I Am Your Sam

It’s has been a difficult week…as in terrifyingly difficult. I debated whether or not to write about this but, oh, well, here goes:

We moved north to give ourselves a fresh start and to recover from years of difficulties. We all have suffered symptoms of chronic stress. The stress came out mostly in different ways. We all struggled with anxiety attacks but most of EJ’s stress affected him physically. JJ has nightmares and gets easily upset. I have struggled with depression. To fight it, I have counted my blessings, sledded down our hill, enjoyed the beauty and wildlife on our property, and so on. We were slowly recovering.

For the last few months, EJ’s new company has been experiencing a historic slowdown. The work has just not been there. With so little work to be done, EJ was moved from second to first shift and he did whatever work was found for him.

Monday morning EJ called me to tell me that he had been permanently laid off. As in, he no longer has a job. His bosses told him that he was an excellent worker, they all enjoyed him, but the work is just not there. They gave him hugs as they parted.

So now we have a new house, an old house that hasn’t yet sold, and no income.

Talk about stress!

EJ is the most hopeful of the three of us.

Photo from LOTR.Wikia
Photo from LOTR.Wikia

I don’t know how we will make it. I feel very scared and completely overwhelmed. I feel fragile and emotional. I cry often and the smallest tasks seem incredibly difficult. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed. EJ says that I have always been incredibly strong and that “You have been strong for too long.” I tell him that I hate feeling so fragile and weak and emotional. “I feel like Frodo in The Lord of the Rings when he moaned, “I just can’t do this anymore, Sam.”  EJ says, “If you are Frodo then I am your Sam…and I will carry you.”


6 Comments on “I Am Your Sam

  1. Our hearts are broken for you and your beautiful family. We are lost for words and wish we could just hug you and pray this all away. My fear is that we are going to see more of this in our small way of life, it feels like the middle family is being squeezed out of existance. Something will open up for your dear husband and in the meantime you are all together. Our son Paul had a similar experience and ended up delivering pizza’s for a couple yrs. Please keep in touch and feel the love and prayers your way.


    Date: Sat, 6 Feb 2016 21:33:49 +0000 To: dodgelocke@hotmail.com


  2. Dear Teri, EJ and JJ, I’m really shocked and so very very sorry for you all. What a burden this is. I hope and pray that EJ will find soon something else. And is there something like we have here what I got when I lost mu job. I had to look for work but received 70% of my income monthly to live on. I don’t know what you call it. Unemployment service??? So that you ‘re not going from a paycheck to nothing the next month. I do hope you have that too. So that reliefs the burden a bit and gives EJ time to look for work. I’ll be praying for this. ❤


  3. Our prayers are with you and know that God is there. We are praying that an opening comes and that your other home will soon be sold and off your list of burdens. Oh I understand your stress. I remember when we were between jobs and had to live with my mother for a year. I was near the end of my rope when things slowly began to improve. Oh may God be with you all.


  4. So sorry for this extremely challenging and difficult time. Knowing God is in control gives some comfort, but that doesn’t usually make it seem less daunting and overwhelming.

    This scene is one of my favorites. Sam started out on this journey so meekly, pausing before he took that last step that would make him the furthest from the Shire that he had ever been. Yet given the opportunity to step up in a huge way, he was able to shine and be a true hero by helping carry Frodo’s burden. I don’t know if he would have realized he had that strength in him if he had not been tested and forced to know it like that.

    Please forgive me if it seems trite, but I do hope that y’all will be given a glimpse into the strength you possess, through Christ, in this situation and beyond. Praying perseverance and resolution soon.


    • Thank you for the encouragement. Loved your thoughts. I actually think stories have a lot of wisdom in them. LOTR is one of my favorites. EJ really is so much like Sam.


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