. We feared that there was something wrong with our geothermal furnace so we called the repair man. The last thing we need is another expensive repair. However, the repair guy said everything checked out fine. It’s possible there was ice on the sensor so it thought it was colder outside than it actually was. Or something like that. I don’t pretend to understand such things. The main point is that there was no need for expensive repairs. We just had to pay for a maintenance call, which was overdue anyway.
The Great Lakes shipping season has started and our son has returned to work on his bulk carrier. This morning I got messages from him at 3 a.m.:
Hey mom, we hit something big, I was on bow watch, compartment below me flooded with about 30 feet of water, we’re stable, but kinda f’d.
Ships listing hard might be slowly sinking tug squad and a specialist squad on the way.
We are safe.
He’s given us updates throughout the day. Apparently, their new steering system failed so they couldn’t steer the ship. They hit a buoy and almost hit another ship. He says his ship is seriously damaged. All the marine traffic on the St. Mary’s River near Sault Ste. Marie, Michigan, is shut down. He doesn’t know for how long. Eventually tug boats are going to tow the ship to a port, but he doesn’t know which one.
Here’s a news article about it from the website SooToday: Accident Closes St Mary’s River
Working on ships is dangerous and 3 a.m. calls are usually not good news. However, I’m glad our son always quickly reassures us that he’s safe.
Pavlov’s Dog
Our weather is back to snow again. Oh, well. I don’t mind. Winter weather is normal for this time of year and the snow-covered landscape is very pretty.
We feed our Hannah Joy twice each day—once in the morning and once in the evening. I try to feed her at the same times in spite of going on/off Daylight Savings so Hannah doesn’t have a difficult adjustment when the clock changes again. However, sometimes I’ve messed up so THIS time after I calculated that what was once 7am/5pm is now 8am/6pm, I set my phone alarm to remind me. Thinking of Pavlov’s Dog, I set the alarm so it rings like a bell and then says “Hannah, are you hungry?” This morning when the bell started ringing, she started wagging her tail. It cracked me up.
I give cracked corn to our chickens in the colder months because it raises their body heat as they digest it and helps keep them warm. Our alpha roosters have always driven away the beta rooster(s) from their daily treats of cracked corn. I feel sorry for the beta roosters so I’ve always given them some corn in a private place. Despite the fact that Edward the Third is not always nice, I’ve been sprinkling a bit of corn for him so he isn’t deprived. The other day HE BIT ME AGAIN as I was pouring out his corn on a strawbale. In disgust, I called him Edward the Turd. When he behaves himself, I call him Edward the Third but when he doesn’t he is Edward the Turd. He needs to learn manners. I think the other chickens agree. Even the hens scold him.
Recently a red-tailed hawk flew low across our yard. It was so close that I could clearly see his red tail feathers as I looked out the window. I would be concerned about predator birds attacking our chickens, but crows actually drive away predators so our chickens have never been harmed. This is one reason I like crows.
For the past week I’ve been noticing that a little mourning dove lingers at the birdfeeders as the sky darkens into evening. She’s out long after all the other wild birds have settled down for the night. When I see her, I say, “Och! You are out too late! The owls and other nighttime predators will be waking up! Fly away home, little bird.” EJ tells me she’s got it handled and “You aren’t her mother.” I say that maybe she needs someone to mother her! I’ve developed a fondness for her and I don’t want to see her get snatched.
EJ’s company has a big job to do so they are restarting a night shift and moving him back to it starting next week. EJ says he will probably be on the shift until autumn. Changing shifts always requires a shift in our schedule. For example, I have to fix our main meal at mid-day instead of in the evening, our sleeping schedule changes, and things like that, but we adjust. There are advantages and disadvantages to each schedule.
A Secret World
Our son, JJ, works on a Great Lakes bulk carrier. The shipping season ended in mid-January but willl resume in the next week or two so he’ll be back on the ship. Our son’s car needs expensive repairs, but he’s thinking of buying a new (used) vehicle after he gets back to work. Meanwhile, he has food from the grocery store delivered to his home and uses Uber if he needs to get around. Sometimes we chauffer him if Uber can’t take him or if he has a lot of stops to make—as he did this Tuesday. While we were running his errands,I told him about our youngest rooster, Edward III, demonstrating how he pecked me (quick pokes) and bit (pinching my skin in his beak and holding on). Our son said, “He sounds like a turd!” and then he and his Dad renamed him “Edward the Turd.” Ha ha. Actually, I think Edward the THIRD will settle down nicely. He hasn’t bitten me in quite a while and rarely pecks.
I found one of our roosters dead in the coop last week so now we are down to two. I’m not sure which of the older two roosters died because they look identical. There was no sign of violence. I’m hoping it was Sassy. He was an excellent rooster, but he was also the oldest and likely would have died of old age soon. Corey is only a couple years old and I’d hate for him to die young.
In Michigan, when robins appear we know that Spring is near. A few days ago, I suddenly saw FIVE robins. I also saw Canadian geese flying north above me. They are also a sign of Spring’s return. Yay! I like winter but…every season has something to anticipate. Early Wednesday afternoon a coyote crossed the road in front of us as we were driving home from the library. It was not far from our property. Coyotes aren’t actually a sign of Spring but since they are more frequently seen and heard during their mating season, which is now, I guess seeing one could be considered an indirect indication of Spring.
I like the current location of my trail cam and will probably keep it there for a while. In this location, I capture neither too many photos/videos (which drains the batteries) nor too few so I see a variety of animals coming and going. Every morning I trade SD cards—taking the old one from the cam and putting in a fresh one—and I watch the cam footage from the day before. I save my favorites on my Rumble channel. I feel as if I am observing a secret world that exists parallel to mine. So much life happens outside our windows that we have been unaware of. The other night the cam captured our voices as we took Hannah outside just before we headed to bed. None of us—except the cam—were aware of the deer that were calmly watching us in the darkness not far away.
I like seeing the eyes of the wildlife glowing like headlights as they approach the cam. I always try to guess what animal it is before it is near enough to identify it. The other night, I caught the following on the cam. If you turn up the sound, you can hear the deer grunting and the spooky howls of the coyotes in the distance.
