I Love To Go A Gardening
Growing Our Life in Northern Michigan
The Orcs Next Door
Oh, my goodness, I just realized that I haven’t written in more than a week. In fact, this is my first post in June! I swear that I just blinked and the dates jumped from May 30th to June 8th! I’ve been busy, sort of…or unmotivated. Sometimes I was so busy that I became unmotivated afterwards. Well, I will try to catch you up. It will be difficult to write this morning because I have a cat and a dog on my lap. I have to reach over them to access my computer. I am aware that I could just shove them (gently) off my lap, but in our house pets rule.
Beginning last weekend, we had several days of very cool weather. High temperatures stayed in the 60s–sometimes barely reaching 60. I had to wear a jacket a couple of days; it was wonderful. We had a night of heavy rain and a few cloudy days, but the sun has returned and temperatures are beginning to climb again. The temperature was 44 at 6:30 this morning, but is forecasted to reach 76 degrees later today. My friend in Texas would think that 76 is cold, but I think it’s terribly hot. I am aware that in just about every post I describe the weather, but we talk about weather a lot in Michigan because it always changes and affects what we do that day.
The loggers are still cutting down trees at our neighbor-across-the-road’s place. I originally thought that maybe they were just clearing out a few trees but it looks as if they are cutting down the whole forest. I cringed when I saw a large living tree fall under the machinery, and I wondered how many bird nests and animal homes were being destroyed. This “killing the forest” makes me suspect that my neighbors might be orcs. I have a vivid memory of the orcs killing Ents in Isengard in The Lord of the Rings, which horrified me because I love living forests.
I actually made a sign last summer that forbid orcs–and ogres and goblins–from entering our Enchanted Forest. I would have put “No trolls allowed” on the sign but then I wouldn’t be able to live here because technically we are trolls. In Michigan anyone who lives south of the Mackinac Bridge that connects the two peninsula is called a “troll” because, you see, we live under the bridge like the trolls in the children’s story “Three Billy Goats Gruff.”
My sign also forbids salespeople, politicians, or religious people on our property because we are isolated from our neighbors and uninvited strangers make me nervous. The “No religious people” might be surprising to some because EJ and I are “religious” but we aren’t going to change our faith because a stranger comes to our door, and we had Jehovah Witnesses coming up our driveway so often that it became annoying. I’ve been repainting the letters of my sign because the wooden letters didn’t hold up through the winter and are falling off.
Anyway, I remembered how the angry Ents fought back at Isengard in The Lord of the Rings so I silently reminded MY forest that we are planting trees, not killing them. We planted several evergreen trees, most of which are doing very well. Only the littlest evergreen is struggling a bit. I gave it extra water this morning to try to revive it.
We have also planted many fruit trees. You might recall that in The Lord of the Rings, the Ents grieved that the Ent wives had moved on and they couldn’t find them. EJ theorized years ago that fruit trees are actually Ent wives because, you know, they are fruitful. He believes they moved to the Shire where Hobbits love to garden. That theory makes perfect sense to me. So…we are planting Ent wives. I hope this is enough to reassure the Ents that we are not Orcs like our neighbors.
Imagining that the trees are Ents makes me sad whenever I hear the loggers or see the stacks of dead Ent corpses in the field. Sometimes my imagination makes me sad, sometimes it makes me happy…and sometimes my imagination scares me. For example, the GPSs in our vehicles display the speed limit, like I’m sure most do. We named the GPS in EJ’s suburban Viki, after the evil computer in I, Robot. She turns the speed limit numbers a friendly red if he goes too fast. I named the GPS in my Xterra Ziva after the Israeli agent in the TV series NCIS. Ziva makes the speed limit display all red around the edges like she’s very, very angry–so angry that she might kill me. If I go more than 5 mph over the speed limit, she shouts a loud beep at me–I’m sure that she’s swearing at me and it is being “beeped” out. It makes me jump. Ziva freaks me out a bit. Fortunately I tend to go slower than the speed limit because I get distracted by the beautiful scenery.
Ugh. I am having a problem with tiny ants in my kitchen. I have a problem with them every year at this season, but usually I can see where they are coming from so I target that area and “poof!” they are gone. But this year I can’t figure out how they are getting in. I’ve sprayed with ant killer spray (EJ calls my poisonous sprays “assassin spray”) and I’ve sprayed with peppermint water, both of which kill the ants I see, but more keep coming. It’s annoying and makes me feel “red around the edges” like Ziva.
Other than tree-killing orcs, angry GPSs, and bothersome ants, life is peaceful in our enchanted forest. I’ve been somewhat busy this week. Monday I went to TSC and bought a 55 pound bag of dog food, several 50 pound bags of poultry feed, and a heavy compressed bale of straw. Loading the heavy bags into the shopping cart, and then into the Xterra, and then unloading them at home was very exhausting–but I figure it was like weightlifting, only less boring and more productive. I pulled the bags of poultry feed from the Xterra into the wheelbarrow and pushed it over to the coop. Then I dragged the bags into the coop where I scooped the feed into the empty kitty litter buckets to keep it safe from any mice that Madeline our serial killer cat might have missed.
I also bought handheld bug zappers at TSC so we could return JJ’s bug zappers to him. The bug zappers work really well and are actually very fun and satisfying to use. I couldn’t find them in the store so I had to ask a clerk for help. He said there were only three black ones left, so I said I’d take all three. As he handed them over to me, he noticed a box underneath filled with pink zappers and asked if I wanted pink ones. He seemed surprised when I refused–as if a woman should want pink? I hate the color pink. The color reminds me of pepto-bismal, the nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach and diarrhea medicine. Yuck. Now if they had been school-bus yellow zappers, I might have bought the whole box. School-bus yellow is my favorite color. It makes me happy whenever I see it.
EJ had worked at organizing his garage again last Sunday and he was able to uncover two large wooden boxes. We placed some old wooden pallets in the garden and he put the boxes on top for some more raised beds. Our soil is mostly sand so we garden with raised beds, which we fill with better dirt. We have dug some sort-of-ok dirt at one place in our property, but after I shoveled and pushed a wheelbarrow of dirt into one of the boxes, I said, “Forget this!” and on Wednesday afternoon I drove to Meijers and bought several bags of garden soil. I pulled the very heavy bags from the Xterra into my wheelbarrow and pushed them into the garden, where I poured them into the boxes. Later EJ called me a “city farmer” for buying dirt, but I defended my purchase by saying it was very cheap. “Was it dirt cheap?” he asked, and we both laughed. I did reassure him that once our compost pile gets going, I won’t buy any more dirt.
Yesterday I pulled some t-posts from along the driveway and fenced in the new boxes to keep the ducks out. When I finished, I left the wheelbarrow in the garden because the ducks like to sleep in its shade on hot days.
A few wildflowers are beginning to bloom along our driveway, including daisies, leafy spurge, and another flower that is sometimes called goatsbeard or joseph’s beard. It’s also sometimes called “Johnny-go-to-bed-at-noon” because the flower closes at noon. I like that last name the best. It has a seed head similar to a dandelion but it’s HUGE. I think it looks like a magic wand. It took me awhile to realize that the yellow flower and the magic wand were the same plant. In fact, I didn’t realize it was the same plant until I took a photo of the flower last year and looked it up on the Internet to identify it. I enjoy photographing the wildflowers I discover and then trying to identify them. You can see some of the wildflowers that grow on our property in my “Our Flowers and Plants” album.
Hannah is extremely observant, noticing every sight, sound, and smell. Her nose was really sniffing the other day when she was on my lap so I videoed it. I thought her sniffing nose was interesting. Warning: I photograph or video just about everything.
Hannah sometimes makes herself small so she looks like a very little vulnerable fawn, usually when she wants something. Other times she looks like a tough biker chick. I’m really not sure how she can change her appearance so drastically. It’s as if she can inflate and deflate herself. She’s a very talented dog.
Today, other than write this post, I’ve been doing laundry. In fact, I have to go hang another basket of newly-washed clothes on the line….
Oxymoronic Week
This week is quickly crawling by. Yes, that is an oxymoron. I like the word oxymoron. An online dictionary defined oxymoron as “It occurs when two contradictory words are together in one phrase. In fact, oxymoron translates from the Greek words oxy meaning sharp, and moron, which means dull. Thus, the word itself is two contradictory words pushed together.”
Apparently we jumped from a snowy winter to a hot summer with no spring to transition them. Every day has been very hot which makes me feel drained. I’m unmotivated and dragging through the days. Yet, here it is already Wednesday, and I haven’t written since Sunday. I’m not sure how days that tiredly drag can leap forward so quickly.
