I Love To Go A Gardening
Growing Our Life in Northern Michigan
My Baseball Shirt
I sat down to write this post, but Luke decided he wanted to cuddle. Luke kept rubbing against me and touching my face. He lay on my arm and wiggled on the keyboard. I tried to push him away, but when a cat decides to cuddle, resistance is futile. I stopped writing and cuddled him until he decided that he had had enough. Now that he has gone off to sleep in the window, I can get back to writing.
I have wanted to go to the Hospice thrift store for more than a week, but every day we wake up and are too unmotivated to go. This week, especially, we have been tired and unmotivated. But yesterday morning EJ and I finally made the effort to go–mostly because I really needed to buy some jeans because mine were wearing out and getting holes in them.
I hate buying new jeans at a clothing store because there are too many choices. Not only do I have to make sure that I get the right size, I have to get the right length. I have shorter legs so regular length jeans are too long. There are also choices like boot cut, or narrow cut, or classic cut, or wide cut, and how high or low the waist is. Always, in trying to make sure that one part of the jeans fit, I lose track of the other parts so I get them home and it’s “Rats!” these aren’t right!” Sometimes, even when I have somehow managed to choose all the right size, length, and “fits,” they still don’t fit right. Grrrr! But at the thrift store, the selections and quantity are very limited so I don’t feel overwhelmed by choices. If I do buy jeans that don’t feel right, it’s not so bad because I only paid a few dollars for them. Yesterday I was successful in buying jeans that fit wonderfully.
I also bought some t-shirts because my t-shirts were all getting stains and holes in them–even my favorite yellow shirt and my favorite teal shirt. The stains are mostly from food splashing on me when I cook or from being sloppy when I eat. The holes are from cats who like to ride around on my shoulders and dig into me to keep their balance. I think thrift shops are like treasure hunts because a person doesn’t go there with the expectation of getting a particular thing, but is always surprised at what she finds. I found quite a few t-shirts, including a NASA one (I love space), an Ireland one (my ancestry is mostly Irish from both parents), and a baseball shirt. I think baseball shirts are cool and I have wanted one for a long time even though I am not really interested in baseball. I never bought one at the stores because they were always too expensive, so finding one at the thrift shop for a few dollars was a treasure. When we got home, I showed EJ my t-shirts and he thought they were all wonderful. “You did good,” he said. But when I showed him my baseball shirt, he said, “The CARDINALS??? You bought a CARDINALS shirt?” because our state team is the Detroit Tigers, not the St. Louis Cardinals. Going into my storyteller mode, I told him that the Cardinals was the PERFECT shirt for me because I think cardinals are beautiful birds and I love it when they come to my bird feeders.” Go Cardinals!
I also bought JJ a couple of things: a couple of shirts and a long-handled luffa sponge back washer. He had asked me to get him one, and he loves the one I bought him (only 75 cents!). EJ bought a tiny teapot (he loves teapots even though we have no space to display them), some kitchen utensils, a cooler to use for fishing, and a cute little Delft dish. When we got home, I was trying to find my keys to open the door and a bag slipped out of my hands and fell on the porch. It was the only bag with anything breakable in it. The Delft dish broke. After an initial incredulous “You broke my dish?” EJ remembered that it cost less than $2 and he accepted the loss graciously.
When I was doing dishes yesterday, I looked out the window and saw my neighbor working on his riding lawn mower. He started it and a cloud of smoke puffed out of it so he opened the “hood” and began working on the motor. I thought, “So…the rebellion of the Rebel Scum lawn mowers is spreading.” My neighbor got his mower going after a short time…but who knows for how long? EJ said earlier in the day that he would mow our lawn in a few days, but I told him that it really is my job and I would do it. I am the one who can best do it–I mean, EJ has to work so much and JJ doesn’t have the strength–so I will try again to mow the yard. But if it breaks one more time, I QUIT.
I spent the afternoon paying bills. Then I walked to the post office to mail them. I took Danny with me, so he actually got TWO walks yesterday. He was a lucky dog.
This morning I started making challah bread as soon as I got up. Challah bread recipes make two large loaves, and many times we are not able to eat them before they go bad. I decided today to make four smaller loaves and freeze two of them for next week’s Shabbat. My friends tell me they often freeze challah bread and it works well. My bread turned out beautifully today.
While the challah was rising, I also made two homemade pizzas–one big and one small. I used to not like homemade pizzas because I thought the dough tasted too “bready.” Several years ago, I began searching for a good pizza recipe. I found some pretty good ones, but last fall I found an absolutely delicious recipe at AllRecipe.com. I made the pizzas today hoping to have some for leftovers tomorrow, but my family devoured the big pizza and I don’t expect the small pizza to last through the day. It was a good plan that didn’t work.
JJ’s sleep cycle has been messed up ever since he began Chemo. He now is awake all night and sleeps until late afternoon. He hates sleeping all day so this week he asked me to wake him at 1 p.m. When I wake him, he always moans that he is too tired. Since there is no reason for him to get up and he needs sleep, I always reassure him that it’s ok if he goes back to sleep. He has told me that he doesn’t want me to give up trying to wake him up even though he always goes back to sleep. Today, I asked him if he wanted to celebrate Shabbat with us. Although Shabbat doesn’t really begin until sunset, we always have our meal at noon so EJ can participate before he goes to work. At first JJ groaned that he was too tired, but he really loves Shabbat so he forced himself to get up anyway. He went back to bed at about 4 p.m.
JJ often feels impatient and frustrated because he feels he ought to be “back to normal” but he is still very tired and has little strength. A friend who has also been battling cancer, wrote me at FB that when she told her “naturopath” (who fights cancer with natural methods) that she expected to be further improved than she is, he said “no, she wasn’t ‘out of the woods’ yet, and that recovery was–and needed to be–slow and steady.” My friend says that she has been told by other cancer patients that ‘normal’ may be very different from what it once was, and life will never be the same again. “And that would apply to you and EJ as well because you have lived through the trauma with JJ and experienced it vicariously.” I shared my friend’s message with JJ and I think it really helped to reassure him that he wasn’t just being lazy or anything. Hearing this from another sources adds weight to what we’ve been telling him.
Last night when EJ came home from work, he said he found out why a co-worker had suddenly quit last April: Twelve years ago he had been diagnosed with testicular cancer–the same kind as JJ–and had beat it, but it has returned with a vengeance. His cancer, which is now Stage 4, has wrapped around his spine and paralyzed him from the waist down. EJ reassured me that the difference between JJ and this co-worker is that the co-worker has drank, smoked, and done drugs in the years between cancers and JJ does none of that. But I always feel a stab of fear when I hear that someone’s cancer has returned, especially if it’s testicular cancer. I think that’s one of the ways that cancer has changed our lives. Before JJ got sick, we never imagined that our son would get cancer, especially not as young as he is. But after he was diagnosed with cancer, it has forever moved from “unimaginable” to “possible.” I think that the fear of “possible” will never totally leave us.
A Garden Expression
Yesterday morning EJ fixed the mower and then he mowed the lawn. It was a relatively simple problem, and he offered to show me how he fixed it, but I refused. I told him that I was so frustrated by my constant battle with the mowers this summer that I didn’t even want to look at a mower right now. The mower struggles became a metaphor for things in my life that I can’t live with but I can’t fix.
Later in the afternoon, a neighbor saw us in the garden and came over to chat. Unaware of our mower problems, she said that she has struggled with her mower this summer–in fact, she has broken two mowers. She can borrow her parent’s mower to mow the front yard, but they don’t want her to mow the back yard where the dogs’ droppings are, so her back yard has long grass. (I hadn’t noticed.) I commiserated with her problems, telling her that we were struggling with broken mowers too. I secretly thought, “Ha! The mowers’ rebellion is spreading!” I have decided that all mowers are rebels and I will now refer to them as “rebel scum.” (Sorry, Simone, but I will no longer sweet-talk these evil machines who are making lives’ miserable.)
We had storms during the night. It felt as if all night there was the constant rumble of thunder. The thunder woke me enough that I knew what it was and it disturbed my sleep, but not enough to wake me fully or to motivate me to check radar. Today has been so humid that I feel as if I could make a twisting motion with my hands and squeeze water out of the air.
