JJ arrived home from work last night at almost 11 p.m. I had waited up for him, and the first thing he said to me when he came in the door was, “Wow, Mom, what happened in the driveway? It’s all tore up and the snow fence is torn to pieces.”
This is what happened:
EJ was driving up the driveway after a long day of work. He was almost at the top when suddenly a fierce northern Snow Dragon descended upon him from where it had been lurking in the Enchanted Forest. I think the warmer temperatures woke it. It grabbed the suburban, with EJ inside, in its powerful jaws and pulled him back down the driveway. EJ tried with all his skill to escape–and he almost made it!–but the Snow Dragon grabbed him again and pulled him even further back down the driveway. The Snow Dragon shook the suburban from side to side, plowing deep furrows in the snow, and flung it into the snow fence, breaking the fence and bending the posts. The suburban finally came to a stop sideways across the driveway, not far from the sign I made which says “No Ogres, Orcs, Goblins” but which does NOT say “No Dragons”–because, you know, not all dragons are bad. I would welcome a good dragon.
I saw EJ’s epic battle with the Snow Dragon from the kitchen window so I bundled up and bravely went out to help. We fought with various weapons, some of which I had brought down with me on the toboggan. We slipped several times, fell a couple of times, but we finally freed the Suburban. EJ didn’t attempt to drive back up the driveway. We didn’t want to attract the attention of the Snow Dragon again, so he parked at the bottom of the driveway not far from the Magic Box, and then we trudged in weary triumph up to the house and enjoyed a homemade venison pie and some ale.
I didn’t think that JJ would believe that this is what really happened, so instead I told him a boring tale about yesterday’s warm temperatures melting the snow just enough to make the driveway very slick. His Dad almost made it up to the house, but he suddenly lost traction and the suburban slid down the driveway. He almost freed himself, but slid again, and the suburban finally ended up sideways across the driveway near my Enchanted Forest sign. Together, EJ and I dug out the suburban from the snow with shovels, kitty litter, boards, and the snowblower. Rather than try to make another attempt to drive up to the house, EJ parked at the bottom of the driveway. When we got back to the house, we enjoyed the venison pie I had made with some ginger ale. We texted JJ warning him to park at the bottom of the driveway and walk up to the house. I waited up for JJ to make sure he made it safely into the house.
This is the first year that we’ve tried to put up a snow fence. We are finding it to be quite useless to do anything except get in our way. We are thinking that maybe next year we will just put up wooden posts with reflective tape or paint on them to mark the sides of our driveway. When we get heavy snow, it’s actually kind of difficult to find the edges of the driveway.
This morning JJ sledded down the driveway to where he had parked the Buggy and drove off to spend the day with his girlfriend. After he left, I snowblowed the driveway. There really wasn’t much snow–except for the deep furrows EJ made trying to escape the Snow Dragon–but we are expecting even warmer temperatures for the next few days, and as much as possible I want to prevent slushy furrows from freezing into icy ruts when the cold temperature returns.
When I finished snowblowing the driveway, I put the snowblower away and then walked Hannah down to the bottom of the driveway to retrieve the sled that JJ had left near the sign. I was surveying the good job I had done clearing the driveway when a county snow plow went by, flooding the end of the driveway with a huge tsunami wave of snow. I yelled an agonizing “NOOOOOOOO! Curse you, you Terrible Snow Beast!” Ok, I didn’t really yell or curse them (although I might have whimpered) because they were only doing their job, and I’m thankful that they keep the roads cleared, but for the briefest moment I was a trifle horrified that they had messed up my work. I went and looked at the end of the driveway and it’s not really all that bad, even though the snow plow really did make an impressive tsunami wave of snow as it went by.
JJ’s sled probably has bite marks on it now. Hannah either really liked JJ’s sled or she hated it, she was either trying to be helpful or she was trying to defeat the sled–I’m not quite sure which. As I dragged the sled up the driveway, she kept grabbing in her mouth and trying to pull it. I couldn’t keep it away from her. Of course, it’s also possible that I had a tug of war with a werewolf–perhaps even Northern Michigan’s famous Dogman. But no one would believe that story.
Eventually I’d like to see if I can teach Hannah to go sledding with me and maybe I can even teach her to take the sled back up to the house.
We might be parking at the bottom of the driveway until the weather turns colder this weekend. It’s so much better for us if we don’t get winter thaws. We can deal with snow, but ice makes our driveway monstrously slippery.