Today I moved one of the birdhouses to a location where a hill comes to a point. There are two other birdhouses on the ridge. I tried to space them far enough from each other to prevent any territorial battles. I put the birdhouse still attached to its wooden post on my green garden cart along with the posthole digger. Then I pulled the cart down the driveway and up the hill. I dug the hole and set up the post.
EJ is an awesome storyteller. People who hear him tell his stories always want more–including me. Usually he tells his stories verbally but he has contemplated writing them down for quite some time. Several weeks ago I helped him set up a blog but he’s sort of at a loss for where to start. If you would like to encourage him, you can comment here at his blog: Just A Few Simple Stories.
Edward III
Yesterday our weather was sunny with temperatures reaching the high 60s. We were outside without a coat and the snow melted. Over night the weather changed and we got just about every type of weather imaginable: rain, thunderstorm, freezing rain, sleet, snow, and high winds. I heard thunder in the night but was so tired that I groaned and went back to sleep. Ej said he looked out the window with barely opened eyes and saw spectacular lightning, like a grand finale fireworks display, before he too went back to sleep. According to the forecast, we could get around 6 inches of snow through tonight. That’s Michigan for ya.
With the weather so nice yesterday, we ran all our errands so we could comfortably hunker down and watch the falling snow today.
Our first errand yesterday was to the library. Michigan has a program called “MelCat,” which allows us to borrow books from any library in our state. Once we place an order on their website, they contact a library that has the book and it sends the book to our local library where we can pick it up–and return it when we are finished. It’s very handy. While we were at the library picking up the book I had ordered, we had a very enjoyable time chatting with the two librarians. Our conversations ranged from the weather, our dogs, the wildlife we see, the importance and enjoyment of reading, to childhood memories, to the highest points in the counties in the region. It was fun.
The repair shop informed us that our truck was ready so we picked it up on the way home from getting our taxes done. EJ had originally planned to do our taxes himself, but it’s such a stressful chore that we decided to have them professionally done just to get it over with. It’s a relief to have the truck fixed and the taxes done.
This is a video I took this morning of the wildlife outside the window. Goldfinches and pine siskins are in the bird feeder and deer and crows in the background. I thought it was interesting to see the crows walking fearlessly among the deer. Currently, it is snowing (and blowing) much harder than it was in the video. Everything in the background has now been hidden by falling snow. It looks like the world ends just beyond our hill.
One day last week I was walking Hannah Joy down the driveway to get our mail when I heard yipping from two different directions. It wasn’t the full coyote banshee yowling that I had heard a couple weeks ago, but it was still rather unsettling. I continued walking Hannah for a bit more, but the yips were close enough that I decided to turn around. I really didn’t want to encounter any coyotes on my walk. The next day when I checked the trail cam, I saw that a coyote had crossed our property shortly before we took our walk. From tracks I’ve seen in snow or sand over the years, I’m aware that many animals keep just out of sight of the house. However, it surprised me to see that the coyote was active in the middle of the day. A couple days later, we heard a coyote howl just outside our window. The cry of coyotes is a very eerie sound that makes me think of scary things that go bump in the night. The coyote can be seen running up the hill at the beginning of my trail cam video. (FYI: the temperature in the info strip at the bottom of the cam video is usually wrong. It was actually in the 30s, not the 70s.)
I have decided to call our young rooster “Edward III.” The name sounds very uppity to me and the rooster was acting very uppity for a while, pecking me to try to establish that he outranked me. Also, he is our third rooster; hence the III after his name. To be honest, he has settled down since I set boundaries to let him know of his lower status, but “Edward the Third” seems to fit him nontheless.
Critters
We’ve been getting nice weather with highs in the 40s which melts all the snow. Then we get several inches of new snow. Then it repeats. For the last few days, we have been in the “warm temperatures that melts our snow” phase. Today the temperature has actually reached 50 degrees. Tonight the temperatures will drop and we could get snow, but they will rise again into the high 40s on Sunday. When my son was little, I used to tell him that Spring was when Winter and Summer battled for control. LOL
There is a way to determine whether a chick is male or female because they look alike until they get older. Experts know how, but even they get it wrong sometimes. Most of the time we’ve bought our chickens–either at a farm store or ordered on-line. We always choose all females but most of the time we discover that one of them is a male. Last September, for the first time, one of our hens hatched two eggs. Recently, I realized that one is a male–he developed the beautiful rooster tail feathers. I think he is the aggressive one who pecks me when my back is turned. He once bit me, grabbing the skin of my leg and holding on. He left a small bruise on my leg. Little brat.
I learned that chickens become aggressive when they think they are higher in rank than the human. I won’t stand for that so I treat aggressive youngsters the way I see the other chickens treat them: I push them around a bit. Not cruelly but just enough to let them know I am boss and they need to respect me. I have a long thin stick–not a branch–that’s probably about 1 inch x 1 inch. It’s a leftover piece from when EJ made large shipping boxes at his previous company. I use it like a staff to poke, poke the chicken. I do that a few times and a sassy chicken usually calms right down and behaves itself from that point on. I’m sure this little rooster will learn that I’m boss soon. He hasn’t tried to peck me in several days.
This little rooster is our third rooster. We have Sassy, our alpha rooster, who was sassy only when he was little. He takes good care of the flock. There is Corey, who is very sweet natured. Now there is this youngster. I will have to figure out a name for him. Do you have any suggestions? If so, share it in a comment.
I have been enjoying my trail camera. It’s a delight to watch the wildlife when they don’t know I’m observing them. I told EJ that my favorite television series is TJ’s Critter Cam, which is my Rumble channel. I go through all the videos and then choose a few to upload to my channel. My favorite video was the deer that came very close to investigate the camera. In the video, it looks as if a bright light is shining in the deer’s face, but she actually wasn’t blinded by any light. My camera has infrared so it can take nighttime photos/videos. The wildlife doesn’t actually see the light. Here’s the video:
For a week or so, I had the cam aimed at our large boulders where the animals tended to graze. However, the animals stayed in front of the camera and the camera was taking 600+ photos/videos each night which depleted my batteries. (I set the cam to take one photo and one video each time there is movement so that’s 300+ of each.) That got tiresome so I began moving the cam around each day in order to capture the animals moving through an area. I now get more manageable numbers of photos/videos and my batteries don’t need to be recharged every day.
