I Love To Go A Gardening
Growing Our Life in Northern Michigan
Tasks, Chores, and Jobs
This morning I glanced out the kitchen window and was surprised by a breathtakingly beautiful iris in our flower garden. The flower garden was planted by a previous owners and we are often surprised by what unexpectedly appears. We also are overjoyed that some flowers that we love were already here when we moved. For example, EJ always wanted climbing rose bushes. We tried to plant some at our old house but our yard was very shady so, while we did get roses, they didn’t grow as well as we hoped. We found climbing roses waiting for us when we moved into our new home and they are growing beautifully in the sunshine. At our old house, we did have a beautiful lilac bush. I love lilacs (so does EJ) and I was sad to leave it behind. Our new home doesn’t have a lilac bush–it has THREE. They are light, medium, and dark lavender. I love them! Usually I cut bouquets of lilacs and put them in vases in the house. Their fragrance is heavenly! But this year our noses were all stuffed up with our bad colds and we couldn’t smell anything so I didn’t bother cutting bouquets.
After EJ left for work this morning, I went out to the garden to put up a few more posts. Yesterday we had put up posts at the corners of each raised garden bed and then fastened chicken wire fencing to them. The previous owner had left behind raised beds that were long and narrow and four posts were not enough–the fencing sagged in the middle. So I nailed wooden posts to the middle on each side of the boxes and then nailed the fencing to the posts.
After I competed that task, I started washing clothes but I waited until after JJ left for work at 9:30 a.m. to take the wet clothes out to the clothesline. Well, actually, I had to mow the lawn before I hung up the clothes because it’s not smart to mow under and around the clothesline when there are wet clothes hanging on it. The day was perfect for mowing–beautiful sunshine and a coolish 70 degrees. I like working when the temps are cool; heat drains me. EJ had put the wheels of the new mower at a higher setting when he mowed last time because the grass was so long, but he instructed me to lower the wheels two notches before I started mowing this time, which I did.
I mowed under the clothesline first, then mowed around the chicken and duck pens to the back yard, and them the front yard. I had wanted to get all the lawn mowed, but despite the cooler temps, I could feel myself over heating, so with just a little bit to go on the far side of the hill behind the large rocks, I stopped the mower, went inside, drank tea, and sat in front of the fan for a few minutes. When I cooled down, I took the baskets of wet clothes out to hang on the clothesline and then I finished the lawn.
The lawn looked beautiful when I finished. Our neighbors mow acres of their property but even though it looks nice, mowing so much always seems to me like a waste of time, energy, and gas. We only mow up near the house and leave the rest of the property wild for habitat for wildlife.
After I finished mowing, I put the mower away and then walked down the driveway to get the mail. As I walked, I admired my anti-erosion efforts. Our hard work seems to be paying off. We were told that the first owner of our house had only a two-wheel drive car. In the winter, he had large barrels of salt placed up and down the driveway so whenever he got stuck–which was often–he would shovel salt on the driveway. I suspect that all the salt killed the plants along the driveway, which allowed rain to rush down unhindered and cut deep gullies on either side. We spent our first few months in our house shoveling topsoil and stones into the deep gullies. We spent last summer building small rock dams every few feet down the driveway to slow the rush of water. And we’ve planted grass seed, wild flowers, and lilies because plants grip the soil and prevent water from washing the soil down the hill. The following two photos–one from June 2015 and the other from this year–shows the difference. From the driveway to the right edge of the rock dams was bare ground in 2015.
As I walked back up the driveway, I noticed the berry bushes in Deer Meadow. We call it Deer Meadow because the deer often bed down there. There are many blackberry and raspberry bushes in the meadow and also along the edge of the forest near the house. I just love our property with our garden, and fruit trees, and berry bushes.
When I got back to the house with the mail, I made myself some lunch and then did a bunch of little jobs:
When we had returned home after our visits to the various garden centers on Saturday, I was surprised to find two morning glories among the other plants. I thought, well, EJ must have wanted morning glories, which is fine. Yesterday I asked him where he wanted to plant the morning glories he bought. “I didn’t buy the morning glories,” he said. “I thought YOU did.” I said, “No, you bought them.” He replied, “No I didn’t.” Somehow the morning glories made their way into our shopping cart. Oh, well. I planted them near our little deck where they can climb up the bird feeder poles. They are crimson. Maybe they will attract hummingbirds.
A few weeks ago I read that chickens do a tremendous job breaking down a compose pile. We can throw whatever into the compose pile and the chickens will eat what they want and scratch up the rest. Sounded good, so I made a small enclosure with pieces of cattle panels in the back corner of the chicken pen near the right side of the garage. The holes of chicken panels are large and the chickens went through them and scattered the scraps I threw into it all over the pen. So today I fastened chicken wire fencing to the cattle panels so the chickens can only enter/exit through the door way. I’m hoping it will cut down on the scattering. The chickens are cute because they have quickly learned that when they see me come around the right side of the garage I have possibly yummy things to eat. They all come running to the compost enclosure and wait for me.
My house had been neglected over the weekend as we worked in the garden so in the midst of my other odd jobs today, I vacuumed, swept, and mopped the floors. I brought in the dry clothes from the clothesline. I fixed supper (leftovers) and after we ate, EJ and I made a quick run to the grocery store for a couple of items–the most important was kitty litter. I was out. Then I washed dishes and folded the clothes and put them away.
I was really tired by the time I was done with all my tasks and chores and jobs. But it was a good day and a good tired. I enjoy working around home.
Our Kind of Fun
Usually we make sure we have quiet, restful Saturdays, but this Saturday became busier than we had planned. We were going to make a quick trip to our favorite nursery to buy Strawberries, Peppermint, Spearmint, Chocolate Mint, Chamomile, and Borage plants. I had seen all of these plants at the nursery when we there last weekend, but the Memorial Day rush depleted a lot of their stock. I found (and bought) Peppermint and Orange Mint plants, but no Chocolate Mint or Spearmint. I bought two flats of Strawberries, but they were ones that ripened in June and not all summer like we wanted. They no longer had any Spearmint, Chamomile, or Borage. I think EJ bought some seed potatoes and maybe one or two other items.
So we decided to drive on to Lowes. We found a couple of plants there, including a twisted apple tree–two varieties that are twisted together. We got a Braeburn twisted together with a Gala apple tree. We didn’t find Spearmint or Borage or Spearmint, so we decided to go on to Home Depot. At Home Depot we found small planters filled with Strawberry plants that ripen all summer. They were fewer than a flat and more expensive, but we bought four planters full because we want strawberries all summer. For the most part, I can’t really remember what plants we bought where, but I tried to list the plants we ended up getting:
Sweet mint
Orange mint
Chocolate Mint
Peppermint
Chamomile seeds
Aloe
Pepper plants (more of them)
Strawberries (2 varieties)
Seed Potatoes
Cantaloupe
Sunflower Seeds
Lettuce Seeds (because the other ones were in my jeans pocket and got washed)
Bok Choi (2 different kinds)
Radish seeds
Beet seeds
Braeburn/Gala Apple Tree
As you can see, a few plants we didn’t intend to buy found its way in our cart. I think going to nurseries/garden centers is a bit like going to a book store–very addicting. Those plants were added to the ones we bought last weekend:
Tomatoes
Bell and hot peppers
Watermelon
Cucumbers
Zucchini
Squash
Thyme
Basil
Oregano
Parsley
Cabbage plants
I already owned Rosemary, Bay, Sage, and Chives.
We brought our new plants home and worked together to plant them. Since we had bought more plants/seeds than planned, I was concerned that we wouldn’t have enough boxes/pots to put them in. However, we had enough–with three small pots left over. I dug up a clump of chives from the front flower garden and put it in a pot and EJ planted his new apple tree with the one he bought last weekend and the three he bought last year. We now have two twisted Braeburn/Gala trees, one twisted Honeycrisp/Honey Gold, one twisted CandyCrisp/Haralson, and an Empire. We now feel we have enough apple trees to provide us with a good supply. Now we will concentrate on cherry trees.
While we were planting, EJ noticed the ducks nibbling at the all-summer strawberry plants and they were also nibbling my chives! Not good! We aren’t planting a garden as a smorgasbord for the ducks! So we stopped our work, EJ shut the ducks into their smaller pen away from the garden, and we drove to TSC to buy two 150 foot rolls of 24-inch chicken wire fencing. Chicken wire has small holes that duck bills can’t get through. Then we came home and fenced in the strawberries.
By this time it was beginning to rain and we were really tired, so we quit for the day. A big thunderstorm rolled into the area at about 11 p.m. One clap of thunder shook our house! The storms were still going on when we went to bed but we didn’t hear them. We obviously got a ton of rain: In the morning, a kitty litter bucket (we use them for everything!) was filled to the top with rain water.