I (we) got a lot of little tasks done this morning. I stopped at the bank, bought milk at the little gas station store, and picked up the mail at the post office. EJ and I returned a friend’s truck that we had borrowed. I also rescued a baby bird from Annie’s jaws. I happened to glance out the window and saw her running with it so I rushed out and saved it. It was unharmed. It calmly let me pick it up in my hands and carry it to the tray feeder where it would be safe from falling and from cats until it recovered from its ordeal. A little later I check and it was gone. I thought how magical it was that a little wild bird would rest trustingly in my hands. When I was a child, I always ranted to be like Doctor Dolittle and talk to the animals. Experiences like this make me feel I am almost there.
This morning I was pondering how wonderful it feels to have the lawn all neatly mowed. Then I laughed because while the lawn is neat, my garden is a riot of wildness. And that made me think of my neighbors’ gardens, which are all neatly mulched. That reminded me of how much I appreciate that people and gardens are so different. I delight in differences because I think that it is peoples’ differences, gifts, and strengths, and even their idiosyncrasies, weaknesses and wounds that make them beautifully unique. How boring it would be if we were all the same. The same is true of their gardens. I admire my neighbor’s gardens.
I think gardeners are like artists and their gardens are their canvases. Each gardener “paints” a beautiful picture with their garden that is an expression of who they are. There is no right and wrong about their gardens. There is only unique differences and beauty.
I like my lawn (the little bit that there is) to be neatly mowed. When it’s not, I feel a sense of clutter and disorder and chaos in my spirit which drags me down. I hate going out in the yard when the mower is broke and the grass is high. A neatly mowed lawn makes me feel calm and joyful. However, my garden is not orderly or neat. It is not mulched with flowers in nice little groupings. My garden has a neat path running through it, but the plants are a riot of wildness, with plants spreading and appearing in surprising places. Sometimes new plants appear; I don’t know where they came from–probably the wind blows seeds or the birds drop them. My garden has snakes and frogs and birds and butterflies crawling and hopping and fluttering around. Even spiders and insects have their place in the garden (as long as they are not on ME.) I am delighted by the things in my garden–both planned and surprising, both wildlife and plant. I love the neatness of my lawn and the little bit of wildness in my garden.
My garden is an expression of who I am. I have always been able to fulfill obligations in my life–like to go school or work, do dishes and wash clothes–but I have always needed to also have a little bit of wildness in my life, a little bit of time that was not organized or obligated in which I could do whatever I wanted. If all my life was without order, I would feel chaotic and stressed. If all of my life was regimented, I would feel stifled and restricted. I need a little bit of both. That is what I express with my lawn and garden.
Tears of Impotent Rage
Yesterday started out bumpy for me because I feel increasingly frustrated by the problems with the lawn mower. Every mower I touch this summer dies. I don’t know how to fix an ailing mower and EJ is too busy (or tired) from hours of working to have to keep working on them. Meanwhile, the grass keeps growing but I am powerless to mow it. I feel frustrated and angry with the whole situation. I have never had such a struggle with a mower. I can’t sleep well at night because I am trying to figure out how to defeat evil lawn mowers and get the stupid grass mowed.
I explained all this to JJ as we drove to find some fireworks to set off in the evening. He exclaimed, “I get it. You feel Tears of Impotent Rage!” Impotent, for those who might not know, is primarily defined as “Unable to take effective action; helpless or powerless.” That described exactly how I feel this summer in my battle with the lawn mower. As soon as JJ and I got home, I dramatically declared to EJ, “I feel Tears of Impotent Rage!” Identifying what I felt in such a descriptive way helped reduce it. Somewhat. I love my family. We all love to read, watch movies, and research. We all love stories and words and quotes. Therefore, we can come up with poetic descriptions like “Tears of Impotent Rage.”
For a few years, when JJ was young, we went to firework displays in nearby towns for the 4th of July (USA’s Independence Day) celebrations. When JJ got old enough, he preferred to stay home and light our own fireworks. We set them off in the street in front of our house as soon as it was dark enough. Our street is very short. There are only three houses on it, and there’s not a lot of traffic. We usually buy our fireworks from a one-armed man who sells them from his house a few miles outside of our village at this time of year. The man is nice. He sells fireworks very cheaply so we can buy quite a few for not much money. JJ has always carefully considered what to buy, keeping track of the total in his head until he reached the total that he could spend. When he has approached the man to pay for his “loot,” the man always asked, “How much did you calculate this will cost?” And JJ says $15 (or $20). The man says, “How about you give me $5?” JJ always thinks that’s too low so he says, “How about $10?” The man responds with “How about $7?” and JJ agrees and hands over his money. Then we enjoy JJ’s evening presentation.
Yesterday morning, there was no “Fireworks for sale” signs at the end of the man’s driveway. Apparently he isn’t selling them this year. So JJ and I went to “Plan B.” We drove to a fireworks tent temporarily set up in the parking lot of a grocery store called Meijers. We went inside the tent and almost died of heart failure: The number of fireworks we bought from the one-armed man for less than $10 cost $50, $90, or more in the tent. JJ said, “This is too much. Let’s not buy any.” I agreed. So we decided to go with Plan C and drive to a small grocery store in the small town where EJ works and get some “picnic foods.” They had a fireworks display in the store, which we looked at (Plan D), but they also cost much too much. So we selected and purchased our food items. As we left the store, I said, “We could always go with Plan X….” JJ said, “No, we can’t label our Plans with letters anymore because they are now too numerous. We have to label them with numbers.” So I said, “Ok. So Plan 56 is that we can find a local town’s celebration tonight and watch their fireworks from a nearby parking lot away from all the crowds…”
EJ has recently re-connected with a friend he had known in high school. This friend invited us to do something together with his family for the 4th of July. But EJ is “on call” for work this weekend, which means that if there are any problems, he has to go in to work and fix them. Also, JJ is feeling very “agoraphopic” since his cancer treatments. Large crowds make him anxious and he says he “freaks out” when he sees the bald head of someone obviously undergoing chemo. After a winter of running to medical appointments, encouraging JJ, and interacting with medical people, I feel burned out. I can’t find the energy to be “entertaining.” And EJ also is very tired. I don’t know if other people feel this terrible lack of energy, lack of motivation, and agoraphobia that we are feeling after cancer treatment. It could be we feel it in this way because we are introverts who are exhausted by too many people and activities, but after our busy winter we are craving quietness and slowness.
About mid-afternoon, JJ went upstairs to nap. EJ got called in to work and since the problem was small and wouldn’t take long to fix, I went with him. We also took Danny with us. Not very many people were working so the parking lot had very few cars in it. After EJ disappeared into his factory, I sat in the car with the door open and read. I had Danny’s retractable leash on him so he roamed around for a bit and then settled in the grass. The early evening was beautiful. It was quiet and very pleasant.
JJ woke up and came downstairs when we returned home. We weren’t home for more than 10 minutes when EJ’s company called about another problem. EJ had to turn around and go back to work. This problem was more major and would take longer to fix, so I couldn’t go with him. With EJ gone, JJ and I had no transportation, so we couldn’t go anywhere. JJ began to feel bad about our lack of fireworks, even though he said that he doesn’t regret not paying too much for them. I think he was divided by his desire for fun and his desire for quiet. Finally, just before 10 p.m., I told him to get his shoes on because we were going for a walk. JJ chose to follow the route I always take when I walk Danny–but we didn’t bring Danny because we didn’t want him to be scared by booms. We watched fireworks in various yards and chatted while we walked. Many of the fireworks were bigger than the ones we always buy and reached high into the sky. At one point, the origin of some fireworks wasn’t too far away–just behind the houses we were passing–and we walked pretty much under the colorful explosions. It was rather neat, although I did hope we wouldn’t get hurt.
A couple of minutes after we got home, EJ walked in. Although most of the towns’ celebrations would be over, we decided to go for a drive. We encountered quite a few deer crossing the country roads here and there. We love seeing the deer, but JJ and I were a bit nervous because we didn’t want any to unexpectedly jump in front of us and cause an accident. There are a lot of deer in our area and every now and then car-deer accidents. EJ wasn’t nervous because he was confident of his ability to see and avoid them. We drove through the nearby town and got caught in the traffic of people driving and walking home after the firework celebrations. I didn’t mind because I think it’s fun to people watch.
