I Love To Go A Gardening
Growing Our Life in Northern Michigan
JJ’s Port
Yesterday feels like a long time ago.
Yesterday morning we had to run a few errands. As we started out, we stopped at our mailbox to get the mail. We found a card from the realtor who helped us find our house. He had sent us a $100 gift certificate from Home Depot as a thank you for choosing him as our realtor. I thought that was amazing. He really was a nice guy.
Michigan was expecting severe weather yesterday. I enjoyed watching the interesting clouds come in, but all we got was some heavy rain. However, the Mid-Michigan region had terrible storms. Friends down there had terrible storms, heavy rain, flooding, tornadoes, and power outages. Yikes.
A massive solar storm has been hitting the earth, which means the Northern Lights are very powerful. EJ saw the Northern Lights glimmering and dancing over the lakes as he drove home from work last night at about 1 a.m. or so. He said they were some of the most powerful he had ever seen. He woke us when he got home so we could see them too. We all went outside, but couldn’t see any so EJ drove us to the lake shore where we’d have a more unhindered view. Alas, we didn’t really see any because they had died down by then. Bummer. However, they are supposed to be very powerful again tonight so we are definitely going to watch for them. I have only ever seen the Northern Lights once in my life, and they were relatively weak.
After our night-time adventures, I had trouble getting back to sleep. I finally fell asleep about 5:30 a.m. With so little sleep last night, I was very tired today. Yawn. I’m not sure why the nights are always sleepless just before a busy day.
Today JJ had his port taken out. Because the removal was scheduled for the afternoon, I had to take JJ to the hospital myself, without EJ. I was able to get us to the hospital and back again with the help of Viki, our GPS. I get lost VERY easily, but I feel more confident finding my way in this new region than in the old. Viki helps, of course, but I also like that there are no freeways to navigate. Freeways make me nervous because if I miss an exit or take a wrong one, I could have to drive miles before I can turn around. With no freeways, I can just make a few turns to correct a mistake.
Viki was able to help on the roads, but not in the hospital. I tend to get lost in the maze of hallways inside a hospital. I laughed when we went to the information desk inside the hospital to find out where we were supposed to go. The lady behind the counter printed out a form for JJ to take with him and then immediately called a volunteer to walk us to the correct place. I thought, “It it so obvious that I can get lost anywhere?”
JJ was given the choice of either having twilight anesthesia (which means he’s not totally asleep, but not aware either) or to just have localized anesthesia. The nurse said that most people choose to just have local anesthesia. Seriously? They are awake and aware as the port is removed? Bleagh! JJ felt as I did and chose to have heavier anesthesia but he says he still was quite aware of the procedure. As always, I made him laugh before they wheeled him away. He said he babbled through most of the procedure. He was quite “loopy” when they returned him to his room where I was waiting. He babbled, didn’t make sense, and couldn’t decide on what to eat from the menu they gave him. I had to choose food for him. After an hour, he had recovered enough that they let us go home.
A month or two ago, a friend of ours asked if she could have JJ port when it was taken out. We asked, “Ok….uh, why on earth would you want JJ’s port?”
Our friend, Cris, is a member of Michigan Search and Rescue, which is an all volunteer missing persons response team serving Michigan and the Great Lakes Region. As they describe on their website, their services include those of trailing dogs – usually bloodhounds who trail the scent of a specific person from their last known location. Also included are airscent or wilderness dogs. These dogs range from their handlers and look for any human scent – alive or recently deceased. When they locate such a scent, they return to the handler in order to lead the handler back to what they’ve found. Cris has a human remains detection specialist dog. These teams specialize in locating deceased individuals including buried and drowning victims. I think the work they do is awesome. I actually got to meet several of the MISAR handlers and their dogs a few years ago when they worked at a local cemetery finding “lost” grave sites. It’s really interesting following the adventures of my friend and other MISAR handlers at Facebook as they train and work their dogs in all sorts of settings. Here is a video of one of my friend’s training sessions with her dog, Joe Pete.
When we asked Cris why she wanted JJ’s port, she told me, “Dogs recognize chemotherapy drugs as bad stuff. They have to learn to work through the scent to the human scent. Birds of prey won’t go after bodies that had chemo either. They are doing studies at the FOREST in North Carolina.” MISAR doesn’t often have an opportunity to train the dogs to search for people/remains of those who have had chemotherapy. Therefore, my friend wants JJ’s port as a training tool for the dogs. I would have forgotten to ask the medical staff for JJ’s port, but JJ remembered to ask and they gave him the port after they removed it.
I think it’s really awesome that we can help MISAR a little by donating JJ’s port.
At Home in the Enchanted Forest
I was so exhausted yesterday that I thought I’d sleep all night. However, about 3 or so I had to go to the bathroom. I went to bed, but Danny decided he wanted outside. Sigh. So I grabbed his leash and out we went. There were big spiders by the door–but not as big as Shelob, the hand-sized spider. I stepped over them (shudder) and took Danny out. He wandered about for quite a while before I declared, “Enough! We are going back in!” After that it took me a couple of hours to fall back to sleep. I woke up very tired this morning.
However, we had a great day.
JJ had to work, but EJ and I stayed home all day. This is the first time we were able to just stay home without running here and there, doing this and that. We puttered around. EJ mowed the front lawn…until he ran out of gas. Our gas can is still down south in the old house. It looks nice. We are not going to mow much of our property. Most of it we are going to keep as habitat for the wildlife. After he finished mowing, he worked at putting his garage in order. He had brought up some of his tools yesterday when we went to the old house. He also cut a hole from the entrance hallway to the pantry so the cats can get in there to use their litter boxes without us leaving the pantry door open.
Meanwhile, I mostly organized the pantry, which is very big. It holds not just food, but also items that we don’t have room for in other closets in the house. EJ’s stuff, of course, he keeps in his garage.
I also cooked a turkey in the roaster, unpacked a few boxes, washed dishes, and reorganized a few of the kitchen cupboards.
Together EJ and I walked to the mailbox and back, admired each other’s work, walked around the yard and discussed plans, relaxed in our chairs on the porch and sipped ice tea while we enjoyed the beautiful scenery, and–finally–ate a meal of turkey, potatoes, and salad.
Towards evening, I took my camera outside and tried to take a picture of our forest, but it was difficult to capture the dark mysteriousness of its depth. The sun was setting and I was able to get a few pictures of it shining through the trees.
We had an awesome day puttering around in the Enchanted Forest.
There and Back Again
After getting home from work last night (or rather, in the wee hours of the morning), EJ slept three hours and then we drove to our old house. We loaded up the Buggy and then drove to the graduation open house. We spent a couple of hours there and then drove back home. Most of our day was spent driving. We drove from the top of Michigan to the bottom of Michigan and back again.
Physically it was a very long and tiring day and we are utterly exhausted. However, we had fun. The day was beautiful and we drove through gorgeous scenery. We had a wonderful time being together and we had great conversations. We really enjoyed seeing EJ’s family. We are very glad we went.
But now we are glad we are home. It’s time for bed.
When I in Awesome Wonder
Morning
When JJ got home from work last night, he said, “Our forest is kind of scary! I saw blue glowing eyes in a tree about halfway up the hill. I think it was probably an owl.” I said, “Maybe it was an orc.” He said, “No. Bilbo Baggin’s sword glowed blue when there were goblins around, but their eyes are not blue.” We are such sci-fi geeks.
Our cat Timmy was restless last night and kept jumping on our headboard and making noises that woke me up. I would tell him to stop it as I pulled him down but he kept doing it. Finally, I got up and went to JJ’s room and opened the door a bit. Timmy never paid much attention to JJ in our old house, but up here both Luke and Timmy has been sleeping on his bed with him while Kee-Kee and Little Bear sleep with us. I figured that Timmy was upset that he couldn’t get into JJ’s room, and I was correct. Timmy was quiet the rest of the night.