I planted the two flats of June-bearing strawberry plants this morning. I didn’t plant them yesterday because we didn’t have the fence up yet to protect them. EJ and I spent all day today fencing in all the raised garden beds. We used some of the smaller t-posts until we ran out and then EJ made posts out of wood. He put in the wooden posts while I pounded in the t-posts. I sucked at nailing the chicken wire to the wooden posts so EJ fastened the wire to them while I fastened the wire to the t-posts.
It was really hot today–about 80 degrees and humid. Ugh. Not particularly pleasant for working. Sometimes we overheated and had to take breaks. However, we worked until we got all the raised garden beds protected–about 6 p.m. or so. Even though it was hot and tiring, we both agreed that we had tons of fun. We would rather do this than almost anything.
Oh, and EJ found the time to hang up the xylophone in the coop for the chickens.
Here are some photos of our garden. You can click on them to make them bigger.
This and That
Tuesday I worked really hard in my garden, which I described in my post, Expansive Dreams. The next day I had absolutely no energy. It didn’t help that we had scattered rain showers–just enough rain that I couldn’t work outside. So I slept instead.
Later in the afternoon, the UPS delivered the metal bed frame that I had ordered. Danny was very excited and he ran up to the delivery truck door when I let him out. The UPS man gave him a couple of dog biscuits and a bit of lovings.
The package was large and heavy so I enlisted JJ to help me take it into the master bedroom. As soon as we had eaten supper, I put the bed frame together. It wasn’t difficult, but I still felt satisfied at my accomplishment. Our bed has a headboard, footboard, and side boards that fasten together. I put the metal frame inside it. I was able to connect the headboard and sideboards together, and one side of the footboard, but for some reason I couldn’t get the last corner together. The bed frame was a hair too big–although why it fit at the headboard and not the footboard, I don’t know. EJ came home as I was struggling with it–he had to work late and got home at 7:30 p.m. He worked on it a bit and finally “corn-cobbled” it together until he can work on a permanent fix at a later date. Since the metal frame and the wooden bed aren’t connected, it won’t cause us any real problems.
The bed frame is very comfortable so we might have finally solved our uncomfortable bed problem. EJ said he even woke up pain-free–although he had to plunger the toilet and that hurt his back again. But still….! There is improvement!
Yesterday was a beautiful day and I had regained my energy so I worked in my garden all day (except for a brief nap). I scrounged around in the garage and found some more wooden boxes. I took photos of some of them with my phone and sent them to EJ at work, asking if he minded if I took them. I didn’t want to take any that he wants to use for projects. I also found some pots. I arranged them on the wooden pallets I had dragged to the duck pen the other day. I gathered some old straw and put a bit in each container and then I shoveled three wheelbarrows full of dirt from our black dirt place and divided the dirt among them. I ran out of time and energy before I got all the boxes/pots filled so today I filled two more wheelbarrows with dirt and finished filling the containers and then I mixed in a little mulch in each.
Now all I have to do is get more plants to fill the containers. I would like to buy strawberries, chamomile, mint, and borage. We also need to plant the garlic and EJ’s onion sets. Oh, I finally found the package of lettuce seeds that I had misplaced. They were in my jeans pocket and went through the wash. Oops. I don’t know if they will grow now, but I planted them just in case they are still good. We will buy more lettuce seeds in case they aren’t. We will go to our favorite plant nursery on Sunday.
The ducks are doing what they are supposed to do: wandering among the pallets eating insects. I call them my Duck Patrol. The chickens are responsible for the compost pile.
Last night I was sitting at my computer when I heard a cat growling. I know what that means–and sure enough, Little Bear had a mouse in his mouth. Timmy and Luke followed Little Bear around as Little Bear growled to tell them to back off. He let the mouse go and it ran toward me so I screamed and climbed on a chair. I’m not exactly scared of mice but I don’t want them climbing up my leg either. JJ laughed. (EJ was asleep and my scream sort of woke him up). Little Bear caught it again, but then released it. I didn’t find any dead mouse body this morning so I assume the mouse got away. I wish the cats would just kill the durn rodents. At times like these I really miss our cat, Princess Winter. She didn’t really like the other cats so she mostly lived upstairs at our old house. Whenever she caught a mouse, she immediately pounced on it and killed it. Sometimes we could hear her crunching bones under our bed. Sort of gruesome, but she got the job done quickly and efficiently–no playing with mice and letting them escape.
This morning when I came back into the house after letting the ducks and chickens out of their coop, I happened to glance outside–and then I shouted, “OH, WOW, WOW, WOW! I NEED MY CAMERA!” Alerted, EJ went to the window and he was overcome with WOWs too! There was a beautiful vibrant rainbow in the sky. We agreed that it was the most vibrant rainbow we had ever seen. I went outside with my camera, but I was unable to fully capture the intense colors of the rainbow. It was much more vibrant than this photo shows. I felt as if I truly live in an Enchanted Forest.
By the way, the Jews say a beautiful blessing whenever they see a rainbow:
Baruch ata Ado-nai Elo-heinu melech ha’olam zocher ha’brit v’ne’eman bivrito v’kayam b’ma’amaro.
Blessed are You, Lord our G‑d, King of the universe, who remembers the covenant, and is faithful to His covenant, and keeps His promise.
This afternoon I talked on the telephone with one of the co-founders of the abuse ministry who wants me to join their team. He told me the vision for their ministry, and we discussed our abuse experiences and beliefs/thoughts about it. I think it’s important to make sure that we are on the same page. He planned to only talk to me for an hour, but we ended up talking for an hour and a half. He never did get around to talking about what part he would like me to play in the ministry so he is going to call back later. We will see where it goes from there.
Expansive Dreams
I have found a new theme song. Unlike the song, though, I’m the one who gave the cold to EJ–after JJ gave it to me.
Ugh. I’m so tired of being sick and cough, cough, coughing all the time!!
We have lived in our new house for two years–we moved in on June 1, 2015–and this is the first summer that we haven’t had to spend weeks driving to the old house downstate. Staying at home and putting in a garden this year is important to me so I am determined that nothing will stop me–not sickness, not coughing, nothing. I have been working hard…and taking naps when I get exhausted. I quickly run out of energy and suddenly crash.
This morning I planted the hot peppers in the boxes at the side of our little deck. They are at the end of the flower garden at the front of the house. I put the peppers and potted plants on the deck next to the flower garden so if I need to water the flower garden this summer, I can get all the plants in one shot without moving the hose around.
I hoed and yanked up the long grass along the flower garden where the mower couldn’t get. I also pulled a few weeds in the flower garden but it’s already mostly weed-free. I raked up all the weeds I pulled and threw them into the corner of the chicken pen that we are using as a compost spot. I read that the chickens will eat what they like and scratch up the stuff they don’t. They are good composters. They loved the fresh grasses.
I decided to drag more of the salvageable old pallets that the previous owners left behind into the duck pen in preparation for expanding our garden. If we don’t get the garden expanded this year, the pallets will be ready for next year–at least they won’t be mouldering in the leaves. The pallets were piled on top of each other at the edge of the forest and the ones near the bottom of the stack were almost buried in leaves. I wore gloves but I kept imagining reaching into the leaves to grab a pallet and finding a snake or dangerous spiders jumping out at me so I went into the garage and found a rope, looped it around a board, and pulled the last few pallets behind me, one by one.
Each time I dragged a pallet into the pen, the ducks eagerly explored it for insects. I dragged ten pallets into the pen, stacked them two-by-two, so I have five additional surfaces ready for boxes/pots.
The empty surfaces are calling to me and I am feeling eager to expand the garden now. I think I have just about run out of boxes, so unless EJ can bring me more, I will have to use plant pots, or the plastic store-bought window boxes we brought up from the old house. There are also three large metal wash tubs, but I don’t want to use them if EJ intends them for some other purpose. Once I gather additional planters, I will have to transport more black dirt from our black dirt area. That’s a lot of work.
But I already have some more plants to plant. I had forgotten that EJ had bought some onion sets the other day. I need to plant those. And when I weeded the flower garden this morning, I found some chives that I had forgotten were there. I want to transplant those. And then one of the garlic bulbs I bought a few weeks ago is growing and I thought, “Oh! I should plant it!”–although I don’t really know when to harvest garlic. I suppose I can learn. I also have to plant the package of lettuce seeds we bought yesterday…but I can’t remember what I did with them.
But most of all I want to buy some strawberry plants. One of my FB friends read my post yesterday about making strawberry shortcake and she asked for my shortcake recipe. I told her that I have made shortcake in the past, but I actually just prefer to make regular biscuits and cover them with strawberries. Yum. I suppose I should call it strawberry and biscuits instead of strawberry shortcake. My friend thought that was a wonderful idea, especially since she has planted strawberries in her garden. And I suddenly remembered, “Oh, I want STRAWBERRY PLANTS!” I kept trying to grow strawberries downstate, but never had much luck with them. I don’t think I had a good enough spot for them. But up here in Northern Michigan, anything is possible, even strawberries! I have to find planter boxes or pots to hold them. There are all sorts of creative ideas on the internet for strawberry planters–including pallets–but I have to have something duck-proof. I am eyeing the metal wash basins…As soon as I can figure out a container for the strawberries, and can fill it with dirt, I hope to buy strawberry plants.