Yesterday EJ and I put the trail camera in the forest, but I didn’t find anything on the camera this morning except photos/videos of me moving the camera. This morning I moved the camera once again. It was very foggy outside and it was fun tramping all over our property trying to find a new location for the camera. Although I live surrounded by trees, it’s difficult to find the “perfect” location. The tree has to be in a place that the animals travel through. I need a tree that is big enough—but not too big—to fasten the camera strap around. The tree I choose can’t be blocked by other trees or branches because the camera won’t have a good view or trees swaying in the wind will activate the camera. Frequently, I find a location that has some of the characteristics I need, but not all of them. I finally found a location. I will check tomorrow morning to see if I’ve captured any wildlife.
So far I’ve captured birds, raccoons, possums, deer, and a mouse or two with the cam. I’d love to also get photos/videos of wild turkeys, skunks, coyotes, bobcats, and maybe an owl or a bear. I’m excited about Spring, when the wildlife give birth. It would be awesome to see little babies on camera.
Hobbit Seasons
After days of early Spring-like weather, we have returned to winter. Last I heard, we could get about 7 inches of snow. In my opinion, Michigan seasons are much like Hobbit meals: Instead of first and second breakfasts, we have first, second, and sometimes third winters, several springs, a couple summers, and a few autumns.
I was kind of halfway (but unrealistically) hoping that spring-like weather would continue because the little car we are borrowing from a friend doesn’t have 4-wheel drive and can’t make it up the driveway in the snow. Later I will walk down to the bottom of the driveway to shovel a place for EJ to turn around and park when he arrives home from work. He will park it there and walk to/from the house each day as long as necessary. The truck would make it up the driveway with no trouble, but it’s stll in the repair shop. We were told that it will likely be finished next week sometime. Repairs are costing more than estimated, which doesn’t surprise me. Sigh. We keep “tightening our belt,” trying to be more frugal, wondering how we can afford yet another expensive difficulty, but somehow—thanks to God—we always do. In better times, we’d just buy another used vehicle rather than put more money into this one, but used vehicles have gone waaaay up in price and we’d pay at least as much for a worse vehicle so….[Shrug]. At least we are familiar with our truck’s problems and are getting them fixed. By the time the truck is repaired, it will pretty much have all-new innards in an aging body.
After seeing the coyotes run through our yard the other day, which I described in my last post, I looked up information about coyotes in Michigan. I was surprised to learn that coyotes are the #1 predator in Michigan. I also learned that people can frequently see and hear coyotes during their mating season, which is from mid-January to mid-March. The animals ran so fast that I wasn’t sure if I saw two coyotes or one chasing a deer but I now believe that I was likely witnessing a male coyote in hot pursuit of a female.
Yesterday was the second of EJ’s two mid-week days off. In the late morning, we went out the door to take Hannah Joy for a walk and noticed a very large bird in the “crow tree.” (That is what we named the tree that the crows like to perch in.) The bird made very strange calls. It flew off and joined another as they slowly circled down out of sight. They were backlit so we could only see their silhouettes but EJ said, “They are bald eagles!” I wasn’t certain because I couldn’t see any white head and tail–and EJ couldn’t either but we couldn’t figure out what it could be. A hawk of some sort? I said, “Maybe they are golden eagles???” When we got back, EJ looked up “golden eagles” on the internet, and, sure enough, the audio of their call was the same as what we had heard. Cool! It’s the first golden eagle that we’ve ever seen!!!! I hope they come back and sit on the rocks in front of the trail cam!
I’m really enjoying the trail cam. It’s interesting to be able to observe animals up close that I would never see without the cam. I have the cam set to take one photo and one video each time it’s activated. It takes many photos/videos each day. Every day or two, I transfer them to my computer and look through them. I select a few favorite photos to save and I upload a few of the videos to my Rumble channel. You can see them here: TJ’s Critter Cam
At first, I mostly saw crows during the day and an opossum or two at night but a couple days ago I checked the trail cam and found deer on it. Since then, the deer have been coming by regularly. There are at least two deer–and sometimes more. This morning I looked out the window and saw seven deer! I haven’t checked the cam since yesterday afternoon, but I can’t wait to see what it has captured. I took a photo of them through the window with my phone. If you look closely, you can see the cam strapped to the wooden post at the right.
During the night of February 13, a raccoon was captured on the trail cam. Raccoons (I learned) are not true hibernators. They hibernate—sometimes for weeks at a time—only if the temps drop below 15 degrees. The opossum was not happy to find the raccoon eating leftover birdseed at his rock table that night. He tried to join the raccoon but then decided to return later. When the raccoon finally left, I noticed that he was holding up his paw and limping. I wonder what his story is?
I’ve been working on redesigning and updating a couple blogs that I had set aside years ago. I probably would have completely forgotten and discarded them, but I get notified every week that a few people are still reading them so I figured it might be a good to restart them. Each of my blogs has a different purpose. This one is about my daily life. My Most Favorite Things is my database of favorite quotes. I’m restarting “I Love To Go A Wondering, on which I share good/interesting photos, videos, and sites. I just learned that I can have multiple channels under one account at Rumble so I divided the videos into two channels: One has my general videos, many of which I share here. The other is of my trail cam videos. I’m working on updating/restarting another blog, but I haven’t yet decided whether to continue with that one. I’m creating a page that links to these blogs and channels. You can find it on my home page or by clicking HERE.
Originally I uploaded all my videos to YouTube and I had many from throughout the years. However, when Rumble was created, I switched to uploading there. Since I don’t have as many videos at Rumble yet, I decided to include a link to my YouTube videos on my list. However, I just discovered that YouTube had “disappeared” all but two of my videos. I was dismayed and appalled–the FIENDS!–but then I shrugged philosophically. Videos are probably much like old photographs. They are important at the time, but they eventually end up in boxes at auctions where they are nameless people that no one remembers. Some things are only important to the people who acquired them.
Banshee Wails
We have had several relatively warm days so our snow is almost all gone–which is good because the car we are borrowing from our friend doesn’t have 4-wheel drive and couldn’t make it up the driveway in the snow. The car got stuck the first time EJ drove it home and for several days afterward EJ had to park it at the bottom of the driveway and walk to/from it. We noticed that several of our neighbors were also parking at the bottom of their driveways.
