Sunday we were hoping to visit EJ’s family, but EJ has had some challenging days at work and he was so depleted that we stayed home instead so he could rest. We find that we are all very easily depleted these days. We have enough energy to accomplish normal tasks and chores but not much else. In some ways, I think this recovery period is almost more difficult than the actual cancer treatment because during treatment we simply did and endured what we had to and we had a lot of support. Now, during this recovery period, we are so easily tired and overwhelmed but there’s not a lot that anyone can do to help. I assume that one day we will feel more like ourselves. Sometimes I wonder if it takes everyone so long to recover or if it takes more time for introverts (who need quiet to recharge) than it does for extroverts? But then I think that each person is different and it will take as long as it takes. Meanwhile, life goes on, we do what we must while not pushing ourselves, and we enjoy small moments of joy.
EJ slept most of Sunday and JJ’s sleep patterns are out of whack again so they went grocery shopping Sunday evening. Even though I was tired, I considered forcing myself to go along but JJ wanted this “adventure” with his Dad so I stayed behind and enjoyed a quiet evening. When they returned, JJ was exhausted so EJ and I brought in the groceries and then I put them away.
Monday morning I went to the post office for the mail. Usually I walk to the post office but this time I drove because it was almost time for EJ to leave for work. I found a card from my friend in our post office box. She makes the most wonderfully creative cards ever and I always enjoy them! When I got home, I eagerly opened the envelope and pulled out the card. It was very autumnish with a pretty pumpkin on the front. I opened it up and a bunch of spiders LEAPED out at me and scattered all over the floor! Boo! My friend had filled the card with tiny black spider confetti. After the initial surprise–my friend is scared of spiders and so am I–I laughed and laughed. JJ said, “You know I’m going to scare you with these spiders in the future, right?” Yup. I carefully picked up every spider and put them back in the card. I might do a bit of scaring too, once JJ has forgotten about these spiders.
EJ hasn’t been able to walk with me and Danny this week, so we have gone alone. I’ve wanted to take longer walks so I figured out a route within our village limits that is at least twice as long as our previous walks, but without walking over the same territory too much.
The trees are continuing to blaze with colors. We’ve had some blustery days that have torn the leaves off the trees so while there are still beautiful leaves on the trees, some trees are becoming bare.
Today the temperature reached only up to the high 40s. It was dramatically cloudy and rather blustery. With the temps so cool, I was surprised to see a live bug crawling on the road. It was quite big–over an inch long. Maybe two inches. It was sort of an emerald color so I wondered it if was an Emerald Ash Borer. If so, it’s not a good insect. I considered stepping on it, but it was so big that I imagined the “squishing” of its body. I couldn’t quite stomach it, so I let it be.
A few weeks ago I saw this HUGE insect fly past me as Danny and I were walking. It was HUGE. By the time I remembered to look it up, I couldn’t really remember the details of what it looked like. I think it might have been some HUGE sort of dragonfly. Or else an alien insect that will attach itself to a person’s neck and suck the life out of him.
Over the summer, we all took on-line personality tests to see what our personality type is. EJ and I have found our results to be extremely accurate and we have had a lot of discussions about the topic. Last week while we were walking, I told EJ that I thought Danny was an Introvert too because he is so very quiet and gentle. We are always surprised when we hear him bark because he barks so seldom. If Danny doesn’t want to obey, he doesn’t growl or complain, he just stands stubbornly in place and grins. When we go for walks, Danny just sort of meanders along, wandering here and there, sniffing this and that. He loves to get “lovings” from people, especially children, and whines when he sees them and then stands quietly and happily while they shower him with attention. If he can’t get lovings, he doesn’t complain about it but allows himself to be pulled away. He’s just the best dog.
The biggest problem we have with him is that he’s such a “mooch.” Last week as EJ and I were walking him, he found a large piece of pizza alongside the road. Of course, he grabbed it. I don’t like him to eat food he finds along the road because, who knows, it could be poisoned or something. So I said, “No!” to Danny and we had a short tug-of-war over the pizza. It tore in two and Danny ate half of it while I flung the other half into the field. I totally forget about it, but Danny didn’t. Yesterday he looked like he was just meandering into the field as he always does, but he went straight over to the pizza piece and ate it before I could stop him. Silly dog.
Another problem with Danny is that he is so quiet and uncomplaining that sometimes I forget that he is outside. I try to give myself reminders–like, lately, I leave my shoes in the middle of the floor so that I will see them out-of-place and remember that my dog is outside instead of quietly sleeping under the table. Saturday I forgot to leave myself a reminder and I totally forgot Danny. EJ came home from work and said, “There is a sad dog crying at the gate.” In horror I rushed outside and there was poor Danny, all wet from the rain. I hadn’t even realized it was raining out. Danny does have a dog house he can go into, but apparently chose not to. I brought Danny in and toweled him dry-ish (it takes his fur forever to dry) and gave him lots of lovings and told him how sorry I was and what a terrible owner I was. Poor Danny. He should learn to complain a little bit more.
I told EJ that if I were artistic, I would create a comic strip about Danny, the Introverted Dog, filled with stories about the situations he gets himself into. Alas, I am not an artist.
Dear Teri thanks for the advice on top of this topic it is just what I need to remember daily. I did the test again, finding it somewhere else also with totally different questions and I’m an introvert no doubt about it. And I can place certain things so much better and that is good. I had 10 days of feeling really terrible and my thyroid begin to get awake and work a bit. That means that with the medication I had to much so everything was going to work harder. My heart, kidneys, and everything else. I felt awful I reduced the medication a bit but that is more of a long term plan. So I had to endure it. When the thyroid stops I need the full medication again. This night I slept for the first time better and without rushing out of bed because of the heart beat.So I hope I can leave this behind. Now I’m tired as can be. And I have to take as much rest as I can.So I can understand so well the feeling of still tired of overdoing for such a long time ( the whole winter and part of spring) everything you had to do in the treatment time. Just let everybody talk and take all the rest you can find.. I love the introvert dog. He is really a beauty and a warm and cozy dog as I can see. Leaving him in the rain the poor wet dog 🙂
Love you all Teri ❤
I am sorry you were feeling so poorly, Simone. I pray you will regain strength and health. ❤
Fortunately, Danny is a very forgiving dog. 🙂
He is my kind of dog and it is just lovely to have a dog that fits our personality . He is ( I can tell 🙂 ) a thinker too. And I will be okay it just takes time ❤