This all just goes to show you that inspiration can have a domino effect–like my biscuits inspiring my friend, who inspired me with her strawberry plants. 🙂
After dragging pallets into the duck pen, I went to the old pickup truck parked at the side of the garage. Its bed is filled with junk that we plan to get rid of. Only…I have found junk to repurpose. Today I dragged out more old fencing. Most of it is not good enough to use for fencing, but I used EJ’s big red wire cutters to cut the salvageable fences in half and pushed them into the garden boxes as anti-duck fencing. The almost unusable pieces–bent and pulled out of shape–I cut and wrapped around the tomato plants as cages. They aren’t pretty, but all they have to do is hold up the tomato plants and keep hungry ducks away. I also found three real tomato cages in the garage for three of the tomato plants. I really could use more fencing, but I think I was able to find enough to protect the plants that need it most.
I found an article today about herbs being good for chickens–for digestion, stress, getting rid of insects and parasites, and all sorts of things. Any culinary herb is good for chickens. The author suggested putting extra cuttings from the herb garden in the nesting boxes. I saved the article, and then I began thinking that I would really like to plant some mint, chamomile, borage (the flowers are edible and taste like cucumber)…I had a really good herb garden downstate and would like to grow one here.
In between everything else, I did laundry today. I didn’t hang them outside to dry because there was a chance of rain. At times the clouds got dramatically dark, but it never did rain.
JJ is loving his park ranger job. The other day a little girl’s bike had a flat tire. JJ used an air compressor to inflate it. The girl was so happy that she gave him a marshmallow.
Planting
We decided we ought to make the raised garden boxes less accessible to the ducks so Sunday morning I went out and dragged some of the old pallets that the previous owner had left into the duck pen. I stacked them two high and placed the boxes on top of them.
Later, EJ and I went grocery shopping for a few things–including items for a cookout for Memorial Day. After we got home, I prepared lunch and made a potato salad for the next day. It began to rain–an amazing downpour.
Before it began raining, EJ worked some more on the lawn mower. He finally gave up on trying to fix it–at least for now. Our grass is getting longer and longer and we need results. After lunch we drove to TSC to buy a new mower. Lowes had one that was a little cheaper, but we really didn’t feel like making the long drive to Lowes. After we bought the mower, we stopped in at Meijers (it’s a store sort of like Wal-mart) to buy some vegetable plants and herbs. It was still raining so we got pretty wet browsing through their outdoor garden center. We bought some tomato, bell and hot peppers, watermelon, cucumbers, zucchini, squash, thyme, basil, oregano, parsley, and cabbage plants. There may be a couple more plants that I’m forgetting. I didn’t buy rosemary because I already have a rosemary plant–and I also have a bay plant.
We used to go to Memorial Day activities when we lived downstate, but we aren’t really aware of where ceremonies are up North. Plus, with EJ’s back hurting and us both feeling sick, we just wanted to putter around home.
Today after breakfast and several cups of coffee, I went outside to prepare the garden boxes for planting. All morning I kept coughing and coughing–deep hacking coughs that I couldn’t stop. As soon as I went outside, I vomited several times in three different places. I actually felt better afterwards. I’m still coughing, but not as constantly as before. Ugh. I hate these sinus infections and will be glad when EJ and I are feeling better. It feels as if we have been sick FOREVER!
I used old straw from the coop and put it in the bottom of the boxes. Then I spent several hours digging up black dirt from the only non-sandy area on our property. I shoveled the dirt into the wheelbarrow, wheeled it into the duck pen, and filled up the boxes. It took me lots of wheelbarrow loads. I forgot to count how many trips I made. I was exhausted by the time I was finished filling the boxes.
Meanwhile, EJ put together the new mower and mowed the lawn. He said the mower worked really well! Since the grass had gotten so long, he put the mower on a high setting. Next time we mow, he will put it on a lower setting so the grass is cut shorter.
After mowing the lawn, EJ got the charcoal grill going, and cooked the delicious steak he had bought yesterday morning. When the steaks were almost done, I started boiling the corn-on-the-cob. We also had potato salad that I had made yesterday. JJ didn’t have to work today so he went to the store and contributed with some corn chips and strawberries. I made strawberry shortcake for dessert. The meal was delicious–especially EJ’s steak!!!
After we ate, EJ and I went back to the garden to plant the veggies and herbs we had bought yesterday. EJ really wanted to help me, but his back is still hurting (poor, poor guy) so he sat in the lawn chair and handed me plants and helped me decide where to put them. When we finished, we still had room for more plants, so we decided to go to the beautiful plant nursery that isn’t very far away. It started to rain as we drove, and I was thinking we were going to have another day of looking for plants in the rain, but the rain quickly stopped. At the nursery I bought a few more pepper plants (both sweet and hot), a few more tomato plants, and lemon grass (it’s supposed to help fight cancer). I added some aspargus plants to my cart, but EJ said, “Where are you going to plant it? It needs more than a box.” I said, “Uh, I dunno.” EJ’s family grew aspargus when he was growing up, but I have never grown any. I put it back–for now–until I figure out where to plant it.
EJ bought an Empire apple tree–his favorite kind. When we got back home, I sort of helped EJ plant his apple tree. He actually dug the hole and place the tree in it–which he shouldn’t have done because it increased his pain again. Poor guy. 😦
Then we went out to the duck pen to plant the new plants. I told EJ that he didn’t have to come with me if he was in too much pain, but he said he enjoys being with me, so he sat in his chair while I planted. The ducks started eyeing the lemon grass, which was in a shallower box–and then one of them nibbled it. Grrrr! They are supposed to eat the bugs that menace our plants; they are NOT supposed to eat the plants!! I found a piece of cattle panel and leaned it against the box so the ducks can’t access it as easily. I might have to see what bits and pieces of fencing I can find to block off the shallower garden boxes.
EJ wants to keep the sweet pepper plants separated from the hot pepper plants, so we planted the sweet peppers in the raised garden and I am planting the hot pepper plants in the boxes on the front porch. I didn’t get the hot peppers planted because I was too tired. I will do it tomorrow.
I’m so excited about our garden!
After we finished our gardening, I washed the day’s dishes, set up the coffee machine for tomorrow, cleaned the litter boxes–all my regular chores. Then I dished us up some yummy strawberry shortcake.
I’m really tired!
Mercy to the Guilty
This is Day 366 of my sinus infection.
Ok, not really.
It’s actually been only a week and a half. However, it feels as if I’ve been sick for a year and a day. Breathing too deeply triggers fits of deep coughing. And I feel very fatigued. I have been taking lots of naps. EJ feels just as sick–although I think his suffering is worse because he also has intense back pain. A co-worker told him about a chiropractor who does “alternative” chirpractory (I don’t know if that’s actually a word), and EJ is considering going to him. He needs to do something to get his pain under control.
Yesterday someone shared this meme at FB:
I actually think the meme the poster shared said, “Mercy to the cruel is cruelty to the innocent.” I think that “cruelty” is one of the adjectives describing an evil person. Other adjectives that I would add would include “abuser,” “unrepentant,” “deceptive,” among many other similar words.
I got into a discussion with another commenter…until the original poster deleted her post. That made me sad because I thought the discussion was very respectful and could have done much good. Too often these days people shut down good discussions. I can’t share the actual discussion–it’s been deleted–but I would like to discuss some of the concepts that the other commenter brought up. It’s something that many Christians seem to struggle with–or maybe it’s that they repeat them without really struggling with them at all. They are concepts I run into repeatedly.
The commenter mentioned that we need to forgive people because we, ourselves, need forgiveness. She said that the Apostle Paul had done many evil things but he was forgiven.
She is correct. King David had also committed evil acts–including adultery and murder–and he also was forgiven. However, both David and Paul received forgiveness because when they were confronted with their wrongdoing, they acknowledged it and repented (turned from it). Because of their genuine repentance, they both were forgiven. Their forgiveness was a result of their repentance.
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. (1 John 1:9)
People seem to treat everyone as if they are the same. “We all sin. We all need forgiveness.” True to a point. However, there is a HUGE difference between a “normal” person who acknowledges his wrongdoing and turns from it, and an evil person who refuses to acknowledge wrongdoing and refuses to repent. I think that a major truth an abuse victim learns is that there are some people who delight in causing suffering to others. God treats the repentant and the unrepentant differently. One is humbled by his sin, the other harden’s his heart and finds pleasure in doing wrong. One receives forgiveness, the other doesn’t. The Bible says the following [Sorry about the number of verses. Uh, well, I’m not really sorry. I believe that if I just list references, many people won’t look them up so I quote entire passages in the hopes that they will be read and pondered. These are just a few of the many other verses that address these topics]:
Don’t follow the path of the wicked
or walk on the way of evildoers.