After our hard work on Sunday, EJ and I took it easy on Monday. Well, sort of. I did my morning chores taking care of the animals and then turned on the sprinklers to water the garden and trees. I have to move both the back yard and front yard hoses several times to water everything, and it takes me a couple hours. I did a bit of weeding in the flower garden. I did a few other small tasks. EJ worked harder than I did. Last week a co-worker gave EJ some of his surplus seed potatoes so he hoed up the ground and planted. We didn’t have room in the garden so he planted them at the base of the hill in the back yard. We shall see how that goes.
Yesterday EJ had to return to work. I finally made it to the bank to cash a check issued by EJ’s company for reimbursement of work boots. We kept forgetting to do it. I also stopped at the grocery store and picked up a couple of things such as cabbage to make coleslaw and a seedless watermelon for supper. I prepared a marinade for some chicken breasts I was planning to bake, but the chicken wasn’t completely defrosted so I just made hamburgers instead. I was sort of relieved because baking a chicken would heat up an already hot house. The temperatures are supposed to start dropping tomorrow into the 70s so I will bake the chicken then.
I think today has been the hottest day yet. I walk outside and immediately sweat begins to drip off me. I didn’t sleep well the last few days which adds to my lack of motivation. I didn’t do much of anything today. Even poor Hannah is hot and unmotivated. I found her sleeping on our bed with the fan blowing on her. Ugh.
Earlier there was a 50% chance that it could storm this afternoon but although the wind has picked up a little, I noticed the chance of rain has dropped to 10%. Boo! There is a 90% chance of rain tonight. I hope! I hope! Seriously, I think the people downstate has been hogging all our rain. They need to send some this way!
For supper I’m just having hot dogs and leftover coleslaw so I don’t heat up the kitchen by cooking. As they say, “If you can’t stand the heat, stay out of the kitchen.” And for goodness sakes’, don’t bake anything.
Usually I love to sit and listen to the beautiful birds sing, but the loud roar of heavy construction equipment has drowned them out since yesterday. I wondered if maybe construction crews were working on our road? When Hannah and I braved the heat and trudged down the driveway to the mailbox today, it appeared that the forest behind our neighbors across the street is being logged out. I hope they finish this job quickly because bird song is MUCH nicer than the roar of machinery. I want the quiet peace to return.
We usually have milkweed growing on the hillside beyond the large rocks each year. They seem to be extra abundant this year. I’m very glad because milkweed are essential for monarch butterflies and we have been trying to encourage them to grow. The Altona Forest blog writes: “There is a symbiotic relationship between the native milkweed plants and the monarch. The monarch butterflies enjoy the nectar from the flowers and help pollinate the plants. The successful pollination allows the milkweed to thrive and thus provide more nurseries for the crucial ‘fourth generation’ of monarchs. Unfortunately, there are no substitutes for where monarchs can lay their eggs.”
I wrote not long ago that one reason I think that victims have trouble leaving their abusers are because they aren’t strangers, but people they love and have trusted–family members, friends, church leaders. Because they love and trust them, victims tend to keep trying to fix the relationship. It takes a long time to finally give up.
For it was not an enemy who insulted me;
if it had been, I could have borne it.
It was not my adversary who treated me with scorn;
if it had been, I could have hidden myself.
But it was you, a man of my own kind,
my companion, whom I knew well. (Ps. 55)
Most of the people I went to for help as I struggled with my family’s abuse told me that they were just wounded and needed my unconditional love and forgiveness. So I kept trying and trying. Slowly I wrestled with concepts like what love really involved, as well as forgiveness, repentance, reconciliation, healing, recovery. It was difficult because I had no support, no voices that said that I was experiencing abuse and that it was ok to leave.
Now support is available on social media as abuse survivors reach out to support others. I have been finding a small group of friends who validate and support me on my journey to recovery. They listen to me rant, hug me when I cry, get angry at what we’ve suffered, and help me figure out what to do next. It’s amazing how these friends strengthen me, give me hope, and help me find the courage to make difficult choices. I just want to tell any who read my blog (and I know a few do) that they are deeply valued and appreciated.
Puttering
Monday is Memorial Day, which is a day that of remembrance of American soldiers who have died in military service. The town we lived in downstate always had a very touching ceremony outside the VFW and at the cemetery. Here in the north, we haven’t yet learned where the services are. EJ has Monday off from work so we are just spending the weekend quietly.
The National Weather Service in our area had said there was a slight chance for rain in our area yesterday. It’s been so hot and dry here that I was really hoping and hoping we would get some rain yesterday. We occasionally saw clouds billowing up, which raised our hopes. Areas just a few miles away got storms–some with ping pong ball-sized hail. The rain missed us. Rats.
The heat didn’t miss us though. It was so terribly hot that EJ and I sat in the living room with fans turned on us, too hot to even talk. Hannah was hot too. When we staggered back from our walk to the mailbox, she lay in the cooler hallway as soon as she got in the door.
In the evening, a breeze blew some cool air our way–probably from the nearby storms. It was cooler outside than inside, so we went out and sat on our deck. The gnats have been terrible this year and almost drove us inside, but EJ remembered the handheld bug zappers that look like tennis racquets, and we had fun swatting the gnats. Zzzt, zzzt, zzzt, sparked the gnats until there were none left. With the gnats gone, we had a pleasant evening chatting as darkness fell around us.
During the night it stormed so I didn’t have to water the garden or the fruit trees this morning. However, today was another very hot day.
This morning we discussed possible ways to spend the day. We almost decided to go to Lowes to buy a patio umbrella. Our current umbrella snapped on a windy day a couple of years ago. EJ corn-cobbles it together, but I have trouble getting it up or down. Today we discovered a craft project we would like to try–and maybe sell at Etsy–so we thought about going to Joann Fabrics to research supplies. However, we decided to save our money and stay at home. Our property is so beautiful and peaceful that we love staying home.
We puttered happily today.
EJ spent most of the day cleaning and organizing his garage. When we decided to move in 2015, everything went very fast. EJ put his resume on Indeed.Com, a few days later a company interviewed him on the phone, then they wanted to meet him in person. Then they hired him, and a couple of weeks later he was working at his new job. When we moved, we made multiple trips back and forth and shoved a bunch of stuff in the garage. EJ has been sorting through everything since then, discarding some things and organizing others. He works on the garage–in the summers when the weather is nice and his back isn’t throbbing too much. He made tons of progress today.
I did a bunch of little tasks. Using paint pens, I repainted my “Plum Crazy” sign on the poultry pen/garden gate. A larger sized pen would have worked better, but I still think it looks cute.
I also did laundry and hung the clothes outside to dry.
Then I pulled out the stove and cleaned behind it. I swept and mopped the kitchen floor, and vacuumed the carpet in the other rooms.
EJ found some snap pea seeds and asked me to figure out where to plant them in the garden. He said they needed to climb. So as I gathered eggs, I thought and thought. I finally decided that we could plant them outside the long thin planter boxes where EJ has planted his beans. They can climb up the fencing surrounding the planters. But I needed to keep the ducks from eating them. I found pieces of hog fencing that we had used for Danny’s pen downstate. They were just the right size for gates to allow us access to the beans and peas but block the ducks. I was hot and sweaty by the time I finished, so I went inside for a short break. We can plant EJ’s seeds tomorrow.
I decided to store the poultry feed and straw in the coop instead of the garage so I carried everything out there. Then I moved the cat house, which is actually a dog crate, that we set up in the garage for the outside cats last winter over to where the poultry stuff had been stored. That gives EJ more room in the rest of the garage.
In the midst of these tasks, during the hottest part of the day, we stayed inside for a bit and ate lunch. Our cat Kee-Kee sat on my lap and I brushed him because he’s getting too old to take care of his fur. Some of his hair flew up and Hannah leaped at it. I thought she might enjoy chasing bubbles, so I blew some for her. She had a ball.
EJ and I ended our day by sitting out on the deck again to enjoy another beautiful evening. I had fun trying to capture the night sky. There weren’t many stars out because the moon is full and its light hid them. However, I loved the beauty of the moon and the trees.
Tomorrow is supposed to be even hotter than today with temperatures in the high 80’s. Ugh. However, in spite of the heat, we are really enjoy our quiet weekend of puttering at home.
Warm and Warmer
The three days since my last post have been beautiful with blue skies and plenty of sunshine. The temperature has climbed every day, with each day warmer than the last. Today it is 86 degrees. It’s way above my tolerance level. I’m totally melting.
I’ve added “turning on the sprinklers” to my list of morning chores. After I’ve fed Hannah Joy and taken her outside, fed the inside and then the outside cats, filled the poultry drinking buckets and the kiddie pool for the ducks, and let the ducks and chickens out of the coop, I attach the sprinkler to the hose to water the garden in the back yard. As soon as EJ leaves for work, I turn on the sprinkler in the front yard to water the apple trees and then I move it to water the flower garden and the house plants which sit on the deck all summer long. Even though we have a 100 foot garden house in the front yard, it doesn’t reach the new evergreen trees below the hill or the cherry trees on the other side of the driveway so I have been lugging kitty litter buckets of water to give them all drinks. I didn’t do it this morning though–although I should have–because there is a slight chance of rain tonight. I figured they could wait. I really do hope we get some rain.