We didn’t know at first where to go, but after considering different options (Plans 6,303 through 6,489), we decided to head back to Meijers for ice cream and toppings. We had fun walking through the almost deserted store and discussing which ice cream and toppings to buy. JJ said the bright lights and colors hurt his eyes–another effect of chemo? We got home around midnight, had a bowl of ice cream, and–eventually–all went to bed.
With a few sort of rocky times, our day had ended well.
Historical Stories
Yesterday EJ and I took my precious laptop to the repair shop. The repair guy looked it over, saw that it started and then shut itself off, and said that my laptop problem was very weird. That is not surprising. I always have weird problems. Like new lawn mowers that break after one month. Later the repair shop called me to tell me that my laptop’s fan definitely needed replacing (which I expected since it’s been not acting right for a while) and they wanted my permission to replace it. They don’t know yet if there are other problems since they can’t do anything more until the fan is replaced. I am really hoping that there are no major problems or major bills.
Last night a very severe storm came through our area. We knew it was coming because we watched it approach on Accuweather radar, but I went to bed anyways because I was tired. I figured I’d try to get at least some sleep before the storm. Despite the severity of the storm, I probably would have slept through it all except JJ came and woke me up when it hit–about 2 a.m.–because there were tornado warnings in a nearby county and my guys wanted me to be awake if we had to run to the basement. I protested waking up, but JJ did not give up until I was downstairs. The lightning was constant and dramatic, the winds were very strong, and it rained hard and sideways. Today I’ve heard that there are a lot of branches down and many people are without power, but our electricity didn’t even flicker.
Because of the interrupted sleep, I am very, very tired today. But I am also tired because of things happening in the world. This post is more serious than usual.
At Facebook, I read and share a lot about what is happening in the world as well as my beliefs and opinions about spiritual and political things. I have a lot of people and pages that I learn from. Many times I just listen. Sometimes I join in if I feel I have something to add. I also share a lot of cute animal videos and links about interesting creatures and places in the world. I find that I have to balance the serious or heartbreaking news stories with softer, happier things. I once started a blog in which I shared my beliefs and opinions, but I felt that others are better able to write about such things, while no one can share MY story. So I have kept THIS blog as a nice, gentle place to refresh my spirit. Sometimes I cannot handle the big global things. I need to focus on the small, everyday things for a bit.
Besides….
My parents taught me a love for history. When I was growing up, we never vacationed to places such as Cedar Point or Disneyland. Instead, my Dad always planned vacations to historical places. While there, my Mom always said things like, “Imagine having to raise the sheep, shear them, spin the wool, and weave the cloth so you could make clothes to wear.” Or “Imagine having to cook meals over a fire.” My Mom also made us watch historical events on TV, such as President Nixon’s resignation. I was young enough at the time that I didn’t understand its significance and it was boring to me, but she insisted we watch because “You are watching history.” I’m glad she did. As an adult, I also choose to watch events on TV because “they are history.” My Mom taught me that history is not merely about dates of major events such as discoveries or wars, but about people and their stories of their lives. Their lives became part of the fabric of history. What happened yesterday affects people today, and what happens today will effect people tomorrow. Because of my parents, I have a love of history, and I take note of what is happening in the world. EJ also loves history and we have tried to pass this love and understanding to JJ. EJ and I have connected cause and effect of historical and current events for JJ, and have described events we have lived through and what we felt at the time, and have said, “Pay attention: THIS is history.” We have been successful in passing down a love of history to JJ and he is deeply knowledgeable about it.
In this blog, I write about the small events of my life. In a way, I write about nothing, and yet, I also write about important somethings. Laura Ingalls Wilder also wrote about the day-to-day nothings of her life, the daily chores and tasks and events that were common and ordinary to everyone in her day, but which has given future generations a glimpse into a “historical” life that no longer exists. While BIG WORLD events are taught as significant, it is the stories of people who describe them in their diaries and journals that give them true meaning and allow us to understand. We understand World War 2 because of stories like Anne Frank, a little girl who was affected by it. It is the small glimpses into the lives of people trying to survive in their world, a world of events that would later be significant, that I find most fascinating. My blog is in many ways unimportant, but in other ways, in other times, might allow a glimpse into what life was like during my time to future generations. Who knows?
Anyway, today I am going to describe some of my core beliefs and how an event in the world has affected me.
I get upset when people speak about “tolerance” but they are hateful towards those who disagree with them. I believe that true tolerance and true freedom means that we allow a voice to people who disagree with us. This doesn’t mean that every belief or opinion is equal because they aren’t. There are true beliefs and false ones (for example, 2 + 2 = 57 will never be true no matter how sincerely a person believes it. ) and there is a moral right and wrong, good and evil. However, I believe that people ought to be respected even when we disagree with them, and that ideas ought to be respectfully challenged and debated. If something is true, it can stand honest scrutiny, challenge, and debate. As Patrick Henry declared, “I might not agree with a word you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.” Here is a wonderful article that describes what I believe about this topic: The Intolerance of Tolerance.
I believe that a person ought to pursue truth rather than defend a comfortable error/lie. I would “rather be hurt by truth than be comforted by a lie.” My faith has changed because I have been willing to pursue truth and let go of error as much as I can, rather than hold on to a comfortable belief that I was taught.
I believe that if an action is wrong if one person or group does it, then it’s also wrong when another person or group does it. Too often people criticize the “opposition” if they do something that they consider wrong, but they are silent if their own people do it. If it’s wrong if Conservatives do a behavior then it’s also wrong if Liberals do it and vice versa. If it’s wrong and discriminatory for a White person to insult or mistreat a person because he is Black then it’s just as wrong for a Black person to insult or mistreat a person because he is White. BOTH is discrimination and BOTH are wrong. We ought to be angry about all injustice, whether our own people are the ones suffering the injustice or committing it.
I believe that beliefs, opinions, actions, and character are more important than ethnicity and gender. To like, hire, or vote for someone only because of his/her color or gender is just as discriminatory and offensive as to hate, not hire, or not vote for him/her because of color or gender. I, for example, would want to be liked because I am worth liking, not just because of my race or gender. I’d be insulted if someone hired or voted for me only because of my race or gender. I’d want them to hire/vote for me because they support my beliefs and opinions, and believe that I am the most skilled and the best qualified for the position–and I’d work hard to be the most skilled and qualified. And while there are certainly people who are racists, bigots, and haters in this world, I think people accuse others of these terms much too often. Just because a person disagrees with you does not mean he or she is a racist, bigot, or hater. It’s possible he disagrees only with your opinions and beliefs.
By the way, I have a lot of races, colors, and cultures in my family. I have aunts, sisters- and brothers-in-law, and nieces and nephews who are Japanese, South Korean, Samoan, Puerto Rican, American Indian, and Black. And probably others. I also have friends from around the world. Their ethnic and cultural differences aren’t as important to me as their character. At the same time, I love the differences–I love learning about the similarities and differences in our cultures, society, customs, language, foods, talents, and so on. I love to learn about different places and peoples. How boring if we were all the same. Variety is truly the spice of life.
I will not hide that I love the Jewish people, and I love Israel, and I believe that the Jews are wonderful people, that the G-d of the Bible has given them their land and is bringing them back to it, and they have the right to defend it when they are attacked. I understand that others might believe differently. Obviously, I do not think you are correct, but even while I disagree with you, and would challenge and debate you, I respect that you have a right to your opinion.
And now I am getting to the news that has saddened me: A few weeks ago, three Israeli teens were kidnapped by terrorists. They were not soldiers, they were just nice teenagers on their way home from school. They were kidnapped only because they were Jewish. While the Israelis searched for them, the Palestinians/Muslims celebrated the kidnapping. The mother of one of the suspected kidnappers said that if her son was really responsible, she would be proud of him. The bodies of the kids were found yesterday. They had been murdered shortly after they were kidnapped. These are photos of the boys. They were my JJ’s age, and I can imagine a parent’s terror of having a beloved son’s life threatened.
I cannot comprehend evil. I can understand that there are twisted and evil people–like serial killers or terrorists–who delight in inflicting pain and suffering on others. However, I cannot comprehend that any person or people would support or celebrate it. If my beloved family member or friend, or someone in my country or religion wrongfully hurt another, I would not be proud of them, I would be sickened by their actions, and I would strongly condemn it. If the children of my worst enemy was kidnapped or murdered, I would grieve not rejoice. I think evil of all sort, no matter who does it or who it is done to, ought to be condemned in the strongest way. It’s not EVER right to do wrong. Evil should make us all grieve and weep.