Last week we talked to the people at the auto shop about our truck problems and asked for an estimate of how much it might cost to get it repaired. They estimated it might cost around $5,000. Yikes. EJ and I have spent the last few days discussing our options, which aren’t many. I can’t remember the exact year of the truck, but it’s approaching 20 years old. In many ways, it’s not worth the expense of repairing it, but used vehicles are so expensive right now that we could easily spend $5,000 and get a vehicle with more problems than the one we have. So we are probably going to have to get it fixed. Sigh.
I’ve been moving our trail camera around, trying to find a good location for it. I define “a good location” as a place where there’s a good chance I’ll capture wildlife. A few days ago I finally decided to place it where it focuses on the large boulders in the foreground, which are surrounded by apple trees, and the driveway and forest in the background. I’ve been making slight adjustments in the height and angle in an attempt to catch any wildlife on either the rock or the ground. I’ve been changing the settings for the length of the videos so they are long enough but not too long.
Deer often come through this area. In fact, I saw a deer headed that way this morning when I took Hannah outside, but we spooked it and it ran off. Bummer. So far I haven’t gotten any deer, but I have gotten two opossums, an opossum and a mouse, and a crow, who flew away with an egg I had left for it. I’m still trying to make friends with the crow nation so I occasionally put a dirty or thin-shelled egg out on the rocks for them. I’m having fun with the trail cam.
Yesterday morning I was looking out the window and saw two animals running full speed through the yard. At first, I thought they were deer but then I noticed that the second animal had a scruffy, feral face. You know how you see something that you don’t expect to see and for a moment you feel confused? The animal had long legs and a face so feral that it reminded me of a dingo or hyena. I thought in brief confusion, “What is a dingo/hyena doing in Michigan?” before I realized it must be a coyote. Because EJ has traveled to or from work in the early mornings, depending on the shift he worked, he has seen numerous coyotes over the years. However, I’ve never seen a coyote this close. The only other time I saw a coyote it was quite far away within the forest. I don’t know if the first animal I saw yesterday was also a coyote or a deer that the coyote was chasing. They were running so fast that by the time I realized they weren’t deer, they were already passing by.
The animals ran near the boulders where my trail cam is located and I was hoping it would capture them so I could study what I had seen–and show EJ. I waited a few minutes and then went outside to see what the camera had caught. I have to be quite close to the trail cam to activate its app on my phone. As soon as I stepped out the door, I heard coyotes yipping in the ravine which dips down just inside the forest. I couldn’t see the coyotes, but I captured their wails with my phone camera. Coyotes sound really spine-chillingly spooky–like the wail of banshees.
I returned to the house and waited for a while longer before I went back out to check my cam for photos/videos. Turns out it had completely missed all the drama. Bummer!
Meanwhile, there was Theo, our outside cat, who is very lovable but also a bit of a dunderhead. As soon as the two animals ran passed, he ran out onto the rocks and peered after them! Apparently, he’s never heard that “curiosity killed the cat.” Of course, as I walked toward the ravine where the predatory coyotes wailed, I did think about those movies in which someone hears a strange noise and walks toward it to investigate, not suspecting–as we the audience do–that a killer, monster, or alien is lurking in the shadows to ambush them. Maybe I am just as much a curious dunderhead as Theo. Maybe we can’t help being drawn toward strange noises.
I caught Theo and put him in the garage. I didn’t shut the pet door that exits into the fenced-in garden because I thought he’d be smart enough to stay in where it was safe. I should have known better. I looked out the window and saw him running toward the ravine. When I stepped outside and heard the coyotes yipping, I was afraid they had gotten Theo. I started to call for him, but then decided to go through the garage and into the garden so if he responded to my call, he’d be running into a safe enclosure. However, when I opened the garage door, he was already inside so I shut the pet door and kept him in the garage for several hours–until I figured the coyotes were long gone. I’ve only ever heard coyotes at night–and not very often–which is why we lock all the outside animals safely in the coop in the evenings. Having a coyote run through the yard in the daytime is a very odd occurrence.
I just discovered that I can create several different channels at my Rumble account so I’m working on creating two: One for trail camera videos and the other for everything else. I will post links if I get it set up.
Fowl Weather
We had a winter storm with high winds and heavy snow a couple weeks ago. Then the weather turned quite cold with temperatures in the single digits. My hands ached with the cold whenever I went outside. The weather is beginning to warm up again and we are expecting rain for the next few days.
Every year throughout my life, we’ve always had a thaw in January–officially called The January Thaw. When I was a child, the thaw would turn the melted snow into a small pond in our side yard. The pond would refreeze into an icy rink and we’d go “skating” on it. We didn’t have skates; we just slid around in our boots and pretended they were skates. I don’t exactly look forward to The January Thaw these days because when the melted snow refreezes, it makes our driveway as icy as a luge track. In 2018, I fell on the icy driveway while walking down to get the mail and broke my wrist. The break was bad enough that I had to get a metal plate put in. So January Thaws tend to be rather treacherous. Honestly, I would rather just have cold and snow until winter’s end. Snow is easier to deal with than ice.
The chickens don’t like the snow and cold. Perhaps it’s because chickens were originally wild jungle fowl that are believed to have originated in southeast Asia about 8,000 years ago. Of course, they have been bred into many different breeds over the centuries but, still, maybe they never lost their jungle sensitivities. My chickens have stayed in their coop since the winter storm hit and are only just now leaving it during the day.
I jokingly declare that my chickens are my fowl weather forecasters. Well, not exactly forecasters. More like indicators. I can look out the window and determine how bad the weather is by how many chickens are wandering around outside. The fewer the chickens I see, the worse the weather. The more chickens there are, the nicer the weather. I didn’t see any chickens out this morning but most of them are out this afternoon so I know the temperature is warmer. They are staying on the path of packed snow I made when going to and from the coop rather than venturing into the deeper snow.