I think the ducks reached through the fence to bite off one of the zucchini plants so I reworked the fencing there on Wednesday morning.There is a gate dividing the garden and the smaller pen in front of their side of the coop. (The chickens also have a large outside pen on their side of the coop.) I open the gate in the morning so the ducks can wander through the garden gobbling snacks of insects. There is fencing around each raised bed so they can’t easily eat our herbs and veggies. When the gate is open, it almost blocks the area where the zucchini plants are in the cracked kiddie pool. So I pounded a t-post into the ground and fastened a small bit of fencing in the small opening not blocked by the gate. Now at night the gate closes access to the duck coop/pen, and during the day it allows the ducks into the garden but closes off their access to the zucchini. I think it’s pretty ingenious. Oh, and I put some chicken fencing up so the ducks can’t reach through the fence and gobble the zucchini.
Yesterday afternoon I washed most of the windows. I have one or two more windows to wash, but not today. Today is too hot.
Today I stayed inside and cleaned out the fridge, washing the shelves and tossing out items that are expired or was pushed to the back and went bad. Hannah “helped” by licking the shelves I took out or eating food particles that were swept out. She also ate my scratch pad that I had used to scrub the inside of the fridge and then set aside. Sigh. She eats everything!
After I cleaned the fridge, I reorganized the chest freezer in the pantry. It was mostly already organized so it wasn’t a hard job. I found some frozen squash that had been there since 2014. I took it out to the chickens for a frozen treat to cool them off. Which reminds me: I need to make some frozen treats for the poultry. I freeze veggies and/or fruit in ice and then they enjoy nibbling it. It helps keep them cool on hot days.
It felt good to stick my head in the cool fridge and freezer. But then I walked to the mailbox with Hannah. I felt as if I were stumbling through a hot, hot desert. Hannah helped pull me up the hill or I might not have made it. EJ would have come home from work and found my body baking in the driveway.
Wednesday morning I heard the call of an unfamiliar bird. There were actually two calling back and forth to each other. I could see one of the birds on a tree but I couldn’t see it clearly enough to tell what it was. So I got my camera out, zoomed way in, and snapped a few photos. Once I uploaded it to my computer, I was able to identify it as a Great Crested Flycatcher. The first time I saw one was last year, and now they are back! I’ve been hearing them every morning since Wednesday. I was able to get a video of the bird too. It is jerky at first because it was difficult to locate the bird in my camera’s viewfinder:
I love watching the birds!
The lilac bushes are in bloom. We have four (or is it five?) all in various shades of lavender around the house. When the breeze blows, we can smell their beautiful fragrance. They are one of my favorite flowers.
EJ has a three-day weekend because of Memorial Day. We are really looking forward to it! We haven’t quite decided what to do. We might go off and do something, but we might just putter around home. Our home is so beautiful that we really enjoy just staying here!
Garden Fun
The morning-glories and lilacs survived Sunday night’s frost. Yeah!
Yesterday morning I washed some clothes and hung them on the clothesline. It looked a bit cloudy so I went in to check the National Weather Service forecast. It said we could get some rain. I checked radar, and it showed a great deal of rain heading our way. It was still a bit far away so I had time to dry the clothes on the line, but I dried the towels, which I usually wash last, in the dryer because I didn’t want to bother hanging them out when I wasn’t sure there would be time for them to dry outside.
I chatted with a friend at Facebook and another on the phone. Then I checked the radar again and the rain looked very close–less than a county away. I decided to make another trip to the wonderful plant nursery for some more lavender before it began raining. The nursery is less than 10 miles away, which is both good and bad. It is good because it doesn’t take long to get there, and it’s bad for the same reason: It’s closeness is tempting and the cost of plants adds up quickly.
I bought a flat of lavender, two more bags of soil mixed especially for vegetables, two 18 bulb bags of Crocosmia that caught my eye, and I couldn’t resist getting a beautiful hanging plant. I’m not sure what it is, but it is a bright red splash of color. I hung it on the bird feeder post near the deck. I’m hoping the red flowers will attract hummingbirds. Plus, I don’t think Madeline can climb the post easily with it there.
I drove home, unloaded my plants, and checked radar again. Although the rain was moving toward us, it was no closer than it had been before. It apparently dissipated just before it got to us. We actually didn’t get any rain until about sunset. I was glad it finally rained. We could really use some.
I spent the rest of the afternoon contently working in the peaceful garden. I planted the strawberries in the old hot tub, as well as some of the herbs and veggies that EJ and I had bought on Sunday. I didn’t plant everything because I needed to think of where to plant some of the veggies. Some require deeper raised beds than others, and I only have a limited supply of the deeper boxes.
We frequently see a hen turkey wandering our property. I’m sure she has a nest somewhere. I’m actually not sure if there is just one or more. I went into the bedroom yesterday afternoon after I finished planting and was surprised to see a turkey hen just outside the window. I snuck away and grabbed my camera and then snuck back and took a couple photos. Turkeys are very alert and observant so I couldn’t get too close.
EJ planted some bean seeds last weekend. After supper, he went out into the garden and planted some carrot seeds.
This morning I was sitting in my chair by the window drinking my coffee when I saw a huge bird flying low between the house and the big rocks. I was excited and silently exclaimed, “Oh, wow! Oh, wow! I wonder what that is!” It landed on the other side of the driveway and then I recognized it as a turkey hen. I didn’t know until a couple of years ago–after we moved here–that turkeys can fly and they actually roost high in trees at night.
Today was beautiful with blue skies and just-right temperatures in the upper 60s. It was just cool enough to make working outside pleasant.
I have read that lavender repels deer and also things like fleas and ticks (which is why I bought so many). I looked up on the Internet to see to make sure lavender can be planted near fruit trees–they can. So I planted a lavender plant near each of our apple and cherry trees. Then I planted some along the edge of the driveway. I also planted a couple in the flower garden near the house. I took a short break, and then planted a few of the Crocosmia bulbs in the flower garden and the rest along the driveway. I lugged along a kitty litter bucket full of water and gave each plant/bulb a drink when I planted it.
I was tired and hungry so I took a break to eat lunch. Then I planted all the rest of the herbs and veggies in the garden except for EJ’s large tomato bushes, which I will let him plant. I left two of the large deep containers for him. Yesterday and today I moved wooden planters from the front yard to the back yard to replace some of the pots. They were heavy, but I moved them with the wheelbarrow and then heaved them inside the fenced in beds.
I wasn’t sure where to plant the zucchini plants–I was running out of suitable raised bed containers. I finally spotted the round ducks’ kiddie pool, which I noticed had a crack in it a few weeks ago when I filled it for the first–and last–time. (The ducks have another little kiddie pool to swim in). I dragged it to the corner of the garden, filled it with dirt from containers we won’t be using, put in some veggie soil mix, and planted the zucchini. I also had to fix some fencing so that the ducks can’t eat the zucchini plants.
By the time I got the zucchini planted, I was really tired, but I had to prepare supper. I got it cooking and then walked Hannah down to the mailbox for the mail. Hannah did very well in the house alone while I worked; she only ate a teabag left on the counter. Every time I sat down today to take a break, she grumbled that she needed more attention as she climbed into my lap.
I did a few other chores, like dishes, cleaning the kitty litter, set up the coffee pot for tomorrow, and then I sat and ate. EJ often works late and I don’t usually know when he’s going to get home so I eat supper if he’s not home by 5:30 p.m.
While I was working in the garden, I saw Madeline take a chipmunk in the garage. She left it right inside the door. I thought it was dead, but it was only mostly dead. When I went to move it with a shovel to throw it in the forest, I saw it move a tiniest tiny bit. I was careful when I set it down, but I think it’s too far gone to live. Poor thing.
Hannah’s Favorite Uncle
EJ and I had an enjoyable weekend. I hope you all did too!
EJ’s friend arrived late Friday afternoon for an overnight visit. EJ had to work late so TH arrived before EJ got home from work. This is the first time TH has visited since we brought Hannah home from the shelter. I wasn’t sure how Hannah would react to a stranger so when I saw TH drive up the driveway, I put her leash on her. She really barked and growled ferociously when he came to the door and I was a bit concerned that she would attack him. But he likes dogs and he stooped down to her level, asked me to remove the leash (which I did reluctantly), and he very patiently and calmly talked to her. It wasn’t long before he had won her over. In fact, she acted like he was her favorite uncle. She snuggled next to him and kept bringing her toys over for him to play with her. It was very cute.
We all agreed that Hannah would protect us from anyone wanting to do us harm. That is actually good to know because we are rather isolated on our hill.