Avoid it, don’t go on it,
turn away from it, and pass on.
For they can’t sleep if they haven’t done evil,
they are robbed of sleep unless they make someone fall.
For they eat the bread of wickedness
and drink the wine of violence. (Prov 4:14-17)
Crime speaks to the wicked.
I perceive this in my heart;
before his eyes there is no fear
of God.
For, the way he sees it,
crime makes his life easy —
that is, until his wrongs are discovered;
then, he is hated.
His words are wrong and deceitful;
he has stopped being wise and doing good.
He devises trouble as he lies in bed;
so set is he on his own bad way
that he doesn’t hate evil. (Ps 36:1-4)
The wicked plots against the righteous
and grinds his teeth at him…
The wicked have unsheathed their swords,
they have strung their bows
to bring down the poor and needy,
to slaughter those whose way is upright… (Ps. 37:12, 14a)
“Now this is the judgment: the light has come into the world, but people loved the darkness rather than the light. Why? Because their actions were wicked. For everyone who does evil things hates the light and avoids it, so that his actions won’t be exposed. (John 3:19-20)
There are many other such verses. These people are not those who occasionally do wrong. They intentionally plot and plan. They do not fear God. How does God feel about these wicked people? Glad you asked:
Adonai tests the righteous;
but he hates the wicked and the lover of violence.
He will rain hot coals down on the wicked,
fire, sulfur and scorching wind
will be what they get to drink. (Ps. 11:5-6)
But by your stubbornness, by your unrepentant heart, you are storing up anger for yourself on the Day of Anger, when God’s righteous judgment will be revealed; for he will pay back each one according to his deeds. To those who seek glory, honor and immortality by perseverance in doing good, he will pay back eternal life. But to those who are self-seeking, who disobey the truth and obey evil, he will pay back wrath and anger. (Romans 25-8)
The LORD is far from the wicked,
But He hears the prayer of the righteous. (Prov 29:27)
How blessed is he whose help is the God of Jacob, Whose hope is in the LORD his God, Who made heaven and earth, The sea and all that is in them; Who keeps faith forever; Who executes justice for the oppressed; Who gives food to the hungry The LORD sets the prisoners free. The LORD opens the eyes of the blind; The LORD raises up those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous; The LORD protects the strangers; He supports the fatherless and the widow, But He thwarts the way of the wicked. (Ps 146:5-9)
The Lord is a God who avenges.
O God who avenges, shine forth.
Rise up, Judge of the earth;
pay back to the proud what they deserve.
How long, Lord, will the wicked,
how long will the wicked be jubilant?
They pour out arrogant words;
all the evildoers are full of boasting.
They crush your people, Lord;
they oppress your inheritance.
They slay the widow and the foreigner;
they murder the fatherless.
They say, “The Lord does not see;
the God of Jacob takes no notice.”
Take notice, you senseless ones among the people;
you fools, when will you become wise?
Does he who fashioned the ear not hear?
Does he who formed the eye not see?
Does he who disciplines nations not punish?
Does he who teaches mankind lack knowledge?
The Lord knows all human plans;
he knows that they are futile. (Ps 94:1-11)
We aren’t comfortable with the idea of an angry God, are we? Yet, I think it’s very comforting to observe exactly who God is angry with. He is a God who judges wickedness and is against the wicked. I think it’s very comforting that God loves those who are oppressed and needy, crushed and broken-hearted. God is NOT angry with the oppressed. He does NOT support the wicked.
The commenter I debated quoted that we are to “love our enemies” and “do good” to them.
Most people who I have encountered quickly quote “love your enemies,” but I do not believe they ever really pause to define what “love” really means. Uh…have you considered what it means?
To most, love seems to be some vague, nebulous concept that means that we are never to speak against evil, never challenge the behavior of an abuser, never say “This is wrong.” I think they think it means that because any time a victim speaks out against abuse, she is told that she is unloving and needs to forgive and “love her enemies.”
By that definition, God, the prophets, Jesus, and the Apostles were very unloving because they said some pretty harsh things. For example, this is one “woe” in a chapter (Matt.23) filled with many statements of “woe to you”:
Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean. In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness.
Not exactly a statement filled with nicely sweet “love,” is it?
So could it be that “love” is not just nice, sweet, nebulous words? Could it be that a loving person is not one who keeps silent when evil is done, but one who challenges and confronts evil, who exposes it, who stands against it? Could it be that when we speak out against evil and challenge the evildoer, we are “doing good”?
Elohim stands in the divine assembly;
there with the elohim [judges], he judges:
“How long will you go on judging unfairly,
favoring the wicked? (Selah)
Give justice to the weak and fatherless!
Uphold the rights of the wretched and poor!
Rescue the destitute and needy;
deliver them from the power of the wicked!” (Ps 82:1-4)
Open your mouth for the mute, For the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, And defend the rights of the afflicted and needy. (Prov. 31:8-9)
Have nothing to do with the deeds produced by darkness, but instead expose them. (Eph 5:11)
Whoever says to the guilty, “You are innocent,” will be cursed by peoples and denounced by nations. But it will go well with those who convict the guilty, and rich blessing will come on them. (Prov. 24:25)
Learn to do right; seek justice. Defend the oppressed.Take up the cause of the fatherless; plead the case of the widow. (Isa. 1:17)
I have been hearing a lot about a Netflix series called The Keepers so I began watching it last night. It is a 7-episode documentary that explores the unsolved murder of the nun Sister Cathy Cesnik who taught at Archbishop Keough High School, and how her former students believe that there was a cover up by authorities after Cesnik suspected that the priest at the school, A. Joseph Maskell, was guilty of sexual abuse. It’s a very horrific and heartbreaking series to watch, but very eye-opening. It is a very important series to watch.
I remember years ago when numerous stories began to surface of sexual abuse within the Catholic church. I thought it was horrific–but I’m not Catholic. Catholics were “them” and it’s not surprising that “they” would cover up sexual abuse. “My” denomination wouldn’t do such things. Or so I thought. I think everyone would like to think that “my” church, family, or organization are safe places filled with good people and such things couldn’t happen there.
As I experienced abuse and began to research it, I began to realize that most sexual predators know their victims and many are in positions of trust: family members, family friends, teachers, pastors, counselors, children’s leaders. As I have said many times before, predators go where they can find prey, and their favorite hunting grounds are churches, schools, children’s clubs, counseling offices.
Christians do not want to hear this. Whenever a person tries to speak out about abuse in the church, he/she is immediately accused of being unloving, unforgiving, judgmental, unChristlike, bitter, angry. She (or he) is instructed that she must “love her enemies.” I’ve almost never heard anyone express any concern for the victim or mention anything about showing the victim love, mercy, and justice. In fact, Biblical concepts have become twisted: challenging evil is seen as unloving, longing for justice is seen as being judgmental, repentance is legalistic. This is not what the Bible says–go back through and re-read the Scriptures I have shared if you need to. Or do your own research. Look beyond the few verses you always look at.
Woe to those who call evil good
and good evil,
who put darkness for light
and light for darkness,
who put bitter for sweet
and sweet for bitter. (Isa 5:20)
By the way, I think it’s more important to pursue righteousness–to do what is right–than to cover up evil in order to protect the reputation of a family, group, church, or organization.
I watched three episodes of The Keepers last night and I was so troubled that I had trouble sleeping. I ended up having a nightmare in which a woman was abusing her foster kids. “Stop!” I cried. “Don’t do this! What you are doing is wrong! It is not right!”
Indeed.
Here are a couple excellent links posted at the Church Protect site:
WHY CHILD RAPISTS ARE TREATED FAR BETTER THAN THEIR VICTIMS IN THE CHURCH
The Xylophone
EJ went back to work today–although between his coughing and our uncomfortable bed, he didn’t get much sleep last night. He could barely walk this morning, but he couldn’t miss another day of work. I prayed for him constantly throughout the day. He made it through the day, which is an improvement.
This sure is a nasty sickness! EJ says his lungs feel as if they are burning. I can’t take a deep breath without triggering a terrible coughing fit. I didn’t sleep well last night either, and I kept coughing when I went to bed tonight and I didn’t want to keep EJ awake so I decided that I might as well come out to write. If I continue to cough, I will sleep on the couch tonight so he can sleep. EJ said that one of his co-workers told him that his wife had the same symptoms we have and she didn’t get rid of the sinus infection for three weeks. Ugh.
Despite the coughing, I’m feeling better. I was still going to take it easy today and maybe take a nap or two, but I ended up doing a lot of stuff–more than I had planned.