I weep for those three boys, and for the grief of their families and country. I am angry at those who did it, celebrated it, and/or supported it.
The Summer of No
One morning last week EJ went for a walk with Danny and me. He doesn’t walk with me often, but I always enjoy it when he does. Anyway, at one point EJ said to me, “There is a bug on you.” I didn’t panic because he said that as he was calmly removing the insect. He showed me the insect after he removed it. If I had seen it on me, I would have done the panicky “Get It OFF!!!!” dance because it was HUGE–almost 2 inches long. However, since it was not on me when I saw it, I could be interested in it. EJ held it while I looked at it. I do not know what kind of insect it was. It was rather sparkly and almost pretty. EJ took pictures of it on him with his phone. Does anyone know what it is?
EJ had to work yesterday but we had a quiet morning until he had to leave. Today he has a day off; he is not even on call. We had a storm yesterday and are expecting more storms today and tomorrow. Some could get severe.
Tomorrow morning we will take my laptop to the shop. I’m hoping that it will be a minor problem rather than a major one. I have a year and a half of photos on my computer that I haven’t not backed up and I’m afraid I will lose them if the computer is terminally ill. Also, I will be lost without my computer if it dies. EJ is nicely sharing his laptop with me, but it’s not the same as having my own.
I do not know how many people understand that even though it might seem as if the cancer battle is finished and our lives are “normalizing,” we really are merely in a different part of the battle. I think I did not really understand before JJ got cancer. It’s easy to think that when the cancer treatments are finished and the oncology checks reveal that all tests are good, that every is back to normal. But often I am reminded that life is not normal. Cancer is such a life-changing thing that I think life never goes back to what it was before. A new normal is eventually forged but that takes time.
JJ told me Friday night that the visit to the Cancer Center that morning had been very difficult for him. It was stressful for him to see the patients in the waiting room filling out the blue form (on which they rate how they are feeling before each chemo treatment), and it was difficult for him to walk by the Infusion Rooms and see bald cancer patients dozing in the chairs as they received the Chemo drugs. I can imagine that it was sort of like revisiting a nightmare, or being sucked into The Twilight Zone. JJ has also been suffering from terrible nightmares, which is probably another reason why his sleep patterns are all messed up. In addition, he is struggling with a feeling that he “should” be normal by now. and that he’s just a nonproductive, nonfunctional member of society. He wants to contribute, he wants to get back to “living” but he knows he is not ready for it. He says he almost feels as if he has Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome.
I told JJ that his Dad and I understand that he needs time to process all this, and he doesn’t need to feel like he needs to rush. I told him that he won’t always feel like he does right now, and that there will come a time when he will KNOW that he is ready to take on life again. And then he will do it.
EJ told me that a friend at work once was very wore out so he decided to have a “Summer of No”–a summer in which he told people “No, I will not go to that event or do that activity, but I will totally unplug and rest.” That is the type of summer I am trying to create for JJ and for me and for EJ because it is the type of summer I think we very much need. JJ needs to have time to regain his physical and emotional strength, and he needs to have time to process all that happened. Of course, EJ still has to work, and he is working many weekends, so when he has a day off, he needs to rest, not only from work but from the difficult winter. After a winter of rushing to appointments, I find it exhausting to even think about running to events and activities, no matter how pleasant they might be. The best therapy for me is puttering around in my garden and watching the birds and taking Danny for his walks and spending time with my guys.
So we are taking it slow.
During our Summer of No.
UPDATE:
A friend suggested that the insect pictured above is a click beetle. I googled it and think she is correct. Mystery solved!
A Good Report
This morning we had to wake up early for JJ’s appointment with his oncologist. I was so afraid of oversleeping that I didn’t really sleep much at all. JJ didn’t sleep much either. EJ slept well, but he didn’t sleep much the night before so we were all three quite tired.
In the first stages of JJ’s cancer battle, each appointment with a doctor gave us the worst possible news, the worst fears come true. At first we told ourselves that the lump was “probably nothing, but we should get it checked out,” When it turned out to be a mass, we said, “Well, it’s probably not cancerous.” When it turned out to be cancerous, we thought his first surgery would take care of it, and then we found out the cancer had spread and he needed Chemo. Maybe that’s why every appointment with the oncologist has a tiny bit of anxiety mixed in. Although we always have strong hope that we will get a good report, we know that sometimes the news can be bad. We’ve talked to people who have had their cancer return and many young men have died of testicular cancer. I wonder if we will ever get past the slight dread of doctor appointments?
Thankfully, the oncologist gave us a very good report. JJ’s CT scan was clear and his cancer markers were zero. Everything is very good. Whew. We felt a surge of relief. The next oncologist appointment will be in three months. As we drove away from the Cancer Center, I told JJ that he is no longer a young man with cancer. Instead, he is a SURVIVOR. Yay!
Remember me telling you that my friends makes and sells beautiful soaps through her website called “A Touch of Eden”? A few months ago, she said that she has several friends who have had various types of cancer and she wanted to honor their battles by making a unique soap for each of them and naming it in their honor. She sends each of them one of the bars of soap as a gift. Well, I bought all the 13 remaining soaps she had made in honor of JJ. All of them.
After we left the meeting with the oncologist, we turned down the hallway where the Chemo rooms are so we could give each of the oncologist staff who had so lovingly cared for our son a gift of his special soap. I had also made a card of thanks for them with the story of the soap my friend had made to honor her friends who had battled cancer. Of course, we also verbally told them the story behind the soap as we handed them out. They all were touched by the gift.
Aside from the soaps for the oncology staff, we had four others that we could give away. I am sending those to friends who gave us loving comfort while we were fighting JJ’s cancer. If I could have, I would have sent this unique soap to many, many people because there were so many who gave us love and support during this difficult time. However, we could not send soap to everyone who was special to us, so we had to choose only four. Because the Post Office supervisor had declared that the perfect-sized boxes were unsellable, I sent the soaps yesterday in the almost-perfect-sized boxes. So not only is there a story behind the soap, there is also a story behind the boxes. Everything is a story.
When we got home from our trip the Cancer Center, JJ went immediately upstairs to sleep. I lay on the couch to nap but I couldn’t sleep so I went outside to see if I could get the lawn mower started. It’s always possible that it could have fixed itself, you know. But no such luck. S0 I came inside and asked EJ if he could fix the mower. We can’t let the grass get too long because, besides the fact that I love a neatly mown lawn, if the grass gets more than six inches tall, the Village will charge us a fee. I thought the problem would be easily fixable, but it turned out not to be. EJ worked on it for about an hour, trying this and that to fix it, and he could get it started but he couldn’t keep it running. He said it’s not my fault that the mower isn’t working, but I have such a difficult working relationship with mowers that I believe they all hate me.
In addition to the lawn mower, this morning I couldn’t get my computer to run. Like the mower, it would turn on for a few seconds and then shut itself off. I suspect the machines are beginning to stage an uprising like in science fiction movies.
On the way home this morning, we all said that we should have taken my laptop to the repair shop, which is very near the Cancer Center. We had all briefly thought it this morning before we left home, but none of us had actually acted upon our thoughts. So probably on Monday EJ and I will take it to the shop, and hopefully it will be something minor instead of major. Meanwhile, I am using EJ’s computer when he is at work. I am grateful for his generosity, but I miss my computer.
To end on a good note, today EJ and I watched one of the baby sparrows take her first flight out of the nest. I didn’t get a picture or video of the actual flight, but I did get videos of her preparing to leave. Here it is:
The Doctor’s Ringtone
Yesterday afternoon, after I had taken Danny for his walk, I went out to see if there were any more ripe strawberries. There weren’t, but I noticed that some of the raspberries were ripening. So I took a bowl and went out to pick them. I got only a handful, but it won’t be long before I get more.
Even though I didn’t get any additional strawberries, I thought I probably had enough from previous days to make a strawberry-rhubarb pie. I picked some rhubarb and then spent the afternoon making pies. I had enough to make three pies–one 9 inch pie and two smaller ones–although the last one was a bit skimpy. They were delicious.
