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Growing Our Life in Northern Michigan
Thursday in Indianapolis – Part 2
After a rough start, JJ had a great day. I can’t believe how rapidly he is improving and strengthening. It’s amazing.
JJ is now unhook from everything: IV, catheter, oxygen, everything. He is now only connected to one thing: His computer.
After the doctor removed JJ’s dressing this morning, he said JJ could now eat solid foods. He said JJ’s appetite likely won’t fully return for another month or so, and JJ will probably eat a few bites of food and then not be hungry. He said this was normal and JJ should listen to his body and eat when he feels hungry and stop eating when he doesn’t.
At about 9:30 a.m., JJ went on his first walk. He wasn’t sure he could make it but the Patient Care Tech who helped him encouraged him to at least try to make it to the door and back. He made it to the door, passed an intersecting corridor, turned left at the next corridor, down a parallel hallway, a left turn and back to his room in the corner. It was an incredible first walk. I felt as proud of him as if he were a toddler taking his first steps ever. A few hours later, JJ took another longer walk. He seemed much more confident and stronger on the second walk.
The surgeon stopped by JJ’s room to tell us about the pathology report. He said that there had been teratoma cancer cells in the lymph node. They are dangerous so it’s a good thing he had the lymph node removed. They got it all and he sees JJ having a long life. Of course, doctors will keep an eye on JJ over the next few years to make sure he is ok, but the news was great.
In the early afternoon, JJ asked for his laptop. I cleared off his table so he could have the computer in front of him. He has been enjoying connecting to Internet friends. (I had been using JJ’s computer but now I am sharing EJ’s.)
About mid-afternoon EJ and I dashed back to the hotel to shower again. There is a shower in JJ’s hospital bathroom, but a problem was found in the hospital’s water so although they say it’s safe to wash our hands, we can’t drink, shower, wash our face, or brush our teeth with the hospital water until they are given the “all clear.” They don’t know when that will be so once a day we dash back to the hotel.
When we arrived back at the hospital today, we stopped at the cafeteria and bought supper. I chose the healthiest thing I could find. All these months of sitting in Chemo/hospital rooms, little exercise, and restaurant food has caused me to gain weight. Bleagh. One of my goals when we get home is to lose weight and get in shape. I don’t want to see more restaurant food for at least a year. Maybe two.
When we got back to JJ’s hospital room, he was GONE! It was kind of a surprise because I wasn’t expecting his bed to be empty. He was off on another walk with a Patient Care Tech. This walk, or so I hear, was even longer than the other two.
We had a lot of rain this morning and more is on the way. Back home, our area had some freezing rain. I’d rather have the rain.
Here are pictures from today:
Thursday Morning in Indianapolis
It seemed as if there were many interruptions in the night. I was sleeping on the couch nearby, but I was so tired that I am not sure that I was aware of everything the nurses were doing to JJ. Sometimes I woke briefly and then fell back to sleep. When the noises continued, I woke up completely…ish. I was going to surrender the couch to Eric, but he declined and went back to snoozing in his chair. He only traded places with me in the morning. He is so gallant.
What I am aware that happened in the middle of the night is that JJ had to have his blood drawn and the nurses had trouble finding a usable vein. They tried a few times. Failed attempts are painful and they felt so bad to be hurting JJ. When they still couldn’t find a vein, they gave up and said they’d have a nurse with a portable ultrasound machine come and locate a usable vein and draw his blood. She arrived about 6:30 a.m. Before she could use the ultrasound, the three doctors arrived. I think two of them might be residents or students or something. This is a teaching hospital associated with Indiana University. The primary doctor of the three (I can’t remember his name) has been the one that has visited JJ each day throughout his ordeal. He removed the dressing on JJ’s wound this morning. It caused JJ a lot of pain.
After they left, JJ asked me to ask the nurse when he could have his next dose of strong pain med. So I went out into the hallway and found the nurse and asked her. Unfortunately, JJ had just had the med an hour before so he couldn’t have any more for a few hours. The nurse said she was told she could remove his catheter at any time, but she could tell from the doctor’s face when he left JJ’s room that the removal of the dressing had been very painful so she decided to wait a little while. She said that when the doctor had come out of the room he had winced, “Wow! That was intense!” When I murmured a sympathetic “oh” she said that the doctors are used to this, but it still bothers them to cause their patients pain. I said it was really nice to have such compassionate doctors. The nurse said that she loves working with this particular doctor especially because he is so VERY compassionate. I remember that the first few doctors JJ had after being diagnosed with cancer were not all that compassionate and some acted as if my questions were rather stupid. The first doctor I liked at all was JJ’s oncologist. He was compassionate. However, the doctors at this Indianapolis hospital oooze kindness and compassion.
I told JJ about my conversation with the nurse and the doctor’s reaction to taking off the dressing, and JJ said, “Oh! Now I feel like giving the doctor a hug!” JJ is very kind and polite to all the medical staff. Even after they have done something painful to him, he thanks them for their care of him.
After the doctors left, the nurse with the ultrasound finished her task. Then a few nurses came in and told JJ he could order solid food from a menu they gave him. He actually orders the food from the hospital cafeteria as if he is ordering room service from a hotel. They said to keep in mind that it takes about an hour for the food to be delivered. I asked JJ if he wanted me to order him something, but he didn’t sleep well last night and he isn’t interested in food yet.
Indianapolis is experiencing some severe thunderstorms today. At JJ’s request, I opened the blinds so he could see the storm. We all love watching storms.
About an hour after the doctor removed the dressing from JJ’s incision, a nurse came in and removed the catheter. There was some discomfort, but it wasn’t as bad as the removal of the dressing.
A short time after that, a Patient Care Tech just came in and reminded JJ that he is supposed to walk several times today. He asked if he could do it a little later because he hadn’t slept well last night (ya think??) and he’s really tired. He’s also afraid he will faint if he tries to get up because yesterday each time he sat up in the chair, his blood pressure dropped and he almost fainted. The Patient Care Tech said she’d let him sleep a bit and return around 9:30 a.m.
JJ was dropping off to sleep when another nurse peeked in and asked him if he had eaten anything yet. They want to start giving him pain meds in tablet form rather than in the IV now, but they can’t give him the meds until he has something on his stomach. JJ still isn’t hungry–he is more interested in sleep–but he chose a blueberry muffin and I called the cafe and ordered him two, one to eat as soon as it arrives and another to eat later.
I’m very hungry, but I have to wait for EJ to wake and go get us food. He showed me where the cafeteria was yesterday before our dash to the hotel but my Superweakness of Lostness has made the corridors into a confusing maze and I fear I’d never make it back to the hotel room. Fortunately my friend had the gift shop send us snack foods right after JJ’s surgery Tuesday, so I can nibble on them to prevent starvation. When this experience is over, I think I will not want to see another restaurant or snack food for at least a year. At least I can find my way to the coffee machine down the hall.