Saturday morning my alarm went off at about 5:40 a.m. I turned it off and was going to snuggle back into bed, but EJ got up so I did too. I hurried and did my morning chores–caring for the dog, cats, chickens and ducks. Then we settled down to watch the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. TH woke up soon after and watched it with us too. I also called my friend and we commented on the wedding as we watched it in our homes in different states. It was fun. The wedding was beautiful. I hope Harry and Meghan have a happy life together.
TH left in early Saturday afternoon. It was rainy and/or foggy all day. It was a good day for a cozy and sleepy day in the house.
Today (Sunday) was sunny and beautiful. EJ got the mower started and mowed the lawn while I cleaned the house. Later we went to the plant nursery. We bought a flat of strawberry plants, various herbs, and lavender, tomatoes, peppers, cucumber, chives, mint, and probably a few others. We also bought some good dirt for our raised beds. We didn’t get as many plants this year as last year. I mostly concentrated on the veggies and herbs that I often use rather than try to get new ones. We will work at improving our raised beds this year.
After we arrived home from the nursery, we went into the garden. Last year’s strawberry plants didn’t survive in their raised beds, so I’m going to put them in the hot tub bed this year because it’s insulated and might protect them better in the winter. I loosened up the soil while EJ prepared the soil in the three long raised beds and planted bean seeds.
I found a package of perennial wildflower seeds that EJ had bought a while back, so later we walked down and I planted them along the driveway. After Danny was put to sleep, the vet set us a sympathy card that had forget-me-knot seeds imbedded in a silhouette of a dog on the front. Hannah had chewed it up somewhat, but most of the pieces of the seeded dog were salvageable, so at EJ’s suggested I planted the pieces near the rocks where Danny used to dig a hole and lie in it.
We are expecting another frost tonight, so we didn’t take the nursery plants out of the Xterra. We felt they would be better protected there than anywhere else. We aren’t expecting frost the rest of the week so I’ll take the plants all out tomorrow and start planting some of them. When I went outside at dusk to shut the chickens and ducks in their coop for the night, I tried to cover up my morning-glory plants growing near the deck. Our lilac bushes are almost in bloom and I really hope they don’t die in the frost. I love the beauty of lilacs.
Michi-Centric
Yesterday I went grocery shopping at our local store. I always feel such a delighted sense of freedom that I have the Xterra to use whenever I want. JJ had driven it to work, school, and his girlfriend’s for the last couple years so I had to plan errands around his busy schedule or I had to wait until EJ’s suburban was free. When EJ is home we like to be together so he usually went with me–we enjoy shopping together–but it helps to get shopping done so we can do other things together.
As soon as I regained use of the Xterra, I bought a GPS for it. I get lost easily so a GPS is a necessity. EJ has one for his suburban–not because he needs it for directions, but because the speedometer doesn’t work and the GPS displays the speed. We named his GPS VIKI after the murderous computer in the movie I, Robot. I thought and thought about what to name my GPS. If it had a male voice, I would have named it HAL after the murderous computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey. Actually, I wanted to name it Dave so I could quote, “I’m sorry, Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that” whenever I wanted to ignore the directions. However, EJ said that I had to name it after the computer and not the human. But that’s all a moot point because my GPS’ voice is female. I finally named it Ziva after the Israeli agent in NCIS. The name is interesting and I liked the character in the series. Plus, I don’t think Ziva ever got lost. Last weekend EJ attached Ziva to the dashboard where I wanted it–accessible, but out of the way.
Anyway, back to grocery shopping. In addition to the regular items on our list, I bought us some Moomer’s Ice Cream, which is made by a small family-owned creamery near Traverse City. I think it’s the best ice cream on the planet. They make 160 heavenly flavors. This time I chose Raspberry White Chocolate for me and Mocha Almond Fudge for EJ. If you ever get to Traverse City, you must try Moomer’s Ice Cream.
EJ has been wanting to get some pure Michigan maple syrup, so I bought us a bottle as another special treat. This maple syrup is made in Charlevoix, a charming town in Northern Michigan. The description on the back of the bottle says: “The Parsons family has been making pure maple syrup on the shores of Harwood Lake since the late 1800’s. Gathering sap from the same sugar maple trees as our ancestors, we’re still making it today after five generations on the Parson’s farm.”
EJ says that I am “Michi-centric” and I agree that I am totally Michi-centric. I was born, raised, and lived all my life in Michigan, as was EJ. I love Michigan’s beauty and uniqueness, and I have no desire to live elsewhere. We lived downstate until 2015 when we moved north. Northern Michigan is where both our hearts have always been. By the way, we bought the sign at the top of this post from Michigan in Metal. They have beautiful metal art, and I always drool when I browse through their site.
Today the US National Weather Service says our chance of rain has risen from 30% to 60% tonight and tomorrow. I really hope we get rain because it is so dry here. Our county and surrounding areas have issued “Red Flag Warnings,” which means there is very high fire danger.
We never really had to worry about forest fires downstate. All of Michigan has trees. I am always surprised when we return to Michigan from out-of-state to see just how many trees we have compared to other states. I usually exclaim, “Dang! Michigan is a forest!” But there is more farmland than forest downstate and worrying about forest fires never really entered my mind. I don’t ever remember any big fires in Michigan like they have out west but it’s more of a concern now that we live in Northern Michigan, which is mostly forest. Some people don’t like Michigan because of all its trees and the clouds. We have many cloudy days because of moisture from the Great Lakes. But I have always, always loved trees, and I think clouds are interesting.
I’ve been cleaning the house today because we are expecting a guest. Every few months, EJ’s long-time friend TH stops by. He lives almost in a straight line across from us on the Lake Huron side of the state. He usually spends the night and then drives down to visit his daughter’s family, who lives in the area we used to live. I know that he probably wouldn’t care–or even notice–if the house is extra clean, but I care and notice. This time he can sleep in JJ’s old bed instead of the couch. I’ve washed the sheets, made sure his bathroom is sparkling, vacuumed, etc. Yesterday I made potato salad to eat with hot dogs. I never know when EJ will get home from work, and since TH will be eating with us, I wanted something to heat up last minute so nothing gets cold or overdone.
I walked Hannah to the mailbox with me, as usual. Apparently she was really enjoying this beautiful Spring day because she started rolling in the grass. I was able to get a partial video. I had to cut it off at the end because she started racing full speed to the end of her leash. My injured hand is doing really well, but it still doesn’t have the strength it once did so I had to grip her leash with both hands so she wouldn’t get away from me. She is such a delightfully funny dog.
Tomorrow morning I am going to try to wake up early to watch the royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle. EJ asked, “Why do you want to watch the wedding?” I replied, as I always do, “Because it’s history.” When I was growing up, my parents always took us on vacation to historical places. Mom made us sit in front of the tv to watch things like President Nixon resign “because it’s history.” So I gained a love of history, and I like to watch things that are historic. That way, I can say, “I saw that when it was happening…because it’s history!” I watched Prince William and Kate’s wedding and now I’m determined to watch Harry and Meghan’s wedding. EJ isn’t interested in royal weddings, but he watches them with me so I have someone to share the experience with.
Are any of you going to watch the wedding?
Madeline’s Tactics
Yesterday I felt very unmotivated. I had trouble getting started. I eventually did get a few things done. Today I was more motivated.
Our grass is getting long enough to mow. I knew it was going to get hot later–reaching 80 degrees–so I went out early to mow the lawn while it was still blissfully cool. Southern Michigan is getting many days of rain, but our skies here in the North have been sunny and our weather dry. In fact, it’s a bit too dry here. We have very high fire danger.
I got the lawn mower out of the garage, and tried to pull start it. Nothing. I pulled again and again. Nothing. I hissed, “Start, dang it, you stupid piece of crap, or I will take you to the junk yard!” I don’t usually get nasty with machinery (or anyone), but lawn mowers and I have had a very hostile relationship for many years. I can never get them started. I think they deliberately refuse to start just to annoy and frustrate me. I texted EJ and he replied that he usually cleans the spark plug first thing in the Spring. I hope he can do it this weekend. I don’t want to let the grass get too long because, you know, ticks.
Since I couldn’t mow the lawn this morning, I did laundry and hung the clothes to dry on the clothesline. I really enjoy this task. I enjoy the peaceful beauty around me as I hang up the clothes.
We just bought a 100 foot garden hose for the front yard a couple of weeks ago. It reaches to the apple trees, but not the cherry trees across the driveway, so I lugged a few kitty litter buckets of water to them. I didn’t feel like pulling out the hose, so I filled the bucket again and took it to the new apple trees.
I also spent an hour or so organizing EJ’s garage. I don’t know where he wants a lot of the items, so I mostly just bagged stuff that I knew needed to be thrown away. I also moved the section of lockers to where he had said he wanted them. I actually was able to make some good progress.