Earlier yesterday I walked to the post office to 1. check the status of the unsellable boxes and 2. buy boxes of one size or another. The Postmaster found out from his superior that if the boxes won’t scan then he can’t sell them. In fact, he needed to send the perfect-sized unsellable boxes back to the bigger post office in Detroit. Well, at least I know. So, since the perfect-sized boxes weren’t sellable, I bought three adequate-sized boxes and some bubble wrap to cushion the items I am sending. Then I came home and prepared the boxes for shipping. Today I mailed the packages. Finally! They are on their way!
This morning EJ and I went grocery shopping. We have always gone grocery shopping together, since we first got married. EJ remembers items that I forget, and I remember items that he doesn’t thing to get, and if we are pressed for time we can split up, so we are a good team. Also, it’s more fun to shop with him.
After we got addicted to Doctor Who, I changed some of my phone’s ringtones to Doctor Who theme songs. I hear the Tardis whenever JJ calls me. Any time any doctors call me, Martha Jones’ Theme from Doctor Who plays. Martha was a doctor, you see. so it just seemed appropriate that a ringtone from a doctor would be the theme music of a doctor who was friends with the Doctor on Doctor Who. This morning EJ and I were in the kitchen eating breakfast before we left to go grocery shopping when EJ shouted, “It’s the DOCTOR!” and he ran into the living room to get my cell phone. (Doctor Who fans will totally understand the absolute delight in being able to shout “It’s the DOCTOR!” and then take off running.) I shouted, “Answer it!” but EJ pushed the wrong button and the call went to voicemail instead. No worries. The oncologist’s nurse left a message asking if we could switch JJ’s appointment tomorrow from 11:40 a.m. to 8:40 a.m. because the oncologist. I called back and said that was fine, although it will require us getting up very early tomorrow. I’d rather get up early than have to reschedule the appointment. Appointments make us a little anxious because there is always a fear that the news will be bad, although we don’t expect it will. However, I hear often now of people’s cancer returning….
After we got the groceries home, and put away, and lunch made and eaten, and EJ had left for work, I took Danny for his walk. When I got back, I started making Challah Bread since I will be too busy to make it tomorrow.
I was tired by the time I got the Challah bread dough made and set to rising, and had washed dishes, but I decided that I would mow the lawn since the day was nice and it will be likely that we will all be really tired after our early morning appointment with the doctor tomorrow. I got the little area near the front porch mowed, but when I started to mow the area near the road, the mower died. I got it started again, but it ran slowly before it died. Sigh. I suspect that when I mowed under the tree and the hostas and other plants, the idle setting got pushed to too slow. If so, it will be an easy fix for EJ. However, I am not mechanical so that might not be the problem. It could just as likely be that I have a strange force in me that kills every mower that I come in contact with–like I am to mowers what kryptonite is to Superman. Or it could be that every mower on the planet hates me because they know I kill mowers so they all refuse to work for me. Maybe one day the mowers from all over town will come to my house to get revenge. Maybe computers, printers, and other electrical and electronic devices will join in. And then we will have a feud that becomes a war. It could get messy.
Stranger things have happened.
Rainy Days
Today was a rainy day. Shortly after EJ and I woke up this morning, we had a downpour of rain. Of course, I went out to the front porch and took a video. I like rain. Heavy rain brings back memories of when I was growing up. Heavy rain would cause flooding at the corner of our street and the nearby intersection. We’d shout “Flood on Henry Street!” and as soon as we could, my family, many times including my Dad and Mom, would go wading in it. Probably not the most sanitary thing to do, but at the time it was fun and we suffered no ill-effects from it. If it rained really hard, the water would flood further down the streets. One time it rained so hard that the streets were flooded for quite a ways. We had a small two-person sailboat and my Mom and a neighbor lady took it out, without the sail, and went floating down the street. A police car came driving by and the policeman leaned out his window and asked, “How’s the fishing?”
The streets don’t flood like that where EJ and I live, but I still enjoy a good heavy rain. Here is my video from this morning.
We had to drive to the city this morning to take JJ for a blood draw in preparation for the appointment with his oncologist on Friday. Friday’s appointment is just a followup to make sure all is going well. We still find ourselves relieved when the appointment ends and we hear the “all is good.” There is always some apprehension that it would be good news. Just today at Facebook the Testicular Cancer Awareness Foundation shared a picture of a young man who just finished his treatment in January but has heard that his cancer has returned. Scary. But….one day at a time. JJ dreads getting “poked” for blood draws but he handles it well, with a sense of humor. We encountered some heavy rain on the way to the lab, which was fun. It wasn’t raining that hard on the way home. Two or three dozen classic cars passed us–going to an old car show somewhere?–and we really enjoyed seeing them.
After EJ left for work, I mixed up some bread dough and set it aside to rise. JJ hadn’t slept well last night so he went upstairs to nap for a few hours. I napped for a little while also, but then a cat woke me so I got up and punched down the dough, put it in the bread pans to rise again, and after checking radar to make sure I wouldn’t get stormed on, I took Danny for his walk. It’s was several hours late, but he’s just happy he gets to go at all.
After yesterday’s post about Borg Extroverts, I want to clarify that I do not dislike Extroverts. I think that they have a lot of good qualities. But so do Introverts. I enjoy that people are different. I think the world needs people who are Extroverts and people who are Introverts, people who are dreamers and people who are planners, people who are observers and thinkers and people who are doers, people who can speak out and people who can listen with understanding. I just don’t like it when Extroverts–some, not all–do not appreciate that Introverts are not like them, and who criticize our differences as if they are flaws. It’s the ones who want me to be like them with no appreciation for my individuality that I think of as Borgs.
Borgs and Empaths
I knew from the forecast and Accuweather radar that it was going to rain today, so I walked to the post office, took out the trash, and weeded my herb garden early(ish) this morning. I had only weeded a bit of the herb garden before it began to rain, but at least I got some of it done. I saw that my borage is flowering. I went out later in the afternoon–in between rain storms–to take pictures of it. I like growing Borage because its flowers are edible. They taste sort of like cucumbers. Garden websites always suggest freezing the flowers in ice cubes for decorative cubes or putting them in salads. I picked some of the flowers today and JJ and I simply ate them. It’s kind of fun eating flowers.
EJ and I found four hollow logs that we will use as toad houses. We have set out three of them so far. I can’t take pictures, though, because a storm is moving in.
We are enjoying watching the sparrows in the blue birdhouse raise another nest of babies. The babies are now big enough that we can catch glimpses of them. Here is a video I took today of Mama and Papa Sparrow feeding their young. They struggled for bit, both trying to feed the babies. If you look closely, you can see a brief glimpse of a baby in the birdhouse. I love watching the birds.
We were often told that when people have Chemo, their hair can grow back with a different color or texture. We were very interested to see what JJ’s hair would look like when it grew back. At first, it didn’t look like there was any real change. However, his hair now looks as if it will be a bit darker than before It is still very, very soft. Also, it is much more curly. His hair was very straight before. JJ says that he doesn’t like having curly hair. He thinks it’s weird. I made him let me take a picture of his beautiful curly hair.
Yesterday morning EJ and I discussed an article about Introverts and Empaths as we ate breakfast. Extroverts have historically misunderstood, criticized, and tried to fix the “flaws” of Introverts, and I have sometimes been frustrated by this. For years I felt something was wrong with me because Extroverts said there was. Most Introverts feel the same. Although not every Extrovert is like this, when they try to fix me I feel as if they are like the Borg, trying to erase my individuality and assimilate me. For those who are unfamiliar with them, the Borg are described on Star Trek sites as “a pseudo-race, dwelling in the Star Trek universe. They force other species into their collective and connect them to “the hive mind”; the act is called assimilation and entails violence, abductions, and injections of microscopic machines called nanoprobes. The Borg only want to “raise the quality of life” of the species they “assimilate.” The Borg manifest as cybernetically enhanced humanoid drones of multiple species, organized as an interconnected collective, the decisions of which are made by a hive mind, linked by subspace radio. Their collective consciousness is experienced by the Borg as “thousands” of voices — they are collectively aware, but not aware of themselves as separate individuals. Consequently, they never speak in singular pronouns.”
I feel as if, like Borg, Extroverts love to do things in a collective group and they don’t understand or appreciate those who don’t. They want to “raise the quality of life” of Introverts by forcing us to become one of them. There is no room for individuality, for being different. They try to drag us to parties to show us what “fun” looks like, they want us to be outspoken like they are, they tell us that we “think too much.” They can’t understand that we do not like being a part of a group. We prefer to be distinctive individuals. We prefer and are energized by quiet, we are loneliest in a crowd, we enjoy fun in a different way, we listen more than we speak, and we tend to speak only when we have something important to say.