This has been an eventful day, and it’s only 9 a.m.
Oh, here is a humorous thing: Usually in-room bathrooms are reserved for patient use only but the nurse said that since we are in a private room we could use the bathroom. I am thankful for this since the regular bathrooms are located quite a distance away. The funny thing is that whenever the toilet in his room is flushed, it is so VERY, VERY LOUD that everyone in the whole hospital can hear it. What is worse is that the flushing lasts forEVER–like a minute or two. We cringe every time we have to flush it. The nurse last night said that a while back some workmen were working on some plumbing somewhere in the hospital and it made the toilet quiet. All the nurses cheered “YES!” and “YAY!” However, as soon as the workmen finished, the toilet went back to being noisy again. I am tempted to take a video of this loud and long toilet because it is unbelievable.
Wednesday in Indianapolis
I usually try to write no more than once each day, but I have nonFacebook friends who are reading this blog to get updates on JJ so I hope you all can be patient with more frequent posts this week.
JJ’s breathing got better over the day so he was able to get the stronger medication for his spasms. JJ was also able to get rid of the oxygen tube in his nose and he was able to drink clear liquids, including juices, broth, and jello.
JJ has sat in a chair twice today and is supposed to also sit for a third time. The first time was particularly hard for him–hard to get into a sitting position and lie back down again because his abdomen is so painful. Two patient care techs and a nurse helped him move from bed to chair and back again later. They let him move as slowly as he wanted. He was light-headed, faint, and nauseous. The second time didn’t seem quite as bad (although I’m not sure JJ would agree). He didn’t get “faint-ish” or nauseous until the end. I’m sure the third time will be better still. He has to sit up for at least a half hour each time to prevent blot clots, pneumonia, and also to work his abdominal muscles.
After JJ had successfully sat up the first time and was back in bed again, EJ and I dashed back to the hotel room to shower and change clothes. It made me feel human again. We packed a change of clothing for ourselves for tomorrow and I also packed soft, loose clothing for JJ to wear when he is discharged on Friday. We also stopped at one of the hospital gift shops and bought JJ a hoodie as a gift. I wanted a shirt that said “Cancer Survivor ” on it, but they didn’t have any of them in the gift shop so we got him the hoodie. We are considering also getting him a hat that says “Cancer Sucks.” It describes cancer quite accurately. (A couple of friends have asked for info so they can by JJ a gift from the gift shop. If any friend would like to buy him a gift, email me and I will get you the phone number.)
It is my belief that everyone has an interesting story. Because of this, we enjoy chatting with the medical staff. One of the Patient Care Techs today asked where we were from. When we told her “Michigan,” she said that she grew up in Indianapolis but has relatives in Michigan. So we talked about where her relatives lived and the beauty of Michigan, and all that. Then she told us that she always likes to ask people where they are from because she has cared for people from all over the world, including Australia and Iceland. She said that she has even cared for a prince from India! That is very interesting. The nurse yesterday said she had cared for someone from Israel and also Pakistan.
JJ’s room is part of a suite. As a person enters from the hall, they enter what looks like it was a sitting room. It is mostly bare now with just a few pieces of furniture in it. EJ and I ate our lunch at the small table today while JJ slept. JJ’s room is off this larger room. EJ asked a nurse what the purpose of this other room was, and she told us that it used to be a board room with a large table in it. When rich businessmen were ill, their bed would be in the room that JJ is in and they’d have business meetings in board room. We thought that was interesting.
Three doctors visited JJ this afternoon to check his incision, etc. They said that tomorrow will be a big day for him: He will get to eat solid foods, he will get rid of the catheter, and he will get to walk. I don’t think he’s too thrilled about having to walk, but that is also an important step in his recovery. I think the doctors might remove the staples in his abdomen too. I can’t remember. It’s a big day, but will also probably be a rather difficult day because his abdomen is so painful.
About 6 p.m. I layed down on the couch and took a nap. EJ and I plan to take turns sleeping on the couch. The one not sleeping on the couch attends to JJ or dozes in a chair. We aren’t getting lots of sleep, but we are getting adequate sleep.
Tomorrow there are supposed to be severe storms in this area. That should be interesting.
Post Surgery
As time passes, we learn more about what is happening medically. The medical staff have explained that in order to take out the lymph node in JJ’s back, they have had to cut through a muscle. They also had to take out his intestines and then put them back in his body. When an intestine is touched, it automatically “goes to sleep” and it takes a day or so for it to “wake up” which is why JJ could only suck on ice chips yesterday. Besides incision pain, JJ experiences painful spasms because of the cut muscle. We can tell when he is experiencing a spasm because his whole body tenses up in pain and he clenches his fists. When we see him suffering a spasm, we hold on to his hands and let him grip our hands.
JJ has had a lot of painful spasms through the night and into today. When the pain gets too bad, the nurses talk to the “pain doctors” who manage JJ’s pain. The pain and, I think, some of the meds, is causing JJ to not exhale enough CO2 (which triggers alarms) so until his breathing is constantly in the “acceptable” range, the doctors have to be careful about giving him pain meds that would address the spasms because they can affect his ability to breath.
This morning three doctors came to see JJ. I think they were from his Urology Team. They checked his dressing, discussed his breathing, told us that JJ can begin drinking liquids, and said that the goal today is to get JJ sitting in a chair three times. Getting him upright will prevent blood clots and pneumonia. They said that from their stand point, JJ is doing excellently.
The medical staff–both the nurses and the doctors–are awesome. They exude compassion. Last night the nurse told us that JJ’s surgeon is the very best in the world for this type of condition and that people from all over the world come to learn from him or be treated by him.
Semi-private rooms just have chairs and families cannot sleep overnight. Families can stay overnight with patients who are in private rooms. The palatial private room JJ was moved into last night has a couch. However, it is only ONE couch. EJ and I have been taking turns sleeping. Since I had had the least sleep (a night of little sleep and another of absolutely no sleep), I slept on the couch during the night. The sleep is interrupted by medical staff and machine alarms. The nonsleeping person is busy attending to JJ. We are able to participate in his care somewhat. We find the nurse when there is a need, we turn off the CO2 alarm (which goes off often), we give JJ hot or cold packs for his abdomen and we hold his hands.
EJ and I are seriously sleep deprived.
We talked about making a brief run to our hotel suite for a shower and change of clothing sometime today. We slept all night in yesterday’s clothes because we weren’t prepared to stay overnight.
Surgery
JJ was able to get a couple hours of sleep during the night. I woke him a little after 4 a.m. so he would have time to take a shower before we left for the hospital. We arrived at the hospital by 5:30 a.m. as instructed and were told where to go to sign in for his surgery. A few minutes later a nurse took him back to get him in the hospital gown and all. We were told that we could join him when he was all ready.
