Returning

I think that almost the most difficult part of a difficult time is trying to return to everyday life. During the crisis, a person (or family) is in survival mode. He runs on high alert and finds the energy to do what needs to be done at the moment. After the crisis is over, energy levels crash. It’s like borrowing energy with a credit card.

I found that true when my son had cancer in 2013-2014. We dredged up energy to help him battle cancer. We had the energy to take him to his medical appointments, chemotherapy, and surgery. However, when the treatments were finished, we crashed for about a year, having no energy for anything. Then we dredged up energy to move north, and when we were finished moving, we crashed again. After that, I’ve found that we crash more easily after crises. We’ve been so tired since EJ’s return home from the hospital that we’ve been going to bed by 8 p.m.

Not every form of tiredness is physical. Sometimes it’s also mental and emotional.

Since EJ’s return home from the hospital, we’ve had to process his mini-stroke and its effect on our lives. I think both of us feel EJ–and our life–is more vulnerable. What can he do or not do? What can he eat or not eat? Will this happen again? Will it be worse? When our son had cancer, it really hit us that bad things can shake our world. A few years ago, I began calling these world-shaking crises “life-quakes” because, like earthquakes, they shake and shape the landscape of our lives.

EJ returned to work on Friday. He said everyone warmly welcomed him back. He managed to work 7 hours of his 10-hour shift and then came home. Saturday was his normal day off. He’s back to work today. We shall see how long he lasts today. I’m assuming that his energy levels will gradually increase.

I fell behind and have been trying to catch up on all the work that didn’t get done while in crisis mode. Life continues whether we are here or not. I’ve been doing a few loads of laundry. I’ve been putting them in the dryer instead of the clothesline because it’s less work. The grass was long from days of rain; I mowed it. The day I mowed was nicely cool so I didn’t feel overheated by the task. I raked in the gullies that had formed in our driveway by heavy rain. EJ and I picked some tomatoes and I blanched, peeled, cut up, and froze them. We picked ripe peppers and I cut them up. I freeze bell peppers and dehydrate and grind hot peppers. I picked some herbs and dried them. They need to be ground up. I cut off the heads of some sunflowers, removed the seeds, and stored them to give to the wild birds this winter. Already more tomatoes, peppers, herbs, and sunflowers are ripening and need to be harvested and processed again.

We have six apple trees which EJ and I have planted over the years since moving here. We planted several different varieties. EJ keeps track of when each variety is ready to be harvested because they get ripe at slightly different times–some earlier and some later. The gala apples, my favorite, were ready to be harvested this weekend. We got a half-bushel basket full. Our friend visited yesterday and brought us half-bushels of apples and pears. I need to cut them up. I’m contemplating what we should do with them after that: freeze them? can them? make them into applesauce? make them into apple and/or pear butter? Definitely keep some for eating fresh. I love cutting up apples, melting peanut butter, and dipping the apples in the melted peanut butter.

That’s Little Bear photo-bombing. LOL.

I’m trying to decide which task to do first today. I think I will harvest some herbs because it’s best to do it in the mornings. Then I will process them. Next, grind the already-dried herbs. Then blanch, dice, and cut up the tomatoes I picked yesterday evening. If I have time/energy, I will start on the apples or pears.