It’s has been a difficult week…as in terrifyingly difficult. I debated whether or not to write about this but, oh, well, here goes:
We moved north to give ourselves a fresh start and to recover from years of difficulties. We all have suffered symptoms of chronic stress. The stress came out mostly in different ways. We all struggled with anxiety attacks but most of EJ’s stress affected him physically. JJ has nightmares and gets easily upset. I have struggled with depression. To fight it, I have counted my blessings, sledded down our hill, enjoyed the beauty and wildlife on our property, and so on. We were slowly recovering.
For the last few months, EJ’s new company has been experiencing a historic slowdown. The work has just not been there. With so little work to be done, EJ was moved from second to first shift and he did whatever work was found for him.
Monday morning EJ called me to tell me that he had been permanently laid off. As in, he no longer has a job. His bosses told him that he was an excellent worker, they all enjoyed him, but the work is just not there. They gave him hugs as they parted.
So now we have a new house, an old house that hasn’t yet sold, and no income.
Talk about stress!
EJ is the most hopeful of the three of us.
I don’t know how we will make it. I feel very scared and completely overwhelmed. I feel fragile and emotional. I cry often and the smallest tasks seem incredibly difficult. Sometimes I don’t want to get out of bed. EJ says that I have always been incredibly strong and that “You have been strong for too long.” I tell him that I hate feeling so fragile and weak and emotional. “I feel like Frodo in The Lord of the Rings when he moaned, “I just can’t do this anymore, Sam.” EJ says, “If you are Frodo then I am your Sam…and I will carry you.”