We were able to sit with JJ in pre-op for quite a while. While we were there, everyone who was on the surgical team stopped in and introduced themselves. We were surprised that there would be five doctors working on him: the surgeon and his resident doctor, the anestheologist and his resident anestheseologist, and another doctor. I can’t remember what the last doctor did. They were all very friendly and compassionate and told us that they would take good care of JJ.
As soon as JJ was ready for surgery, we were directed to sign in with the lady at the desk in the surgical waiting area. She told us that the waiting area is divided up into sections. We were to choose a section and then tell her where we were so we could be easily found. Each section had a TV. There was free water and coffee available, vending machines, and computers for our use. We had brought our laptops with us so we didn’t need to use the hospital computers.
The waiting area had a Family Support person who would check on the status of the patients and then come and tell the families how their loved ones is doing. The first time we saw her was at around 8:30 a.m., she said that JJ had gone to surgery at 7:48 and that he was currently in surgery and doing well. The second time we saw her she said that he was in recovery and sleeping without a care in the world. She said that a nurse would not leave his side while he was in recovery.
JJ was out of surgery at about 9 a.m.. The surgery wasn’t as long as expected. EJ and I were led to a nearby consultation room where the surgeon met us to tell us how the surgery went. He said that the surgery went very well, it was very routine, and there were no surprises. I asked if this surgery would take care of all the cancer. He said that he’d have to wait for the pathology report to see, but it was likely that it would.
JJ had to have a pain med injected into his spine. That took 45 minutes because he had to be repositioned. Then he was in recovery for two hours. After he had stabilized, he was taken to his room and we met him there. We went to his room a little after 11 a.m.
When we arrived in his room, Jared looked very pale, weak, and drowsy. He indicated to me that he was in a lot of pain. I felt like crying. Then I started getting hot and clammy. I leaned over and said, “I’m getting faint.” EJ and a nurse helped me out of the room. Out in the hall, I leaned against the wall and slid down toward the floor–on purpose so I wouldn’t fall if I fainted. After awhile, I felt better and I was able to go back into the room. I was afraid I’d faint again when a nurse said that the reason JJ has stomach spasms is because his intestines were removed from his body to reach the lymph node and then put back in. Shudder. But I didn’t faint.
JJ is receiving oxygen through a tube in his nose. There is a sensor in front of his mouth that measures the amount of CO2 that he is exhaling. His body doesn’t want to breath or exhale deeply because he is in so much pain. If he doesn’t exhale enough CO2, the numbers on the machine go up past 60 and an alarm goes off. If the numbers stay high and the alarm keeps sounding for a certain amount of time, the machine won’t give him pain meds, which he really needs right now. Right now the alarm goes off every few seconds.
The nurse said that from their standpoint, JJ looks really good and is doing great. From our standpoint, this is the hardest day ever.
We weren’t in JJ’s room long when a young woman arrived with a bunch of balloons attached to a stuffed kitty for JJ. There was also a bag of snack food for us. They were all from my friend in Texas. I was so touched that I cried.
Visiting hours are from 5 a.m. to 11 p.m. We will be here as early and as late as we can.
Sleepless in Indianapolis
Usually I try to only write one post a day, but this night before JJ’s surgery is an exception. This night I am Sleepless in Indianapolis.
Sunday night I would have slept wonderfully except EJ wasn’t feeling well and he was restless. His restlessness kept waking me and JJ up. When we got back from the consultation with the surgeon today (I mean, Monday), everyone took naps. Since EJ was still sick, I let him nap in the bed, JJ slept on the couch, and I tried to nap in the recliner, which is slippery and doesn’t recline far enough back for a restful sleep. After a short doze, I got up.
Tonight, I mean, Monday night, EJ went to bed at around 8 p.m. He immediately fell asleep and has been sleeping ever since. That is GOOD, since he didn’t sleep the night before. He really needs sleep so he can feel better.
I was very tired, but I didn’t want JJ to be alone all evening, so I stayed up with him a bit. I finally went to bed because I know we have long hours and days at the hospital ahead of us and we need to have energy to be there for JJ. I went to bed but tossed and turned and tossed and turned. I kept thinking that I MUST get to sleep because we have to get up at 3 a.m. to get ready to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. Of course, the more time passed and the later it got, the less I was able to sleep. I felt a frantic “Tick Tock” in my head. “Tick Tock, Every minute you are not asleep is one less minute of sleep. Tick Tock.”
Although I am VERY, VERY GLAD EJ is sleeping, I found a tiny, tiny part of myself thinking, as EJ slept soundly beside me, that it is totally unfair that he is sleeping while I can’t because HE can sleep ANYWHERE, including in hospital chairs, and I find it IMPOSSIBLE to sleep in chairs. I will not get a smidgen a sleep until bedtime tomorrow night. I think I will look like a bloodshot hag tomorrow and scare small children.
I also keep thinking that the nurse at the surgeon’s office had suggested yesterday that we call our insurance company to see if they would pay for a private room because private rooms have sleeper couches for patient’s families. So EJ called the insurance company when we got back to our hotel room and the insurance company DENIED our request. I am thinking slightly bad thoughts about insurance companies denying JJ a private room with a couch where I might have been able to sleep.
About 1 a.m. I finally gave up on the possibility of sleep, and I went out into the living room where JJ was still awake. Once I gave up the idea of sleeping, I felt ok with it. I made myself some coffee, thinking JJ and I could have some sleepless Mom/Son time. We spent a couple of minutes looking out the window at the lights of the very large city. Most of the buildings we can see from our windows are hospitals. There are blocks and blocks of hospitals. We can see the name of one of the hospitals from our hotel window: Sidney and Lois Askenazi Hospital. With such a name, I figured it had to have a story behind it, so I looked up the hospital on the Internet Monday afternoon. I learned that in June 2011 Sidney and Lois Askenazi donated $40 million to build the hospital. It was one of the largest donations ever made to a public hospital in the USA. Their story is very interesting. You can read it HERE.
Next door to us is a hotel that is identical to ours. It’s amazing how many people are awake in the wee hours of the morning. We saw cars traveling on the streets and we speculated where they were going so late (or early).
After a few minutes, JJ put aside his computer and said that he thought he’d try to get to sleep. He laid on the couch, which is where he sleeps. He asked, “Do you think it’s ok to panic about my surgery now?” I said, “Absolutely. Go ahead, panic for a bit! I mean, if not now, when?” We chatted and laughed for a few minutes. JJ told me that he had actually tried to stay awake so he’d sleep during his surgery. “You silly boy,” I said, “Go to SLEEP. You don’t have to try to stay awake so you will sleep later. You will have drugs to make you sleep and you won’t be able to keep awake. SLEEP.”
Now I am alone in the dark sipping coffee and writing. At first I thought, “Ugh, this is like Hell Week!” But it’s not so bad. I sort of like night-time. Night feels like being in a secret hiding place where I can observe but not be seen. I feel invisible at night, but a nice kind of invisible. Night is for keeping vigil and sharing secrets. It’s the day–an exhausting day–that will be difficult.