First of all, I dismantled the platform EJ had made for our bed. We have been having a lot of trouble sleeping comfortably. Even I, who don’t struggle with back problems, wake up with a sore back. I have never had such problems with a bed before we moved up here. I suspect maybe something got damaged in the move. The problem is that we can’t figure out the source. We have made several “tweaks,” including buying a box springs (we had to leave our old one downstate because we couldn’t get it out of the house…long-ish story), buying a memory foam topper, building a platform, and buying a new mattress. Our tweaks help a little, but not enough. We are running out of things to tweak. Last night we moved the memory foam topper to see if that would help, but EJ could barely walk this morning. So after he left for work, I removed the platform and later ordered a sturdy metal bed frame that had high reviews. Maybe that will work. I hope so. Until the bed frame arrives, I put the box springs on the floor inside our wooden bed frame with the mattress and topper on top. I think it felt more comfortable, but couldn’t stop coughing enough to really check it out. The biggest problem is getting out of bed because the sides of the bed are a bit higher than the box springs and mattress.
In addition to dismantling the bed platform, I maneuvered the box springs and mattress inside the wooden bed frame, washed the mattress covers, sort of worked at organizing EJ’s garage just a little bit, cleaned the house, and took the house plants outside. I think it’s warm enough now that we won’t get any frost. I did my regular poultry chores, including cleaning their coop a bit, and I walked down the driveway to get the mail. I made potato salad and hamburgers for supper. I also looked on-line for an inexpensive lawn mower in case we can’t get the mower started and we have to buy a new one. One way or another, I want to mow the lawn this weekend. The grass is getting long. I read at FB that it’s possible to rent a goat to keep a lawn short, but EJ was against that. (LOL). I might have done a few more things. Or not. I can’t really remember. I know I did a lot and I didn’t get a nap.
At 5 p.m. tonight the UPS Man arrived with our package. He gave Danny two dog treats. Danny loved that! The package contained vacuum cleaner bags, a book for EJ, and the xylophone for the chickens. I was in the middle of cooking supper so I had to wait to take it out to them. Once we had eaten, I took it out to the coop. Chickens are always wary of anything new, but Henny Penny did peck it a few times. She is my favorite hen because she always comes running when she sees me. She also is the most willing to try new things. Of course, I videoed the chickens’ first encounter with the xylophone:
The ducks wondered what all the fuss was about, so after I left the chicken pen, I showed them the xylophone. They nibbled it a little, but lost interested when they saw it wasn’t something to eat. I think the ducks prefer eating and talking.
We had a bit of rain this evening, which is good. We need rain.
Feeling Mighty Low
I think yesterday–I can’t even remember what day it was…Sunday?–was the low point for me as far as this sinus infection goes. I felt weak and tired. I kept coughing deep wracking coughs and I couldn’t breathe through my nose at all. When I tried to get up, I faint and a bit nauseous. It was awful. I didn’t even want to watch Netflix because it sounded too noisy.
Even though EJ is also sick–and in pain from his back–he took care of me. I think that though he felt bad, he felt slightly less bad. He did the dishes and cooked us a simple broth soup, which neither of us could taste because our noses were all stuffed up. EJ also came outside with me to gather the eggs. I didn’t want to go alone because I was afraid I’d faint, but he didn’t know where the ducks and chickens laid their eggs and he couldn’t have reached down to retrieve them with his back as it is so we went together. I gathered the eggs and he was there in case I fainted or vomited.
JJ agreed to put the poultry in their coop for the night, but since he had never done it before, I went with him to show him how. I think he rather enjoyed herding the ducks into the coop. All a person really has to do is get them started and they waddle into the coop themselves. Tonight I was a distance from them and I just pointed my rooster whacker cane at them and they waddled off to their coop. Ducks are goofy, but not stupid.
JJ said several times over the last few days, “You could go to the doctor, you know.” However, I’m 99.999999% sure that I have the same sickness as he did so I simply followed the advice his doctor had given him: which was to take an OTC medication (can’t remember the name–we bought the store brand), drink hot lemon water with honey in it, and get plenty of rest. The only thing I didn’t have was the Flonase, but EJ said it could be bought at the store without a prescription. I bought some this afternoon, so I’m good. I’m doing everything the doctor told JJ to do AND I have put Vicks on my throat.
I slept most of this morning, and when I woke, I noticed much improvement. Which is very good because EJ had a doctor’s appointment at 4:15 p.m. and he was feeling bad enough today that he needed me to drive him there. EJ has to be feeling pretty bad to want me to drive–not because I’m a terrible driver (I’m not), but because he likes to drive and I like to let him drive so I can enjoy the scenery and take photos.
We took the Xterra to the doctors because the parking lot at the doctor’s is narrow and EJ said that it’s sometimes difficult to pull out of the parking space in the Suburban. The Xterra is shorter. I stayed in the Xterra while EJ went in for his appointment. I could relax, read my book, sip my tea, and not annoy other patients with my cough, which is still terrible.
When EJ came out, he said that the doctor had given him a new prescription for his pain meds and cleared him to go to work tomorrow. We stopped at the store on the way home so he could get his prescription filled. I bought some Flonase for me.
I felt well enough that I was able to do some laundry, and fix supper, do dishes, and put the ducks and chickens in their coop for the night. I’m definitely beginning to come out of it.
JJ only was sick for four days. I have been sick for almost a week. I’m hoping EJ will feel better tomorrow so he won’t have a difficult day at work. Poor guy.
Sicker than a Dog
So I’ve been sitting here thinking “I feel sicker than a dog.” Then I thought that I have never seen a dog as sick as I am so, being who I am even when I’m sick,” I googled “sicker than a dog origin.” All I really found was that
There are several expressions of the form sick as a …, that date from the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries. Sick as a dog is actually the oldest of them, recorded from 1705; it is probably no more than an attempt to give force to a strongly worded statement of physical unhappiness.
Well, duh. I thought I’d find an interesting origin story, but all I found was that it means “a strongly worded statement of physical unhappiness.” Ok. I am sicker than a dog.
I thought I was feeling slightly better yesterday, as if–though still sick–I had turned a corner. No food seemed appealing but I made us some soup. We were almost out of fake NyQuil (the store brand), and we were all out of stuff to make a hot lemon drink with honey and ginger, and we didn’t have any frozen burritos–which EJ calls “bachelor chow.” We keep frozen burritos in the freezer for those days when, for whatever reason, we need a quick no-fuss meal; we can just throw a few in the oven. Anyway, I decided to go to the store to gather more provisions while I was feeling a slight upturn.
As soon as I turned the suburban onto the road, I thought, “I have no business driving” because I felt woozy and sluggish. It’s only a couple of miles to the grocery store, so I focused on keeping the sub between the lines of the road. I made it to the store, grabbed a small cart, and entered the store, and then I stood there for a minute and thought, “Why did I come to the store? What was I supposed to get? Who sent me?” I almost texted EJ to ask him what I was supposed to get, but then I remembered. I got a few other things too. Ground beef was on sale. I bought some paper towels. Cat food. And other things.
I took my small cart up to the cashier, and the bagger asked, “Paper or plastic?” They should know by now that we always want paper, shouldn’t they? But I dutifully said, “Paper” and then the bagger asked if I wanted help carrying out my groceries or if I would like my groceries in a bigger cart, and I just stood there while my mind sluggishly worked out the English meaning of the English words she was using. I finally told her that I could carry out my own groceries (thanks) but maybe I could use a bigger cart. So she got me one and I paid for my groceries, and I drove home, focusing on keeping the suburban between the lines in the road.
And the rest of the day I felt sicker than a dog.
But I still washed the dishes and did a couple loads of laundry. I did the laundry because EJ brought me a cup of fake NyQuil but he filled the little cup too full and some of it spilled on my soft fuzzy bear blanket and on my clothes. So I had to change and do laundry so I wouldn’t have fake NyQuil stains on my blanket and clothes.
I felt a little sorry for myself that when I get sick, I still have to go to the store, and wash dishes, and do some laundry, and take care of chickens and ducks, and make us hot meals and hot lemon drinks with honey and ginger. But I feel more sorry for poor EJ is sick too PLUS he has his aching back to deal with PLUS he has to go to work on Monday. Poor guy. We are trying to take care of each other. (Meanwhile, JJ is on the definite upswing. He went to the theater with a friend last night to watch Guardian of the Galaxy 2. They watched it on IMAX and 3D. He said it was awesome.)
I feel sicker than a dog, and keep coughing until I almost barf, and then I shiver with cold. Meanwhile, EJ says he feels hot and is “sweating like a pig.” I was determined not to look up the origin of “sweating like a pig,” but I did–of course I did–and it has a cooler origin story than “sicker than a dog”:
Pigs don’t sweat much, so they wallow in the mud to cool off their bodies. So how did the English language expression “sweating like a pig” develop? It’s actually a reference to pig iron, which is form of iron smelting:
When pig iron is originally created from iron ore, the smelter needs to heat the ore to extreme temperatures, and then move the liquid metal into the mold. Until the liquid cools, it can’t be safely moved, as the extremely hot metal is liable to spill, burning whatever it comes in contact with.