EJ gets home from work in the wee hours of the morning and he was still up so I talked to him a bit in the living room before yawning and heading back to bed. I just laid down when Danny told me he needed to go out. Seriously? It was 3 a.m.! But I sighed, got out of bed, put on my shoes and jacket, got Danny’s leash on him, and we went outside. EJ came with us…because you never know what evil lurks in the Enchanted Forest in the dark of night. As soon as we got outside, I said delightedly to EJ, “Look! It’s so cold that I can see my breath! In mid-June! Can you believe it?” And I breathed out a puff of visible air. When I was a child, I used to pretend I was a fire-breathing dragon on cold mornings.
And then I looked up into the sky…and, oh, my goodness! There were billions and billions of stars filling the sky, and I could clearly see the Milky Way! Because we are on a hill, it felt that if the world tilted a bit, we would fall off into a sea of stars.
Photo from Pinterest.
I haven’t seen a night sky like this in years and years and years. At our old house, the light pollution drowned out the stars and I had sometimes complained to EJ, “I am quite sure that there are actually more than two dozen stars in the sky.”
EJ and I watched the sky while Danny wandered around, and I said, “This is why I wanted to live in the north…so I could see deer grazing outside my window, and turkeys wandering through the yard, and pileated woodpeckers in the trees, and the stars in the sky!”
Oh Lord, my God, when I in awesome wonder
Consider all the worlds Thy hands have made
I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder
Thy power throughout the universe displayed
When through the woods and forest glades I wander
And hear the birds sing sweetly in the trees
When I look down from lofty mountain grandeur
And hear the brook and feel the gentle breeze
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee
How great Thou art, how great Thou art
Evening
Usually EJ works ten-hour days Monday through Thursday and gets Fridays off. JJ’s work schedule is more fluid. He had this Friday off, so we were going to do something fun together. However, EJ had to work today so that was that.
Still, we had a quiet morning together. EJ and I walked down to the mailbox and just rejoiced that we live in such a beautiful place. Then we sat on the front porch and read the local newspaper, drank coffee, and enjoyed the scenery.
Later, JJ and I drove to the beautiful library in the Emerald City and got library cards. It really is as awesome as JJ had told me it was. Because we aren’t “in district,” we aren’t able to enjoy all the services the library offers, but we will be able to use it some. I told JJ later that we should take a trip to our local library soon and get library cards. That library isn’t as big or beautiful as the one in the Emerald City, but we will be able to enjoy all it’s services, including its Internet books and movies.
I was tired from Timmy keeping me awake last night, so JJ drove to the Emerald City and back. I was pleased at how much confidence he had gained in driving. Before, he was very hesitant and worried about making mistakes. The north is good for him.
We got an estimate from the guy who was going to do our driveway. I have found that some types of businesses–like driveway people or professional movers–don’t really like to give you a “guess-imate” because the price depends on how much work is needed. Because we have no experience with these types of services, we can’t even guess how much the cost will be. Well, we found out how much the driveway would cost. I realize the guy was wanting to do a very good job to fix the driveway problem permanently, but OUCH. It’s very, very expensive and totally not in the budget. We are going to have to find a MUCH less expensive solution.
EJ and I were going to take a break this weekend and not go south to the old house. Although the long drive there and back again is beautiful and we enjoy being together, the drives are also tiring and not particularly good for EJ’s back. His back has been hurting and spasming lately, and he is very exhausted. We have been under such stress for so long that I really think we are suffering from the effects of chronic stress.
Our restful weekend plans were cancelled when EJ’s sister told him that she wasn’t sure any family was going to make it to her son and daughter’s high school open house, which is tomorrow. We know how it feels to not have family attend important events so we decided we must go. The family lives about an hour more south(ish) than our old house. We will drive down tomorrow, attend the open house for a couple of hours, stop at our old house, load up the buggy with more boxes, and drive back north. It will be nice to see EJ’s sister and her family, but it will be a very, very, very long day. Just the thought of it is exhausting. JJ has to work this weekend so he won’t be going with us.
Next weekend we are having a furnace installed at the old house so we will have to drive down there. Hopefully, the trips south will end soon and we can starting learning how to relax. Sometimes there are so many things that need to get done, and so many times that our relaxing times are cancelled, that we look at each other and say, “We don’t even know what fun is anymore.”
I’m feeling a little overwhelmed about the sudden switch from relaxing to non-relaxing weekend.
Funny Miss Twiggley
This morning as I got out of bed, I glanced out the window and saw a deer grazing right outside. I snuck out to the living room and got my camera, and then snuck back into the bedroom and began taking video and pictures. I realize that you all may get tired of deer videos, but I’m so thrilled that I can’t help but video them and share them.
A bit later, I heard EJ whisper urgently for me to come into the bedroom. He also saw a deer grazing when he woke up. We haven’t yet mowed our lawn because we just brought the mower up last weekend and we haven’t had time. However, we discussed mowing very little of our yard so we can provide habitat for the wildlife. Of course, we couldn’t mow much of it anyway because we live on the top of a hill and there is forest and ravines around us. But we purposely want to leave as much of it unmowed as we can.
We were sitting in the living room drinking coffee when I happened to glance toward the kitchen window. “Oh, my goodness! Someone is here!” I gasped in shock. We don’t really know anyone yet and we are so surrounded by trees, ravines, and a long steep driveway that I’m always shocked when I see a strange car. And, actually, I haven’t seen many strange cars come up the driveway.
EJ was dressed but I was still in my pajamas so he went outside to talk to the strangers while I rushed into the bedroom to get dressed. When I was dressed, I saw EJ talking to two women on the porch. They carried what looked like Bibles, so I figured (correctly) that they were probably Jehovah Witnesses. I love God and I believe the Bible is true, but I’m not a JW and don’t like talking to them when they come to the door. I know some people engage them in a discussion–which is really what EJ did–but I just sort of say “Thanks, but I’m not interested” as if I were talking to a telemarketer. I think it’s the INFJ Introvert in me that makes me dislike these types of door-to-door visits from strangers. People might disagree, but I don’t really think such evangelistic visits work these days–although I also think God can work any way He wants. I prefer simply living my faith and remaining always ready to give a reasoned answer to anyone who asks [me] to explain the hope [I] have… (I Peter 3:15)
Anyway, I felt at first like hiding and letting EJ handle the visit. Then I thought, “Oh, my goodness! I’m becoming just like funny Miss Twiggley in the old children’s story that my family had when we were growing up! I still remember the first paragraph of the story:
Funny Miss Twiggley
Lived in a tree
With a dog named Puss
And a color TV.
She did what she liked, and she liked what she did,
But when company came
Miss Twiggley hid.
I always liked that Miss Twiggley lived in a tree with her dog, but I decided to go out and join EJ and the women, so I did. We had a nice little chat and EJ said later that he had told them about what we believe. It’s only fair, if they are going to come to our door, that we (or rather EJ) share our faith as well.
After the women left, EJ and I sat on the porch and chatted for a bit as we enjoyed the morning. Mostly I’ve just seen crows flying in our Enchanted Forest. I think crows are very intelligent and interesting birds, and I like them, but I’m eager to see other birds as well. I’ll be glad when we get our bird houses, bird bath, and bird feeders up here so we can attract birds to where we can view them. I’m not going to bring up my birdhouses until late summer after the sparrows at our old house are no longer raising their young, and I can’t put up the bird feeders until the bears hibernate for the winter. But eventually we will be able to enjoy the variety of birds up here. Anyway, I was idly watching the crows flying overhead when suddenly a crow flew straight across our land. Only…it looked sort of funny, and I thought at first it was carrying something in its mouth. I focused more intensely on it…and realized it was a woodpecker. It was HUGE, the biggest I’ve ever seen! It was a pileated woodpecker. Allaboutbirds.org says that
Photo from: thebirdpoint.wordpress.com
“The Pileated Woodpecker is one of the biggest, most striking forest birds on the continent. It’s nearly the size of a crow, black with bold white stripes down the neck and a flaming-red crest. Look (and listen) for Pileated Woodpeckers whacking at dead trees and fallen logs in search of their main prey, carpenter ants, leaving unique rectangular holes in the wood. The nest holes these birds make offer crucial shelter to many species including swifts, owls, ducks, bats, and pine martens.