A friend just share this quote by Julie Wright on her FB page. I loved it and felt it was appropriate on this long night, a night in which I am sleepless in Indianapolis. Since I can’t sleep, I will write about it. Difficult times make good stories, I think, even if they are about nothing more than sleeplessness.
In 30 minutes–at 3 a.m.– the alarm will go off and we will begin the day.
Monday in Indy
Last night a friend texted me that she had seriously planned to drive to Indianapolis to be with us while JJ has his surgery. It would have been a 6-7 hour trip for her. She decided not to come only because she is sick. People are being very considerate about not coming around JJ if they are sick. I was utterly amazed that she would be willing to drive all that way. She said, “You are worth it.” Another friend told me today that she and her husband had discussed coming to be with us–a trip of 1100 miles–but they couldn’t figure out how to do it. EJ said one of his sisters also considered coming to be with us. I am constantly astounded by the love of our friends. We have the most awesomely caring friends EVER.
We were tired yesterday after our long drive, so last night we ordered pizza to be delivered to our hotel room. That was fun, and the pizza was tasty. I looked out our window and saw the delivery guy drive up to the hotel. I also noticed that we weren’t the only guests ordering pizza. Here are some pictures from last night. Click on them to make them larger.
EJ was restless and up and down and up and down all night, first sleeping in the bed and then in the recliner and then back in the bed. I thought that his back was hurting him and he couldn’t get comfortable, but learned this morning that he hadn’t been feeling well. He said he felt swimmy-headed, feverish, and nauseous all night…and all day today.
When I heard how sick EJ was feeling, I felt a sense of panic. JJ MUST stay healthy for his surgery, and EJ MUST stay healthy because he is the only one who can get us to our destinations. I can get lost in a parking lot and lost in a gas station (and a theater, and a hospital, and….) so he CANNOT get sick. EJ stopped and bought some pepto-bismol tablets in the hotel gift shop as we left for the consultation with the surgeon this morning.
I had everything planned and packed for our trip to Indianapolis. I had figured that we’d mostly just be eating breakfast in our hotel suite so I packed several boxes of cereal. However, the trunk of the rental car wasn’t all that big so EJ left the picnic basket at home, and also a bag with some of the cereal. I thought we still had cereal in another bag so I was planning on us having cereal for breakfast this morning. Then I discovered that the bag that was brought with us only had snack crackers and a box of cereal that only EJ likes (and which he was too sick to eat this morning). So JJ and I had raisin toast and cold pizza for breakfast. Bleagh. At least I had coffee.
We arrived early at the Cancer Center. It was really quite beautiful. There were large bamboo trees along some of the hallways so that it looked as if the walls were living. One wall of bamboo divided a cafeteria area from the rest of the hall. The doctor’s offices on each floor overlooked an interior balcony so we could look over the half wall and see all the other floors all the way up and all the way down. I snuck one picture of JJ with the balcony behind him (which didn’t turn out all that well) but I felt kind of weird taking photos at a hospital as if I was a tourist. I found a couple of pictures of the hospital lobby on the Internet.
We had quite a long wait at the surgeon’s office. I felt very sorry for EJ because he was feeling so poorly. JJ and I kept each other entertained by cracking jokes that made us laugh.
Once we got back into the exam room, we found the staff to be delightful. JJ told the nurse about his pathetic breakfast, and she said, “That’s terrible! Would you like to come home with me? You could play X-box with my son and have GOOD food to eat. Or tell me where you are staying and I will bring GOOD food to your hotel room.” We laughed. JJ also her that he tends to be a “storm magnet” that attracts severe weather and tornadoes. She moaned, “Oh, great! There is supposed to be severe weather for the remainder this week.” “Yup,” we said, “It’s probably JJ’s fault.”
The doctor also was good–very warm and compassionate. He explained why he felt this surgery was necessary for JJ. He said that when testicular cancer patients have chemo–the very treatment JJ had–there are two results. One is that the cancer is completely gone so surgery is not needed. The other result is that there is an indication that there is still “something” in his body. In 20% of patients, the “something” is merely dead cancer cells. In 80% of the patients, the “something” is dangerous cancer cells. There is no way of telling which it is, so they prefer to remove the lymph node. He said that in some patients, a kidney (and/or other stuff) have to be removed. JJ doesn’t need that. There is a slight risk that the surgery could affect a certain nerve and cause a problem, but the risk is very slight. The surgeon expects JJ to be in surgery for only two hours and that the procedure will have no complications. Because of the way the surgeon explained everything, I didn’t have any problem with feeling faint.
JJ will be the surgeon’s first patient tomorrow. We have to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. so we will wake up at about 3 a.m. The surgeon said that JJ will probably head into surgery at around 7:30 a.m. He will be on a liquid diet for a day and then will be able to eat solid food. The surgeon said that because JJ is young and strong, he will recover quickly. He will probably be discharged from the hospital on Friday morning. Depending on our well JJ is feeling, we will probably leave for home on Saturday or Sunday.
After we left the Cancer Center, EJ drove us to a nearby grocery store. I bought saltines, ginger ale, and pepto bismol for EJ and milk and cereal for us, and a couple other things. Then we headed back to the hotel and EJ went to bed. He hopes that if he sleeps today he will start feeling better. (He doesn’t think it’s caused by stress.) I called my friend and then JJ fell asleep on the couch and I took a small nap in the recliner. We were all tired from our disturbed night.
I saw in the info book the hotel provided that there is a Kosher Deli nearby. I really wanted to order EJ chicken soup for supper, but I saw that they require a $100 minimum order for deliveries so THAT won’t happen. I would go to the deli to pick up the food except I would get lost forever. EJ doesn’t feel well enough to go himself. The other restaurants in the area that will delivery will deliver provide mostly pizza and subs. Or since we had pizza for breakfast, we could just have cereal for supper.
Indianapolis
We left home at 10 a.m. this morning for our trip to Indianapolis. The weather was perfect–blue skies and warm-ish temperatures. We were all in good spirits and the trip was fun. Too bad JJ has to have surgery. I told JJ that next time he does NOT get to choose our vacation destination.
I texted my friend as we drove along. I told her the cities we were passing through and she followed our journey using Google Maps. She let us know how many miles we had left to travel, the location of restaurants, and other interesting information. It was fun.
After we had driven for an hour or two, we stopped at a gas station so we could use the restroom. When I got out of the restroom, I went through the door leading outside and stopped in confusion because I didn’t see gas pumps or our car. Oops. I had gone through the wrong door and was on the wrong side of the building. Yup, I can get lost even in a gas station! I went back inside the station and found the correct door. Whew!