There was a small vacuum cleaner in the garage. We don’t need it. It actually isn’t adequate for our house of pets–I think we bought it for the RV, which we sold when JJ was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. I put it in the Xterra to donate at Goodwill. I also went to the pantry and dragged out a couple of boxes to donate. We had thought to sell them, but people are selling books for one cent (plus shipping) at Amazon so selling them isn’t worth the effort. We have multiple boxes of books that we no longer want–JJ’s old school books, duplicates, and so forth. We take one or two boxes at a time.
By this time, the day had heated up and I was tired, so I took it easy until it was time to fix supper. I made Ohm Rice, which is a simple meal that my Korean sister-in-law taught my family how to make years ago. I brown ground beef, put in grated carrots until they are cooked, then put it on top of rice. I make a simple egg omelet to put on top of the mixture and squirt ketchup on it. EJ puts salsa on his omelet. I used three eggs each (instead of two) for a thicker omelet tonight because we have a surplus of eggs from our chickens. The meal is very yummy.
A few days ago I put chicken fencing around the posts to prevent Miss Madeline Meadows from getting to the birdhouses. At first I put the fencing at the bottom, but I watched her leap above it and climb the post. I shouted her away, and then I loosely fastened the fencing at the top of the post, making it swirl, to prevent her from climbing on or under it. This evening we watched Madeline sit on the big rock and study the new configuration for a minute or two:
Then she walked all the way around the post and stood up to examine it more closely.
Suddenly, she climbed the post, going UNDER the fencing.
When she reached the top and started going for the birdhouse, which I believe has chickadees in it–if she hasn’t scared them off–I ran out and scared her away. Then I tried to reconfigure the fencing to thwart her next attempt. I wired closed the top of the fencing so if she does get underneath it, she won’t be able to go any further. That’s the plan anyway. It wouldn’t surprise me if Madeline figured out how to get past my security measures. She’s very intelligent and kind of scary.
The other day I saw a Rose-breasted Grosbeak up near the house! It didn’t stay long and I haven’t seen it since, but it was a treat to see it. This evening Ej and I saw a hummingbird outside the window. We never get tired of the birds.
Before he went to bed, EJ said that he read that there could be “massive northern lights” tonight. I might try to stay up for awhile to see them–if I can stay awake.
EJ’s Mother’s Day Gift (And Mine)
I didn’t get around to posting yesterday, but I hope that the mothers had a wonderful Mother’s Day. I am aware that Mother’s Day is very difficult for many women, so I especially want them to know that I was thinking of them yesterday.
Mother’s Day is one of my least favorite days. because I don’t have a good relationship with my Mom and my first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage just before Mother’s Day. While I understand the idea of honoring older Mom’s, it seems to me that it’s the Moms with younger children who could really use a day off and some pampering. If given the opportunity, I will babysit grandchildren on Mother’s Day so that the young Mom could get away for some relaxing time. That’s just my opinion.
At the end of last week, EJ bought five fruit trees–three cherry trees and two apple trees–because they were 30% off at our local nursery. I joked that they were his Mother’s Day gift. The morning-glory plant I bought got killed by three days of frost so EJ bought me another morning-glory. We waited until the frost warnings ended before we planted anything. Hopefully we won’t get any more frost, although we read that there is always a risk of frost in our area until the end of May.
Usually we try to have restful days on Saturdays, but EJ had to get the fruit trees planted and I had to plant my morning-glory before they died. EJ planted his apple trees with the others near the big rocks, and the cherry trees across the driveway not far from the large park bench. I planted my morning-glory near the deck.
We saw Miss Madeline Meadows climbing the post and trying to look into the blue birdhouse, so while EJ was planting his trees, I put chicken wire fencing around all the birdhouse posts to try to keep birds safe from her. She has gotten so bloodthirsty that I am contemplating re-homing her. We really like her, but it’s really bothering me to keep finding dead bodies of beautiful critters. I also put fencing around the deck for the morning-glories to climb and also to keep Hannah Joy from trampling them. I can’t wait until the morning-glories start climbing the fencing, making a flowery hedge around the deck.
I couldn’t find my pedestal birdbath so I ordered one from Amazon. I ordered a hanging birdbath to try to keep Madeline from ambushing unsuspecting birds. It arrived on Friday, and I hung it on the post with the blue birdhouse, thinking Madeline wouldn’t be able to reach it, especially since the post has thorny roses climbing up it. But, of course, Madeline did climb the post. Grrrr.
Sunday I transplanted another wheelbarrow full of lilies along the driveway. I also scattered more wildflower seeds. The day was sunny and warm and the work made me overheated so I took frequent breaks in the house with the fan turned on me. The temperature did not reach 70 degrees and I thought, “Oh, boy, if this weather feels too hot, I’m totally not going to survive the warmer summer temperatures.” Sometimes I suspect that I must have snowman DNA because warm days make me melt. EJ said that many of his co-workers who were born and raised in this area begin complaining that it’s too hot when the temperature hits 70 degrees so I guess I’m where I really belong. EJ promised that if we ever move again, it will be north and not south.
There is some sort of tiny insects that keep swarming us when we go outside. For lack of identification, we’ve been calling them “gnats” but I think they are actually a little bigger than gnats. Whatever they are, they are very annoying. Warm weather would be much more pleasant without insects.
I hear that downstate is getting a lot of rain, but we have only a tiny chance (20-30%) of rain tonight and then no rain until the weekend. So this morning I filled the wheelbarrow with old straw that I had raked out of the coop (which was still moist from the last snow/rain we had) and I covered the wildflower seeds along the driveway with it to hold in the moisture, which is what the nursery lady suggested I do when I bought wildflower seed last year. The land in our area is primarily sand, which doesn’t retain moisture. Sometimes when I work in the yard, I can’t help humming the children’s song I learned years ago in Sunday School
The foolish man built his house upon the sand,
The foolish man built his house upon the sand,
The foolish man built his house upon the sand,
And the rains came tumbling down.
The rains came down and the floods came up,
The rains came down and the floods came up,
The rains came down and the floods came up,
And the house on the sand fell flat…
Hopefully, our house built on a sandy hill won’t ever come tumbling down. At least, living on a hill, we won’t ever have to worry about flooding.
This morning I finally got out my favorite cheerful yellow chicken work shoes that I wear in the summer when I do my poultry chores. I shook them, sprayed them with spider spray, and then shook them again just in case spiders had moved in over the winter. I kept imagining wolf spiders, brown recluses, black widows–or, really, any type of spider–in my shoes and I didn’t want to stick my feet in them until I was absolutely sure they were spiderless. You can’t be too careful. I wasn’t sure if it would be healthy to wear shoes that had been drenched with toxic spider spray so after giving time for any spiders in the shoes to all die, I took the shoes outside and sprayed them with the hose. Then I hung them on posts in the sun to dry. I think they will now be safe to wear…unless spiders moved in while the shoes were hanging on the posts.
Trees and Captain AmeROOca
I am drinking hot coffee on a chilly, rainy morning as I begin writing today’s post. I like rainy days. They feel cozily soporific.
In late March/early April our county and several others sold trees for a pittance. I really, really wanted to buy some, but early Spring is an expensive time for us with EJ and JJ’s birthdays, our vehicle registrations due, and tax day approaching. This year we also got the HHR repaired for JJ. So….no money for trees. Boo hoo! But one of EJ’s co-workers was selling evergreens this week. I’m not sure why he had evergreens to sell. Maybe he was involved in the county sale? Maybe he bought too many from the county? Whatever, he sold his surplus of nine trees to EJ for 80 cents each. EJ brought them home on Tuesday and after supper we went out and planted them on the far side of the hill where they will block our view of our neighbors-on-the-other-hill when they grow tall. We don’t dislike our neighbors. They go to Florida in the winter so we only see them for a few months anyway. We just would prefer to look at nature instead of a house. The evergreens will also provide habitat for wild critters.
EJ dug the holes and I planted the trees. We took Hannah outside with us while we worked. I attached her leash to the nearest t-post. When she saw EJ digging holes, she started to dig too, but I stopped her with an anguished “Nooooo!” because she was digging along the driveway where I have been building rock dams and planting lilies and wildflowers to stop erosion. The next day I dug up a lily and put it in the hole she had dug. Perfect!
Yesterday I surveyed our tiny forest and flashed back to memories of walking through evergreen forests so silent and peaceful that they make me think of the word “sanctuary.” I’ve always wanted to have a sitting place in the middle of an evergreen grove where I can absorb the quiet and pray–sort of a natural chapel. I’ve been very tempted to re-locate our new trees into an incomplete circle with space in the middle for a bench. I don’t want to traumatize the newly planted trees but now is the time to plan ahead…If I want a quiet sanctuary later, I have to plant it now. Well, I will wait until it stops raining.