I’ve been playing around with my trail cam, putting it in different places to try to find the best location for it. EJ, my deer expert, tells me that when the weather is bad, the deer tend to stay put. So they haven’t wandered through our property enough to get captured by the camera. A deer did come by early this morning, but I didn’t get a good photo because branches blocked the cam. So I moved the cam again. Actually, I will have to wait until after winter to try one of the locations that I would prefer. I wouldn’t mind putting it on a post in the flower garden so it captures critters that come nearer the house. However, I have to wait until the ground thaws to dig a hole. Another alternative is putting the cam near where I always see a lot of animal tracks (mostly deer) but I have to be careful that they don’t get hit by a stream of snow when our neighbor comes to snowblow our driveway. Also, while I learn how to use the camera, I’d like the camera to be close enough that I can activate it from inside the house with my phone. I have to be within about a 45-foot range to connect. It’s been too cold to stand outside while I activate the cam.
On EJ’s way to work on Sunday morning, our truck died and he had to get it towed home. Since we currently only have one vehicle, this was a bit of a problem. Hopefully, repairs won’t cost TOO MUCH or be serious enough that we need a new (used) vehicle since we have meager savings–but God says He will supply all our needs and He has taken care of us many times in the past. EJ wasn’t able to make it to work on Sunday, but a co-worker provided transportation to and from work on Monday. A friend is lending us one of his vehicles until we get the truck fixed. EJ has today and tomorrow off (his regular days off) so his friend drove his car here today–a two-hour trip–and then EJ drove him back to his house. EJ is now on his way home again.
Snow Cam
I tracked JJ’s ship on January 12th as it moved up the river to Lake Huron, concerned that they were going to travel tthrough the storm’s strong winds and high waves. However, they anchored soon after they reached Lake Huron. Whew. They continued on their way the next day when most of the storm had passed.
Meanwhile, we were expecting the storm to bring us heavy snow and high winds to our area. We woke up the next morning and found only a few inches of snow. I thought, “Wow, if I were paying for this storm, I’d want my money back!” But it snowed and snowed all that day, and snow yesterday as well. Yesterday morning I took a yardstick outside and measured about 13 inches of snow. I don’t know how many inches of snow we got after that, but I’d guess we ended up with a total of about 15 inches of snow. The snow is deep enough that it is higher than my boots.
The snow isn’t a major problem because the snow plows clear the roads quite quickly. The greater problem is the wind which could have damaged trees and caused power outages. The wind was strong enough that it whipped up the snow into clouds and snow-nadoes. However, we never lost our power–not even a flicker–for which I’m grateful because the temperatures have become quite cold. They are in the low teens during the day and near zero at night. Brrrr. Still, we live in the North where it gets snowy and cold in the winter so we are prepared for winter weather but it’s always nice when we don’t lose our power.
Today our neighbor snowblowed our driveway with his big tractor. He’s been taking care of our driveway for several years. It’s such a blessing. It would take us at least 2 hours to snow blow our driveway with our little walk-behind snowblower. He can clear it within 15-20 minutes with his tractor AND he doesn’t accept any payment.
Last week–or maybe the week before that–we smelled a horrible smell at a certain area when we walked down the driveway. It lingered for days. We tried to guess what could have caused it. I guessed that maybe a skunk had gotten scared and blasted the area. EJ guessed that it could be a bear. Until this last storm, the weather has been warm enough that maybe they didn’t go into hibernation–and bears stink, he said. We really don’t know, but as I walked Hannah Joy down the driveway one day, I thought, “What if the smell is lingering because there is a bear regularly traveling through our property? What would I do if I encountered a bear?” I’ve read that bears tend to be shy and run from humans….but still.
We’ve been wanting to get a trail cam for quite some time. EJ has wanted one for security. I have wanted one to see what wildlife is wandering through our property–like bears. I researched trail cams on the internet. There’s a plethora of different features to consider and I had to look up what some of these features meant. I finally found a camera on sale for not much money that seemed to have decent features. I It has a decent camera with infrared for night viewing, the range and trigger speed seem adequate, it takes photos and video, we can connect the camera to my phone through wifi/bluetooth, it is password protected, and we can program the hours we want it to operate. I ordered it and it arrived just before the snowstorm. I spent a few days trying to learn the features of the camera and I studied our terrain to decide where to put it. I finally got it up this morning. My hands got so cold that they hurt, making it awkward to strap the camera in place. I’ll leave it there for a day or so to see if it captures anything. I plan to move it around until I find the perfect spot but I’ll probably wait until the weather is nicer. It’s too cold to be tramping around in deep snow.
If the camera takes an interesting photo or video, I will share it with you.
Storm Watch
We have had a mild winter with very little snow, most of which melted not long after it fell. However, apparently that is about to end. Meteorologists are issuing Storm and/or Blizzard Warnings beginning sometime today and lasting until Saturday evening.
I’m not sure how much snow we will get. We seem to be on a border of either getting 9-13 inches of snow or 18 inches. We will also likely get lake-effect snow. Unlike snow that comes in with a storm system, Lake-effect snow is produced during cooler atmospheric conditions when a cold air mass moves across long expanses of warmer lake water. The lower layer of air, heated by the lake water, picks up water vapor from the lake and rises through colder air. The vapor then freezes and is deposited on the leeward (downwind) shores. (Wikipedia)
The snow isn’t a horrible problem because we live in the North where we get snow every winter so the counties have good snow plows. The wind is the greater hazard. We could get strong winds gusting as high as 55 mph, which can blow the snow around and reduce visibility. That is particularly dangerous for motorists. The strong wind can also blow down trees and cause power outages.
EJ has tomorrow off. Once he gets home, we will just hunker down together. We have a propane heater so we will stay warm if we lose power. I’m making a big pot of chili.
My greatest concern is for our son, who is currently on his Great Lakes bulk carrier traveling from Lake Erie, through Lakes Huron and Michigan to Chicago. Several crew members on the ship are sick, including him. He’s stuck in his room on the ship feeling pretty miserable, he says. That’s bad enough, but there are Gale Warnings out for the Lakes until about Sunday morning (depending on the lake). The forecasted conditions for Erie and Michigan are similar, projecting winds to be 35 to 45 knots with gusts up to 55 knots and waves 13 to 18 feet. In northern Lake Huron the forecast is for sustained winds up to 41 knots with gusts up to 52 knots. The largest significant waves will be 22 feet with a potential maximum wave height of 32 feet. That’s a nasty storm that can damage ships or cause them to capsize. JJ says that the largest waves he has ever experienced were about 8-9 feet.