About 1 p.m. we decided that we were all STARVING so we began to look for a city where we could stop to eat. We stopped at Andersen. We stopped at two restaurants and they were totally packed with long lines of people eat out after church. We noticed then that all the parking lots of every restaurant we passed were filled with cars. We decided that we would keep driving. We figured that by the time we reached the next city, the after church crowd would have finished eating.
We found a restaurant called “Five Guys, Burgers, and Fries. in a city called Fisher. I had never heard of it before, but both EJ and JJ had heard of it. They said that it was said to have the best burgers in the USA. We discovered that the restaurant had no frills and they do not advertize their business at all, except for a sign on the highway. When we walked in, it was (apparently) obvious that we had never been there before, so the cashier, whose name was Zach, explained their menu and procedure. He was great. The food was good too.
EJ almost never gets lost. Ever. He can find his way ANYWHERE. That is very comforting for a person like me who has a super-weakness of Lostness. However, Ej has gotten lost TWICE before while driving through Indianapolis. TWICE. So I envisioned wandering helplessly through the city. However, with me reading off the directions from a brochure, he easily drove us to the hospital where JJ will have his surgery. It is like a university, with many, many various hospitals grouped together. It is HUGE. We located the cancer center where JJ will have his consultation with the surgeon tomorrow, and the main hospital where he will have his surgery. Then we drove to our hotel.
The hotel is only a few minutes away from the hospital. We arrived a little early and the room wasn’t yet ready for us, so we walked to a playground behind the hotel just to stretch our legs. Then we went for a drive. We passed the stadium where many people were arriving for a big basketball game between UCONN and MSU (Go MSU). Hopefully they won’t riot after the game like in some places. We also passed the speedway where the Indy 500 is held.
Our hotel room was ready when we got back. This is a hotel specifically designed for long-term residents. I’ve never stayed in such a place before–I mean one for long-term residents. The suite is pretty nice. The hotel gave us a list of restaurants that will deliver meals to our room. We are thinking about ordering out…maybe pizza? Tomorrow after JJ’s appointment, we hope to shop for a few groceries. We are too tired to go anywhere tonight. We won’t need many groceries because we will stay with JJ in the hospital most of the day and probably eat at the hospital most of the time.
Now that we are here, we feel tired from all the travel so we are relaxing. While I write this post, EJ is watching the game that is happening just across the river.
Pre-Indianapolis Blessings
We are almost ready for our trip to Indianapolis, except for last-minute packing and tasks. Today is Shabbat so we had a relaxing day. We usually spend Shabbat studying, talking, and relaxing, and we did that today.
EJ works with a man who is the husband of the woman who works at our bank. Jeff is EJ’s boss’s boss. They are both very sweet, kind people. They planned to stop by today to visit before we left for Indianapolis to encourage us. Paula ended up not accompanying her husband because she has a cough. Everyone has very careful not to come around JJ if they aren’t feeling well. We really, really enjoyed Jeff’s visit. It was the highlight of our day (and quite possibly our week). He told us that EJ is an incredible man and he feels honored to know him. I know that EJ is wonderful. I am glad that others can see it and that EJ could hear it.
Before he left, Jeff said that he and his wife wanted to give us a gift. He handed us an envelope with a sacrificial amount of cash in it. We have another friend who sent us money for a tank of gas. I feel so humbled by all the lovingly supportive people who God has brought into our lives during this time. I have no words to express my thankfulness.
After Jeff left, we all went for a drive in the rental car, just for fun. We first went to the post office because I had something that I need to mail TODAY. The post office was closed, of course, but I dropped the envelope in the mailbox outside the post office.
Next we drove to McDonald’s because JJ wanted to say “hi” to his co-workers before his surgery. The assistant store manager sat at a table with him and they chatted for a bit, as JJ updated him on what’s happening in his life. JJ said that he thinks that they’d accept him back immediately once he can work again. This doesn’t surprise me because JJ was an awesome employee. He was so hardworking and quick that his co-workers nicknamed him “the Grillinator” and JJ became “Employee of the Month” after working there only three months. One time JJ worked so quickly that the manager didn’t even realize until his shift was over that one of his co-workers had failed to show up.
The visits with Jeff and with the assistant manager were spirit-lifters for JJ–and for EJ and me.
We leave for Indianapolis tomorrow morning. I’m sure JJ won’t be feeling very well after the surgery, but we plan to enjoy the drive to Indianapolis and the time we have before the surgery. JJ’s has to be at the hospital at 5:30 a.m. (EST) on Tuesday. I will keep everyone updated about how he is doing as much as possible.
Lost (Again)
For some reason, neither EJ nor I slept well last night. However, we had to get up relatively early to go pick up the rental car.
Before we left, I walked across the street to our neighbors to ask if they’d keep an extra key just in case our pet-sitter got locked out of our house. I don’t expect her to lock herself out, but I like to be prepared for possibilities. My neighbor said she would keep the key so I handed it over to her.
Then we drove to the city to get the rental car. We had both intended to print off the directions and phone number of the rental place, but we had both forgotten. We knew it was located in or near the airport, but wasn’t sure where. Oops. EJ got us to the airport ok, and we didn’t see any rental place in the surrounding buildings, so we parked our car and walked into the airport. We immediately saw an information desk, asked the info guy where the rental company was. he directed us a short distance down the hall. No problem.
With insurance and taxes, the rental fee was a lot more than I expected. Oh well, at least JJ will have a comfortable-ish ride home and we won’t have to worry about the car breaking down.
Some of you might know–but some of you might not know–that I have a superpower. Actually, I think most people would discover that they have superpowers if they would only think about it. EJ’s superpower is Legendary Endurance. He also has a super-smelling nose like Gus on the TV series Psych. I think his Legendary Endurance is awesome, but I do not think that I would like to have a super-smelling nose. It could be pleasant sometimes (like smelling flowers or spices) but very unpleasant at other times.
My super power is Finding Lost Items. It is truly impressive. EJ or JJ will ask me to find something misplaced and I can immediately find it. Sometimes I can find Lost Items even when I don’t particularly want to. For example, a couple of months ago, EJ came home from work and there was something going on in the night sky. Usually we all love going outside to watch for lunar eclipses, or comets, or meteorite showers, or space station sightings. But that particular night, I was utterly exhausted and just wanted to go to bed. EJ said, “Can you find the binoculars? Oh, and do you know where [an item] is? It’s in a bag similar to the bag the binoculars are in.” I can’t remember what the second item was, but I said, “I have no idea where those items are and I don’t want to go searching for them. I’m too tired to look at the sky. I’m going to bed.” And I went upstairs to bed. I was drifting off to sleep when into my mind popped an image of the binoculars hanging in the closet. I groaned and tried to go to sleep, but I couldn’t. So with a sigh I went downstairs, opened the closet, and without really even looking I pulled out….the lost item in the bag similar to the binoculars. I handed it to EJ, reached into the closet again and pulled out the binocular case, and also handed it to EJ. His jaw dropped and his eyes got big from amazement. My super powers totally amaze my family. We all three went outside and looked at the stars and had a good time. THEN I went back to bed.