EJ just caught a glimpse of it. Later, when we were in the house, we saw it pecking at a tree. I was so absolutely delighted! I’ve never seen a pileated woodpecker before!
I so totally love the Enchanted Forest!
Later in the morning, JJ and I decided to go get the mail. It looked as if it were going to rain, but I checked Accuweather radar and it didn’t really show more than a few little specks of green. So I told JJ that we would be fine, and we ran down the steep driveway, got the mail, and walked back up huffing and puffing. I have a park bench at our old house, and I declare that when we get it moved up here, I am going to put it halfway up the driveway so we can stop for a rest. We were at the top of the hill when the skies opened up and it began to pour. JJ and I ran to the house as he wailed, “I thought you said it wasn’t going to rain!!!”
After my guys left for work, I did a few tasks. First I hung a couple pictures in the living room. I will want advice for hanging the others–like where the studs are in the wall and such. Then I took pictures of the newly painted room.
Then I did a live chat with a Lexmark support technician to find out why my computer and wireless printer haven’t been communicating since I brought the printer up to the Enchanted forest. The technician worked with me for a couple of hours and, well, to sum up, I have to find the USB printer cord, which I’m quite sure is still at the old house, then do what my computer tells me to do, and somehow that will get the printer to communicate again.
I also did laundry. I wanted to wash the jeans I was wearing, so I put on my sweatpants that I wear as pajamas and a pullover sweater. It’s not like anyone ever comes up the hill. Except for this morning. I was folding clothes when I heard this big roar, and I looked outside and two trucks drove up the driveway. Oh, my goodness! I rushed around trying to find presentable clothes to put on, hoping I could find them before the people knocked on the door! I finally found the clothes, got dressed, and went outside. Two guys were consulting in the driveway. They were the guys that are going to fix the driveway. Well, the first guy is actually the one EJ called about getting gravel. He arranged for us to meet the second guy, who has expertise in fixing driveways like ours. The second guy is going to come out tomorrow to measure the driveway and write up an estimate.
And so my day pretty much ended the way it began: With me wearing pajamas and panicking when strangers came to my door.
Projects
The temperature dropped down into the 40’s last night…even though it’s mid-June! I think that is cool (pun intended). The high today was 71. I like the cooler temps.
JJ had to be at work at noon today. After he left, the guy EJ had called about bringing gravel for our driveway stopped by to look at our driveway, which is being nibbled away by erosion. There are deep chasms along our driveway–first on one side and then on the other–so driving down it is a challenging adventure. The guy said he could do something or other that would cause the rain to not run down the driveway and cause erosion and, I think, he can use some sort of road stuff that would pack down and become almost like blacktop. The guy is going to write up an estimate. He project will be more than EJ originally planned, but it will be cheaper if we don’t have to dump loads of gravel on our driveway every year.
After the gravel guy left, I drove to the lumber store to pick up the paint they had ready for me. Ugh. The blue walls in our living room was so dark that it took 3 gallons to cover it! EJ and I decided to get some Kilz as primer for the kitchen walls–which are currently red–so I don’t have to keep buying paint. The poor guys at the lumber store have to keep special ordering the base paint so they can mix the paint for me. One of them said that people are not buying much flat paint these days but are going with eggshell or gloss so they don’t keep much flat base at the store.
I have decided on the colors for the master bedroom and JJ’s bedroom. When I went to pick up the paint for the living room, I asked the guy if he could mix up those for me too. Of course, the lumber store didn’t have the correct base. I called EJ to ask if I should get the paint there or get it at the hardware store. I don’t know how to get to the hardware store yet, so EJ would have to go with me. We decided to just order it so I can pick it up when I need it. I told the lumber guy that I felt really bad that I was causing him to special order all the time, but we just moved here and his store is the only one I know how to get to. He said, “This is the only store!” as if he were using Jedi mind tricks on me. Ha! We laughed about me only knowing how to get to his store. We got to talking about where we used to live, and living up here versus living down south (much better up here). He told me where his sister lives down there and it just happened to be the town where I grew up. It is only about 30 minutes from our old house so we often shop…er, shopped, there. Small world, huh?
I told the lumber guy that I love living up here, and I love watching the animals that come into our yard. He said, “We’ve got bears up here.” I told him, yeah, I know, and bears kind of scare me, but I love the other animals.
After EJ left for work, I walked to the mailbox but I left Danny in the house because the hill is too much for him.
I spent the rest of the day finishing painting the living room. There is a sort of pillar that goes up and across the ceiling and that was more difficult to paint so it took me a long time. Tomorrow I just have a few little areas to touch up and then I will be able to move on to preparing the kitchen for painting.
After I cleaned everything up, it was almost time for JJ to get out of work, so I went out into the kitchen and made oven-fried chicken with strawberry shortcake for dessert. Yum.
EJ and I have been discussing whether to go south this weekend and bring up another load of stuff from the old house or take a break. We’d really like to get everything up here as soon as we can so we don’t have to keep making trips down south and so we can call a realtor and sell the house. However, EJ’s back has been spasming and I think it’s because the long drives are hard on his back. Since neither EJ nor JJ have to work this Friday, we are thinking about maybe taking the weekend off and doing something fun.
Boundary Markers
Yesterday, a couple of hours after I saw the doe and her two fawns, Danny asked to go out. It was about twilight. During the day I let Danny go outside with us without a leash–unless we are near the road. However, toward evening I use the leash because I don’t want to risk him running off after deer or other evening/night animals. While Danny was “doing his business” I heard a snort. I looked down the driveway and saw the Mama Deer staring at me. She took a step toward me and snorted again. Another step and another snort. I thought, “Wow, she’s going to come after me because she thinks I’m threatening her little ones!” I didn’t want to upset her so as soon as Danny was done, I got him back in the house. I love the deer on our property!
Early this afternoon I was going to take Danny with me to get the mail. I started to run down the driveway, expecting Danny to run along side me. I looked back to see where he was and there he was standing at the top of the hill looking at me. “Com’on, Danny!” I called. But he just stood there grinning and wagging his tail, letting me know quite plainly that he was not going to go down that hill. So I turned around and trudged back up. He danced around me with joy when I reached the top. “You are such a wimp,” I told him fondly as I let him in the house. I went alone to the mailbox. Later in the evening, JJ wanted to walk so we went to the mailbox and back. He wanted to run up the driveway but though I tried, I was just too tired. I walked up instead.
JJ didn’t have to work today so after his Dad left for work, he and I ran a few errands. We stopped at the lumber yard to get another gallon of paint. We actually decided that the color we had chosen before had too much of a greenish tint to it so, since we needed more paint anyway, we chose a very similar color that was more yellow. The differences between the colors were so slight that it’s barely noticeable–and yet it is. The other color felt slightly wrong. I think it’s difficult to choose paint because colors can look right in the store but not on the walls. I like the creamier color better. I painted again today. I should be able to finish the living room tomorrow and then I can begin working on the kitchen. I’m also considering colors to paint the master bedroom and JJ’s room.
Since writing yesterday’s post, I have been thinking a lot about boundaries and how difficult it is to set them. I think that people who can set boundaries would think it was utterly ridiculous how difficult it is for others to set them. It’s kind of hard to explain, although I can see where it began. I mean, I remember wanting to confront a sister about this or that when I was a child, and my Mother telling me, “She is who she is. Love and accept her for who she is. Don’t rock the boat. You’ll only make things worse.” That advice sounded loving and since I wanted to be loving and accepting, I didn’t confront my sister. In reality, the advice was not loving, it was unhealthy because issues were not resolved. When resentments and offenses built up among siblings to the point where they were voiced, it felt like a brutal attack–which only supported my Mom’s opinion that confronting would make things worse. So you learn to accept the offenses, be silent, smile, and be nice. As adults, I was still accepting, loving, and nonconfronting, which allowed my sister to continue abusive behavior. When I did finally set a boundary, our relationship ended. That happens sometimes. Either a person respects a boundary or the relationship ends.