And then there are Empaths.
EJ and I are introverts and empaths. I am much more introverted than EJ, and probably more of an empath although he is very empathetic. I say that I am more empathetic because I actually get faint when encountering suffering. In my 20s I went to a Behavioral Specialist to learn how to not faint around suffering (such as hospitals), and I did very well for years, but I struggled with faintness again when my son underwent treatment and surgery for Cancer.
The article EJ and I discussed, called “30 Traits of an Empath” described us very accurately. Empaths very deeply feel the suffering of others. Because of this, we are very compassionate, gentle, and understanding people. We are good listeners so people usually tell us their problems. Among other traits, we dislike lies and pursue truth. We struggle with those who are critical, negative, self-centered, narcissistic, who can see no opinions other than their own. We need solitude. We are very creative and imaginative. Often we express ourselves artistically; many of us become writers. We love nature and animals. We love to pursue knowledge and to think. We love freedom and hate control. We hate to be assimilated. Both EJ and I felt that we love old things because we love their connection to history and stories, and we rarely are bored by routine tasks because “boring” tasks allow our minds to wander.
I love articles about Introverts and Empaths because they help me know myself better, and because it reinforces that we are NOT flawed. We are DIFFERENT. Here are some more good articles about the characteristics of Introverts/Empaths. I think both Introverts and Extroverts would find them helpful.
6 Things Introverted Women Do Right
I Feel People and They Feel Me: The Blessing And Curse of Feeling Deeply
I Gave My Love A Cherry
Yesterday morning I went outside to fill the birdfeeders and found a ripe cherry. We have six little cherry trees and I found only ONE ripe cherry. I put it on EJ’s plate when I served him his breakfast. “Where is yours?” he asked. I told him that I had found only ONE ripe cherry. I think the birds ate all the other ripe cherries. EJ was going to cut the cherry in half to share with me, but I urge him to eat it. He loves cherries. EJ said we will probably have to get something to protect the cherries so the birds don’t eat them all. It’s probably too late for this year, but we can maybe get something for nest year.
That is a danger in trying to make a yard attractive to birds. They don’t just eat the food in the feeders, they also eat the cherries and berries.
After the baby sparrows in the blue birdhouse left the nest, the sparrows had another family. I have been watching Papa and Mama Sparrow bringing seeds to their new family for several days now. Today I got a glimpse of the babies. I love seeing them. I have been watching but have not seen any babies at the other sparrow birdhouse or the one with the wren nest.
This weekend is/was our village’s annual festival. I actually thought last year was the final festival, but organizers changed its name and, I think, maybe, reinvented it a little so maybe this is the first annual festival of the reinvented festival. When JJ was little I used to take him to the activities in the town. Our favorite activity was the Book Sale at the library (of course!). JJ also enjoyed making a tie dye T-shirt each year. And there were other activities such as a parade, a frog-jumping contest, belt sander races, and other such things.
Now, however–and especially this year–I am not all that interested in the festival. EJ had to work today so we enjoy a quiet morning studying and talking together. The festival offered horse-drawn buggy rides and we were on its route, so every few minutes a horse and buggy drove past our house. The first time it drove by our house, Timmy and Little Bear were sitting in the kitchen window, and they starred intently at the strange beast clopping by. A little later I let Danny outside and he quivered with excitement when he saw the horse and ran along inside the fence barking. He almost never barks so I know he was excited. After a bit, the animals all got used to the horse going by and didn’t pay much attention to it.
After EJ left for work, I took Danny for his walk, along his regular route. I had to keep him on a shorter leash because there were more people around. We walked by the church yard, which was filled with pony rides, a bouncy house, and a yard sale. I’m sure there was a lot of other things do downtown as well, but we didn’t go there.
JJ didn’t wake up until late afternoon, so I had a quiet, peaceful afternoon.
Boogerized
Today was mostly almost good.
I always make Challah bread on Fridays for Shabbat. I always begin making it as soon as I get up in the morning, even before I make coffee or check Facebook, because I have to prepare the dough, let it rise for an hour, punch it down and let it rise for another hour, braid it and let it rise again, and then bake it. If I get too late of a start, I don’t have time to make it. Shabbat doesn’t really start until sundown, but we always at our Shabbat meal at noon so EJ can enjoy it with us.
A couple of days ago, I got an email from the gift catalog company saying they had shipped my camera binoculars. They included tracking numbers. I love tracking numbers because I can follow an item as it gets closer and closer to my home. Yesterday I saw that the binoculars would be at the post office today so this morning I walked to the post office to pick them up. Our village is so small that everyone in the village limits has post office boxes. When we first moved here years ago, I thought “What??? No home delivery? That’s just crazy!!!” but I quickly grew to enjoy the daily walk to the post office. And I like the postal workers. They are very sweet. Anyway, there was no yellow card in my PO Box indicating that I had a package. I told the Postmaster that I had a package that was supposed to be here today and could he tell me when it would be ready. He said that normally it would have been ready “an hour ago” but the regular carrier was sick and the substitute was doing two routes so it would probably be there in the afternoon. Bummer.
On the way to and from the post office, I saw a garage sale sign. Our neighbors were having a sale. We love garage sales, so when I got home, I told EJ about it and we walked to the sale. As soon as we got there, I saw a little bird fly into the back corner of their garage. He looked like he was just a fledgling Robin and was confused so I went to help him. He didn’t move when I approached and it looked like I was going to have to pick him up and carry him out, but then he clumsily flew away. I am glad I rescued him because my neighbor said that just a few days ago she discovered a dead bird in the garage near the window. The bird must have accidentally got shut in. Poor thing. Wherever I go, I seem to rescue birds. I am the Bird Rescuer. Also “the Cat Lady.”
We visited with our neighbor for a bit. Her teenage daughter came outside eating a piece of banana cake, so she (the Mom) asked us if we wanted a piece. At her urging we said ok so the daughter got us a piece. It was delicious. And then the daughter went and got us a piece to take home to JJ. He thought it was delicious too. We had visited with our neighbor longer than we should have, so I had to scramble to get our Shabbat meal finished before EJ had to leave.
I have been watching a live stream of an eagle nest in Decorah, Iowa, for weeks. I have enjoyed watching the three baby eagles grow bigger and bigger. Two of them left the nest a couple days ago, and the third one looked as if he might take off today so I brought my laptop to the kitchen to watch as we ate. Every time the young eagle went to the edge of the nest, we exclaimed, “You can do it! Fly!” but he didn’t. After EJ left for work, I took Danny for a walk, and when I got back I checked the live stream but the eagle was still at the edge of his nest looking around. So I decided to walk to the post office and when I got back, the nest was empty. Bummer. I missed the first flight.
However, my package was at the post office. Yay! I got it home, put in the AAA batteries that I had bought a couple weeks ago, but I couldn’t get the camera to work. When I plugged the USB cord in, the display turned on. It think the batteries aren’t working. I dug up some rechargeable batteries from a drawer and am charging them now. I also think I need a SD card before the camera will work. Bummer. I ordered one from Amazon. I will have to be patient.
I have some items I need to ship, so a week ago I asked the postal clerk, who is a real sweetie, if she had small boxes I could buy. She found boxes that were absolutely the right size that I needed, but she couldn’t get the cash register scanner thingy to ring it up. She said she’d have to ask the Postmaster about it. He couldn’t get it to work either. His computer said that he had those boxes in stock, but the scanner said there were “unavailable.” The Postmaster finally figured out that those sized boxes are no longer for being offered for sale. They are like outdated stock. However, they are just lying around so why not sell them to me? So the Postmaster is trying to contact a higher up at another post office to see how he can sell them to me. Every day either the Postmaster or the clerk tell me the progress of the boxes. I almost bought a bigger size box today, but the Postmaster urged me, “Since these are the perfect sized boxes, wait for another day or two until the supervisor contacts me to see how I can sell them to you.” I’m on no deadline and I have to wait to ship them until after EJ’s next payday anyway, so I said I would wait. I think our postal workers are awesome…but leave it to me to choose unsellable boxes.