How does the smelter know when the metal is cool enough to transport? When the “pigs” “sweat.” As the metal cools, the air around it reaches the dew point, causing droplets to form on the metal’s surface.
So there ya go.
EJ lay in his lazyboy yesterday with the fan pointed at him and I lay on the couch wrapped in granny’s quilt (until my fuzzy bear blanket was washed and dried), and we watched Netflix. We finished the series we were watching–The Travelers. It was only one season (so far?) and ended on a cliffhanger, which I groaned about. Then I went searching for another Netflix series. I noticed that Sherlock had new episodes so we watched two of them.
Today is probably going to be spent much like yesterday, although I’m not going to drive anywhere. I think I feel worse today than yesterday.
Oh, yesterday I ordered a child’s xylophone from Amazon for the chickens. This is how sick my mind is. Actually, we’ve been wanting to get one ever since we saw a video of chickens playing with one. We intended to get one at Goodwill, but all we could find is the battery operated keyboards. Anyway, stay tuned for my chickens’ recital. 🙂
Sick Days
JJ is feeling much better. He went back to work on Wednesday. I don’t think he has worked since because we’ve had enough rain that he wasn’t needed. He can’t clean out campsites in the rain.
EJ also went back to work on Wednesday even though he was still suffering back pain. He came home a couple of hours later and said that his company made an appointment for him that afternoon with an occupational doctor. I went with EJ just in case he needed me to drive him home–although I’m not sure I would have been much use since my brain was getting fuzzy with the sinus infection JJ gave me. I waited in the waiting room with EJ until he was called back to the exam room–then I went and sat in the sub to wait for him. The wind was strong and blew clouds of dust across the parking lot.
The doctor put EJ on a restriction until Monday of not lifting more than 15 pounds. That’s not much. EJ went to work on Thursday, but the company told him to just stay home until Monday.
Meanwhile, I have gotten sicker and sicker with the stupid sinus infection. I could feel my sinuses pounding, I’ve shivered with a fever, I have a deep hacking cough, and all I want to do is sleep. I am sleeping a lot! I don’t think that I have been this sick since before JJ was diagnosed with cancer. JJ said, “Maybe you should go to the doctor!” but I replied that all I have to do is follow the instructions the doctor gave JJ. They include drinking a hot lemon drink with honey and OTC sinus medicine. The only thing I don’t have is flonase (spelling?) but I don’t need that.
Thursday night EJ and I tried to put the ducks and chickens in their coop early so I could go to bed early. Usually I don’t shut them up for the night until the chickens go into the coop. They always settle themselves in their coop at twilight so all I have to do is count them to make sure they are all in and then shut their little door. The ducks are usually still outside at twilight, but they quickly waddle into their coop when I start to herd them. Well, although the chickens put themselves into their coop, they don’t go until they are good and ready, and they refuse to be “herded.” I waited inside the coop while EJ tried to nudge them into the coop, but they refused to go. So we had to give up and wait until twilight. As soon as they were settled down, I herded the ducks in and then went to bed.
It’s a good thing EJ has a few days off because he is coming down with the sinus infection. Hopefully he will be mostly over it by Monday. Mostly I am praying that his back stops hurting him. He has been in such agony.
Another Busy Day
My guys both stayed home from work again today.
EJ’s back was S-shaped, which means his back was complete out and he was in much pain. As soon as the pharmacy was opened, we went to pick up the prescription that his doctor had ordered for him. I told EJ that I was willing to go get it, but he wanted to go with me. I think that when people live with chronic pain or illness, they want to do as much as they can. While we were at the pharmacy, I asked about JJ’s prescription but I wasn’t surprised when I was told that it wouldn’t get there until early afternoon. I would have waited to get EJ meds so I could combined trips, but EJ really needed the medication asap.
We drove home and acouple of hours later, I was back on the road again. This time I insisted that EJ stay home and rest his back.
I went to TSC and bought a new duck pool. Actually it is a dog pool, but the ducks don’t know the difference.
Then I drove to the locally-owned farm store and bought some more Michigan Roadside Mix and Wildlife Habitat Mix seed. I am waiting for another rainy day before I scatter it about.
The I drove to the pharmacy to pick up JJ’s prescription. Our pharmacy is in a grocery store, so I picked up some bananas for EJ and another watermelon for the poultry. The pharmacy was in a different town than the feed/seed stores but I never mind driving around here in Northern Michigan because it is so beautiful with so many forests and lakes.
I would have picked up JJ’s medication first, before TSC and the farm store, but I know the way from the farm store to the pharmacy better than I know the way from the pharmacy to the farm store. That sound silly, but from the farm store I just have to keep driving straight–not turning on the road that leads home–until I get to the town. Once in the town, I can easily find the pharmacy. However, while I know which road leads home, I’m not sure exactly which road leads from the town to the farm store. People who are directionally challenged will understand this. Those who don’t get easily lost just have no idea what the world looks like for people like me.
Then I went home. I unloaded the suburban and took the new duck pool to their pen. I filled it up for them. I did see a couple of them in the new pool, but mostly they stuck to the old one. Ducks and chickens are really funny because they are so suspicious of anything new.
JJ took his medication and a bit later he said he was feeling much better. He’s still not completely well, but I suspect he will feel well enough to go to work tomorrow. Hopefully EJ will too. Poor EJ has been in so much pain. He can’t get comfortable anywhere.
Poor EJ has been in so much pain that he hasn’t been able to work on my lawn mower. The grass is getting longer and longer. If he can’t work on it this weekend, I am tempted to buy a mower. If he gets the old one going, we can always use it for back up–or two of us can mow the lawn at the same time and get it done double fast.
I was so busy today that I didn’t have a chance to take any photos. But here is a photo I took on May 11th. I pass this lake every time I drive to the farm store. I never get tired of it:
Watermelon is for the Birds
Both my guys stayed home from work today.
EJ suffers from chronic back pain because of an injury years ago. He always has pain, but sometimes it is tolerable and sometimes not. He’s been experiencing worse than normal pain for several weeks. Although he had fun fishing with his friend on Saturday, the bumpy road to the lake and the boat pounding across the waves was not good for his back. Sunday he was in agony and this morning he could barely walk. He was going to try to make it to work anyway, but I recommended that he stay home, so he did. I also suggested it might be time for him to call his doctor to see if she could help him with the pain. I think he has suffered long enough. So he called his doctor today and she called in a prescription but by the time her office notified EJ, the pharmacy was already closed for the day. I will have to go pick it up tomorrow.
JJ is sick. He went to work yesterday, but his boss sent him home because he looked so terrible. He stayed home today and fortunately he was able to get an appointment with his doctor today at 12:45 p.m. I drove him to the appointment. The doctor said he has a sinus infection. He also took a culture to see if JJ has strep throat. After the doctor appointment, we drove to the pharmacy to pick up his prescriptions. He was able to get one filled, but they had to order the other, which will come in tomorrow. So I will be picking up prescriptions for both EJ and JJ tomorrow.
In between caring for my guys, I got a couple loads of laundry washed. As I was coming back in the house after hanging the clothes on the clothesline, I saw a big wolf spider lurking on the threshold. If I opened the door, it could very easy scramble into the house. So I found a shoe on the porch and smashed it.
Later EJ walked down with me to get the mail. Sometimes it helps his back if he can walk a little. As we left the house, I saw a wolf spider on the pavement in front of the garage. I stepped on it. EJ thinks I am a horrible spider serial killer…which I sort of am. But the wolf spiders and I are at war. My guys don’t realize that each spider has billions of babies, and the babies grow up and have billions of babies. My stepping on a few of them will prevent all those spiders having billions an billions and billions of descendants. I will help save our world from being overrun by spiders. I think I should be given a medal.
Yesterday I had to go to the store to get JJ some medicine. JJ was sleeping when I got home, so I put the medicine aside and began cutting up the watermelon. Later I cut it up. EJ was talking to his friend as he walked out to the kitchen. I saw him looking at the watermelon, so I said, “I bought this for the chickens and ducks.” He said to his friend, “TJ bought a watermelon and I thought she was cutting up some for me, but she just told me that she bought it for the ducks and chickens.” I said, “Yes, because this is Mother’s Day and most of the chickens and ducks are mothers–well, sort of…they lay eggs.” So he told that to his friend and they started joking that I valued EJ less than the chickens and ducks, and less than Danny, and don’t forget that he’s less priority than the cats. I told him that he was maybe a little higher than the ducks, but not the chickens, dog, or cats. Silly guy–he knows how much I love him. He doesn’t even like watermelon all that much. But I did cut him and JJ up a small bowl of watermelon. I took the rest out to poultry. They loved it.