Fortunately, JJ’s ship won’t be traveling through Lake Superior, where forecasts say heavy freezing spray at a rate of 2 cm (.78 inches) per hour or greater is expected, and may rapidly accumulate on vessels, which is extremely hazardous. Freezing spray can cause mechanical and electronic components to become inoperative. Rapid ice formation on decks and superstructures can result in a catastrophic loss of stability.
I track ships using a marine traffic app. It appears that most ships are going to safe ports, but JJ’s ship is apparently determined to continue its course through the storm. I’ll continue to track his ship, watch for his ship to pass by YouTube live stream cams, and pray for his and his ship’s safety. There are a lot of people praying as well.
Here is a map of storm warnings for the Great Lakes area.
Within The Silent Chambers
“Some of the greatest battles will be fought within the silent chambers of your own soul.”
~ Unknown
It seems as if these days, especially in the last few years, we’ve heard a lot about people being emotionally “triggered.” I’m not a psychologist, but I’ve been thinking about this and have decided to write about what I believe triggering is, isn’t, and how to deal with it.
Basically, a trigger is something that elicits a strong memory. ANYTHING can trigger a memory–situations, places, things, smells, songs, phrases, sounds, motions, movies, holidays, foods, and the list goes on.
Everyone has memories triggered every day. Some things can trigger nice memories: The smell of baking bread can trigger a memory of Grandma baking bread. Seeing fireflies can trigger childhood memories of chasing them on summer evenings. Holding a newborn child can trigger memories of holding your own newborn. Some things can trigger negative memories that make you cringe, wince, sad, or feel regret. Everyone’s triggers can be different and something that triggers a good memory for one person can trigger an unpleasant memory for someone else.
Usually when people talk of “being triggered,” they are referring to something triggering memories of a terrifying event, causing flashbacks, nightmares, depression, and/or severe anxiety. Most people think of this in relation to veterans with PTSD. EJ once worked with a veteran who went right from war to working in their noisy factory. The veteran dropped to the floor every time there was a loud bang. In war, dropping to the ground could have saved his life. In the factory, there was no real threat so dropping to the floor was unnecessary, but the loud noises triggered an intense memory that caused his body to react. Triggers are different from true threats. Non-threatening situations can trigger a traumatic memory that causes an autonomic, involuntary, fight-or-flight response. The veteran EJ worked with started wearing a helmet to work, no doubt hoping it would make him feel safe. However, he soon quit because the PTSD was too intense for him to handle at the time.
Soldiers are not the only ones who suffer from PTSD. Victims of abuse, crime, or terrorism, people who were involved in severe accidents, and many others can suffer from it. Our veteran nephew once quoted that “PTSD is a normal response to an abnormal situation.”
Some people are genuinely triggered by trauma but it seems as if EVERYONE these days claims to be a triggered victim. It’s gone to such ridiculous levels that they have meltdowns if someone uses a word they don’t like, or has a different belief, or eats different food, or their school has a mascot they don’t like…It’s gotten to the point where a person can’t even breathe without someone being “triggered.” People who falsely claim to be triggered hurt those who genuinely are because others get so tired of hearing them that they stop listening to people who really are victims. It seems to me that false victims are much like toddlers who throw a tantrum in a store because Mommy didn’t give them what they wanted. Trauma reactions and tantrums are not the same thing. But I also ponder whether some people might emotionally fall apart because society has enabled and taught them that they need to be provided “safe places”–so they never learned how to handle disappointments, failure, pain, and hardship. Rather than take responsibility for their own growth, they expect everyone else to.
I believe that we can–and ought–to be compassionate, understanding, and supportive of people who suffer from the effects of trauma. However, I also believe that each individual is responsible for fighting for his/her own recovery, healing, and growth. No one can do it for us. For example, the veteran I mentioned above was genuinely suffering from PTSD. Others could/should give him support and help. However, it would be wrong for him to demand that the whole world become quiet for his benefit–all factories be quiet, people tiptoe around him to avoid ever making any noises, and no one ever allowed to celebrate with fireworks because they trigger him. People have to learn to regain their own life, not demand that others stop living theirs.
The same applies to victims of other traumas as well. I have fiercely fought “battles within the silent chambers of my own soul” to overcome abuse. My personal battle involved breaking free from those who tried to press me into being who they wanted me to be and who rejected me when I resisted. I get triggered by messages of guilt, accusations, blame, manipulation, lies, and control because those were the tactics used against me. Those previous two sentences do not convey the hard battles I’ve fought to be my own self and not let my own identity get overwritten and destroyed. I believe that my triggers reveal areas of my life that I need to strengthen. At times I’ve shared some of my struggles with others; other times I’ve struggled silently. I don’t expect anyone to fight this battle for me. They can help but it’s MY battle to fight. Only I can free myself. Only I can stand firm in who I was created to be. I see progress in myself; I am aware that I have more work to be done. I’ve learned a lot along the way and my experiences have shaped and strengthened me in unexpected ways. I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t gone through what I did.
I care deeply for hurting people who are fighting their own battles. I understand that most people are imperfect with flaws and foibles. They have wounds and traumas that are sometimes triggered and cause them to have meltdowns. I know that even the most loving person is going to occasionally have bad days, do something insensitive or hurtful, misunderstand, or violate another’s boundaries. I try to allow others the freedom to not be perfect. At the same time, I resist any attempt to be caged by others’ expectations and control. I try to maintain a balance between the boundaries of them and me. Allowing others to enjoy their own identities shouldn’t mean that I must lose mine.
I think there is a difference between trying not to hurt others and allowing them to remake us into what they want us to be. There are sacrifices we can make for others and those we must not make. For example, I’ve had a friend who is very afraid of all kinds of birds. Out of love for her, I wouldn’t drag her out to see my chickens. However, I also wouldn’t deprive myself of having chickens because of her fear. If I invited a vegetarian to dinner, I’d try to serve him a vegetarian meal. However, I wouldn’t become a vegetarian myself to please him. Likewise, I don’t think that I should have to change my sense of humor, change how I express myself, change what I write on my blog, or share only things they approve of on my social media pages to make them feel happy. If I fundamentally change myself to please others, I lose my own identity.
