Soul Sighing Day

Last night we had to turn the clocks back an hour. I was quite glad because it meant that we’d get an extra hour of sleep. I was extremely dismayed when I had trouble getting to sleep, and tossed and turned all night.  I haven’t been getting enough sleep. I fall asleep well enough, but sometimes my sleep is fitful and I always wake early.

Because of the fitful night, I was VERY tired when I woke this morning. I felt like I hadn’t slept at all, but I had to do laundry and go to the store. Usually EJ goes with me, but he’s worked every weekend for the past two or three weeks, and he is very tired. The overtime is a blessing right now, but he doesn’t get a chance to rest. His back is also hurting a lot.

So I loaded the clothes in the car and went off to the laundromat alone. After the clothes were washed, I loaded them into the car and headed to the store in the town ten miles away. Although I was foggy with tiredness, I really enjoyed the drive. The scenery is very lovely. As I drove along, I saw a cat pounce on something in the weeds along the road. I wonder what his prey was?

I was hoping to get some Melatonin, a natural sleep aid. Our family doctor had told JJ when he saw her a week or so ago that he could take some if he wasn’t sleeping well. JJ asked me to buy him some a day or so ago because his sleep patterns are all messed up. He is awake most of the night and sleeps through the morning. I asked him if he wasn’t sleeping well because he is a night owl or because he is stressed about the cancer, and he replied “a little of both.”

I couldn’t find any Melatonin at our usual grocery store and the lone pharmacist was so busy waiting on customers at the counter and the drive-thru that I didn’t want to wait. As I waited in line to pay for a few other items, I saw that the man in front of me had a cart full of plants–a large foliage plant, two bouquets of cut flowers, and seven or eight potted flowers of various kinds. I was very curious about why he was buying so many, and I tried to guess the story behind the purchase. Everyone has a story of some kind or another.

After the grocery store, I headed to a Rite-Aid pharmacy down the street. I found some Melatonin on sale (buy one, get another for half-price), and I also bought some Echinacea tea. It’s supposed to boost the immune system. i figured JJ and I could take the Melatonin and we could all drink the tea because we are all tired and need to remain healthy. (EJ isn’t having trouble sleeping. He sleeps well, but is tired from working so much.)

I stopped at one more store for a laundry hamper, and then headed home. I was thankful that EJ had started lunch. I put the groceries away and got the first basket of clothes loaded into the dryer.

When I came into the living room, I saw several ants crawling around. They had been in a piece of firewood we had brought into the house. I killed them, and saw more…and more. Ugh! We have used our woodstove for more than 20 years and never have had such a problem with bugs in the fire wood. This has been such a horrible year for bugs. I spread around some Borax and also sprayed some organic pest spray that is safe around pets. I found the log that the ants were hiding in and threw it in the fire. As I did, I quoted from Firefly, a favorite TV program from the early 2000s: “You are going to burn in a very special kind of Hell.” I needed to get rid of the source of the insects, and I couldn’t keep from quoting from the program.

I was so tired that as soon as EJ left for work, I curled up on the loveseat and tried to take a nap. I dozed a bit, enough to revive me a little, but didn’t really sleep deeply. Mostly I have spent the day longing for night so I can try to sleep. I’ve always called these sorts of days “Soul Sighing Days” because it feels as if I’m so deep down tired that my soul sighs through the day.

This evening, my computer broke again and shut itself off.  I described the problem to our friend who fixed it a month or so ago. Since the fan made a loud noise both times before the computer stopped charging and turned itself off, he said there is a good chance that the main board in my laptop is faulty, However, he will begin by changing the fan and see if that solves the problem. I really, really, REALLY hate being without my computer, even though EJ is nice enough to share his with me when mine isn’t working. I’m using his computer right now to write this blog. Being without a computer feels like one problem too many.

Other than not sleeping well, I am doing mostly good. I am hopeful, not discouraged. I’m just tired.

We all need rest.


3 Comments on “Soul Sighing Day

  1. Pingback: Lazy Day | emilykarn

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