This afternoon I gave the birds the rest of the watermelon. I noticed that the ducks food bucket was a little low so I went into the garage to get more…and discovered that all the food buckets were empty. I decided to drive in to the farm store to get more. I really didn’t want to go to the farm store, but today I didn’t think I had enough food to last until next weekend. Unlike the schedule JJ had at the grocery store–he usually worked from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m.–his work hours at the new job are similar to EJ’s, which means with both of them at work, I don’t have transportation during the day. So I had to get the food today. JJ begged me to fill the Buggy up at the gas station. I sighed, but I took his debit card and got him gas and then drove on to the farm store. I got three bags of poultry feed and one bag of “feather fixer” feed to give the chickens extra nutrition while they are molting. They are looking really ugly right now and I’m eager for them to get back their feathers. I also bought some straw.
When I got home, I lugged the four 50 pound bags into the garage. I left the straw in the buggy for now because it is super heavy and I was getting tired.
When I got into the house, my guys were hungry, so I fixed them supper, washed the dishes, then sat and watched a program on Netflix. It’s a new series that I’ve begun watching. I’m up to the sixth episode, but EJ grew interested in it, so I started the series over so he could watch it with me.
After we watched the pilot episode, I went outside and scattered the Wildlife Habitat seed on our hills. EJ wanted to come outside with me, so I divided the seed so he could scatter some too. It’s supposed to rain tonight, so I thought it would be a good time to plant it. I hope we get a good amount of rain because the lilies are very thirsty. When our seed bags were emptied, we came inside and watched episode 2 of the Netflix program. Then it was time to go out and put my birdies into the coop.
Today was a super busy day.
I’m tired.
Let Our Joy Last
JJ started his new job as a park ranger yesterday. Before he left home, he was both excited and nervous. I told him that he would do fine…and, of course, he did. He told us later that he loves the job. He said that the park is really quite large with many campground areas. His duties include signing arriving campers in, selling fishing licenses, collecting boater fees, delivering bundles of firewood, and all the other tasks that staff do at campgrounds. He gets to drive around in the little golf cart, which he thinks is a blast.
Tonight when he returned home, he said that he will be alternating a six-day week with a five day week. He said the job keeps him busy and is quite physical. The fresh air and hard work in the beautiful surroundings will be good for him.
Today EJ went fishing with a new friend and they had a great time. He said the guy is a nice guy and they have a lot in common. At the end of the day, the guy stopped in at our house because he is considering getting some poultry and wanted to see my set up and ask me questions about my ducks and chickens. I proudly showed off my birds and coop and answered the questions as best I could.
I’m really glad that EJ and JJ are having wonderful days. After all we have been through, I think they deserve some good times. Sometimes I pray Psalms 90:15 for my family:
Let our joy last as long as the time you made us suffer,
for as many years as we experienced trouble. (Ps 90:15 CJB)
I spent the day without my guys, but it was still good. It rained a little this morning–not downpour or steady long-lasting rain, but enough to give all the plants a drink. I had been waiting for it to rain before scattering my seeds. I took the bag of Michigan Roadside Mix and scattered it down one side of the driveway and back up the other. I could use another bag. EJ said that we could get more.
I didn’t scatter the Wildlife Habitat seed yet because I wanted time to consider where I want it. I don’t want to plant it along the driveway because I don’t want the deer to hinder my erosion control efforts by munching on the plants. I want to plant the seeds to attract deer, turkeys, or other wildlife within sight of the house so we can watch them. Buying this seed was probably unnecessary, but I really love attracting wildlife.
The other day I commented on a couple of things at an abuse site with a ministry that seeks to educate churches about child predators and to support victims. The founders of the ministry thought I have a real gift of communicating truth. They offered me the opportunity to work with them. I feel very passionate about supporting abuse victims and educating the church/Christians about abuse, but….Yikes. It’s a big step and I don’t want to bit off more than I can chew. I will consider it and probably talk on the phone to the co-founder of the ministry this next week.
Yikes.
Life is full of surprises.
Curiosity
Yesterday the temperatures warmed up again–into the 60s–so I was able to open the windows. Yay! We are supposed to have sunshine and nice temperatures for the next several days. I like these temps because it’s warm enough to not have to wear coats, but it’s cool enough to enjoy working outside without overheating. The only negative thing about the sunshine is that my lilies along the driveway are getting a little droopy with thirst. The problem with sandy soil is that it doesn’t hold moisture so we need frequent rain to keep plants watered. I’m hoping for more rain soon. I can’t exactly water both sides of our 500 foot driveway with a hose.
This morning, as I always do, I drank a cup of coffee to make myself halfway functional and then I went outside to feed Annie, our outside cat, and release the ducks and chickens from their coop. They are always so happy to get outside! I filled the ducks’ swimming pool, filled the ducks and chickens’ water buckets, and made sure everyone had food.
Usually when I come back inside, I enjoy more cups of coffee and FB and sometimes talk to EJ until he goes to work. Sometimes we are both too drowsy for conversation so we sit together in comfortable silence. This morning I started laundry before I sat down. I wanted it get it done early and hung out on the clothesline because JJ and I had errands to do this afternoon.
Several hours later JJ came “whooping” out of his room. (He is a night owl so he sleeps late.) He had been getting nervous because he hadn’t yet heard from his new employers about when he was supposed to begin working. But they called today and he begins his new park ranger job tomorrow. Whoo hoo!
JJ wanted to buy some new hiking boots and a few other things so as soon as he was ready, we drove off. The road he had to turn on to reach the park where he will be working was on the way so we decided to drive there first so he will know exactly where the park is. The route was beautiful. We went past orchards filled with thousands of cherry trees all in bloom. Our whole region of Michigan is filled with cherry orchards, which is why it’s called the “Cherry Capital of the World.” In the Spring all those cherry trees blossom, and its breathtaking.
I took a few photos on our way to the park, but I mostly had to focus helping JJ find the park. I was able to take more photos on the way home. JJ exclaimed, “I get to drive this beautiful route every day!” When we saw the beautiful park where he will be working, he said, “I’m actually getting paid to work here!” I think he will be taking park fees, selling fishing licenses, and keeping the park clean.
After supper I went back to the store with EJ because he needed to buy a fishing license. He’s going fishing with a friend on Saturday. We had told him how beautiful the park is so on the way home, he detoured to take a look. I hadn’t realized until then that there is camping at the park as well as boating, fishing, and picnicking.
After we left the park this afternoon, JJ and I drove to Meijers so JJ could buy some shoes, foods for his work lunch, and a few other items. I bought a couple of items too. As we were walking up to the checkout lanes, we passed refrigerated shelves with various drinks in them. One cola caught our eye: It’s name was “Curiosity Cola.” “What do you think it tastes like?” we asked each other curiously. “I don’t know. Should we buy a couple of bottles and try it?” JJ decided that he would buy us each a bottle. I told him, “You know this will probably kill us, right?” He asked, “Why do you say that?” I replied, “Because everyone knows that ‘Curiosity killed the cat.'” He stated, “But we aren’t cats.” True, but we are very cat-ish. Well, curiosity might have killed the cat, but satisfaction brought him back. We opened the bottles of Curiosity when we got out to the buggy and both took a swig. We looked at each other in amazement. Oh, my goodness! It was absolutely delicious! The best ever! We drank it down but with great self-control I saved a little bit of mine so EJ could have a taste when he got home. He loved it too! The stores in our area have such interesting items that I’ve seen no other place!
On the way home, we stopped at the little feed store and I bought a bag of “Michigan Roadside Mix” seeds and “Wildlife Habitat Mix” seeds. This little locally own store grows its own seed. The seeds are in bins and we scoop out the amount we want into bags they provide. I can’t wait to plant the seeds. I will probably scatter the Roadside mix along the driveway because I don’t exactly want to encourage deer to eat my erosion control plants. I haven’t decided where to scatter the Wildlife Habitat Mix. I would like to have it grow somewhere where I can watch the deer, turkeys, and other wildlife feast.
Yesterday a relative shared a video of her dog, Maggie. Apparently, Maggie loves to watch the videos I make of my ducks and chickens. Maggie’s owner said that “She’ll watch them as long as I will! She is such a sweet dog, but she is a herder so she wants to be involved in everything that’s going on.” Later she added, “I just sat down on the couch and brought my laptop over here with me and Maggie’s so excited! She thinks she’s going to see the ducks again! It’s closed and on the end table and she just keeps staring at it.” I thought the video (and photo) was so adorable that I asked if I could share it and was given permission. Here is Maggie watching one of my videos:
Isn’t Maggie adorable? She is my biggest fan. 🙂
Nancy Drew and The Matrix
![Nancy Drew 06: The Secret of Red Gate Farm by [Keene, Carolyn]](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/51%2BcRcnPjOL.jpg)
I loved the Nancy Drew book series when I was a child. When I outgrew the books, I put all my Nancy Drew books in a large box to save for my daughter. I still have the books but I never had a daughter so I guess I’m now saving them for a future granddaughter(s). Years ago when we were talking about the books we loved as children, I told EJ about Nancy Drew and her incredible ability to discover a mystery in the most common events and situations. For example, in one book–I think it was called The Secret of Red Gate Farm–a clerk refused to sell Nancy Drew the last bottle of a beautifully scented perfume. Nancy found this odd, suspected a mystery, and investigated it. She discovered a ring of counterfeiters, and she brought it down. Yay, Nancy!
