Lost (Again)

For some reason, neither EJ nor I slept well last night. However, we had to get up relatively early to go pick up the rental car.

Before we left, I walked across the street to our neighbors to ask if they’d keep an extra key just in case our pet-sitter got locked out of our house. I don’t expect her to lock herself out, but I like to be prepared for possibilities. My neighbor said she would keep the key so I handed it over to her.

Then we drove to the city to get the rental car. We had both intended to print off the directions and phone number of the rental place, but we had both forgotten. We knew it was located in or near the airport, but wasn’t sure where. Oops. EJ got us to the airport ok, and we didn’t see any rental place in the surrounding buildings, so we parked our car and walked into the airport. We immediately saw an information desk, asked the info guy where the rental company was. he directed us a short distance down the hall. No problem.

With insurance and taxes, the rental fee was a lot more than I expected. Oh well, at least JJ will have a comfortable-ish ride home and we won’t have to worry about the car breaking down.

Some of you might know–but some of you might not know–that I have a superpower. Actually, I think most people would discover that they have superpowers if they would only think about it. EJ’s superpower is Legendary Endurance. He also has a super-smelling nose like Gus on the TV series Psych. I think his Legendary Endurance is awesome, but I do not think that I would like to have a super-smelling nose. It could be pleasant sometimes (like smelling flowers or spices) but very unpleasant at other times.

My super power is Finding Lost Items. It is truly impressive. EJ or JJ will ask me to find something misplaced and I can immediately find it. Sometimes I can find Lost Items even when I don’t particularly want to. For example, a couple of months ago, EJ came home from work and there was something going on in the night sky. Usually we all love going outside to watch for lunar eclipses, or comets, or meteorite showers, or space station sightings. But that particular night, I was utterly exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. EJ said, “Can you find the binoculars? Oh, and do you know where [an item] is? It’s in a bag similar to the bag the binoculars are in.” I can’t remember what the second item was, but I said, “I have no idea where those items are and I don’t want to go searching for them. I’m too tired to look at the sky. I’m going to bed.” And I went upstairs to bed. I was drifting off to sleep when into my mind popped an image of the binoculars hanging in the closet. I groaned and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t. So with a sigh I went downstairs, opened the closet, and without really even looking I pulled out….the lost item in the bag similar to the binoculars. I handed it to EJ, reached into the closet again and pulled out the binocular case, and also handed it to EJ. His jaw dropped and his eyes got big from amazement. My super powers totally amaze my family. We all three went outside and looked at the stars and had a good time. THEN I went back to bed.

Super Confusion
Super Confusion

Like any person with superpowers, I also have a super weakness. My super weakness is that although I can awesomely find lost items, I cannot find myself. I get lost super, super easily. My ability to get lost is legendary, as family and friends could tell you. Like the time my sis-in-law drove me to “Parent’s Day” at JJ’s Boy Scout Summer Camp. My sis-in-law has driven all over the USA and never gotten lost. She also has a GPS. So finding her way is no problem. Except, with me in the car, it took us three hours to get to the Camp which was only an hour away. Apparently I can mess up other people’s sense of direction. I even screwed up the GPS, which directed us into a cemetery. I think I am like kryptonite.

Anyway, today we decided that EJ would drive the rental car home because I didn’t want to drive an unfamiliar car. Whenever we go to an unfamiliar place and there is a chance I could get lost, I simply follow EJ. He almost NEVER gets lost. The problem is that the rental car was in one parking lot, and our car was in another parking lot–one in which I had to pay to get out. EJ pointed toward the direction I should drive and where I should meet him. So I drove in that direction. I came to a gate–one with the arm that goes up and down. This arm didn’t go up. There was no place to pay. So, obviously, it was an entrance, not an exit. I backed up and turned around, and apprehensively tried to find a real exit, wondering how I would find EJ again.

I saw a sign that said “EXIT” so I followed it. It took me to a gate that looked EXACTLY like the previous gate. I thought, “Ok, so where’s the Exit???” I saw a sign that said to go through the gate to the toll-booth at the other side of another parking lot. (Why was that gate even there, anyway, if I had to stop at the toll-booth too?) I drove up to the toll-booth gate, obeying a sign ordering me to stay to the right. I put my little ticket into the little machine and the machine swallowed it. Then I looked for a slot to put my money in. There was none. I could only pay with a credit card, but EJ had the credit card, not me! I saw no human in the booth. I was trapped in the parking lot.

I saw EJ pull up at the intersection at the other side of the toll gate. He could tell something was wrong. I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer his phone. I held up my cell phone and pointed to it. “Answer your phone!” I mouthed. He acted (I thought) clueless. So I opened the car window, stuck out my phone, and pointed to it.”ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!!!” I pantomimed. He just looked at me. I realized after a short time that he had probably forgotten his phone at home. I was correct. Great. I was trapped in a parking lot with no ability to communicate.

I saw a sign, finally, that said that I was in the lane for credit card only payments. Of course I was. Given many directional choices, I ALWAYS choose the wrong one. Even if I choose to turn right instead of left because I know I always choose the wrong way, I still choose the wrong way. I pushed a button and the machine spit out the parking ticket. I sat there, imagining airport security surrounding me because I was acting “suspiciously.” Finally a toll-booth lady came out and I told her I hadn’t realized this was a “credit card only” lane. She told me to get in the other lane. I did so, and she took my money, and she let me out.

My super weakness is so strong that I even get lost and trapped in a stupid parking lot. Seriously.

I was able to follow EJ home. I was so glad to finally get home. My adventure traumatized me.

This afternoon I have been busy doing more packing. There have been some things I could pack early (my clothes, books, phone chargers, etc), some things I can pack closer to the time we have to leave (JJ’s clothes, nonperishable food), and some things I will need to pack at the very last minute (computers, toothbrushes and paste, curling iron).

We leave the day after tomorrow.

I will not be driving.

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5 Comments on “Lost (Again)

  1. Oh, my. I am not so good with staying unlost as well. I am supposed to be able to get myself out of the woods safely with my trusty compass and hopefully a gps (if I manage to turn it on correctly and get to the right screens). It doesn’t always work so well. Next time you get trapped in a parking lot be sure to look in the other lanes. You might see me sitting there in the same position. I too have had the “credit card” only issue.

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    • I’m glad I’m not the only one who gets super lost. Next time I get lost, I will be sure to look for you. 😀

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  2. Teri just me just like me I get lost in my own backyard. And when my son is driving he ALWAYS warns me NOT to say we have to go to that side. Because which what side is it right left or what. And I’m so bad in that. Really I can’t sleep whenever I have to go to some not familiar place. Even the voice on my GPS is always happy when I arrive in one piece with car and without doing something stupid. I’ convinced by now that we once were twin sisters and being separated without knowing………..Love you Sis ❤

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  3. Oh Teri! That is funny!! :D. I am glad I don’t have your getting lost ability. ;). I have the don’t read the directions in the middle of the nit ability…just call me Bubbles! 😉

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