When I got home, I found Luke sleeping in the basket on top of a loaf of unwrapped Challah bread–the bread it takes me all morning to make. Usually I put the Challah bread away immediately, but today I wrapped up the loaf we ate from, but I didn’t take the time to wrap up the other one because EJ had to leave for work, and then I was eager to get my camera binoculars at the post office….I suppose if I were a cat, I’d also want to sleep in a basket on top of soft, still-warm-from-the-oven Challah bread, but I was SO not happy with Luke. He totally crushed the bread and, besides, he was LAYING on it and he doesn’t wash his paws after using the kitty litter. So the birds got a special treat of a whole loaf of fresh warm Challah bread for Shabbat. I crumbled it up and put it outside for them. I have not been particularly happy with Luke lately. Yesterday morning he was sitting on the back of the couch behind me and he sneezed and I felt a booger hit my head. YUCK! I had just washed and brushed and styled my hair, but I went out and immediately washed it again because there was no way I was going through the day with cat boogerized hair.
I wasn’t going to mow the lawn today because we had had more rain overnight, but the forecast said the weather was clearing, Accuweather radar showed the rain had moved off to the east, and it hadn’t rained for several hours so I thought I’d risk it. I do like to mow the lawn before Shabbat and this week the Village is having a town festival (I think) and they like the town to look nice, so I went out and mowed the lawn. As I mowed, the sky got darker and darker, but I wasn’t worried because it wasn’t supposed to rain anymore today. I was mowing the back yard, which I always save until last, when it began to sprinkle and then rain lightly. I continued until I finished and only got somewhat wet. I guess forecasts can be wrong. It has been lightly raining ever since.
After mowing the lawn, I made potato salad because EJ asked to have some tomorrow. I’m also doing laundry. It’s been a rather busy day.
Toadscaping
Once I got up this morning and had shared a pot of coffee with EJ, I spent the morning making homemade bread and homemade pizza. Last night JJ had said he was hungry for both and because his appetite has been wonky since his cancer treatment, I try to make him anything he says he is hungry for in order to entice him to eat. We haven’t yet sliced into the bread, but JJ said the pizza was yummy. Yay!
While the bread was rising, I went outside to put up the new wren birdhouse that EJ bought me. At first I was going to put it in the peony garden so we could see it from the east living room window, but then I decided that it was too close to the front porch where the outside cats spend most of their time. I was afraid that when baby birds took their first flight, they’d be easy prey for Annie. Then I thought I’d set the birdhouse near the birdfeeders, but was afraid that I’d disturb the birds whenever I went out to fill the feeders. So I finally decided to put it out in the flower garden next to the herb garden. Although I won’t be able to watch its inhabitants when I’m sitting in the living room, I will be able to clearly see it when sitting at the kitchen table.
After EJ left for work, I took Danny for his daily walk. I thought the temperatures had felt cooler this morning, but by the time I finished our walk I was melting again. When we got home, I put on a jacket and my bug net hat as protection against vile mosquitoes and went out to weed the strawberry patch and pick ripe strawberries. My strawberry patch is still pretty small so I only get a couple handfuls at a time. I freeze them so they don’t rot before I can accumulate enough to make something yummy. My mosquito protection worked, but by the time I was finished with the strawberry patch, I was overheated and melting even more. I sat in front of a fan for a while to cool off.
I spent several hours this afternoon grinding cinnamon sticks into powder with my electric coffee grinder. I use the electric grinder for spices such as cinnamon, ginger, and cloves, which I buy at the farm market-ish store. When I have coffee beans, I grind them with an old fashioned coffee grinder. I ground up all the cinnamon sticks and ended up with a large jar of cinnamon powder that should last me a very long time. That is good because I LOVE cinnamon. While I sat at the kitchen table grinding the cinnamon sticks, I enjoyed watching the wrens building their nest in the birdhouse condo. So far the sparrows haven’t kicked them out.
After EJ read my blog post last night, he said we could easily make toad houses with the two or three hollow logs that were in the load of firewood a friend gave us a few months ago. Ever since he first saw them, EJ has been saying that we ought to be able to use them–maybe as a planter or something. He wasn’t sure exactly. But last night he said they’d make dandy toad houses. We could partially bury them as the article suggested. I thought his idea was spendiferous. I will have to consider where to place them. Obviously I will have to put them where the slugs are so I can attract the toads there for a yummy meal.
I have been focusing on birdscaping my yard–making my yard attractive to birds. Now, apparently, I have branched out into toadscaping as well.
By the way, yesterday I wrote about panicking when JJ told me there was a bug on me. I want to tell you that even though I hated bugs on me, I didn’t want JJ to be afraid of them too so when he was little, I took him on “bug hunts.” We’d sit and watch a colony of swarming ants, or overturn rocks to see what was underneath. We admired the leftover skins of cicadas or the beautifully woven spider webs. One time we watched a praying mantis lay eggs on our house. We researched unfamiliar bugs so we could learn about them. Neighbor kids also joined us on our bug hunts. None of the kids knew that I was scared of bugs until one day one of them told me that there was a bug on me. I did the “Get it off!” dance and then looked up to see a row of children looking at me with their mouths opened in shock. So I confessed to them that I thought bugs were interesting until they were on me. LOL.
Slugged!
The last couple days have been hot and humid–today was worse than yesterday. Storms have been predicted for almost every day this week so I didn’t water the gardens yesterday even though the plants looked thirsty because I didn’t want to water unnecessarily. However, although the clouds looked dark at times, the storms all moved north of us any we didn’t get any rain.
Today we saw a line of severe storms moving toward us on Accuweather radar so EJ and I drove to the post office for our mail in the morning rather than wait for me to walk to the post office later. The library next to the post office had their “Book Sale” sign out so, of course, we stopped in at the library. When it comes to book sales, resistance is futile. We bought at least a dozen books.
When we got home, I took Danny for a walk. Usually I don’t take him until after EJ leaves for work, but I knew the storms would make an afternoon walk unlikely. It was so hot that I could feel myself melting. I sometimes think I am part snowman.
When the storms came, they weren’t that bad. We had a downpour that didn’t last long but not any real thunder. For the rest of the afternoon, we had light rain. I was glad for the rain to water my garden. It is still rather humid outside, but the temperature dropped to 68 degrees, which makes it bearable.
The mosquitoes had not been much of a problem for the last few days, but the rain caused them to flourish again. When I went outside to fill the birdfeeders, I was attacked. Sigh. I hadn’t worn protection since the mosquitoes had mostly left me alone, so they really got me good. I hate mosquitoes.
I also spotted several slugs in my garden. They are quite big and rather interesting looking. I didn’t know much about slugs because I have never seen them before this year so when I came back inside I googled them. I learned that they are a garden villain. Boo! Hiss! I read on the Garden Know How website that “Non-poisonous snakes and toads are the best animals to attract to your garden for slug control. These animals exclusively eat small pests and will not damage your plants.” This is why I am glad for the snakes in my garden. They are my friends. They eat bad things like slugs. I am hoping the snakes–and the toads–find the slugs and eat them all.
The Garden Know How site went on to suggest “Build small woodpiles and put out toad houses to create a home where these animals will feel welcome.” We have plenty wood piles in our yard because we have a woodstove, but I had never heard about toad houses. I looked them up. They, of course, attract and provide shelter for toads. Toads are good for a garden. They “consume 100 or more insects and slugs every day.” Yay Toads! Although cute houses can be bought at places like Amazon, they are very easy to make. We already have frogs and toads in our yard, but I might consider making toad houses. However, snakes like to eat frogs and toads, so I wonder how to prevent the snakes from trapping and eating the toads in their cute little houses. Maybe I should just let the toads find their own hiding places.
A few days ago I was washing my hands in the bathroom after rescuing the sparrow from Annie’s jaws when JJ said to me, “You have a bug on your back!” He disputes this vehemently, but I am certain he then said, “Oh, my goodness….!” I had a sudden vision of a monstrous bug from a Science Fiction movie latched onto my back, inserting it’s stinger into my brain, and taking control of my mind. I panicked and yelled “Get it off! Get it off!” JJ said that I elbowed him in the stomach and almost pushed him into the bathtub. I felt very, very bad because in my panic, I completely forgot that less than three months ago, JJ had a large incision made in his stomach so a surgeon could remove a cancerous lymph node. However, in my defense I said, “How many times over the years have I told you NEVER to tell me that there is a bug on me but just quietly brush it off? How many times have I panicked when told there is a bug on me? EVERY TIME! So what did you think would happen when you told me THIS time that there is a bug on me? Duh!” JJ exclaimed, “You need to not panic, Mom! Seriously!” Like I can help it. I can admire snakes and spiders, bugs and slugs, and enjoy learning interesting facts about them, but NOT if they are on me!