Over the years I have occasionally stated to EJ that I am absolutely NOT like Nancy Drew because I would not find something trivial–like a clerk refusing to sell me the last bottle of perfume–to be odd, mysterious, or worth investigating. I would just assume something normal and innocent–like that it was promised to another customer who was coming later to pick it up. Sometimes when I realized that I had not noticed something important or had been deceived, I’ve exclaimed, “Ugh! Unlike me, Nancy Drew would have suspected this and investigated it! I am SO not Nancy Drew.”
Why am I telling you about Nancy Drew?
It has to do with ignorance, knowledge, and denial. (In this post I’m not talking about the wicked people themselves, but those who are ignorant or in denial. If you want to learn about the wicked–the wolves in sheep’s clothing–click on the title of this excellent podcast from Church Protect: “The Wolves Among Us“)
In recent months, I’ve read articles about people who noticed odd situations, realized something was not right, and did something about it. One article was about a flight attendant who noticed a teenage girl with greasy blonde hair sitting next to a well dressed older man. Not being Nancy Drew, I probably would have assumed that the girl was being a surly teen who liked the “grunge” look. However, the flight attendant said the difference in age and appearance between the traveling companions seemed suspicious to her at the time. The flight attendant was especially struck by the demeanor of the girl who looked like “she had been through pure hell.” The man became defensive when the flight attendant tried to talk to the girl, so she managed to convince the girl to go to the bathroom where she had left her a note stuck to the mirror. The girl wrote on the back of the note that she needed help. The flight attendant immediately reported the man to the pilot who then alerted police. By the time the flight touched down in San Francisco, cops were waiting at the terminal. It was then revealed that the girl was the victim of human trafficking and the flight attendant had just saved her life.
The other article was about an Uber driver who picked up a girl and two women. He became concerned when he overheard their conversation. “They started like talking, like saying everything that was going on. Like what they’re doing, child sex trafficking,” the driver said. After dropping them off at a Holiday Inn, he called the police and this girl also was saved from sex trafficking.
Both these people were like Nancy Drew. They sensed something wrong, acted upon it, and saved a life. Amazing.
I think many of us start out very ignorant about abuse. There is nothing particularly wrong with ignorance. “Ignorance” merely means that we lack information or knowledge. Since none of us knows everything about everything there is to know, we are all ignorant about things. Like…I’m ignorant about quantum physics, how to play a musical instrument, how to sew (although I can crochet), and how to fix evil decepticon lawn mowers, to name just a few things. I can choose to learn about things that I am ignorant about–and I often do because I like to learn–but there are many things I am uninterested in learning. I think it would be awesome to learn to play the violin, for example, but I am actually more content to listen to violin music rather than learn to play it. Same with sewing. Although I think quantum physics could be interesting, I’m not interested in learning it because its technical language and equations would either give me a headache or put me to sleep. I think I would rather beat up the decepticon lawn mower than learn to fix it. This ignorance is ok–although I probably shouldn’t beat up the mower. However, some things that we are ignorant about can do much harm. Like not knowing the difference between true and fake morel mushrooms. Fake ones can kill. EJ really wants to go morel hunting, but I’m a bit anxious about it because I’m aware of my ignorance. I don’t know how to tell the difference between which are yummy and which would kill us. I’d prefer not to die from mushrooms.
I only started to learn about abuse when it happened to me. The abuse was always there, but I didn’t see it because I was mostly ignorant of it. When it happened to me, I found myself confused and hurting so I began doing research and learning about abuse.
As I wrote the other day, I think that learning about abuse is sort of like the science fiction movie “The Matrix.” In the movie, Neo is offered a choice: He can take the blue pill which would allow him, like most others, to remain in the comfortable fantasy world of the Matrix. Or he could take the red pill which would show him the reality that most of humanity had been captured by a race of machines that lived off of the humans’ body heat and electrochemical energy and who imprison their minds within an artificial reality known as the Matrix. From birth to death humans existed in sort of embiotic sacks, plugged into the Matrix. They weren’t really living, they just thought they were.
There can be sort of positives and negatives to both ignorance and knowledge. When ignorant about abuse, it’s easy for a person to believe that the world is a very good place, life is fair, people are always as nice as they appear to be, families will always love you, and our unconditional love and forgiveness can always transform an evil person into a good one. However, ignorance is also dangerous. Evil doesn’t cease to exist simply because someone isn’t aware of it. It’s always been there lurking unnoticed in the shadows, and even in public places in the middle of the day–like on an airplane flight or in an Uber car. Abusers can appear very charming and they are extremely skilled at deception and manipulation. Ignorant people can be easily deceived into believing the abuser’s mask is real. Being ignorant of their tactics makes a person potential prey. Ignorant people can lack knowledge of who is actually the abuser and who is the prey and end up supporting the abuser in his oppression of the victim. Not good.
I think that as people’s knowledge of abuse increases, so does their sorrow as they discover the reality that monsters really do exist and that they cause great damage and suffering to their victims. Increased knowledge reveals how common abuse is, even within the church, the family, and a group of friends. They who increase in knowledge often experience misunderstanding and insults from others who–ignorantly or wickedly–accuse them of being negative, judgmental, and bitter because they spoke out.
In many ways I can’t really say that there are “positives” to gaining knowledge about abuse because the experience has caused damage that I wish I didn’t have and knowledge that causes heartache. However, a person who doesn’t realize she is a prisoner is still a prisoner, and I’m glad that experiences have taught me wisdom and helped me escape. I’m glad that I am developing the skill to recognize abusers and their tactics, which enables me to avoid their traps. I’m glad that I’m learning to set boundaries and stand up to bullies. And I’m glad when I can help other victims escape and/or heal.
There is another character in The Matrix who is significant. His name was Cypher. He knew the truth, but he didn’t like it and he didn’t want to see it so he deliberately chose to close his eyes and believe the delusion. He ended up betraying his friends so he could return to the fantasy of the Matrix. Because of his denial, he actively helped the machines and caused the death of many people.
I think there are many people like this. People who are ignorant can gain knowledge, but people who deliberately choose to believe a lie are in denial. In choosing not to see, they refuse to believe that abuse is occurring or they stay silent because they don’t want to get involved. Such people allow monsters to devour the innocent. They would rather believe the delusion that they have a loving, supportive family than deal with the reality that one of them might be a molester. They would rather silence the truth-tellers than deal with the problem. They shut their eyes to suffering and refuse to hear the cry of the needy. They are the ones who justify the wicked and accuse the righteous. They twist and misrepresent what God says and tell victims that it’s wrong to try to escape. They make me angry.
In regards to this topic, one of my friends said something very profound and true:
Ignorance and denial are not the same thing.
Ignorance is innocent.
Denial is chosen.
I think that the choices we make matter. I sometimes cringe at memories of my past ignorance and get frustrated when I see ways in which I am still ignorant, but I know it’s not wrong to lack knowledge. When we know we are ignorant, we can seek to grow more knowledgeable. It is wrong to choose to be willingly blind. Our choices to see or not see, to hear or not hear, to know or not know changes who we become. If we could know the truth and deliberately choose not to, I think we can become a person who is a friend of monsters–or even a monster himself. I agree with C.S. Lewis, who said:
Every time you make a choice you are turning the central part of you, the part of you that chooses, into something a little different from what it was before. And taking your life as a whole, with all your innumerable choices, all your life long you are slowly turning this central thing either into a heavenly creature or into a hellish creature: either into a creature that is in harmony with God, and with other creatures, and with itself, or else into one that is in a state of war and hatred with God, and with its fellow-creatures, and with itself. To be the one kind of creature is heaven: that is, it is joy and peace and knowledge and power. To be the other means madness, horror, idiocy, rage, impotence, and eternal loneliness. Each of us at each moment is progressing to the one state or the other.
Once upon a time, I was ignorant about abuse. But when I encountered it, I chose not to close my eyes. When given a choice between being comforted by lies or hurt with the truth, I choose the truth even if it is scary, or sad, or hurts. I choose to open my eyes to reality so someday I can be a Nancy Drew who notices that something is not right and acts, and maybe saves a life or two. This is why I read about and research abuse, and why I speak out against it, and why I vow so firmly,
“I will not be a friend of monsters,
no matter who they are!”