Fruit trees are 30% off at our local plant nursery until Mother’s Day. While I love evergreens, EJ has been working on mini-orchards. For the last couple years he has been planting apple trees. Now he wants to begin planting cherry trees. He hopes to buy a few, but we are going to wait until Friday or Saturday to buy them because tonight the temperatures will plunge down into the low 30s and we are expecting heavy frost. We don’t want to risk killing the trees before they have a chance to get started.
Sometimes I think that it’s kind of funny to plant more trees when we already live in a forest. It’s sort of like “bringing coal to Newcastle” or “selling snow to Eskimos” as the sayings go. But evergreens are for soothing silence and fruit trees are for delicious enjoyment.
Last year I sowed four pounds of wildflower seeds along the driveway among the lilies. Yesterday morning I planted four more pounds of wildflower seeds along the driveway. Since there is no such thing as too many wildflowers, I drove to the plant nursery and bought two more two-pound bags of wildflower seeds, which I will plant soon. I want a riot of colorful beauty leading up to the house. Plus….erosion control.
At the plant nursery, I also bought a morning-glory plant. I have planted some morning-glory seeds, and there are some seedlings growing from last year, but I wanted to make absolutely sure I’d have morning glories. I planted the morning-glory next to the bird feeder pole. I also strung twine from post to post so the morning-glory(s) will grow up to form a living hedge around the deck.
We have several computer disks that are obsolete. They are installation disks from computer stuff we no longer have, and other such things. I used leftover twine to hang the disks from the apple trees. I’m hoping they will scare the critters away from the trees. The deer munched on our apple trees during the winter.
I found a…I guess you’d call it a “wind sock” in the pantry. I forgot we had it and I don’t remember where we got it. It is colorful and has ladybugs on it. I dragged the ladder to one of the tall wooden posts in the duck pen and fastened the wind sock to it. It might scare predators away from our garden and ducks–although actually the crows keep the flying predators away. At the very least it will tell us which way the wind is blowing. Plus, it’s quite cheerful waving in the wind.
It began to rain late yesterday afternoon. It rained and rained. The ducks love the rain and were out playing happily in the puddles. It’s impossible to herd the chickens into the coop before they are ready, but I thought the gloom would drive them into the coop early. I saw on radar that we would soon get heavier rain and possibly thunder, and I was anticipating getting my evening chores done early and snuggling into my chair in my pjs, so I went out early to shut them in for the night. I did a head count: one, two, three….there were seven chickens in the coop. One rooster was missing. I was surprised he wasn’t in there because it was pouring rain. So I went out of the coop and around to their pen and I found Captain AmeROOca in the plastic dog kennel. I kind of tipped it up, but he didn’t come out, so with a sigh I trudged back into the house, utterly soaked with rain dripping from my hair. I felt like a wet hen.
I waited a few more minutes until the sky had darkened further and then I put on my soaked chore coat and went back out. One, two, three…seven chickens were in the coop. I went around to the pen and Captain AmeROOca was still standing in the kennel. I gently nudged him out with the cane that I call my “rooster whacker.” I don’t really whack roosters with it. I actually use my cane like a shepherd’s staff. The rooster wanted in the coop, but refused to go in. I peered through their little door and saw the feet of Sassy, our alpha rooster, standing just inside. Captain AmeROOca must have been banished to the doghouse–both literally and figuratively–for some offense. Maybe he had seduced one of Sassy’s harem? He didn’t want to go in with Sassy right there. Several of the chickens in the coop saw me and came out of the coop. Sassy was one of them. With Sassy out of the way, Captain AmeROOca quickly went into the coop and hopped up on the perch. I walked around into the coop and the rest of the chickens came inside and I quickly shut them in.
The ducks were still outside playing in the puddles. They are easy to get in the coop. All I have to do is call, “Time for bed!” and they start marching into the coop. Even so, some of the ducks tried to made a break for it before going into the coop. They didn’t want to stop playing. I finally got all the poultry in the coop–but not much earlier than usual. I walked back into the house dripping wet.
Yesterday afternoon I found a dead cardinal in the garage. I was horrified and felt my heart break into tiny pieces. Miss Madeline Meadows’ bloodthirstiness is becoming a problem. I wish she’d stick to mice and shrews and leave the beautiful other critters alone. I wish she’d stop bringing her kills into the garage for me to see. She looks sweet, but she is a scary serial killer cat.
I’ve been struggling with abusive wounds. I felt that either I would be utterly destroyed by abuse or I would rise from it stronger and knowing who I am, not letting others define me–there was no middle ground. Last night I received a FB message from a friend who insisted that abusers CHOOSE to abuse. She said that she was angry that I was abused, and that she would listen to me if I needed to talk, that she had my back, and would do battle for me. She was like Wonder Woman! Her letter was so beautifully supportive that I cried when I read it. And I was strengthened and no longer feel as if I will be destroyed. Most abuse victims are not heard, believed, or supported so when someone IS there, it’s extremely healing and strengthening.
Life is good.
Lilies and Life
On Sunday EJ and I went to TSC so he could buy some work boots. His old ones were too worn. While we were there, I bought a box of 32 cans of cat food, another bale of straw, some poultry feed, and some cracked corn for the chickens. I’ve been giving them a scoop at night and when they see me coming to do my evening chores, they all come running in for their treat, which makes it easier to get them all shut up in the coop. I told EJ that I had to buy the corn because I didn’t want to see the disappointed accusations in their eyes if I ran out. I’m easily guilted by animals.
We also bought a 100 foot garden hose for the front of the house from TSC. Then we headed to Joanne Fabrics because I needed some paint pens. We stopped at Meijers, a regional store somewhat similar to Walmart for a couple items. We were going to stop at the local plant nursery, but decided to skip it for now.
Monday, I dragged the TSC poultry supplies out of the back of the Xterra and scooped the feed and cracked corn into the kitty litter buckets. The buckets keep the feed safe from rodents and are easier to lug into the coop. We use empty kitty litter buckets for everything.
Yesterday the weather was nice enough that I hung the clothes out on the clothesline for the first time this year. I have to lug the baskets across the driveway and up hill, but it’s always so peaceful hanging the clothes. I listen to the birds sing in the forest and watch them fly from perch to perch.
Today the weather was forecast to be warmer than yesterday–up into the high 70s, although my thermometer says that it’s in the low 80s. While it was still morning cool, I walked down the driveway and repainted the numbers on my address sign. Many of the wooden letters I had used hadn’t survived the winter, but the numbers were still outlined so I just colored them in directly on the board with the paint pen. I will probably repaint it several times.
Then I spent an hour or two digging up lilies from around the big rocks and replanting them on both sides of the driveway. Our cat Josette helped me for a while; she loves accompanying us when we do chores. Last year I had transplanted many of the lilies to the driveway, but there are so many lilies spreading around the big rocks that I am continuing the job. It’s not easy digging up the lilies; I have to do it in the spring while they are still small. In a day or two, I will sow the wildflower seeds I bought at TSC along the driveway as well. Not only will the wildflowers and lilies look beautiful, but they help hold the soil so it doesn’t erode into deep gullies when the rain rushes down the hill. When we first moved here, there were deep gullies along and across the driveway. We hand-shoveled 90 tons of gravel and soil into the gullies, and I built rock dams to stop the water carrying it all away. The plants are the next stage of my erosion control…and it is actually all working.
Of course, deer consider lilies a yummy delicacy so they eat them. But I’m hoping the lilies will spread and the deer won’t be able to eat them all.
I took Hannah down the driveway with me while I worked because she gets into trouble in the house. She obeys me when I’m watching her (mostly), but when we are out of sight she goes through the pet door into the entrance hall, gets into the pantry, and eats the cats’ food. I have tried various methods to make the food dish inaccessible to Hannah and accessible to the cats, some of whom are older, but Hannah is clever and determined. I tell her that when her vet reprimands us because she’s gaining weight, I’m going to tell the vet that we measure out exactly the amount of food Hannah is supposed to have (a cup twice a day), but Hannah steals the cats’ food–and any other thing she can find to eat.
Yesterday when I had Hannah in the house while I worked outside a little, I came back to find that she had poked her head through the storm door in the living room. It was a little ripped from the previous owners, but she totally push her head through. Fortunately it wasn’t open that far so she couldn’t get out–although the cats could have escaped (but didn’t). So now we have to keep the big door closed until we can get the screen fixed. I’m not sure when that will happen–we have other projects we want to work at this summer.
Hannah is very stubborn, but also smart and very cute. Whenever EJ kisses me–when he leaves for work or arrives home, or a goodnight kiss when he heads to bed–Hannah rushes up for a kiss too. I took this video the other night when EJ kissed me goodnight. Hannah came running with a bark to get her lovings. Although the lights were on in the house, the video is a little dark, but you can still see her running up.