Like any person with superpowers, I also have a super weakness. My super weakness is that although I can awesomely find lost items, I cannot find myself. I get lost super, super easily. My ability to get lost is legendary, as family and friends could tell you. Like the time my sis-in-law drove me to “Parent’s Day” at JJ’s Boy Scout Summer Camp. My sis-in-law has driven all over the USA and never gotten lost. She also has a GPS. So finding her way is no problem. Except, with me in the car, it took us three hours to get to the Camp which was only an hour away. Apparently I can mess up other people’s sense of direction. I even screwed up the GPS, which directed us into a cemetery. I think I am like kryptonite.
Anyway, today we decided that EJ would drive the rental car home because I didn’t want to drive an unfamiliar car. Whenever we go to an unfamiliar place and there is a chance I could get lost, I simply follow EJ. He almost NEVER gets lost. The problem is that the rental car was in one parking lot, and our car was in another parking lot–one in which I had to pay to get out. EJ pointed toward the direction I should drive and where I should meet him. So I drove in that direction. I came to a gate–one with the arm that goes up and down. This arm didn’t go up. There was no place to pay. So, obviously, it was an entrance, not an exit. I backed up and turned around, and apprehensively tried to find a real exit, wondering how I would find EJ again.
I saw a sign that said “EXIT” so I followed it. It took me to a gate that looked EXACTLY like the previous gate. I thought, “Ok, so where’s the Exit???” I saw a sign that said to go through the gate to the toll-booth at the other side of another parking lot. (Why was that gate even there, anyway, if I had to stop at the toll-booth too?) I drove up to the toll-booth gate, obeying a sign ordering me to stay to the right. I put my little ticket into the little machine and the machine swallowed it. Then I looked for a slot to put my money in. There was none. I could only pay with a credit card, but EJ had the credit card, not me! I saw no human in the booth. I was trapped in the parking lot.
I saw EJ pull up at the intersection at the other side of the toll gate. He could tell something was wrong. I tried to call him, but he didn’t answer his phone. I held up my cell phone and pointed to it. “Answer your phone!” I mouthed. He acted (I thought) clueless. So I opened the car window, stuck out my phone, and pointed to it.”ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!!!” I pantomimed. He just looked at me. I realized after a short time that he had probably forgotten his phone at home. I was correct. Great. I was trapped in a parking lot with no ability to communicate.
I saw a sign, finally, that said that I was in the lane for credit card only payments. Of course I was. Given many directional choices, I ALWAYS choose the wrong one. Even if I choose to turn right instead of left because I know I always choose the wrong way, I still choose the wrong way. I pushed a button and the machine spit out the parking ticket. I sat there, imagining airport security surrounding me because I was acting “suspiciously.” Finally a toll-booth lady came out and I told her I hadn’t realized this was a “credit card only” lane. She told me to get in the other lane. I did so, and she took my money, and she let me out.
My super weakness is so strong that I even get lost and trapped in a stupid parking lot. Seriously.
I was able to follow EJ home. I was so glad to finally get home. My adventure traumatized me.
This afternoon I have been busy doing more packing. There have been some things I could pack early (my clothes, books, phone chargers, etc), some things I can pack closer to the time we have to leave (JJ’s clothes, nonperishable food), and some things I will need to pack at the very last minute (computers, toothbrushes and paste, curling iron).
We leave the day after tomorrow.
I will not be driving.
Happy Birthday, EJ!
Today is EJ’s birthday. I fixed him a spendiferous breakfast of deluxe scrambled eggs, a bagel, and a banana. When JJ woke up, we sang “Happy Birthday” to EJ and ate the cheese cake we bought yesterday. There were two pieces each of four different kinds of cheese cake. We cut them all in half so we could each have a piece of each type. It was very yummy. We ate it with cups of coffee.
This afternoon I was busy making Challah Bread. I made it today because I won’t have time to make it tomorrow morning. I also made potato salad. AND I continued packing for our trip to Indianapolis for JJ’s surgery. I have never before stayed in a hotel suite with a kitchen so I do not know what is provided. I figured that I better bring along a pot and a pan, a few utensils, dish soap, and so forth. You know, just to be safe. My “things to pack” list is getting longer. We might need to rent a trailer for all the things I am packing. 😀
We think that maybe, possibly, JJ’s hair is beginning to grow back. We can see eyebrows, a little shadow of a mustache, and maybe a tiny bit of fuzz on his head. We all thought his eyebrows look sort of bluish for some reason. I asked him if he wanted me to take pictures now and then so we can chart the progress. He said yes. Here is a picture from today:
5, 0, 2
For the last few weeks, ever since JJ’s surgery was scheduled, I have been giving ourselves a task or two to accomplish every day. That way we get everything done that we need to get done without getting overwhelmed.
This morning’s task EJ and I going to a nearby Secretary of State office to get license plate tags for the car. When I told my friend that we were going to the Sec of State office, she was very impressed, thinking that we were going to THE Secretary of State’s office in the capitol building. Apparently, in her state they call it the DMV–Department of Motor Vehicles. It’s probably the same thing but called different names.
After we got that task accomplished, we went to the grocery store to buy a few groceries for our pet-sitter as well as a few things for our trip. Since we will have a kitchen in our hotel suite, we will eat breakfast each day before heading over to the hospital to sit with JJ.
Tomorrow we are pretty much taking the day off, with no major errands planned, so we can quietly celebrate EJ’s birthday. Normally we would have gone out to eat to celebrate, but we need to save our money for the trip to Indianapolis. So instead I will make him a meal and we will have cake.
I bought EJ a birthday cheese cake while we were shopping today. He had chosen to get a sampler cheesecake, with several different kinds in one. I also bought three birthday candles. My family thought I was very clever (and so did I) because I bought 5, 0, and 2 number candles. Those three numbers are all the candles needed for all of our birthdays for the next year: 20, 50 and 52. In addition, I told my guys with pride, I have also bought candles for our 205th birthdays, as well as our 250th, 502nd, and 520th birthdays. JJ was like, “Um, I think you are getting ahead of yourself…” and EJ said, “Before I worry about my 502nd and 520th birthdays, I am going to concentrate on reaching my 205th birthday.” 😀
Every day I have been packing a little bit. I have a lot to pack. I have to pack not just our clothes but also toiletries, books to read, our computers, power cords and cell phone chargers, extra batteries, food and snacks, information needed for Indianapolis, and so on. It’s a lot to think of and pack, so rather than wait until the last minute, I pack all the things that I can pack ahead of time. Meanwhile, I also have to think of all the things our pet-sitter will need while she’s at our house.
We all agreed that if it weren’t for JJ’s surgery, our trip to Indianapolis would be fun.