There were also the message that my Mom taught and others throughout my life reinforced that to say no, to set limits, to want something for yourself was selfish. So, again, you learn to be nice, don’t rock the boat, and give and give and give to others without expecting anything in return. It’s good to be compassionate, forgiving, and giving, but abusers or other types of “takers” will take and take and take until there’s nothing left to give.
These messages make it difficult to set boundaries, and sometimes the boundaries that are difficult to set are ridiculous.
Like a few years ago, I had a terrible rash. A friend asked a mutual friend to drop off some medication that she thought would help. The friend dropped off the medication and then asked to be taken on a tour through my garden. I was completely unable to tell the friend that the rash was so unbearable that I hadn’t slept in days and the last thing I wanted to do was take her through my garden. Instead, we walked through my garden. Now I realize that there was nothing rude or “not nice” about telling her that the tour would have to wait until I felt better. Duh. But I didn’t know it then.
A few years ago, our neighbors and their visitors kept parking on our lawn. They didn’t park a little bit on our grass, but they pulled up right on our lawn between the street and the sidewalk. EJ and I really struggled with it and agonized over it for several months because we would never park on someone’s lawn. (Our other neighbors have a strip of pavement along their yard that our visitors sometimes mistake as the side of the road. It’s not, our neighbors pave and maintain that bit themselves. We always told our visitors that that is our neighbor’s property and please don’t park there). We didn’t want to rock the boat or make things worse by asking our neighbors to please not park in our yard. I had been learning about boundaries so finally when I saw one of their friends park on our lawn, I opened the window and asked if they would please not do it. It took all my courage. They said ok, moved their car, and no one parked there again. Wow. No attack. It’s sort of stupid to agonize over it.
I knew that I grown much when a few weeks ago, just before I moved north, our neighbor was out cutting down branches from a tree that was close to our fence. They were doing it right…with a rope around the branches they were cutting so that they wouldn’t fall to the ground. When previous neighbors had had professionals trim the tree, a branch had fallen on the fence and bent it. (We had said nothing and they didn’t fix it.) I was sort of expecting a branch to fall on our fence again this time. Sure enough, I heard a big KABOOM, looked out, and a huge branch (more like a trunk) had fallen and completely crushed a section of our fence. Without even agonizing over it, I walked out to talk to the neighbors. “Oops! We are so sorry!” our neighbors said when they saw me approach. “It was an accident. We were lowering the branch when it bounced and hit your fence.” I said, “But you are going to fix it, right?” They said they would. So I went back into the house and a little bit later one of the guys came to get me. They had straightened and fixed the fence and wanted me to approve it, which I thought was nice. I went out and looked at it and it was better than it was before. I thanked them, they apologized again, and everything was pleasant. Wow. I had actually spoken up and things were not “worse” because I did.
I never really understood healthy boundaries until I began to understand emotional abuse. In the past, I have felt that being accepting (of flaws), forgiving (without repentance), sacrificing and giving (without conditions or limits) meant that I was being compassionate, merciful, and “godly.” However, now I understand that being “too nice” can actually allow disrespect and abuse to continue and grow. If people have the tendency to be “takers” or abusers, they don’t see a person without boundaries as compassionate and caring, they see them as weak doormats whom they can control, manipulate, and take advantage of.
Photo from: thedeliberateagrarian.com
I’m not saying that boundaries means we are selfish, uncompassionate, and unforgiving (which is what I was always taught). It doesn’t mean that we have “no testimony.” Instead, it’s like…when we were buying our house, we had surveyors mark the boundaries of our land. Knowing the boundaries between “our” land and our neighbor’s land actually helps strengthen neighborly relationships because it prevents disputes over whether one or the other owns that bit of land. It also prevents an unscrupulous person from slowly creeping over the boundary and taking his neighbor’s land bit by bit. If there is a dispute, neighbors can point to the boundary stakes or the survey report and say, “No, this is MY land, not yours.”
Maybe that’s why the Bible says “Don’t cheat your neighbor by moving the ancient boundary markers set up by previous generations.” (Prov. 22:28 NLT, Deut. 19:14 and 27:17). Boundaries help define us, it makes a distinction between “me” and “you” and “mine” and “yours,” it stops abuse, it prevents offenses and resentments from building up, and it encourages mutual respect. In effect, it promotes peace and strengthens relationships–not just in context of land, but also within relationships. One person can move another person’s personal boundary markers just as much as a boundary marker for land.
I don’t know if any of this made sense. However, I want to tell you that it was a very big thing for me to be able to set the boundary and say, “This is OUR land and we–not you–will determine how it is to be used.”
This Land Is Our Land
This morning I began painting our living room. We chose a color called Kira Caramel, which is a neutral beige color that I think is sort of the color of butter. It’s so good to get rid of the dark blue walls! While I like to paint rooms different colors, I most generally prefer warm, subtle colors that make a room feel light and airy. Colors that are considered “cool” (like blue) or that are too dark tend to depress my spirits. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that a person is said to be “blue” when they are depressed.
The newly painted walls are looking good, but I ran out of paint about late afternoon. It takes a lot of paint to cover up the blue. I will finish when we get another gallon. After I finish the living room, I will paint the kitchen, which we decided to paint Sunbeam Glow, which is a warm yellow color. Then we can put in new flooring. We wanted to get the painting done before the floor so that we don’t get paint splatters on the new flooring.
After I put away my supplies, Danny and I walked down the driveway and then back up. We walked rather than ran because it was too humid and hot today. Neither one of us had the energy to run.
I was puttering around, cleaning the kitchen and putting some stuff away when I glanced out my kitchen window and saw the doe with two fawns. Awwww. They were so adorable! I grabbed my camera and started videoing them, of course. If I keep seeing sights like this, I am going to have to get a better camera.
I love our property! We really feel as if this place is a gift from God, a place of natural beauty and quietness where we can get a break from the chronic stress we have been under for so long and renew our spirits.
One matter of concern is that from the moment one friend saw our property, he has talked about bringing his friends (whom we’ve never met) to stay at our place so they can go snowmobiling, etc. At first he wanted them all to stay in our house, but when EJ said that we have no guest rooms (our third bedroom is our library, which is stuffed with books) and we don’t want strangers in our house, he said they’d stay in tents in our yard, and then he talked about asking a local campground if they had an abandoned RV that he could bring up and keep at our place. The RV seems to imply that him and his buddies staying here would be a regular occurrence rather than a one-time event.
This makes me feel that the friend doesn’t care so much about visiting us as he does about using our property as his private retreat, his base camp, to invite his friends to whenever he wanted to. And that causes EJ and me anxiety because using our land in such away is not our plans.
One thing I resolved is that when we moved to the Enchanted Forest I would set healthy boundaries and not allow anyone to disregard them. This is important because victims of Narcissistic abuse often find it difficult to set boundaries. Narcissists are like invaders who disrespect and ignore boundaries, sweeping in to force their demands on others. Victims are not allowed to be separate people, to say “no,” to set limits, to have their own opinions or possessions, and so on, and in the process their confidence and identities are destroyed. So victims often struggle to say “No” and this opens the door to others coming in to take advantage of them. Learning to set healthy boundaries–to make a distinction between “me” and “you” and “mine” and “yours”–is important to healthy relationships. I have been working on strengthening my boundaries, and I have been making progress, and I have resolved that I would continue to set healthy boundaries here in the North.
EJ and I discussed that our boundaries in this case is that as much as we love and value our friends, we did not make all these changes, and take all these risks, and make so many sacrifices, and work so hard to buy this property for our friends. Our friends are not co-owners of our property and neither are we in a co-op or time-share with them with us all having equal rights to the property. We are not managing a public campground, a semi-private retreat, a hotel, a Bed & Breakfast, or a deer/fishing/snowmobiling base camp. We bought this property for us. This is not our seasonal vacation property, this is our home and our land and we want it to be peaceful and quiet and enjoyable, a place where we can de-stress, recover from abuse and cancer battles, relax, and enjoy life. We all desperately need this beautiful, quiet place to rest. The thought of having strangers camped outside our door fills me with anxiety.