I think it would be very easy for wounded people who want to never be wounded again to start to demand that others be perfect for them, that others be responsible for providing safety for them. That’s a trap that I try very hard not to fall into. If we expect someone to never fail us, to always be perfect, we are actually expecting them to be like God, who never fails and is always faithful. No human can be that. If we expect others to be what we want them to be, to meet our approval, we are actually attempting to remake them into our own image, to overwrite their identity with our own. Essentially, we are attempting to be a god in their lives. We can’t demand others give up their freedom to be themselves and live their own lives so that the world feels safe for us. This is wrong. This prevents us from overcoming, from growing, from becoming strong. We can’t expect to get stronger if we demand others lift weights for us.
I don’t get angry or offended very often. Most of the time I don’t feel the need to confront others because I understand that people are imperfect and they don’t usually intend to hurt. Many times I don’t even mention that they said something that I struggled with because I believed it was unintentional or something they were free to say. But sometimes behaviors are hurtful enough that they must be confronted so they don’t erode the relationship. Although not pleasant, I think a person should be able to tell me if I’ve done/said something that hurt them. Doing so does two things: 1. If I have genuinely done/said something wrong, it allows me to apologize and change. 2. If they misunderstood my words/actions, it gives me the chance to defend and explain myself. The reverse is true too: If I can approach another person about the way he hurt me, I allow him to either make it right or correct my misunderstanding. In each case, the hurts are addressed and the relationship can be restored. If we are prevented from confronting issues, they are not resolved, and they can grow into a barrier that can’t be broken down.
My sister (as I’ve written before) was extremely critical of me and occasionally she would verbally rip into me about everything she disliked about me until I felt emotionally battered. Then she would say, “There! Now that we have discussed this, let’s never bring it up again.” Only she had never let me say a word. I forgave and endured this for many years until finally one day I said, “No, WE haven’t discussed this, YOU have. If WE don’t BOTH have an opportunity to speak, our relationship will be ruined–and I love you too much to let that happen. You need to let ME speak too.” She was offended and eventually our friendship fell apart as I predicted. Although I really wanted to be friends with her and tried really hard to be, I don’t honestly think we ever had a good relationship.
I learned from my experiences with my sister. In my opinion, at least three things must exist for a relationship to be healthy and strong: One is to not constantly criticize and condemn the other. Constant criticism is an attempt to control others. The second is to give each other freedom to be our own selves. A relationship must breathe. Finally, there must be reciprocity in a relationship. If one person can criticize/confront and the other can’t, if one can speak and the other can’t, if one is expected to change him/herself for the other, it’s not a relationship of equals. It is one of master and slave. No matter how much I love someone, that’s not the type of relationship I want or can endure. I still allow others to confront me if they think I’ve done something wrong or hurtful, but I also insist on the opportunity to confront them. If they hurt me, I will try to approach them once or twice to resolve the problems but if they refuse to hear me, I will open my hand and let them go. I will no longer spend years and years trying to one-sidedly mend a relationship that they make no effort to keep.
It may appear as if I’ve wandered far off from my intent for this post, but I actually haven’t. I’ve covered these points:
- Everyone is triggered by memories. Some triggered memories are good, some are bad, and some are traumatic.
- Trauma often causes PTSD, which is “a normal reaction to an abnormal situation.”
- Trauma reactions and tantrums are not the same thing.
- Although we can–and should–have compassion and support each other, we are each responsible for our own recovery and growth. No one can fight our battles or make the world safe for us.
- When we demand that others never fail us, we demand from them something only God can give. If we demand that others be what we want them to be, to not do or say anything of which we disapprove, we are actually attempting to remake them in our image. In effect, we are creating a master/slave relationship.
- Some offenses can be overlooked but sometimes people do or say things that must be addressed. If both people are not free to confront the other, the problems will not be resolved and the relationship will not survive. There must be reciprocity in relationships.
- There are some sacrifices we can and should make for others. However, there are some we should never make. We should never give up our unique identities for another person. They have their own life to live. They don’t get mine (or yours) too.
Do you remember
Who you were before
the world told you
who you should be?
She’s still there.
Go after her.
~ Erica Layne
Second-hand Treasures
Did you have a nice New Year’s celebration?
We don’t go out to celebrate. Our New Year’s Eve traditions involve making homemade pizza and watching a very long movie series–usually the whole Lord of the Rings trilogy–until we can’t stay awake any longer and then finish the movie the next day. It was easier to do this when EJ worked second shift. Now that he works first shift, his alarm goes off at 4 a.m. and often he wakes up before then. I get up at 4:30 a.m. to spend a little time with him and pray for him before he goes to work. Then, if I can, Hannah Joy and I go back to bed for an hour or two more of sleep. By evening we are all eager for sleep (including Hannah) although we try to hold off until 9 p.m. before heading to bed. EJ had to work this New Year’s Eve. I made pizza for supper. We stayed up until 9:30 p.m. and then went to bed. We figured that somewhere in the world it was midnight so we were good. We never did watch The Lord of the Rings.
In the last month, I’ve heard three different instances of people speaking contemptuously of thrift shops (two of them on social media). They spoke as if the items in thrift stores were inferior, dirty, torn, broken, and/or bug-infested. This slightly irritated me. I say “slightly” because I don’t care how people shop. If they want to buy new items, that’s their choice. But as for us, we love second-hand shopping. I’m sure there must be some undesirable thrift stores, but the ones we have always visited have items that are clean, in good condition, attractively displayed and NOT bug-infested. If they were not, people wouldn’t shop there and they wouldn’t stay in business long.
The only real difference I’ve seen between a retail store and a thrift shop is that the latter has no racks and shelves filled with many of the same item. Instead, items are one-of-a-kind (at least at the store) and we never know what we might find–so there’s a thrill of treasure hunting. Also, the prices are cheaper at thrift stores. We’ve found the same high-quality, name-brand items that people paid a lot of money for at retail stores at a fraction of the price they paid. We’ve heard of some people who buy items at thrift stores and then sell them on their websites at a marked-up price. We’ve also heard of people finding items at thrift stores that are worth thousands of dollars. When you think about it, every beautiful antique is actually a second-hand piece of furniture.