Packing…
Yesterday morning we took JJ to have the lab tests that the surgeon wanted him to have before we meet with him. The Phlebotomist (the woman who took his blood) was one he had had before. She’s always pretty solemn when we first enter her room, but we keep up a funny banter and after a while she started smiling. While JJ was off having a second test, EJ and I sat in the waiting room. I saw a couple very long hairs on his beard and I went over and gently tugged them to see if they were loose or had grown longer than the rest of his beard. The Phlebotomist saw me, and I told her that when EJ’s beard grew long enough, I was going to braid it like a dwarf’s beard. She laughed very loudly and said, “You could also braid beads into his beard!” She laughed loudly again, and laughed as she went into her lab room, and kept laughing and smiling for a long time afterwards. We like making people laugh.
Later in the afternoon, our pet-sitter came over. She’s going to stay at our house while we are gone. I showed her where everything is, and how to use things, and how to care for the pets.
Yesterday I dragged out our suitcases. I got the biggest one for me, the medium-sized one for EJ, and the smallest one for JJ. I have the most stuff, EJ the next stuff, and JJ will only need a few things because he will spend most of the week in hospital gowns. Looking at our suitcases, I feel like the Three Little Bears.
This afternoon I did laundry. I will probably do laundry one more time before we leave to make sure all our clothes we plan to take with us are clean and so we don’t leave any dirty clothes in the hamper. I started to pack my suitcase today.
My friend in Texas and I got on Google+ video chat and together used Google Maps to locate the hospital and the hotel, as well as nearby restaurants and grocery stores. We also looked up restaurants within the hospital, and other patient/visitor information. For some reason, my friend’s “Google Map” program let her find the “nearby” information while mine didn’t, so she copied the info and emailed it to me, and I printed it out and put it in an envelope to take with us.
Tomorrow EJ has to renew his driver’s license. We also plan go to grocery shopping to get a few things for our pet-sitter as well as some stuff to take with us. We also will get a cheese cake for EJ’s birthday, which is Thursday. Friday we have to pick up our rental vehicle.
The days are moving fast. I’m trying not to think too much about the surgery because it makes me rather nervous to think of it. I will be so glad when it’s over and I know JJ is ok. One day at a time.
L’Chaim!
On March 11, after the oncologist had given us the results of the after-Chemo CT Scan and blood tests, he exclaimed to JJ “You are going to INDEEEAAPOLIS!” to have surgery to remove the cancerous lymph node in his back. The oncologist sounded so much like a game show announcer describing the dream vacation a contestant had won that I laughed, even though the surgery is very serious. Now, as I make numerous plans to prepare for the trip to Indianapolis, I hear it all narrated in my head in a game show announcer voice:
“You have won a trip to INDEEAAPOLIS! Your dream trip includes an eight-day stay for your parents in a luxurious one-bedroom suite–with kitchen and laundry facilities–in a hotel conveniently located near the hospital.”
“You will travel to your dream destination in a luxurious rented mid-sized SUV…”
“Your dream vacation to INDEEAAPOLIS will include life-saving treatment by a world-famous cancer surgeon….”
It always makes me laugh.
I have a lot of things on my To Do list that need to get done before our trip. One item on my list is: “Faint during the consultation with the surgeon on the day before JJ’s surgery.” It’s not that I WANT to faint, but I think it’s probable that I will. Even as a child, I had so much empathy for those who were suffering that I would faint–or come close to it–whenever I visited hospitals or doctors or heard about wounds or diseases. In my mid-20s I finally went to a behavioral specialist to learn how not to faint. After that, I never fainted even though I have had surgeries and medical procedures and even blood transfusions. But I have reverted a bit since JJ got sick with cancer because I empathize so strongly with my son. I almost fainted the first time we met with the oncologist and he started to describe JJ’s cancer. In fact, the oncologist told JJ, the CANCER PATIENT, to get off the exam table so I could lie down. JJ thought that was hilarious and said he’d never let me forget it. I really expect a similar thing to happen when the surgeon describes what he is going to do to JJ. So I have mentally written “faint” on my To Do list.
Today “celebrate JJ’s 19th Birthday” was on my To Do list. This birthday seems very special–more special than normal. It is very poignant and very life-affirming to celebrate another birthday, another year, after he has been battling cancer. He made it to another birthday. He will survive! All day my heart has been joyfully exclaiming “L’Chaim! To Life!”
I began JJ’s birthday by putting on my Mama Bear hat and blowing my shofar to wake him up. Shofars are blown on Biblical Feasts, on Shabbat, and on other occasions so it seemed appropriate to blow it for this very special occasion. Before I put the shofar to my lips, I not-so-solemnly announced to my drowsy son, “Now I will sing you the song of our people.” It just seemed like something a bear would say on an important occasion. I haven’t blown the shofar for a while so I forgot how to do it, and at first all I could get was a “fffffftttttt” sound. Apparently the “song of our people” is pretty pathetic. EJ said, “Let me try it!” I put the bear hat on him and gave him the shofar and announced, “Now your DAD will sing you the song of our people” but he didn’t do any better. I reached for my camera because I think EJ looks both distinguished and cute in the bear hat. He cried in horror, “Oh, no, she’s grabbing her camera!” and he quickly snatched the bear hat off his head before I could take a picture. Sigh. What is WRONG with these anti-camera people??? I took back the bear hat, put it on my head, and again tried to blow the shofar. After a few more “fffftttttt” sounds, I finally got a sound out of the shofar. JJ pretend groaned and then laughed. He later thanked me and said that he loved it.
After the shofar, JJ announced that he was hungry and he wanted a piece of cake. I told him that I had forgotten to buy him a “9” birthday candle the other day (I already have the “1”) and was planning to get it when we went to get the pizza. He said he didn’t want to wait. He was hungry and wanted birthday cake for breakfast. I said, “You do know that people don’t eat birthday cakes because they are hungry, right?” He said he didn’t care. So I found a bag of regular candles and started to put 19 of them on his cake. However, JJ and EJ exclaimed in horror that by the time we got 19 candles lit there would be wax all over the cake. “I don’t need 19 candles. Just light the four you already have on the cake,” JJ said. So I did. On my next birthday, I want DECADES of candles on my cake. It would make such a cheery blaze.
The cake was delicious. During Chemo, eating sugary things didn’t appeal to JJ. He said that after so long without sugar, the cake was really almost too much. I’m glad I bought him such a little cake. It was just right.
After we had our cake, a dear friend in Iowa called and asked me to put my phone on “speaker” and then hand it to JJ. She and her kids sang “Happy Birthday” to JJ. It was sweet and JJ had a big smile on his face as he listened. They sang “Happy Birthday” much better than we did.