It might seem selfish of us, but if we can’t say “no” we could soon lose control of our own land. While we would genuinely enjoy occasional visits from friends, we have no intention of becoming Bed & Breakfast hosts or campground directors of any sort. We don’t want strangers staying here or RVs permanently parked here. If a friend is looking for a “base camp” to enjoy fun activities with his buddies, I’m sorry, but they all need to rent a cabin together or buy their own vacation property. We bought this property for us, not for it to turn into a private campground for others.
And that is my very first boundary in the Enchanted Forest.
Weekend Busyness
The weekend has been very busy.
Friday morning I was barely awake when I got a call from the hospital saying that JJ could have his port out that very day if he wanted to. He also could choose to have a twilight anesthesia when the port was taken out or to be awake and just have the actual area numbed. I felt those were decisions that JJ should make so I woke him up and handed him the phone. He wasn’t mentally prepared for the procedure that day so he scheduled it for June 23. Also, he wants to be twilighted. I mean, seriously, who wants to be awake when their body is opened and a port pulled out? Shudder.
EJ has begun working four ten-hour days and getting Fridays off. So Friday we went to a Menards store in the Emerald City to buy some tile because the rain runs down our steep driveway and erodes it so that there are widening gullies on either side. I think it’s sort of scary to drive. The tile lets the water drain away safely. A few years ago I asked why it’s called “tile” when it’s actually plastic tubing that looks nothing like tile, and EJ told me that in the olden days it was actually tile.
At the store we also looked at shelving for the books in our library. We considered the options and decided that shelves and bookcases are much, much too expensive, so we are going to make our own. We didn’t buy any supplies today because the tile took up all the room in the Buggy (Xterra).
After we got home, JJ helped EJ position the tile along the driveway. Monday EJ plans to call an excavation place and ask them to haul in gravel for the driveway.
Saturday we had to wait for a delivery, but afterwards EJ and I drove down to our old house. JJ couldn’t go because he had to work. Neither EJ nor I wanted to spend the night, so when we got to the house we mowed the lawn, loaded up the Buggy, and headed back up. We heard that there were bad storms–and even tornado warnings–in the area, but we encountered very little rain on our way home.
On this trip, we were able to get all but one of my potted plants–I’m so glad I have my cacti safely north. I had originally bought them in tiny pots from Walmart and now they are huge! We also brought up the missing parts of JJ’s bed, some boxes of food, some clothing, our small vacuum cleaner (which isn’t great but it’s better than nothing), a few more boxes of books, some of EJ’s tools, and our push lawn mower. We still have lots to bring up from the old house. I don’t know how we will ever get it all up here. We are taking another trip south next week, and EJ’s sister’s family is going to help us move more things the following week. I’ll be so glad when we are done with the weekend trips to the old place.
This morning we had to go to the hardware store to get a few things so EJ could hook up the washer and dryer. It was a misty, moisty day and the lake we drove by was very beautiful. As we were paying for our purchases at the store, we mentioned that we had just moved to the area–and EJ named the road we live on. The cashier asked, “So where exactly on that road do you live?” When we told her, she said that she lives just a couple of houses down from us. She’s our neighbor. We all introduced ourselves. She is the second neighbor we have met.
When we got home, EJ hooked up the washer and dryer. Yeah! In our old house we had a stackable washer/dryer in the downstairs bathroom. There was no room for the laundry baskets, so we stored them in the bathtub and took them out whenever one of us took a shower. In this new house, I actually have a real laundry room off the kitchen, and there are shelves and space for laundry baskets. I absolutely love it! I don’t love the color, but we can paint it later.
While EJ was hooking up the washer/dryer and working on other tasks in his wonderful garage shop, I used tape to mark off areas around doors, windows, and every other area where we don’t want paint when we paint the living room. I can’t wait to start painting. I really don’t like the dark blue color.
A little later I drove to the local grocery store to pick up a few things. JJ arrived home just a few minutes before I did. He said he saw the monster spider on our front porch. He agreed that it was so big we’d have to shoot it. I think I am going to name it Shelob after the spider that attacked Frodo in The Lord of the Rings. I hate spiders.
Unfamiliar Things
Last night I looked out the front door and saw a humongous spider on the porch. I texted EJ, “I just saw the biggest spider EVER on our front porch. I need a gun.” It was the size of my hand. Seriously. I took a picture of it. It’s kind of blurry because I took it through the door. There is no way I was going to open the door when it was less than a foot away. If I ever saw one of those things crawling across the floor or wall, I swear I’ll run screaming all the way back to our old house.
I suppose that every Eden has its snake and every Enchanted Forest has its giant spiders. Shudder.
I went to bed early last night because I wanted to be well rested when I drove JJ to the Emerald City for his appointment with the new oncologist. I was dreading the drive because the drive was unfamiliar to me–and I get lost very easily–and EJ and JJ have been telling me for several months how terrible the traffic is there.
Of course, when I want to be well rested, something always happens to cause a sleepless night. Always. From about 4 a.m. on–or maybe even earlier–Timmy decided he wanted lovings. Usually he and a few other cats just curl up on the bed and sleep with us, but last night Timmy was awful. He kept burrowing in the covers with me, or rubbing against me, or poking me. Ugh! I never woke fully to put him out of the room–I just kept trying to push him away. Unsuccessfully. Finally, I just gave up and got out of bed and got ready for the day.
Viki the GPS outlined the route and called out directions. JJ was also helpful because he drives part of the route to work every day and he lived in the Emerald City for a couple of months. We drove through forests, around curves, up and down hills while lakes played “peek-a-boo.” When we neared the Emerald City, we got caught in a terrible traffic jam–the worst I’ve ever seen. It made me think of the Gridlock episode in Doctor Who in which travelers were stuck in such a huge traffic jam that it took them years to travel only a couple of miles. I think it took us about an hour to drive 5 miles.
I didn’t mind so much because I had left super early for that very reason, and the traffic jam occurred right next to the bay so I could enjoy the beautiful scenery. The traffic going in the opposite direction was not jammed and cars were driving by quite quickly. I told JJ, “I hope those cars aren’t fleeing an alien invasion or a monster like Godzilla, who is crushing cars and flinging them around like toys.” In superhero or monster movies, clueless bystanders always seem to head straight into the conflict. If it was me, I’d run into a basement and hide out until the villain was defeated.
Anyway, after a long, long, slow, slow journey, the jam finally broke free and we went faster. Viki took us right to our destination. The drive really wasn’t that bad, and I now know that I can handle driving to and from and through the Emerald City.
The appointment at the oncologist was stressful because everything was so unfamiliar. There are things I liked about the new oncologist and things I didn’t. I don’t think the staff was quite as friendly as the ones we have known. I miss Chris, the patient care tech at the other center, who brightened everyone’s day with his cheerfulness. However, I liked the oncologist. He said that JJ’s treatment had been excellent at the other Cancer Center and that the doctors at Indianapolis were the very best in the world, to which we agreed. He explained things quite clearly, letting us know the plan for JJ’s followup treatment. JJ asked when he could get his port removed and the oncologist said he could get it done soon–like within 7 to 14 days. Although the procedure to have the port removed will be another stressful thing for him, he hates the port and has wanted it out for a long time.
I liked that JJ could get his blood tests right at the center instead of having to go to a separate lab. After the exam, JJ went to the infusion room and got his port flushed and blood drawn. I liked that our old Cancer Center had separate rooms and that there were extra chairs so loved ones could stay with the patient. This new place had seven wing-backed chairs (not recliners) in one room where people were getting chemo. I saw no extra chairs and no loved ones sitting with the patients. Perhaps this room was for patients who received infusions for a short time rather than hours like JJ had?
After we left the oncologists, JJ said urgently, “Now get me out of here!” He liked the doctor but being at a cancer center totally stresses him. Probably triggers PTSD. He is always rather irritable on days when we have to go to a cancer center. He dozed on the trip home and took a nap at home until it was time to go to work.
