I’d like to say that we are bouncing back from JJ’s battle with cancer, but it’s going a lot slower than I expected or wanted. I can’t say this is the most difficult time we have experienced so far because it’s all been difficult–the day JJ was diagnosed with cancer, the medical appoints, the Chemo treatments, the various surgeries were all difficult-but I have felt more tired, and stressed, and overwhelmed at this time than any other. I feel at the very edge of my endurance, and it doesn’t take much to be pushed beyond it. I think we need as much compassion and understanding now as we needed while JJ was undergoing treatments. We are so depleted that it feels as if we will never get our physical or emotional energy back, but I suppose it will come back eventually. The difficulty is being patient with the very slow slowness of recovery.
However, there are a lot of very good things in our lives right now too.
JJ is recovering nicely, which is wonderful. He is still content to rest most of the day but I think that as he gains strength he will begin to feel more active. His hair is growing back more and more. His facial hair looks darker, but we aren’t really sure yet if the hair on his head will be as dark. We assume so. He lost some, but not all, of his eyelashes from Chemo so he has two different colors of eyelashes–his old lashes are lighter and his new lashes are darker. He said he’s not going to shave for a while because after having lost all his hair, he is going to celebrate the fact that he has HAIR.
Spring is arriving, daffodils and tulips are blooming. We have had a few warm-ish days, but the weather has been mostly cool and rainy-ish. I don’t mind because then I don’t feel like I have to be out working in the garden. I love to work in my garden, but I tend to push myself too much. I am trying to remind myself to not over-do. We are supposed to get some warmer days this week, and I will try to do some gardening but will set small goals.
My greatest delight is the birds. I have three bird feeder poles now. One is outside a living room window where I can see it clearly while sitting in my favorite place on the love seat. One is outside the big living room window where EJ can see it clearly. The third was also outside the big living room window, but neither of us could see it very well. After moving it several times in an attempt to make all the feeders hanging on it viewable from where we sit, I finally gave up and moved it under the pine tree. Although it’s further away, I can see it–and we will also be able to see it when we sit on the front porch.
I try to include a variety of seeds, fruit, nuts, and mealworms to attract different types of birds. I have also hung a couple hummingbird feeders, although I haven’t yet seen any. I am amazed at the variety of birds that come to the feeders. We are now getting a lot of brown-headed cowbirds. Last week I saw some beautiful Rose-Breasted Grosbeaks for the first time in my life. It was thrilling! And this morning I saw a beautiful orange bird. A lot of birds look similar so at first I thought it was a Black-headed Grosbeak until I saw on the All About Birds website that they are not located in our area. I also noticed that the beak isn’t the same. I decided that it’s a Baltimore Oriole. I haven’t seen one in years and years and am so excited that they are coming to our feeders!
I think maybe I should start keeping a list of all the birds I see at my feeders. Bird-watching is so much fun and brings me a lot of joy.