I slid the handle of Hannah’s retractable leash over the t-posts so she could roam a bit without running free while I worked today. She found a tennis ball in the weeds and played with that for a while, chasing it when it rolled down the driveway.
By the time I had planted all the lilies in my wheelbarrow, I was sweating with the heat. I trudged back up the driveway and put away the wheelbarrow and shovel. I have to laugh because I have a friend who lives in southern Texas. Sometimes she said, “Brrrr! It’s really cold today! I had to wear a jacket.” And I say, “Whew, it’s super hot here in Michigan.” We ask each other what the temperature is where the other one is. She says, “It’s 85 degrees. Brrrr!” I say, “It’s 76 here! I’m melting!”
With the warmer weather (but cold for Texas), I can see a smudge of green on the trees as their leaves start to unfold. I’m quite sure there is more green this afternoon than there was even this morning. Spring has sprung! But the low is expected to plunged down to 32 degrees Thursday night so I haven’t yet taken my house plants out on the deck for the summer, and I haven’t yet uncovered my garden.
After the inactivity of this winter, I find that I tire easily. When I need to take a break, I sit in my chair by the window drinking ice tea and watching the chickadees bringing grass and moss into the birdhouse just outside.
I took a video of the Pileated Woodpeckers’ damage to our trees. They really shred the trees, although their holes do provide homes for other birds and critters. Here is a video I took of some of the trees:
I am pleased that I can do all this hard work. There is still a little bruising and my fingers are still stiff but I’m still doing my hand exercises every day and I can do more with less discomfort. My hand is healing and strengthening! Yay! I can even crochet, although because of my stiff fingers working with the smaller crochet cotton is more difficult than regular worsted weight. Still…I’m getting there.
I’m focusing on the peace and delights in our Enchanted Forest to balance the deep sadness in my heart. On the one hand, I think that EJ and I can no longer endure being insulted and having our boundaries–which are just basic politeness and consideration–ignored. EJ and I have endured so many abusive family relationships that have battered us. We need peace and healing. On the other hand, we didn’t want the relationship to fall apart. We deeply love the person and preferred that he/she had chosen to cease the insults rather than stay away. We never wanted no relationship at all. I wish I was a person who could easily shrug things like this off, but I always struggle. Loss of relationship always feels like death to me. I keep thinking: Did we do the right thing in setting this boundary? When we repeatedly tell someone to stop and they don’t, what else can we do? How could we have endured the way things were? We couldn’t. How can we endure the way things are now? We can’t. Sometimes there is no winning.
Life is tough.
But Spring eventually follows Winter.
Right?
May Days…and Nights
During the week, I get up when EJ does. While he gets ready for work, I feed Hannah, who gobbles down her food in a flash. Then I take her outside to “do her business.” After that, I feed in the inside cats and continue into the garage to feed the outside cats. I go through the garage back door to care for the ducks and chickens, which involves filling the drinking buckets and the duck pool, opening the small duck and chicken doors, and making sure they all have food.
Thursday morning I fed Hannah and took her outside as usual. As we stepped back on the porch to go into the house, I spotted a HUGE wolf spider at the corner of the door. It was not as big as Shelob, the monster I discovered in our back yard last summer, but it was still very big. I obviously had walked over it on my way outside with Hannah [shudder], but I was not going to walk over it now that I knew it was there. If I opened the door, it could easily drop into the house. I pulled Hannah over to the deck and I knocked on the door opening into the living room. I had neglected to take my keys with me. EJ let me in, and I explained about the HUGE wolf spider. He did not appreciate the horror of it. I grabbed my can of Raid spider killer, which was almost empty, and sprayed and sprayed it until it was dead.
Later in the day I went to get groceries at our local grocery store. I made sure to find the aisle of death where all the creepy crawly sprays are. I was horrified that there was no spider spray on the shelf, but fortunately an employee was filling empty shelves with new supplies and she had a box full of spider spray. Whew. I also bought a can of ant spray because sometimes ants get the house. I told the employee that NOW I am ready for warm weather!
I have been noticing that our male duck, Cuddles, doesn’t seem to be acting like his old self. He had really loved Esther, so I wonder if he is still grieving her death a month or so ago. We got Esther from EJ’s sister. She was an older duck who was lame. I’m sure she died of old age. Once we brought her home, Cuddles had eyes only for her and spent all his time with her. Now he’s just kind of hanging out by himself and isn’t interested in the other females.
Yesterday was quite raining. Rainy days make me feel cozy and unmotivated. It didn’t help that I hadn’t slept well the night before so I was very tired. I did finally get myself going and got a few things done.
I haven’t seen the bluebirds in a couple of days, so I think they moved out of the birdhouse. I suspect that maybe the common grackles I saw in the area might have chased them out? I’m sorry the bluebirds aren’t there, but we still have chickadees in the birdhouse near the deck.
Today, Saturday, EJ and I had a quiet, restful day. We walked down to the mailbox with Hannah and then took a detour through the forest. EJ was hoping to find some morel mushrooms. He didn’t see any, but we did see some yellow trout lilies. I don’t know why they are called trout lilies, but they are very pretty. They are growing all through our forest. Later I found some Dutchman’s Breeches. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever seen them outside of a photo so I was really excited. I knew immediately what they were because they look just like breeches.
The weather was so beautiful that EJ and I decided to have a campfire–our first this year. EJ found branches and built the fire while I made popcorn. We sat and talked around the warm fire while the night grew dark and the air grew chilly. There were billions of stars glittering in the sky. Some shone through the branches of the trees like Christmas tree lights. EJ saw several meteorites, but I always seemed to be looking the wrong way. Our cat Josette and stayed with us until our fire died and we went into the house.
Death & Destruction
Yesterday the temperature climbed all the way up into the low 80s! That was nice, although a wee bit too hot. I wouldn’t mind a balance between frigid cold and sweltering hot. I saw a few tiny spots of snow yesterday afternoon. It’s all gone today.
Today is a bit cooler with a high of 67 degrees. It stormed overnight. I didn’t hear the thunder, but EJ did. He saw that Hannah was a bit nervous so he slept the rest of the night in his chair with her on his lap.
With the warmer temps, Spring is springing. The lilac bushes are budding almost over night, and I’ve seen crocuses and daffodils in blossom. I often see the bluebirds at one of the birdhouses near the big rocks so they definitely have moved in. Their bright colors always fills me with delight and I’m thrilled that I get to watch them. I think that chickadees have moved into the birdhouse near the deck–just outside my window. Although Miss Madeline Meadows stood at the bottom of the posts chittering at them–I scared her away. I didn’t see the chickadees for a while after that and I wasn’t sure whether to be sad if they didn’t nest in the birdhouse or relieved that they might find someplace safer. They did return though. I really think Madeline is exceeding the parameters of her job and I might have to put a reprimand in her permanent file.
This is the first time since we’ve moved here that the birds have been interested in the birdhouses. I think it’s thrilling and delightful.
Yesterday morning I cleaned out the poultry coop. In previous winters I raked out the soiled straw through the winter, but this year I couldn’t do it with my fractured risk–and EJ was busy, tired, and in pain to do more than feed, water, and collect eggs. So cleaning out the winter’s accumulation was a very difficult, sweaty job. I stuck to it and with a shovel, potato fork (using it like a pitchfork), and rake I got it done, and now it looks really nice.
This morning when I went out to let ducks and chickens out of the coop, I found Butterfly dead in the straw. It made me sad. She was my second favorite hen. She always had a lot of gossip to tell me. All the other chickens were silent and huddled together at the top of their perch. I checked to make sure there was no predator lurking in the coop but I didn’t see any. I asked EJ if chickens grieved when one of the flock died, and he replied, “Of course they do.” I didn’t see any obvious cause of death. EJ wondered if she might have gotten startled by a crash of thunder or something. Poor thing. 😥
When I got back into the house after finishing my morning chores, EJ told me that he had read on Facebook that there was an explosion and massive fire at the magnesium company he had worked at for 17 years downstate. I’m glad he no longer works there. Magnesium is very explosive and over the years there has been quite a few explosions and fires but none like this, of course. The company is one of the biggest magnesium plants in the world. It makes parts for many automakers, including Ford, GM, BMW, Fiat and Daimler Chrysler. The fire could lead to an adverse affect on the auto industry and Michigan’s economy.
Fortunately, there were no serious injuries or deaths from the explosion.
Open Windows
Weather in Michigan is a big thing. Maybe because it changes so much. I heard that the week of the last snowstorm we got, we had every possible type of weather except hurricanes–sun/warmth, cold, snow, sleet, rain, wind….This last weekend, the overnight lows dipped down into the low 20s. The water froze in my garden hose and when I turned on the faucet to fill the duck pool, it pushed out ice cubes. But today it is 72 degrees. Whoo hoo! As soon the temperature rose to the high 60s, I opened the windows. Tomorrow the high is supposed to be near 80! EJ said that will be too hot. LOL.