After JJ left, EJ, Danny, Tesla, and I walked to the mailbox. I didn’t run back up because I was so tired. Danny didn’t seem to mind. When we returned, EJ and I discussed what to do tomorrow. EJ has started working ten-hour days on Monday through Thursday and getting Friday off. We were going to drive down to the old house tomorrow, but we are expecting a delivery on Saturday so we have to stick around. We will drive down later on Saturday, pack more things, and then return on Sunday, I think. So tomorrow we are thinking about going to Menards. The rain runs down the hill and erodes our driveway so EJ wants to get some tile and then cover the driveway with gravel. While we are at Menards, I want to look at different types of inexpensive shelving for our library.
I was so tired that after EJ left for work, I tried to take a nap but I had barely fallen asleep when the new oncologist called to tell me that JJ’s blood tests came back clear. A good reason to be woke up. I considered trying again to nap, but I wasn’t able to get back to sleep. Oh well. I figured I’d just take the rest of the day off from unpacking, but I ended up doing a bit anyway.
JJ had to go to work an hour earlier so he got out an hour earlier. Although he was tired and stressed when he drove to work, he returned in high spirits because he had such a good day.
As for me, I’m going to go to bed early and hopefully Timmy will let me sleep.
Running
This morning I started to get out of bed but quickly lay back down–because a doe was grazing right outside our window. I watched her for several minutes as she slowly grazed and then walked into the forest. I wished I had my camera, but it was in the other room and I was afraid any movement would scare her off. I guess I’m going to have to start taking my camera to bed with me at night.
EJ and I had several errands to run this morning. First we stopped at a little bank in a nearby town to open a checking account. We wanted a closer bank for our day-to-day business because it’s too time-consumer to go to our other bank which is has no nearby branches.
After the bank, we stopped at the small lumber/hardware store to pick up the step ladder and paint for our kitchen that they had ordered for us. The guys who work there are friendly and–it’s hard to describe–but I could see them as characters in a TV series. Maybe a show like Newhart, a 1982-1990 in which Bob Newman played a character who bought and ran an inn in Vermont. I’m not saying that the guys at the lumber yard are hicks or anything like that–because they aren’t–but they seem to me to have a lot of charming character with a good dose of humor that make them interesting.
After the lumber store, we made a quick stop at the little grocery store and then headed for home. I rejoice in the fact that our daily errands take us past the most beautiful scenery ever!
I made lunch and then the guys headed for work. Because we had to run errands this morning, we didn’t get to do our mailbox run, so after the guys left Danny and I walked down to the bottom of the hill and then ran up it. I made a video of our run. We can’t yet run for very long stretches, but I’m determined that someday we will be able to run the whole distances!
After our walk/run/walk, I spent the rest of the evening putting things away. I focused on the library today. Mostly my work involved sorting and putting away papers and pencils and other doodads in the desk.
Tomorrow morning is JJ’s first appointment with his new oncologist. Ugh. I’m really dreading the drive because I’ve only driven to the grocery store and the oncologist is an hour away through the terrible traffic in the Emerald City. Hopefully Viki, our GPS, will get us there and back again in one piece.
Mailbox Run and Turkey Trot
This morning JJ, Danny and I walked down the long steep driveway to our new mail box. When JJ got his new smart phone from the cell phone store, I was given a mailing label and told that I had 14 days to return his old phone. I kept forgetting my packing tape at the old house and only yesterday remembered to buy some tape at the hardware store up here in the North. Last night I packaged it, put the label on it, and had it ready to take to the mailbox. I have always lived in towns so this was the first time in my whole life that I have ever lived in a rural area where we had to put up the flag on the mailbox to let the postal carrier know there was mail to pick up. A simple thing, really, but I think “firsts” are worth noting. JJ was happily surprised to open the mailbox and find that the computer mouse he had ordered a couple of days ago had arrived.
After JJ took the mail out of the mailbox and put our package to be mailed inside it, we looked at each other and said, “Ready? GO!” and JJ, Danny, and I took off running up the long steep driveway. We have decided that running up the driveway is a good way to exercise and get in shape. The driveway is so steep and we are so out of shape that it doesn’t take long before we are huffing and puffing and staggering to a walk. Even Danny can’t run too far up the hill. I figure if we keep at it, we will eventually be able to run up it all the way. Or else the driveway will kill us.
While we walked/ran to and from the mailbox, EJ stayed behind because he was utterly exhausted today. He just didn’t have energy for anything. We have been under tremendous stress for so long–with difficult job, abusive family, cancer, moving–that it takes its toll on us in various ways. I’ve been praying that we will have our spirits and strength restored in the Enchanted Forest.
This afternoon JJ glanced out the window and exclaimed in surprise. We joined him at the windows and watched the female turkey come right up to our house as if to check out her new neighbors. I love being able to watch wildlife come into our yard–something that doesn’t happen when living in town.
After EJ and JJ left for work, I continued unpacking and putting things away. I worked mostly in the kitchen today putting things away in the cabinets. I still have to find places for items, but most things are now put away and the kitchen is quite neat. The same is true of the living room, our bedroom, and JJ’s bedroom: I have small items to put away in drawers and dressers, but everything is mostly neat. I still have boxes of bathroom items to put away, but there aren’t many cabinets or drawers in the bathroom so I will have to figure out how to solve the lack of storage space. The library is the least orderly because I have boxes and boxes of books to unpack, but I can’t really unpack them until we get bookcases. By the end of the week I will have most of the house looking orderly…and then EJ and I will drive south to the old house and bring back more boxes and I will begin all over again.
Once we get all moved, we still will need to paint the walls, install flooring, get a mower, dismantle the hot tub, fix the driveway…there is tons of things to do yet.
At least life isn’t boring.
Unpacking
We continue to unpack and settle into our new house.
I began my morning by putting things away in the kitchen. I’m trying to get a feel for where to put things. Like…putting plates or cups where we’d expect to find them, or putting baking supplies near where I will mix ingredients, and so forth. Sometimes I put things in one place and then think, “No, that doesn’t work,” so I move them. I got a good start on the kitchen.
In our old house, we had a night stand on both sides of our bed, but in our new house there is room for only one night stand. I let JJ have the extra night stand but then I got to thinking that it would make an excellent printer stand so today I commandeered the night stand and moved it into our library. I told JJ that we could go to thrift shops later and find him a night stand. I needed totes to store blankets in so I unpacked some of my books and put them in the cabinet. I can’t unpack many of the books because EJ hasn’t had time yet to build me floor to ceiling bookcases. We still have many more boxes of books to bring up for the old house.
Between doing my own tasks, I participated in other activities. EJ, JJ, Danny, Tesla, and I walked down to the mailbox to see if we had any mail. We are trying to figure out exactly what time of day it is delivered. We didn’t have any mail at 11 a.m. It must come later. On the way back, JJ and I ran up the driveway. Well, we ran a little way. Our driveway is so long and so steep that we were huffing and puffing after a short time, so we had to walk up the rest of the way. We figure that walking/running up the driveway will be very good exercise. Much better than stupid exercise machines that try to kill me. As I was staggering up the driveway, I noticed a dung beetle rolling a ball of dung up the hill. I’ve only ever seen one in documentaries. I thought it was rather interesting.
Later, I went with EJ to a nearby hardware store. We needed several items, including a shovel so we can bury the Internet cable in our yard and a new mail box because the current mail box was dented. After we got home, I went with EJ to keep him company while he removed the old mailbox and installed the new one. The neighbor across the street saw us and came over to introduce himself. Among other things, he told us that a couple of years ago he wanted Internet so he built a tower in his yard, and our Internet goes from the ISP, to several towers, to his tower, and then to us.
I worked from early morning until late at night and only took breaks when my feet hurt so much that I could barely tolerate standing on them. Once I rested my feet a bit, I went back to work. By the end of the day, I had emptied many boxes and made much progress.
We have a pretty castle birdhouse in our yard. Or, It thought it was a birdhouse until one of the guys who helped us move said that it was actually a bee house. However, this morning I decided that it’s not a bird or bee house at all…it’s a squirrel house. I had a lot of fun watching the squirrel climbing around the castle. I watched it for a while and then ran and got my camera to video some of it.
Yawn. Time for bed!
Ugh. Moving is really hard work.