I get highs, to be totally honest, in second-hand shops. My hunting instinct, I expect, really kicks in.
~ Bjork
I found this beautiful Norstrikk sweater, made in Norway, at a thrift store. It is very heavy, warm, well made, and beautiful. I love Nordic-type sweaters. This is one of my favorites.
The best way to look stylish on a budget is to try second-hand, bargain hunting, and vintage.
~ Orlando Bloom
Every item in the following photo was bought second-hand, including the picture on the wall. Most of the items we found at thrift stores but I actually found the desk–called a “secretary”–at a garage sale years ago when I was in my late teens or early 20s. I paid $5 for it. It was in bad shape with the veneer cracked and the door falling off. Everyone disdainfully told me that it should be thrown away but I saw possibilities and I refinished it. After I married EJ, he named the desk “Ms. Pennyweather” because it is a secretary. We’ve called it “Ms. Pennyweather” ever since. It is a treasured piece of furniture.
Second-hand stuff leaves you more open to whatever your own personal style is rather than feeling dictated to by shops.
~ Sophie Ellis-Bextor
EJ and I both grew up loving garage sales, thrift shops, used book sales, and auctions. We have both always been frugal and we loved to repurpose things, which takes a fair amount of imagination and creativity. There are things we buy new, but we rarely buy anything new if we can help it. Before we married, EJ had seldom gone to garage sales and I had never gone to an auction. Auctions taught me a lot because they usually involve the selling of a deceased person’s estate. I soberly considered that these people had spent a lifetime accumulating stuff that was now dragged out into the yard, scrutinized by strangers, and sold for very little. It taught me that stuff is just stuff. EJ and I are unimpressed by name-brand labels or the expense of an item. If we brag, it is about what a treasure we found and how little we paid for it.
We love used book sales because we treasure books. We turned our spare bedroom into a home library whose walls are lined with shelves filled with hundreds of books. One of my favorite childhood memories is that of the huge used book sale our library held every year at our town’s annual festival. I looked forward to the book sales more than the parade, or the arts and crafts sale, or the historical encampment held at the huge park. My sisters and I filled boxes and bags full of books that cost us only 5-10 cents each–then we’d have to lug them several blocks home. Once we bought many books at a beautiful towered house that workmen were beginning to tear down to put in a fast food place.
The good thing about buying used books so cheaply–besides the fact that we can buy many used books for the cost of one new one–is that I can take the risk of buying a book written by an unfamiliar author. If a book looks interesting, I buy it figuring that if I don’t like it, I can always re-donate it. I have discovered many authors who have become favorites this way.
About a month ago, EJ and I went to a large used book sale at our local library, which is housed in a community center. There was also a large holiday arts/crafts sale in the building, but we only gave it a perfunctory look because we were there for the books. I just started reading one of the books I found there called The Map Thief. I thought it was a novel, perhaps a fantasy, but it turns out that it’s a true story about Forbes Smiley, a rare book dealer who was caught stealing about 100 maps from the rare book collections in libraries and selling them in his store. In addition to describing the life of Forbes Smiley, the book also describes the history of rare maps and the world of map collecting.
I love learning new things (which is why I have a page called “Everything Links“). Sometimes I feel as if I’m walking along through life and suddenly there is a door that I’d never noticed before. I open it and find a whole world I didn’t know existed. Over the years, I’ve learned about the worlds of fighting wildfires, hotels, Great Lakes bulk carrier, Hebrew and Hebraic perspectives, and many other things by either reading about them or listening to people I personally know. Now I have opened the door to the world of antique maps and I’m finding it fascinating.
I was instantly captivated by the author’s introduction in The Map Thief. Michael Blanding said that when he was growing up, he always found that the best books were those with maps in them. “I pored over the ‘There and Back Again’ map in J.R.R. Tolkien’s The Hobbit, which both allows the reader to follow along with the journey and also plays an essential role in the plot. Personally, though, I was always more captivated by the sprawling map of Middle-earth in Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings, thrilling to the long leagues of jagged mountains and dark-shaded forests bleeding off the margins of the page. That open-ended geography consciously raised the spector of other stories in the adjacent territories occurring at the same time as the events described in the trilogy. ” The author also said that he loved to travel on family vacations, sitting next to his father “folding and unfolding the map as the trip itself unfolded.” His love of maps continued as he grew older. He said, “I know I’m not alone in feeling that cartographic allure–since I started working on this book, countless people have shared with me their own enthusiasm for maps. Some love them for the beauty they express, others for the sense of order they represent. Some thrill to their promise of adventure, armchair or otherwise, and others cherish their familiar depiction of a territory close to home. For everyone I’ve spoken with, however, there is something intensely personal about this cartographic connection. Despite the way they express a shared geography, maps are tools of the imagination first, mediating a relationship between an individual and a place.”
I instantly related to the author’s love of maps because I also love the maps in books such as those of Middle-earth, as well as following my progress on maps as I’ve traveled on family trips. I asked myself, “Why do maps appeal to me personally?” I pondered that I love the sense of traveling along with characters in a story and sharing in their adventure. In addition, since I have such a poor sense of direction, I might love maps because they show me where I am and how I connect to the world. But more than that, maps show me the past, present, and future–where I have been, where I am, and where I am going. They help me consider where I want to be and if I’m going in the right direction. They show me how much progress I’ve made on a journey and how far I have yet to go. In many ways, maps are a metaphor for navigating through life, which is often compared to a journey. I think that’s why I like maps.
“We must read, not only for what we read but for what it makes us think.”
~ Louis L’Amour
I might not have chosen this book if I had been buying it new because if I’m going to pay full price, I want to make sure the book is one I’ll like. However, The Map Thief looked interesting at the book sale, it didn’t cost much, and I thought it was worth the risk. I’m really glad I bought it because I’m learning and pondering so much. It was yet another treasure found at a second-hand sale.
Your second-hand bookseller is second to none in the worth of the treasures he dispenses.
~ Leigh Hunt
I Love To Go A Gardening 