Our local National Weather Service posted a high fire danger warning for our area. That makes no sense to me. How can we go from 40 inches of snow this month to “it’s so dry there is fire danger”?
With the snow mostly gone–although, amazingly, I still see a few small piles of snow–I’ve been walking Hannah down to the mailbox, which I haven’t done much since I broke my arm. I’m teaching Hannah the Hebrew word for “with me” to teach her to walk with me. It makes me laugh when she walks with me before I command her to. I know she’s doing it because she walks right next to me with her eyes on my face, hoping for her treat. She’s very food motivated.
Last Thursday I walked Hannah down to get the mail. Our cat Josette walked down with us. She’s such a sweetheart–very friendly. She loves to accompany us when we take care of the ducks and chickens.
I was dismayed to find a jury summons in the mailbox–my second in the three years we’ve lived here. I am not surprised to get frequent jury summons because there are less than 20,000 people living in our whole county. That’s not a large pool to draw from. However, I think it’s terribly unfair that EJ has not yet received any summons. In fact, in his whole life, he has only gotten a summons ONE TIME–and he was excused because he had already moved north. Me? I have probably received close to a dozen summons in my life. I haven’t yet had to serve as juror, but I’m sure sooner or later I will. At least I know have my own vehicle so I don’t have to worry about transportation.
Thursday afternoon my shelves were delivered. I put them together with Hannah’s help. She sat next to me…and ate plastic pieces from the box. The first time I saw her eating something…I gasped in dismay. The second time, I pried open her jaws…which wasn’t easy. Then I realized she was only eating the spacers used to separate and protect the shelves during shipping. I tried to keep the pieces safe from her but she almost got a fastener I needed. At last, however, even with Hannah’s distraction, I got the shelves together and in the closet in our library.
The next day I happily organized my craft closet. It looks really nice with the two shelving units in it.
My broken wrist is feeling better so I am going to begin trying to crochet again. I’m not sure I can crochet for long periods of time, but I’ll at least give it a try–and I’m quite sure the crocheting movements will help exercise my wrist and strengthen it.
Saturday EJ and I had an enjoyably quiet, peaceful day. Sunday I cleaned the house while he did a bit of maintenance on the vehicles.
I’ve seen the bluebirds back at the birdhouses a few times. I was hoping that they had decided to move in but in this video it looks as if they are taking nest material out of the birdhouse to use elsewhere. Oh, well, just knowing that there are bluebirds in our forest fills me with happiness.
Who I Am
I used to watch a TV series called NCIS. I haven’t watched it in a long time. I stopped watching when Ziva left. In the series, Special Agent Leroy Gibbs had a list of rules that he lived by. They were rules like “Always wear gloves at a crime scene” or “Don’t believe what you are told. Always double-check.”
I also have rules that I try to live by. Well, I call them principles. They are:
- Be kind to people. Life is difficult and people suffer enough without deliberately hurting them.
- People have the right to make decisions for themselves and their immediate families, whether or not others agree with them, but they don’t have the right to make decisions for others. I think too often people try to make their own personal preferences binding on others.
- People shouldn’t demand from others what they are unwilling to give. So, for example, if you want people to respect your boundaries, you ought to respect theirs. If you want people to take care of items they borrowed from you, you ought to take care of items you borrow.
- I am not offended if people don’t ask for my advice. If they do ask for my advice, I tell them what I did in a similar situation and why, or I give them principles that I think might be applicable. However, I think they should have the freedom to decide whether to take or reject the advice. I believe that no two situations are identical, and the people involved are different, so the dynamics are different. If a person is helped by what I say, great, but they have to decide if the advice works for them in their situation.
- I try to be flexible. Sometimes a person has to cancel a scheduled event because something unexpected happens. I’ve heard that some people get angry when a plan is canceled. I can’t image why angry. Life happens. My best friend and I always cancel on each other–because we don’t feel well, we didn’t sleep the night before, we had an unexpected problem. We always say, “No problem.” Life happens.
- I think we should repent when we screw up, and that we should forgive those who repent when they screw up. I used to believe that we should forgive people whether they repented or not, but then I painfully learned that relationships are impossible with such people–and the Bible teaches that we are to forgive those who REPENT, and stay away from arrogant, evil people. I could say a lot about this topic but…moving on.
So these are some of my life principles, I could list others, but basically they boil down to I try to “do unto others as I would have them do unto me,” and not do unto others what I would hate to have done to me.
I used to think that if we treated people with kindness, compassion, respect, forgiveness, and freedom, they would treat us with love and forgiveness. Then I learned that there are people who enjoy cruelty and who thirst for power and control. Their hearts aren’t melted by kind-hearted people. Instead, they view kind-hearted people as wimps, easy marks, sheep to be sheared. In fact, these predators specifically target kind-hearted people because they know that they will show them compassion, keep forgiving, keep trying, even while they are being destroyed. (What Kind of Woman Does an Abusive Man Go For?) Using tactics such as anger/kindness, gaslighting, lies, blame, criticism, insults, belittling, minimizing, and others, an abuser is able to make his victim believe that the abuse is her fault–she is not loving enough, forgiving enough, trusting enough, capable enough, generous enough, etc. Dr. George Simon, who has worked with “character disturbed people” for decades, describes these tactics very well on his website. It’s eye-opening. I wrote about the abuse cycle the other day, and mentioned many of these things.
One tactic an abuser uses is to provoke, becoming more and more insulting until the victim reacts. If she defends herself, he might accuse her of always thinking she is right. If she confronts his behavior, he might accuse her of being critical and never saying anything good about him. If she breaks down and cries, he will accuse her of being over-sensitive and crying about “nothing.” If she got angry, he accuses her of being angry and bitter. If she refuses to respond and keeps silent, he accuses her of being passive-aggressive or never wanting to deal with the issues. Every response can be used against her. There is no way to win.
The effect on the victim is damaging. She believes she is not over-critical, over-sensitive, or always thinks she is right, but she did say some negative things. She did cry or get angry. She is asserting that she is right. She thinks he is the aggressor, but what if he is right about what he says about her?
This, I think, is where a victim’s identity crumbles–when she doesn’t know who or what she is. I’ve told EJ now and then that I don’t really know who I am. I don’t know if I am good or evil, kind or mean–a monster? Who am I? There is a scene in a Doctor Who episode called The Bells of St. John that hits me really hard. In the scene, there are many people crying, “I don’t know where I am!” It always echoes my cries but in my mind I change the words to: “I don’t know who I am.”
I don’t know where [who] I am.
It’s like I’m breaking into a million different pieces… (Clara, Doctor Who)
I can recognize that it’s abusive to yell at me for hours, to get angry at me when I say “no,” to insult me, swear at me, to tell me that I am a waste of air. I know it’s abusive to tell me that I am “a daughter from Hell, the worst daughter a mother can have.” (For most of my life until I got engaged, my Mom always called me “the Caring One” and “the one I can count on to be helpful.”) I can recognize it’s abuse when it’s happening.
But later, I think “What if what they said is true? What if I really am the daughter from Hell? The monster? What if I am unaware of my awfulness just like a person can’t smell his own bad body odor but everyone else can?”
But then I remember that it is never ok to yell, insult, belittle people or to accuse them of doing things they never did, or to disregard their boundaries. A person MUST set healthy boundaries or they will live in torment forever.
But then I wonder (in agony) what if they are acting this way because of me? What if I am a failure? What if I have violated all the principles that I value and want to live? What if I am overly sensitive and misunderstanding this person?
But then I read descriptions of abusers and the effect on victims and it’s exactly what I’ve experienced. Exactly. So it’s not me. I must protect myself by refusing to accept their accusations.
And back and forth and back and forth it goes: One moment determined, the next wracked with guilt and shame. I am a monster. I am not a monster. I don’t know who I am. I don’t know who I am. I totally relate to this scene in the movie Tangled. All my friends thought this movie was humorous, but I cried because it’s such an accurate depiction of emotional abuse.
But as Natalie Hoffman wrote in her blog, Flying Free:
SHE IS COURAGEOUS. SHE SURVIVES THE REJECTION OF HER LOVE AND THE DEHUMANIZATION OF HER SPIRIT, AND STILL SHE GOES INTO EACH DAY WITH HOPE.
During her marriage [or other abusive relationship; EJ is awesome but our families aren’t] she would get up each day with a renewed sense of hope and faith. She would love her family and care for her home in spite of chronic rejection and criticism.
When she takes steps to get out of her abusive environment, she will need this courage—because getting out is a red-hot hellish journey. She will now need to survive rejection from her religious community, her extended family, some of her friends (the “fair weather” ones), and sometimes of her own adult children (sadly – very common).
Yet, she will rise. Given time, this woman WILL RISE because her faith isn’t in people. It’s in Jesus.