My garden provides me with interesting adventures.
Mostly Good!
I woke up this morning when I smelled the coffee. EJ had gotten up before me and made a pot and the aroma wafted all the way upstairs. By the time I got downstairs–before 7 a.m.–EJ was falling asleep in his chair. He works second shift so “before 7 a.m.” is much too early for him.
I poured a cup of coffee, checked FB, poured more coffee, and started some laundry. I thought that I would dry the clothes on the clothesline for the first time this summer. Usually I always use the clothesline during the summer but this year either it was raining, or I didn’t have time, or I just felt too tired to lug baskets of wet clothes out to the back yard. But the weather was beautiful and it felt like the perfect morning to hang clothes. I ran into a snag when I stopped the washer to add another pair of jeans and then couldn’t get the newfangled computerized machine to start again. EJ got it started for me an hour or two later by unplugging it and then plugging it back in–sort of like rebooting a computer–so eventually I was able to wash the clothes and then hang them outside to dry. A couple of years ago EJ installed a retractable clothesline for me that we can pull out when we need to use it and then retract it when we don’t. It’s very handy.
Anyway, when I couldn’t get the washer started, I poured another cup of coffee, grabbed a book and my camera, and went out to sit at the patio table on the front porch so I wouldn’t interrupt EJ’s sleep. I tried to sit very still so the wildlife wouldn’t be startled. I enjoyed the wren’s beautiful song and watched it go in and out of the birdhouse near the east kitchen window, which is close to the front porch. The sparrows haven’t thrown the wren out of this house yet.
I also saw a baby squirrel eating seeds from the large tray feeder by the pine tree. It was very cute and small–maybe a third of the size of an adult squirrel. I took a picture of it and then watched it for a while. Then I heard EJ stirring so I went inside and made him a delicious pancake breakfast. I sort of lost track of what I was doing and made the pancake too big. EJ said, “No pancake is ever too big!” but when he saw it he agreed that, yes, a pancake can be too big. With a breakfast like that, he didn’t need to eat any lunch.
This afternoon I went outside and discovered Annie with a little sparrow in her mouth. I’m assuming it was a fledgling bird on its first flight. We have three outside cats. Rikki-Tikki-Tabby and Tesla are too old to be interested in birds, but Annie is still young enough to go after them. I was horrified. I rescued the little sparrow from her jaws. It was still breathing, but it had a puncture wound in its neck. It kept very still and I didn’t know if it was just very scared or was near death. I held it gently while I tried to decide what to do. I didn’t have a way to care for it and I didn’t want to put it where Annie could reach it. I tried to put it on a branch in the wild rose bush, but it was too scared/weak to grab the bush. Finally I decided to put it in the tray feeder—the one the baby squirrel had been eating from earlier this morning. Annie couldn’t reach it there and it would not be able to fall out. I went out and checked the tray a little bit later and it was empty so I think the bird was not seriously wounded and just needed time to recover. Yay! I did not get a picture of the little bird. I was too busy rescuing it.
In between bringing the dried clothes inside and rescuing the baby bird, I sat down at my laptop. I turned it on and it stayed on for about two seconds and then shut down. I turned it on again–several times–and each time it flickered on and then shut itself off. Oh, no! A major catastrophe! I was afraid something very major was wrong with the computer. I finally searched the Internet using EJ’s laptop and found a Youtube video that said that this problem could be caused by a dirty fan. It showed how to blow the dust out of the laptop using a straw. JJ blew the dust out with his can of compressed air instead. Then we turned on the computer and “Voila!” it worked!
This is the third “problem” today that was resolved: First the washer, then the baby bird, and now my computer. Yay!
JJ suggested that I defrag my laptop, so while it was defragging, I watched live-streaming coverage of tornado chasers on EJ’s computer. There are very bad storms in the plains today. I watched two tornadoes as they caused massive destruction in Pilgner, Nebraska. Almost every building in town was destroyed. Later I watched other tornadoes form. I like storms–I think they have a very powerful and interesting beauty–but I don’t like when they are destructive. It seemed particularly sad to see the tornadoes in real time. That was one “problem” today that was not resolved happily.
My Father’s Day Gifts
Danny sheds a lot, so many times I throw his hair outside so the birds can use it for their nests. But late last week I read–probably at FB and maybe on the Birds & Bloom page–that a person can provide nesting material for birds by putting pet hair and dryer lint in a suet feeder. I don’t have an extra suet feeder (yet) but EJ suggested I use the wire basket that held our onions. I thought that was a good idea so I dumped out the onions and hung the basket on a sturdy branch of the lilac bush. I keep adding Danny hair and dryer lint to it. The basket is not where I can see it so I don’t know if the birds are using it, but it’s there if they want it.
Yesterday was Shabbat so we rested and studied all morning. Before EJ woke up, I went out on the front porch and I read a book while Danny sat at my feet and the outside cats sat on my lap or near me and purred. I watched and listened to all the birds swooping and chirpy in my yard. It was very pleasant. EJ had to work, so after he left, I continued to rest and study.
Yesterday I discovered a live-streaming storm chaser website. The site shows a map with various storm chasers on it. A person–like me–can click on one of many storm chasers and watch a live stream from the cameras on his or her vehicle. I had fun watching the storms. I love storms. I really love my life now, but in another reality I might have been a storm chasing meteorologist.
This morning EJ and I had a relaxing morning. I made him a really nice breakfast. We relaxed a little bit more, and then we drove to the farm market-type store. We took our time, enjoying the beautiful day, and stopped at a couple of yard sales. We didn’t buy much, but we did enjoy petting a very wonderful, gentle Great Dane at one of the yard sales. We enjoy giving lovings to animals wherever we find them.
At the store, we tasted a sample of a cheese called Beemster Graskaas Gouda. The lady handing out the samples said the cheese is from the Netherlands and is made only one time a year from only the first milking of the cows. The cheese was absolutely delicious and so we bought a small chunk. One thing we love about this store is that in addition to the produce we are familiar with, they sell strange and unusual fruits and vegetables from all over the world. We enjoy sometimes buying items we have never had before, just to try them. Some foods we like and some we don’t, but it’s fun to try. We loved the Beemster Graskaas Gouda cheese.
The other day I realized with horror that my basil had died over the winter so we bought some basil to replace it. There were lots of different kinds–I never realized there were so many different kinds–and I had trouble deciding which to buy. Since they were very inexpensive, I bought four different kinds at this store:
Holy Basil which is very aromatic, with clove-scented leaves. Best used as a salad garnish or in herbal teas.
Cinnamon Basil, which has purple stems and flowers and a distinctive cinnamon taste and scent. Best in fruit salads, herbal teas and Mediterranean dishes. (I love anything and everything cinnamon.)
Red Rubin Basil, which is fragrant and flavorful. Its purple-bronze leaves make a unique-colored pesto and a pretty vinegar.
Thai Basil. The tag was missing from this one–either it didn’t have a tag or it fell out–so I don’t know exactly what it is or tastes like. I don’t know if it was just “Thai Basil” or a particular kind of basil from Thailand.
I suppose I should have also gotten Sweet Basil because I know how to cook with it, but in the thrill of learning about the other types, I didn’t think to get just regular basil. I expect some culinary adventures as I experiment with my unique basil plants. When we got home, I planted all the basils in pots so I can bring them in during the winter.
For Father’s Day, EJ also bought me a little wren house with a hole small enough that the sparrows can’t fit through and kick the wrens out. As soon as I get something to hang the wren house on, I will put it up…I think I will put it in the Peony Garden so we can see it from the living room window. I am trying to put all the bird houses, feeders, and baths where we can see them from the windows.
Oh, I got EJ a pepper plant for Father’s Day. And also a book. And a really good breakfast this morning. And a wonderful day together. We don’t really bother much about Father’s or Mother’s Days. Mostly we just enjoy hanging out together.
I Love To Go A Gardening 