The Big Move
EJ didn’t have to work Friday so he and I drove down to our old house while JJ stayed at the new house to take care of the pets. As we drove away, we checked our mailbox and we had mail! It was the first day that mail arrived at our new address! And the mailperson had written “Welcome!” on a little note. So cool! It doesn’t take much to entertain me, but this is the first time in about 25 years that we have had mail delivered to our home. At our old house, we had to walk to the post office every day because everyone within the Village limits had post office boxes. Of course, at our new house our driveway is so long (and steep) that I have almost as far to walk for our mail as before, but, hey, it’s our own mailbox.
Anyway, we had driven several hours when JJ called to tell me that when he took Danny outside, he accidentally locked himself out of the house. Oops. JJ said he felt stupid…but who hasn’t locked himself out at one time or another? We helped him figure out how to get back into the house and he said, “Lesson learned! I’ll never do that again!”–except this morning he and I were in the garage and accidentally locked ourselves out. Oops. Fortunately EJ was in the house and could let us back in.
I’m glad EJ and I were able to drive down on Friday because we had a lot of work to do to get ready for the movers. We went to bed late and woke up early and got back to work. I packed the Xterra while EJ did other stuff to prepare for the move. About mid-morning, our movers arrived: Two of EJ’s friends as well as EJ’s nephew, his son, and his friend and his son. Besides our Xterra, we had a pickup truck, and a pickup with a large trailer. We spent several hours loading the furniture and boxes into the vehicles. We got a lot of things moved but we didn’t get it all so we will have to make another trip or two.
We all left about mid-afternoon. First friends in the pickup drove away. then about 45 minutes later EJ’s nephew and crew left, and then we left. Even though we were the last to leave, we were actually the first to arrive because the others got a bit lost. The others pulled into the driveway right behind us. Then everyone helped unload the trucks and trailer.
Meanwhile, one of EJ’s sisters had driven to our new house with food to feed us all. That was such a tremendous help because we didn’t have to worry about feeding the everyone. I’m very thankful for everyone’s help.
After everyone left, we still had work to do. EJ put together our beds. I worked hard too, but I was so tired that I really can’t remember what I did. We were totally exhausted when we finally got to bed. As we lay in bed, several cats settled around us.
We worked all day today getting settled in. We got most of the furniture in the places we think we want them. I mostly sorted through our clothes and put them away in dressers. I worked all day with only a few breaks. I had a hard time stopping for the day because I kept finding one more thing to do, and one more thing, and one more thing. I finally stopped because my feet were aching so much it was intolerable. There is still chaos in the house, with boxes everywhere. It’s going to take a while to get everything put away. And we also need to paint the walls and install new flooring. We wanted to do the painting and flooring before the move, but we ran out of time.
So, I finally quit working for the night, and I’m sort of laying on the couch with my feet up. I can look out our big living room windows and enjoy the beautiful scenery. And then I saw a doe walk out of the trees and graze. And I thought “This is why I wanted to move…I love being able to see wildlife in my yard!
First Days in the Enchanted Forest
We just got Internet installed today! Yay! I’ve been writing each day about our first week in the Enchanted Forest and I can finally post it.
Weekend, May 30-31
A week or so before we moved, I worked at hauling junk from the basement. I threw away things I knew were junk—like falling apart cabinets and old boxes. I didn’t throw away anything that I knew EJ wanted or anything that I was unsure of. This last weekend EJ continued the process—he sorted through the things he wanted to keep and the things he wanted to throw away. JJ and I mostly hauled the junk he was throwing away to the dumpster. When we were finished, the basement looked much emptier!
JJ’s phone had died last week, so Saturday we took the time to go to the cell phone company and buy him a new one. We aren’t eligible for discounted phones until our contract ends in January, so JJ planned to buy the cheapest phone he could and then upgrade it to a smart phone in January. However, we learned that there was a promotion on his phone, and if we changed our plan, he could have a smart phone with no increase in our monthly payment. So of course he got the smart phone. He loves it.
Sunday we decided what things were essential to take north with us this week. EJ crammed the Xterra so full that I think he couldn’t have packed even another toothpick.
Monday, June 1
On Monday morning we got up early and while EJ tied a few more items on the roof of the vehicles, JJ and I captured the cats, put the most aggressive ones in the three plastic carriers and the rest of the cats in the cardboard carriers I had bought from Amazon. We were on the road by 7 a.m. and the moment we started moving seven cats began meowing in harmonic protest. They protested for most of the trip but they didn’t escape from the cardboard carriers, which I had been concerned about. Only one cat messed in her cardboard carrier. Meanwhile, Danny rode with EJ in the Xterra. He was the perfect, calm, and SILENT companion.
EJ led us to our new house in the Enchanted Forest and then he got Danny out of the car before he sped off. He had to drive through heavy traffic to our bank in the Emerald City to get the money he needed for the closing and then drive back to another town for the closing. Meanwhile JJ and I got the garage door opened and released the cats from their imprisonment. When we opened the carriers, they all scrambled to hide in various parts of the garage. JJ stay in the garage to comfort the cats while I got the comfy lawn chairs unfastened from the top of the HHR and sat on the porch to enjoy our new property. Danny let it be known that he wanted in the house, but when that didn’t happen, he sat quietly at my feet.
I was considering how long I could last before I had to discreetly find an out-of-the way place to, uhm, relieve myself, when a car pulled up our driveway. It was our realtor. EJ had said he was a really nice guy; after meeting him, I thought so too. I’ve been told he doesn’t live very far from us. He unlocked the lockbox from the door of the house. We chatted a bit and he showed me a little of where our property line is before he had to leave to get to the closing. I’d like to find all the boundaries of our property, but that will have to wait until we have time.
Since the realtor hadn’t said we couldn’t go into the house, I went in to use the bathroom. Danny came in too, and then JJ and I started capturing the indoor cats and putting them inside.
The animals all reacted to the new house differently. Kee-Kee was angry and hissed for a while before he settled down and accepted his new surroundings. Little Bear explored the new house with large eyes and nervous meows. Timmy explored boldly. Luke fearfully scrambled up into the rafters of the garage and hid. Meanwhile, Danny acted as if he has always belonged here. He’s always had to be on a leash because we lived in town so I was planning to keep him on the leash until he learned to not run off. However, we quickly put aside the leash because Danny shows no desire to wander off. He follows us in and out of the house and stays close to us at all times. I only take the leash when we walk to the mailbox and put it on him just before we reach the road. We don’t want to risk him getting hit by a car. A few times Danny rolled in the grass with happiness.
After about an hour, EJ returned. The house was ours! Yay! We unloaded the Xterra. We hadn’t been able to bring much: Sleeping bags and pillows, some dishes and cups and pots, clothes, EJ’s Lazy-Boy (with his back problems, he needs to sleep comfortably), two foldable lawn chairs for JJ and me, towels, toiletries, clothes, cleaning supplies, pet supplies, and a small cooler full of food. After we finished unloading the Xterra, and looking around the house, JJ got ready for work and then we went out to eat in the Emerald City. Afterwards we dropped JJ off at his job while we went got a few groceries and air mattresses for JJ and me.
EJ and I returned home and talked and planned. Earlier, before EJ had returned from the closing, JJ and I had opened all the windows in the house. Little Bear found a ripped screen and escaped outside, but I quickly caught him and brought him back. I warned EJ about the screen, but he thought it was a different window so he opened that window. When I noticed it, I gasped, “EJ, that is the window with the ripped screen!” so we closed it quickly and counted cats to make sure they were all inside. We found three of the cats, but we couldn’t find Timmy. We searched every room, and every closet, and every possible hiding place, but no Timmy. We went outside and searched. No Timmy. Sadly, we went back inside. Then I happened to look up and saw Timmy sitting on top of the kitchen cabinets as proud as if he had won a game of hide & seek. That has become his favorite place. Silly cat.
We realized that there were no overhead lights in the living room, so on our way to pick up JJ from work, we went to a store in the Emerald City to buy a lamp. The Emerald City is very busy with traffic because it is a desirable tourist destination. It is a very beautiful city, but I wonder how I will ever learn to navigate it. We picked up JJ from work and drove home.
