This afternoon JJ wanted me to go with him while he ran some errands in the Enchanted Forest. We went into the garage, opened the big door, and then we saw it in the doorway right behind the car: The HUGE SCARY SPIDER. I swear that it was the size of a baby’s hand.
I told JJ to take a picture of it while I ran in to get EJ, who has not yet seen the size of these spiders. He saw the dead, curled up corpse of the one that had gotten just inside the door–and at which we had sprayed half a can of Ant and Roach Killer before it finally died–but he had not seen a live one. EJ came out into the garage and was suitably impressed. After he saw it, I yelled in panic, “Ok, Now KILL IT! KILL IT! KILL IT!” I didn’t mean for him to stomped on it with his bare foot. Squish. Eeeewwwww!
One of my friends at Facebook said that it was a wolf spider. Another friend said, “If it was a wolf spider, you’re fortunate it was not a female with a hundred babies on her back. They would have jumped off and scattered all over your garage.”
I’ve never liked creepy crawlies, but I had formed an uneasy truce with them. If they are outside, I promised to leave them alone because that is THEIR territory. If they are in my house, however, their lives would be forfeit because they are in MY territory. If any crawl on me, whether inside or outside, I will scream, jump around in my panicked “GET IT OFF!” dance, and THEN I will kill it.
These HUGE spiders scare me so I consider the truce over. Only….they are so HUGE that I’m afraid to get close enough to kill them. I can kill little spiders, but not HUGE ones. So I tell EJ that HE needs to kill them. However, he is still keeping the truce: if they are outside, they can live. He was doing me a favor by killing the one in the garage today. If he hadn’t killed it, I would have run over it with the car.
I thought huge spiders lived only in Australia, or Africa, or the Middle East, or the rain forest, or Texas. It never occurred to me that the spiders in the North would be so freakin’ HUGE. They shouldn’t be where it’s cold and snowy, they should be where it’s hot. I guess I should have known better. In every story about Enchanted Forests, there are always huge scary spiders. Duh.
The huge spiders have made me jumpy. I’m always on the watch for spiders, and I check shoes and stuff before I put them on. Tonight when I took Danny outside, I scanned my surroundings, looking for huge scary spiders. I spotted one on the front porch, about a foot from the door. It was huge. I nervously got Danny and myself in the house. I got my camera and was going to take a picture or video of it, but I was too scared. I imagined it having hundreds of babies, all of which invade my house.