After we had cake, we all got dressed and went to pick up pizza for JJ’s birthday meal. The birthday person always gets to choose his birthday meal and JJ had chosen to get a pizza. But first we stopped at the bank to transfer money into JJ’s account for his birthday. Money is the perfect gift for him because most of his purchases are done over the Internet. Using his debit card, he will be able to buy games to play while he is recovering from surgery. Every place we go in our small village, people always ask about JJ. Our friends at the bank hadn’t seen JJ for a long time, and they were very excited to see him. One of them gave him a huge hug. JJ mentioned having no eyebrows (or eyelashes) so I told everyone that I have offered to draw eyebrows on him with a marker–maybe a blue marker to match his hat and shirt. JJ laughed that he isn’t going to let me near any markers, colored pencils, chalk, or paint. The women lightheartedly discussed perhaps setting up a “pool” to guess what color and texture JJ’s hair will be when it grows back. We’ve heard it could grow back as a completely different color and/or texture.
Then it was on to the pizza place. On the way to Little Caesar’s Hot & Ready, JJ’s grandmother (EJ’s mom) called to wish him a happy birthday. She has been in the hospital and is now in a medical center to recover. JJ was very touched by her call. When we arrived at Little Caesars, EJ and I went in to order the two pizzas while JJ stayed in the car. He is still trying to be careful about not getting sick so he can be healthy for his surgery and recovery. If he goes into a public place with us, I say, “Do not touch door handles or shopping carts. Touch NOTHING. Maybe I should wrap you in bubble wrap to protect you?”
JJ said he would let us choose the pizza toppings. I said, “I’m going to tell them to put on sardines and snails.” He wasn’t worried and replied “That’s fine.” I guess he’s gotten used to me after 19 years. The pizzas–with ground beef, green and black olives, green peppers, mushrooms, and minus sardines and snails–were very hot and smelled delicious. As soon as we got home, we devoured one.
After EJ left for work, I took Danny for a walk. I am enjoying observing the lessening snow and growing areas of grass as the days get a bit warmer. After the walk, I dropped Danny off at home and walked to the post office and library. Our district library has many branches throughout the county and we can “order” books from other branches if our little library doesn’t have the book on its shelves. Most of the books I “ordered” had arrived. I am trying to get several books so I have something to read while sitting with JJ in the hospital.
Here are pictures from JJ’s birthday:
Taxes & Cactus & Cake
When JJ was a little boy, I used to tell him that sometimes Summer and Winter battled each other–with one day warm and another day cold. The times when they fight is called “Spring” and “Autumn.” In the Spring, Summer eventually wins the fight and the weather becomes warm and green. In the Autumn, Winter eventually wins the fight and the weather turns cold and snowy. Yestereday Summer and Winter fought hard: We had rain all day and then EJ said that it was snowing as he drove home from work.
Yesterday EJ and I went for a walk to the post office and library. We still have lots of snow on the ground, but the patches of green lawn are continuing to spread. There were large pools of melting snow on the sidewalks, and mud on lawns next to the sidewalks so we had to leap from dry patch to dry patch or choose between getting our shoes wet or getting them muddy. Downtown there were sections of sidewalk that were pure ice. We couldn’t go around the ice because of the deep snowdrifts formed along the streets when the snow was plowed throughout the winter so we had to hang onto each other as we skated across the ice. As we walked, I kept saying things like “Wow, these puddles are deep!” or “Eeew, my shoes are getting muddy!” or “It might have been better if we had walked in the street!” EJ said lightheartedly, “Wow! You sure are complaining a lot!” I replied, “I am not complaining. I am narrating our adventurous walk! There is a BIG difference between complaining and narrating.”
Later in the afternoon, JJ and I went for a short walk with me. I am glad he is feeling well enough to walk. JJ said he wasn’t going to wear a hat. He said he didn’t care if people saw him with a bald head (and no eyebrows or eyelashes). I thought that was very brave of him. I was proud of him for being comfortable with who he is.
I am the one in our family who keeps track of our schedules, appointments, and tasks that need to be accomplished. So that we don’t get overwhelmed, I try to give us one or two doable tasks to do each day. EJ usually does our taxes himself each year, although he hates doing it. This year JJ has to file taxes for the very first time. With all that is on our minds and all that we have to do, I suggested we just get a professional to prepare our taxes for us. It’s quicker and less stressful. We had an appointment this morning. We left home a little early so we could stop at the bank on the way. We also stopped at the hardware store to buy some varnish for my two birdhouses. I was hoping to varnish them this weekend so that we could put in posts as soon as the ground is thawed enough and MAYBE get the houses up before we left for Indianapolis so we could enjoy them when we got home. Then EJ told me that it must be warmish if I varnish them outside or we must have windows open if I varnish them inside, and as cold as it is, that probably won’t happen. Bummer.
After the hardware store, it was time for our appointment at the tax preparer’s. While we sat in the waiting area, we admired a very large potted cactus. It was so large that it almost reached to the ceiling. The receptionist then told us the story of the cactus: That it was probably 50 years old. Her sister got it when it was just a little thing and she had it for years, but when she and her husband moved down south, her husband said, “We are NOT taking it with us,” so the sister gave it to the receptionist. When moving it to her (the receptionist’s) house, the sister’s husband accidentally knocked a few pieces off the cactus and he threw them away, but the receptionist rescued the pieces and put them in pots. She gave two away to relatives (one might have been her son or daughter, I can’t remember) and she ended up giving another back to her sister when they came to visit a few years later, even though the husband said, “We are NOT taking it back with us.” When the original cactus got even bigger and the receptionist no longer had room for it at home, she put it in the waiting area at her work, which is, of course, where we saw it. So she still gets to enjoy it and care for it. This very large cactus has a very interesting story. I like collecting stories.
It wasn’t long before the tax preparer was ready for us. She got both ours and JJ’s taxes done within the hour, which was a huge relief. It’s one more task accomplished and one more thing we don’t have to think about. The tax preparer did JJ’s for free because last year he was in high school, and this agency does the taxes of those in high school for free. That was very nice. Since JJ did not accompany us, we had to take forms home for him to sign and then EJ dropped the forms off at the tax preparer office on his way to work.
On our way home, we stopped at the grocery store to buy a birthday cake for JJ, whose 19th birthday is tomorrow. Usually I make him my own special creation of Cookie Cake. I make a large peanut butter cookie with a brownie cake on top. He loves it, but this year we are trying to get a lot of stuff done with as little effort and stress as possible, and we really don’t want to have to eat a huge Coolie Cake, so I bought him a smaller heart-shaped peanut butter cake instead. He is fine with that.
In our family the birthday person always gets to choose what to have for his/her birthday meal. I asked JJ what he wanted to do this year–if he wanted to go out or stay home, have takeout or a home-cooked meal. He said that since we are going to soon be in Indianapolis for a week, he’d prefer to stay close to home. He wouldn’t mind takeout, but wasn’t sure what. We finally decided we will pick up a pizza tomorrow. We haven’t gone out for pizza in a long time.
I Love To Go A Gardening 