Back at our new home, EJ used the portable air compressor to inflate the air mattresses and I put our sheets and sleeping bags on them. JJ had gone out to the garage but still couldn’t lure Luke from the rafters. I lay on my air mattress and several of the cats settled around me. I was almost asleep when I heard EJ and JJ talking so I got up. JJ had had a nightmare about Luke in the rafters so he and his Dad went out to the garage to get him. Apparently it was quite an adventure getting him down, but they managed it and brought Luke into the house where he explored and settled down. The guys said they had heard a coyote, a screech owl, or maybe a whippoorwill outside.
I should describe our new property and house. A long driveway winds around and climbs up a steep hill to our house. Our house is in a clearing on a hill. There are forested ravines that circle the clearing like a moat around a castle. Our property includes the ravines and continues into the forest a bit. When on our property, we see no other houses–and although we can hear the occasional car drive by, we cannot see the road. We are completely hidden from the other houses and road by the trees that surround us. Alas, the trees block out our ability to see the sunrises and sunsets, but we can clearly see astronomical happenings in the night sky. The property is very beautiful and peaceful…but after lived in towns all my life, it also is strange. It would be easy to believe we were the only people in the world.
There are a lot of things I like about the house. It has a much better floor plan than the old house so that we never feel cut off from each other here. The kitchen and bathrooms don’t have as much storage space as the old house, but the closets in the bedrooms are bigger and the pantry is HUGE. The new house also has bigger windows so the house is filled with light. Our old house had narrower windows and we had to have lights on even during the day to fight the gloom.
The windows are all low so Danny can look out them. He already runs to the window looking out to the front porch and driveway when we return home. The new house isn’t as solid as our old brick house. Although it was hard work getting the firewood, I will miss our wood stove which kept us toasty warm. There are enough differences that the new house feels alien. I think it will feel more like home when we move our furniture up here. Curtains also will help the house feel more homey. The new house just has valances and blinds so even though there is no one around to look in through the windows, I know that JJ, especially, feels more exposed and vulnerable. Also, the sounds of the house are different. And the sounds outside.
In addition to the house being different, the scenery up here is different with lots of hills and valleys, trees and lakes. The climate is different too. EJ says that we are several degrees difference in latitude than where we lived before. EJ says that summer will not be as warm and that we could get 200-300 inches of snow over the winter. I cannot comprehend that much snow. Also, the towns all have unfamiliar names, and the business are different, and I do not know where anything is. Neither do I know much about country living. Everything is strange and I feel more like a tourist than a resident right now, although I know that will change soon–especially after we get our furniture moved up here. Our old village is already beginning to feel like a fading memory.
Tuesday, June 2
EJ noticed that the HHR needed new back tires so this morning we went to a tire place to get some put on. JJ will be driving this car until we find a winter-worthy vehicle so we don’t want him to have any problems. We had actually bought a used Suburban over the weekend. The mechanics at the dealership were just going to fix a few minor problems and EJ would pick it up next Saturday and stuff it full of boxes for the Big Move. However, the dealership called today to tell us that they had discovered a very major problem. We mutually cancelled the deal. We will have to find a different vehicle before winter that can handle the snow.
After the new tires were on the HHR, we went to the bank to get my name put on the account. We were going to go to a hardware store to get more house keys made and to buy paint, but the guys both had to work today and they were tired.
JJ left for work late in the afternoon. He got there all right, but made a few wrong turns in the dark on his way home. Thank goodness for Viki, our GPS! JJ is a bit spooked by all the changes in his life, not sure what he’s doing, nervous about driving to and from work. He thinks cancer sort of rattled him and made him a bit agoraphobic. I think he could be right, but he has to face his fears and conquer them so he can move forward.
EJ leaves for work a couple of hours after JJ. EJ worked his first 10 hour shift, leaving for work in the early evening and returning home the next morning.
Left alone in the evening, I puttered around doing dishes, putting some of our few possessions away. It’s very, very quiet here. I love it…but it is a bit freaky to see no roads or houses or people.
Wednesday, June 3
I was the first one up this morning and Danny wanted out so we went outside together and enjoyed the morning. Two of the outside cats—Rikki-Tikki-Tabby and Tesla–are adjusting very well to the move. They quickly learned to use the cat door in and out of the garage, and they are enjoying wandering around. They join us when we sit on our front porch. They both have followed us down the long, steep driveway when we walk to get the non-existent (so far) mail, which we preferred they didn’t do because we don’t want them to get run over by a car. I didn’t see the third cat, Annie, until last night in the garage. I was relieved because I had been beginning to think that she was a casualty of the move. This morning I spotted her in front of the garage, but as soon as she saw me she ran around the garage and into through the pet door in the back. I haven’t seen her since. I think she’s totally freaked by the North.
EJ is trying to adjust to his new shift, but he was able to sleep only 5 hours today. I worry because he said he fell asleep a couple of times on the way home from work. After he got up, I fixed a good breakfast and then we drove off to a town that is much bigger than Anatevka but is much smaller than the Emerald City. We have not yet given it a figurative name. It is where I will probably do most of my shopping. We went to the Secretary of State office—most states call it the Department of Motor Vehicles—to get our addresses officially changed on our driver’s licenses.
All week I have been quizzing us: “What’s our address?” I asked. I’m hoping that if we practice it, we will become more used to giving our new address instead of our old one. So far we can recite it quite well when we practice, but when we have to tell others we stumble over it.
We couldn’t find a hardware store, so we stopped at the nearby grocery store instead. Then we came home and ate lunch. After JJ left for work, I looked in the phone book and found the address of the local hardware store. EJ and I drove into Anatevka but couldn’t find the street so we stopped at a store for directions. The employee directed us to a different hardware store just a few miles away. We drove past a large beautiful lake that is very close to our home. We will definitely go to the park for picnics SOON.
We found the hardware store and bought a few paint supplies and got new keys made (which though they look exact, don’t work). We looked at the color samples and chose a cream-ish color for our living room, which is currently a dark blue color that we don’t like. We also brought home some color cards so we could decide what color to paint our kitchen. We almost like the red color, but not enough to keep it. We have to paint the kitchen a color that will work well with the blue counters. EJ suggested yellow, which I thought would be nice, so we brought home yellow paint cards. I don’t like pale yellow—I think it’s too cold–and I didn’t want the color to appear to be too similar to the living room, so we chose a warmer and bolder yellow. We will pick up the paint on another trip to the hardware store.
We forgot to look for mailboxes—ours is dented. We might have to go to a bigger home improvement store for the mailbox.
We were planning to rip out the carpet and get vinyl flooring installed this week, but we have been too busy and tired to take on that project so it will have to wait until after we move.
This coming Saturday is our big move. The following week we think we will return to the old house to complete some projects. The following week the furnace will be installed in the old house. We are thinking that after that we will stop working on projects and call the realtor to sell our old house.
Thursday, June 4
Early this morning I took Danny outside. We started walking down the driveway. I figure that if I can walk down the driveway and run back up several times a day, I will get in shape and lose weight. Tesla and Danny followed me down. Danny was nosing around near a line of trees when suddenly there was a cacophony of noise as a female turkey erupted from the trees. At least, I’m quite sure it was a turkey, but I have found that a lot of birds look very similar to each other. Anyway, Danny chased her across the driveway. I ordered Danny to stop, and surprisingly he did. I grabbed hold of his collar so he wouldn’t be tempted to chase the bird, who was on the other side of the driving running up toward the house. I put Danny in the house and watched as the turkey headed back to the place she had erupted from. I’m sure she probably has a nest there.
Later the Internet guy drove up. I was totally glad to see him. It’s amazing how dependent we have become on the Internet. We look up phone numbers, find locations, check the weather, connect with friends, do a variety of research…The Internet guy was friendly and it was interesting watching him get us hooked up. He walked around with an antenna to find the best connection. He had to put the satellite dish—or whatever—halfway down our driveway and then run a cable up to our house. He ran part of the cable through our forest, but we will have to bury the cable that runs across the clearing to our house. JJ is ecstatic about the new Internet–it’s much faster than we had in the south.
Ahhh! Life is good in the north.
I Love To Go A Gardening 